Being apart when you're together

[227bhp]

I was watching Gogglebox recently and got to thinking how some couples sit in separate chairs when watching TV, some of the men look like Kings in their big arm chairs, whilst with some of the couples the women sit high in a big chair like Queens whilst the husband sits lower down alongside like a Jester - probably a reflection of how the relationship works.
My parents have sat apart for as long as I can remember, the OH's sit on either side of the room! I also know a couple who (whilst being very happy together) sleep in individual beds, they are getting on a bit and have never had children.

At what point did you decide 'Well actually, i'm having my own chair!'?

I need to get out more I know

[RobinOakapple]

227bhp said:

At what point did you decide 'Well actually, i'm having my own chair!'?

When you get to the age where comfort and access needs start to diverge. My wife has a chair that suits her, I have one that suits me. Neither of us would be comfortable in the other's chair. A settee to suit both of us does not exist.

[Wacky Racer]

I've been married 36 years and have always had own chair. An Englishman's chair is his castle.....


(Besides, Mrs WR is into crafting and knitting and needs the extra space of a two seater)

[HTP99]

In the lounge we have two settee's; a two seater and a three seater, the two seater is infront of the TV and the three is over to the side.

Myself and the wife sit on the two seater, she sits to the side with her legs over mine and I am instructed to tickle her feet, we have been together for 24 years and have always done this.

The three seater is only used by guests or the youngest, or if there are no guests or the youngest is in her room (95% of the time), Daisy our French Bull Dog takes up residence amongst the cushions, sometimes joined by Barry (Terrier); at a distance though! I sometimes sit and look at them and think "fk me I have paid x hundreds of £'s for a bloody dog sofa!" as they are generally the only "people" who use it.

My dad always had "his chair" my mum just sat wherever it took her fancy, when my dad re-married (the bh), he still sat in "his chair" and that woman sat elsewhere.

Edited by HTP99 on Tuesday 14th June 10:16

[RizzoTheRat]

My grandfather died just after I moved house and before my then girlfriend now wife moved in with me, and I inherited his very nice leather Stressless recliner. So I sit in that and the Mrs gets the 3 seater sofa. She's usually either trying to do some work and watch telly at the same time, or lying on the sofa falling asleep with the telly on, so it works quite well

[iphonedyou]

We moved from a tiny one bed flat in zone two to a detached house in the country with a garden.

We spend as much time apart as possible! From sitting on one tiny sofa on top of each other, we now sit on separate sofas on opposite sides of the room.

[xjay1337]

I think it all depends on the relationship and how you and your partner have grown. But I can't imagine sitting on opposite chairs is conducive to a long term relationship.
But as I said, it fully depends on the relationship and many people enjoy their own space without there being a reduction in physical contact.

For me I can't imagine not having a snuggle up watching the TV or a Movie.

[Colonial]

We have a massive 7 seat corner lounge with a chaise.

Works perfect. Enough space when we want it. When we want a cuddle while watching something or reading we can both stretch out at 90 degree angles.

[227bhp]

xjay1337 said:

I think it all depends on the relationship and how you and your partner have grown. But I can't imagine sitting on opposite chairs is conducive to a long term relationship.
But as I said, it fully depends on the relationship and many people enjoy their own space without there being a reduction in physical contact.

For me I can't imagine not having a snuggle up watching the TV or a Movie.

Having read about some of your exploits recently I think you'd be looking forward to the possibility of something like that

[iphonedyou]

xjay1337 said:

I can't imagine sitting on opposite chairs is conducive to a long term relationship.

[xjay1337]

Haha, I've moved on mate.

:-)

[GT03ROB]

Most of the time we sit on different continents never mind sofas!!

[227bhp]

Wacky Racer said:

I've been married 36 years and have always had own chair. An Englishman's chair is his castle.....


(Besides, Mrs WR is into crafting and knitting and needs the extra space of a two seater)

Yes, current victim does this too, but as we have sofas she has room for all her gubbins by her side. I do tend to keep a reasonable distance (whilst sharing the settee) after getting prodded by knitting needles a few times.

You can't have had your own chair from day one though can you? There must have been some shared sofa time at the beginning?

[944fan]

I have the chair and foot stool pointing at the telly. Wife has the sofa and lies down on it, She rarely watches the telly.

Twas always thus.

[227bhp]

944fan said:

I have the chair and foot stool pointing at the telly. Wife has the sofa and lies down on it, She rarely watches the telly.

Twas always thus.

I think this is probably the norm: Man = chair, OH = sofa.

[indigostr]

We are lucky enough to have separate sofas.....in separate rooms. That way she can flick between channels to her hearts content. I don't watch much tv but do watch box sets in the winter. I still haven't shown her how to use the sky box yet so I'm left in peace.
I know plenty of couples with separate bedrooms, I snore horrendously so Mrs stays away until special time. I also get up at around 6 every morning which before the snoring caused just as many rows. She also likes a light on at night which I cant tolerate. . When we go away first priority looking for accommodation is 2 bedrooms.
This has probably kept us together for the last 25 years.

[xjay1337]

indigostr said:

We are lucky enough to have separate sofas.....in separate rooms. That way she can flick between channels to her hearts content. I don't watch much tv but do watch box sets in the winter. I still haven't shown her how to use the sky box yet so I'm left in peace.
I know plenty of couples with separate bedrooms, I snore horrendously so Mrs stays away until special time. I also get up at around 6 every morning which before the snoring caused just as many rows. She also likes a light on at night which I cant tolerate. . When we go away first priority looking for accommodation is 2 bedrooms.
This has probably kept us together for the last 25 years.

Same thing happened with my friend at work actually.
I also snore occasionally but so far hasn't caused much in the way of problems. Although if it meant I had to have a seperate bedroom I'd want to get it resolved via surgery or lifestyle changes.

That being said some people obviously like their own space, I think your own space is healthy.

Without being crude, how does special time work when you are in seperate rooms?
I mean, you can't start with suggestive touching or kissing, do you have to text her going "fancy a shag ? x" and hope she pops round?
And how soon after finishing do you go back to your respective rooms? What happened to the after shag cuddling!?

[rsbmw]

xjay1337 said:

Same thing happened with my friend at work actually.
I also snore occasionally but so far hasn't caused much in the way of problems. Although if it meant I had to have a seperate bedroom I'd want to get it resolved via surgery or lifestyle changes.

That being said some people obviously like their own space, I think your own space is healthy.

Without being crude, how does special time work when you are in seperate rooms?
I mean, you can't start with suggestive touching or kissing, do you have to text her going "fancy a shag ? x" and hope she pops round?
And how soon after finishing do you go back to your respective rooms? What happened to the after shag cuddling!?

Made me laugh, I've been known to text the wife when she's gone up before me "do you want some penis?"

[stuartmmcfc]

RobinOakapple said:

When you get to the age where comfort and access needs start to diverge. My wife has a chair that suits her, I have one that suits me. Neither of us would be comfortable in the other's chair. A settee to suit both of us does not exist.

With us, this ^
And I love it

[RizzoTheRat]

indigostr said:

We are lucky enough to have separate sofas.....in separate rooms.

We currently have seperate sofas in separate countries