Wills - Friend struggling with step mother post Dads death
Discussion
Hi
Looking for some advice to pass onto a friend.
His Dad died a year ago. Before he died he promised his son (my friend) money but said that his estate would go to his wife (mates tep mum) of 30 years and when she passed my friend would get an even share alongwith her grand kids.
He has nothing on paper, hasn't seen nay documents and was not contacted by solicitors following dads death presuem what he was told was true, in that all of his dads estate went to his wife.
His fear is that she will only pass her estate to her grand kids upon her passing.
Any idea if there is anything he can do to lay a claim to what he feels is rightly his, once she passes it will be too late so he wants to look at options now.
Any advice will be appreciated by both myself and him
Looking for some advice to pass onto a friend.
His Dad died a year ago. Before he died he promised his son (my friend) money but said that his estate would go to his wife (mates tep mum) of 30 years and when she passed my friend would get an even share alongwith her grand kids.
He has nothing on paper, hasn't seen nay documents and was not contacted by solicitors following dads death presuem what he was told was true, in that all of his dads estate went to his wife.
His fear is that she will only pass her estate to her grand kids upon her passing.
Any idea if there is anything he can do to lay a claim to what he feels is rightly his, once she passes it will be too late so he wants to look at options now.
Any advice will be appreciated by both myself and him
My synmpathies to your friend, It's not an easy subject to broach, but if you want to know for certain, you have to ask outright. Then if the answer is not what you want, there's not much you can do about it either, unless you want to spend money on disputing the wills.
Apologies this is not real constructive advice from me, but this is something my wife is not looking forward to. Her parents divorced and both remarried and she spoke to them both, concerned that it all doesn't get swallowed up and distributed to the step side of the family if they die. Both parents have said they would and have, but without standing over them reviewing the actual will, she doesn't really know if they have or not.
So in truth she has readied herself to receive nothing, and not expect anyone, especially the step mother & father to do "the right thing".
Apologies this is not real constructive advice from me, but this is something my wife is not looking forward to. Her parents divorced and both remarried and she spoke to them both, concerned that it all doesn't get swallowed up and distributed to the step side of the family if they die. Both parents have said they would and have, but without standing over them reviewing the actual will, she doesn't really know if they have or not.
So in truth she has readied herself to receive nothing, and not expect anyone, especially the step mother & father to do "the right thing".
Edited by prand on Wednesday 7th September 16:12
jonamv8 said:
Hi
Looking for some advice to pass onto a friend.
His Dad died a year ago. Before he died he promised his son (my friend) money but said that his estate would go to his wife (mates tep mum) of 30 years and when she passed my friend would get an even share alongwith her grand kids.
He has nothing on paper, hasn't seen nay documents and was not contacted by solicitors following dads death presuem what he was told was true, in that all of his dads estate went to his wife.
His fear is that she will only pass her estate to her grand kids upon her passing.
Any idea if there is anything he can do to lay a claim to what he feels is rightly his, once she passes it will be too late so he wants to look at options now.
Any advice will be appreciated by both myself and him
Iy may be that the stepmother's will says what the dad told him. If it doesn't then he's fooked, short of challenging this, which will be very difficult and expensive.Looking for some advice to pass onto a friend.
His Dad died a year ago. Before he died he promised his son (my friend) money but said that his estate would go to his wife (mates tep mum) of 30 years and when she passed my friend would get an even share alongwith her grand kids.
He has nothing on paper, hasn't seen nay documents and was not contacted by solicitors following dads death presuem what he was told was true, in that all of his dads estate went to his wife.
His fear is that she will only pass her estate to her grand kids upon her passing.
Any idea if there is anything he can do to lay a claim to what he feels is rightly his, once she passes it will be too late so he wants to look at options now.
Any advice will be appreciated by both myself and him
I'd go and see a probate solicitor who will undoubtedly advise for one hour free of charge (or in any event for a couple of hundred quid). It will be money well spent. Penny wise pound foolish.
Is there any way that he can find out the contents of the Stepmother's will??
Soov535 said:
I'd go and see a probate solicitor who will undoubtedly advise for one hour free of charge (or in any event for a couple of hundred quid). It will be money well spent. Penny wise pound foolish.
This. If he wants actual advice based on law then see a professional. Otherwise your about to get a lot of armchair "professional" along soon.I can however sympathise as my dad has remarried and he has no will, as well as an estate of about 350K. I like my step brother and we have always agreed to split any money evenly, but money can turn the nicest people into
s, so I am not counting on my share of my dad goes 1stKrazyIvan said:
Soov535 said:
I'd go and see a probate solicitor who will undoubtedly advise for one hour free of charge (or in any event for a couple of hundred quid). It will be money well spent. Penny wise pound foolish.
This. If he wants actual advice based on law then see a professional. Otherwise your about to get a lot of armchair "professional" along soon.I can however sympathise as my dad has remarried and he has no will, as well as an estate of about 350K. I like my step brother and we have always agreed to split any money evenly, but money can turn the nicest people into
s, so I am not counting on my share of my dad goes 1stShe may have the best of intentions and by asking it may jeopardise this, is his thinking. She could also be having him over and her will gives it all to her side of the family.
She says she has set up a trust, I guess for inheritance tax purposes - if she is being honourable would my friend be mentioned within the trust as a beneficiary?
