Has anyone used Sarah's law?
Discussion
And would it make me a bad person if I used it?
The situation is:
Mother-in-law (50) has a boyfriend (I'm guessing similar age). Quiet frankly, he's a bit weird!
She is planning on moving in with him, so it means their might be the opportunity for our kids to be with him and her, without us - something we've avoided so far.
My reasons for concern:
Currently living in an unknown location. (She drops him off and picks him up from a pub)
Serving a six year driving ban.
Unemployed (last employed as a bus driver I believe).
Is a very regular drinker.
Basically something doesn't stack up with him.
Now the kids love their Nanny (no idea why! Even the devil would struggle to take to her!) so I just want to check with the police that he's not known to them for reasons involving children.
Another problem is I only have his name. Which also confuses me as a 6 year driving ban would surely flag up on google, but nothing. (Name change maybe?)
The situation is:
Mother-in-law (50) has a boyfriend (I'm guessing similar age). Quiet frankly, he's a bit weird!
She is planning on moving in with him, so it means their might be the opportunity for our kids to be with him and her, without us - something we've avoided so far.
My reasons for concern:
Currently living in an unknown location. (She drops him off and picks him up from a pub)
Serving a six year driving ban.
Unemployed (last employed as a bus driver I believe).
Is a very regular drinker.
Basically something doesn't stack up with him.
Now the kids love their Nanny (no idea why! Even the devil would struggle to take to her!) so I just want to check with the police that he's not known to them for reasons involving children.
Another problem is I only have his name. Which also confuses me as a 6 year driving ban would surely flag up on google, but nothing. (Name change maybe?)
No, but you do sound as if you have good cause to do so.
I'm guessing MiL won't listen to any reasoning though from your other half about how bizarre this whole situation is where she doesn't even know where he currently lives and only knows of him from collection at a pub.
Which means you've got to consider the real possibility of 'that' conversation with her as well at some point - maybe not you, but your other half (and any siblings she may have if they have these concerns too) for which I do not envy you
I'm guessing MiL won't listen to any reasoning though from your other half about how bizarre this whole situation is where she doesn't even know where he currently lives and only knows of him from collection at a pub.
Which means you've got to consider the real possibility of 'that' conversation with her as well at some point - maybe not you, but your other half (and any siblings she may have if they have these concerns too) for which I do not envy you
TwigtheWonderkid said:
People don't get 6 yr driving bans every day. The local press would have reported on it.
Not automatically they won't so the fact that it "doesn't come up on Google" should not be cause for concern. The cause for concern should be what it was for. Even then it doesn't mean he is in any way fiddling with kids.red_slr said:
6 years? New one on me. I always thought it was 3 year max followed by lifetime ban. I guess he might have got 2 x 3 year bans? Would no doubt have done some jail time for that too..
You can get banned for up to 14 years for various offences. I know of someone who got banned for 3 years for drug driving twice in quick succesion and they added the bans together to give him a 5 year ban. No jail time and no mention in the newspaper or trace on Google.mr_spock said:
Is kiddy fiddling the issue here? A guy with stuff to hide and a drink problem would have me keeping my kids away.
Certainly I wouldn't want any unsupervised contact with the kids, not for paedophile reasons more for the fact he just sounds untrustworthy. Anyone banned for drink driving clearly can't be trusted.
Maybe there are other factors here though. Could be living in a hostel and embarrassed to be picked up from there?
Why not (OP) go and have a chat with him? Could be that he is a loser and a wrong 'un or maybe there is some background behind all this.....I don't know....wife died turned to drink or some sad story..?
I posted on another thread a couple of months ago about how my (ex) mother in law got totally taken in by some guy, wouldn't listen to concerns or advice and I had to take action in the end. She now thanks me for it.
To answer some on the questions.
I'm not saying he's a paedophile, just I have a massive element of doubt in my mind as to who this guy is, and I would rather rule it out. Much like if you found a lump, you would go to the doctor. It's could be a spot, but it's best to find out.
In terms of talking to him and her, it's impossible! We don't have a great relationship with her, and very rarely see him, and if we do he just doesn't talk. We went to her house a few weeks ago, and he didn't even respond to my 'hi mate, you alright'. Talking to the mother-in-law wouldn't work as wouldn't tell us anything as she thinks we're interfering.
His ex is still alive, and he has a son with her, but I'm not sure if he sees him as he's down here most weekends (we live in Swindon, he lives in Oxford).
I'm not saying he's a paedophile, just I have a massive element of doubt in my mind as to who this guy is, and I would rather rule it out. Much like if you found a lump, you would go to the doctor. It's could be a spot, but it's best to find out.
In terms of talking to him and her, it's impossible! We don't have a great relationship with her, and very rarely see him, and if we do he just doesn't talk. We went to her house a few weeks ago, and he didn't even respond to my 'hi mate, you alright'. Talking to the mother-in-law wouldn't work as wouldn't tell us anything as she thinks we're interfering.
His ex is still alive, and he has a son with her, but I'm not sure if he sees him as he's down here most weekends (we live in Swindon, he lives in Oxford).
You say that you and your wife do not have a great relationship with the MIL, so I'm struggling to see why you'd allow your children to be with her without you being there.
Surely this is a good opportunity to remove the unaccompanied contact she currently has with your children and then you won't really have any need to worry too much about this bloke?
Surely this is a good opportunity to remove the unaccompanied contact she currently has with your children and then you won't really have any need to worry too much about this bloke?
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