Missus has upped and left!
Discussion
As per the title she's upped and left me with our 4 year old after 5 years.
We have been through a rocky patch and its just took its toll deep down its the right choice but i am also heartbroken as she suffers from severe depression and its difficult to try and help when the door keeps being slammed shut. . I made the choice to move to her area besides her family so where she has them to fall back on my best mate is 400miles away and my soul mate is snoring her head in bed.
Now for the messy stuff of sorting the house which we bought last year and then deciding the best course of action buts jut now its all a haze.
Even more s
tter we have just had a great week in dorset with her family (15+) and was being a family once again.
We have been through a rocky patch and its just took its toll deep down its the right choice but i am also heartbroken as she suffers from severe depression and its difficult to try and help when the door keeps being slammed shut. . I made the choice to move to her area besides her family so where she has them to fall back on my best mate is 400miles away and my soul mate is snoring her head in bed.
Now for the messy stuff of sorting the house which we bought last year and then deciding the best course of action buts jut now its all a haze.
Even more s
tter we have just had a great week in dorset with her family (15+) and was being a family once again. My sympathies mate
Truth be told though, ive just come out of a relationship which consisted mostly of me taking the extra weight of all her troubles, and it isnt healthy. Sounds like you've sacrificed a lot for her, and she's drained a lot of your energy, might be best to let it go and move on.
Take care of yourself first, kid second, and make something out of your future.
Truth be told though, ive just come out of a relationship which consisted mostly of me taking the extra weight of all her troubles, and it isnt healthy. Sounds like you've sacrificed a lot for her, and she's drained a lot of your energy, might be best to let it go and move on.
Take care of yourself first, kid second, and make something out of your future.
oldbanger said:
That's a stty situation, especially as you are losing your job too.
Call the mate, even if they are 400 miles away.
Considering that you've just been on holiday with her folks, what are they doing?
Luckily i took the early redundancy and managed to find another job so that side is ok. tty situation, especially as you are losing your job too. Call the mate, even if they are 400 miles away.
Considering that you've just been on holiday with her folks, what are they doing?
There still away and are due back tomorrow so i think she's at her parents house. But shes not telling me where is she is. its frustrating as we were or i thought we were finally turning the corner.
Le TVR said:
Even more so as you say she suffers from severe depression. Let her family know asap.
Meanwhile, best of luck and I hope it works out.
Yeah i called them earlier she has went to there house and is staying there for the next few days.Meanwhile, best of luck and I hope it works out.
Luckily i have been busy sorting school bursary information out for a appt tomorrow and I'm out with friends over the weekend.
Think i just needed to vent somewhere.
Vent away, Charlie.
Can't add much to the great advice already given by others above: Keep yourself well & strong and in the daily company of people you trust & love as friends (even if remote - hey facetime, a call to check yourself, they will understand) - and this does include your other half; keep your child close & above all be reliable for them; keep in touch with OH parents all the while even if OH won't answer you - yet.
Very best wishes for happier resolution.
Can't add much to the great advice already given by others above: Keep yourself well & strong and in the daily company of people you trust & love as friends (even if remote - hey facetime, a call to check yourself, they will understand) - and this does include your other half; keep your child close & above all be reliable for them; keep in touch with OH parents all the while even if OH won't answer you - yet.
Very best wishes for happier resolution.
Edited by Huff on Thursday 31st March 23:10
Wacky Racer said:
Give her a bit of space, depression is a terrible illness.
Don't make any knee jerk reactions, (That's if you WANT the relationship to work).
A lot can happen in a week.
Good luck.
Wackyracer is right: it is a terrible illness. And it's an illness that is likely to recur, which is a bDon't make any knee jerk reactions, (That's if you WANT the relationship to work).
A lot can happen in a week.
Good luck.
h - if you want the relationship to work, you need to beat that in mind. I was in a relationship which cratered when she got a bout of depression - I feel for you.OP, sorry to hear this. 
Has your OH had any formal help for her depression?
It's a very very difficult illness to deal with, not only for the individual affected but also for partners, family and friends.
Support and understanding required (v diff from your position at the mo as I'm sure you feel very hurt). As mentioned, she needs formal help via her GP.
Has your OH had any formal help for her depression?
It's a very very difficult illness to deal with, not only for the individual affected but also for partners, family and friends.
Charlie1986 said:
As per the title she's upped and left me with our 4 year old after 5 years.
The fact that she's done that suggests her head isn't right at the moment.Support and understanding required (v diff from your position at the mo as I'm sure you feel very hurt). As mentioned, she needs formal help via her GP.
Charlie1986 said:
Now for the messy stuff of sorting the house which we bought last year and then deciding the best course of action buts jut now its all a haze.
Do not make any rash or 'permanent' decisions at this moment in time.Yikes. Random PHers always here to help.
My interpretation is though that she is recognising an issue with herself and clearly still trusts you. Any mother that ups and leaves a child has a serious issue, that is not rational or normal.
You might want to consider:
Some other sites:
http://www.onlydads.org/contact.html
http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/content/745/Single-d...
In this instance, I'd also suggest mumsnet - you will get a diverse response but may also help.
My interpretation is though that she is recognising an issue with herself and clearly still trusts you. Any mother that ups and leaves a child has a serious issue, that is not rational or normal.
You might want to consider:
- Keeping a log of what happened and when
- You may want to write to her GP notifying them of your concerns. They can't discuss her medical issues with you, but nor can they ignore a letter from an immediate relative. Worst case is he may book a telephone appointment with her.
- Try to keep an open channel with her parents now and ongoing, being clear that you want to do what's best by her and your child.
- Social services? Tricky one. Did she give you any notification? You might want to inform them so there is a log, i don't know (I'm just thinking worse case if she accuses you of anything... sad world that we live in)
Some other sites:
http://www.onlydads.org/contact.html
http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/content/745/Single-d...
In this instance, I'd also suggest mumsnet - you will get a diverse response but may also help.
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