The History of the Glob
Discussion
Don't blame me, the statistics thread gave me the idea to post this! 
The Ancient World
The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation.
The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intolerable. Achilles appears in The Iliad, by Homer. Homer also wrote The Oddity, in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey.
Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He died from an overdose of wedlock.
In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath.
The government of Athens was democratic because the people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbors were doing.
Eventually, the Romans conquered the Geeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March killed him because they thought he was going to be made king. Caesar expired with these immortal words upon his dying lips: "Tee-hee, Brutus!" Nero was a cruel tyrant who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
Medieval History
Then came the Middle Ages, when everyone was middle aged. King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery. King Harold mustarded his troops before the Battle of Hastings. Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
In midevil times most of the people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verse and also wrote literature.
Early Modern History
Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenberg for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull.
The government of England was a limited mockery. Queen Elizabeth was a success. Her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William J. Shakespeare. Shakespeare never made much money and is famous only because of what he wrote. He lived in Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comedies, and errors. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet.
Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
American History
During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were named the Nina, the Pinta Colada, and the Santa Fe. Columbus put the American flag in the ground. Tarzan is a short name for the American flag. Its full name is the Tarzan Stripes.
One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally, the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis.
America was founded by four fathers. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence, which says that all men are cremated equal.
Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm. He invented electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand!" Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
George Washington married Martha Custis and in due time became the Father of Our Country. His farewell address was Mount Vernon.
Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the Constitution, the people have the right to bare arms.
Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his very own hands. He said, "In onion there is strength."
Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope.
On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.
Modern Times
Meanwhile in Europe, the Enlightenment was a reasonable time. Gravity was invented by Isaac Newton. It is chiefly notable in the Autumn, when the apples are falling off the trees.
Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. Bach died from 1750 to the present.
Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. His music was very loud. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.
The Ancient World
The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation.
The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. One myth says that the mother of Achilles dipped him in the River Stynx until he became intolerable. Achilles appears in The Iliad, by Homer. Homer also wrote The Oddity, in which Penelope was the last hardship that Ulysses endured on his journey.
Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He died from an overdose of wedlock.
In the Olympic Games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. The reward to the victor was a coral wreath.
The government of Athens was democratic because the people took the law into their own hands. There were no wars in Greece, as the mountains were so high that they couldn't climb over to see what their neighbors were doing.
Eventually, the Romans conquered the Geeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March killed him because they thought he was going to be made king. Caesar expired with these immortal words upon his dying lips: "Tee-hee, Brutus!" Nero was a cruel tyrant who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
Medieval History
Then came the Middle Ages, when everyone was middle aged. King Arthur lived in the Age of Shivery. King Harold mustarded his troops before the Battle of Hastings. Magna Carta provided that no free man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
In midevil times most of the people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the time was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verse and also wrote literature.
Early Modern History
Martin Luther was nailed to the church door at Wittenberg for selling papal indulgences. He died a horrible death, being excommunicated by a bull.
The government of England was a limited mockery. Queen Elizabeth was a success. Her navy went out and defeated the Spanish Armadillo.
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William J. Shakespeare. Shakespeare never made much money and is famous only because of what he wrote. He lived in Windsor with his merry wives, writing tragedies, comedies, and errors. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet.
Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
American History
During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were named the Nina, the Pinta Colada, and the Santa Fe. Columbus put the American flag in the ground. Tarzan is a short name for the American flag. Its full name is the Tarzan Stripes.
One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally, the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis.
America was founded by four fathers. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence, which says that all men are cremated equal.
Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm. He invented electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand!" Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
George Washington married Martha Custis and in due time became the Father of Our Country. His farewell address was Mount Vernon.
Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the Constitution, the people have the right to bare arms.
Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his very own hands. He said, "In onion there is strength."
Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope.
On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.
Modern Times
Meanwhile in Europe, the Enlightenment was a reasonable time. Gravity was invented by Isaac Newton. It is chiefly notable in the Autumn, when the apples are falling off the trees.
Bach was the most famous composer in the world, and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. Bach died from 1750 to the present.
Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. His music was very loud. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.
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