We cannot think of anyway to find out without asking her out right.
Hour with solicitor may be a good shout but interested in peoples opinions too.
She says she has set up a trust, I guess for inheritance tax purposes - if she is being honourable would my friend be mentioned within the trust as a beneficiary?
We cannot think of anyway to find out without asking her out right.
Hour with solicitor may be a good shout but interested in peoples opinions too.
It is not clear from what you say whether there was a will or not.
so, go to https://probatesearch.service.gov.uk/#wills
This will tell you whether there was a will and whether probate was granted. For a small cost you can get a copy.
If not, then I suspect that (unless you mate has something in writing or a witness) the money has gone to the step mum so it is all down to her good will as to whether he gets anyway.
I am no expert though, other than having to be a executor for an estate where the probate service queried the validity of the will.
so, go to https://probatesearch.service.gov.uk/#wills
This will tell you whether there was a will and whether probate was granted. For a small cost you can get a copy.
If not, then I suspect that (unless you mate has something in writing or a witness) the money has gone to the step mum so it is all down to her good will as to whether he gets anyway.
I am no expert though, other than having to be a executor for an estate where the probate service queried the validity of the will.
brman said:
It is not clear from what you say whether there was a will or not.
so, go to https://probatesearch.service.gov.uk/#wills
This will tell you whether there was a will and whether probate was granted. For a small cost you can get a copy.
If not, then I suspect that (unless you mate has something in writing or a witness) the money has gone to the step mum so it is all down to her good will as to whether he gets anyway.
I am no expert though, other than having to be a executor for an estate where the probate service queried the validity of the will.
No will found.so, go to https://probatesearch.service.gov.uk/#wills
This will tell you whether there was a will and whether probate was granted. For a small cost you can get a copy.
If not, then I suspect that (unless you mate has something in writing or a witness) the money has gone to the step mum so it is all down to her good will as to whether he gets anyway.
I am no expert though, other than having to be a executor for an estate where the probate service queried the validity of the will.
Intestacy I believe, auto passed to wife of 30 years.
That sound right?
jonamv8 said:
brman said:
It is not clear from what you say whether there was a will or not.
so, go to https://probatesearch.service.gov.uk/#wills
This will tell you whether there was a will and whether probate was granted. For a small cost you can get a copy.
If not, then I suspect that (unless you mate has something in writing or a witness) the money has gone to the step mum so it is all down to her good will as to whether he gets anyway.
I am no expert though, other than having to be a executor for an estate where the probate service queried the validity of the will.
No will found.so, go to https://probatesearch.service.gov.uk/#wills
This will tell you whether there was a will and whether probate was granted. For a small cost you can get a copy.
If not, then I suspect that (unless you mate has something in writing or a witness) the money has gone to the step mum so it is all down to her good will as to whether he gets anyway.
I am no expert though, other than having to be a executor for an estate where the probate service queried the validity of the will.
Intestacy I believe, auto passed to wife of 30 years.
That sound right?
t storm MUST know that problems will ensue, draw your own conclusions about why. markcoznottz said:
jonamv8 said:
brman said:
It is not clear from what you say whether there was a will or not.
so, go to https://probatesearch.service.gov.uk/#wills
This will tell you whether there was a will and whether probate was granted. For a small cost you can get a copy.
If not, then I suspect that (unless you mate has something in writing or a witness) the money has gone to the step mum so it is all down to her good will as to whether he gets anyway.
I am no expert though, other than having to be a executor for an estate where the probate service queried the validity of the will.
No will found.so, go to https://probatesearch.service.gov.uk/#wills
This will tell you whether there was a will and whether probate was granted. For a small cost you can get a copy.
If not, then I suspect that (unless you mate has something in writing or a witness) the money has gone to the step mum so it is all down to her good will as to whether he gets anyway.
I am no expert though, other than having to be a executor for an estate where the probate service queried the validity of the will.
Intestacy I believe, auto passed to wife of 30 years.
That sound right?
But...
I can say I'm going to give my mate a £1m tomorrow, but I'm not.
He's like some security in writing as when it happens it will be too late
Some families never discuss these things, with inevitable results. In fairness anyone leaving behind a s
t storm MUST know that problems will ensue, draw your own conclusions about why. KrazyIvan said:
Soov535 said:
I'd go and see a probate solicitor who will undoubtedly advise for one hour free of charge (or in any event for a couple of hundred quid). It will be money well spent. Penny wise pound foolish.
This. If he wants actual advice based on law then see a professional. Otherwise your about to get a lot of armchair "professional" along soon.I can however sympathise as my dad has remarried and he has no will, as well as an estate of about 350K. I like my step brother and we have always agreed to split any money evenly, but money can turn the nicest people into
s, so I am not counting on my share of my dad goes 1stMy dad died Christmas eve 2014 completely out of the blue at 65 years old, he remarried 4.5 years previous to an old school flame, whom I got on with extremely well. Myself, the wife and our kids welcomed her into the family unconditionally and I saw them both at least 4 times a week as I lived 2 roads away so would always pop in for a chat and a drink when out with the dog, my sister was much more guarded and TBH she couldn't stand her.
I saw flashes that she had issues and she could be difficult but on the whole we got on extremely well and in some respects I came to love her like a mum.
When dad died my side of the family rallied round and looked after her and we all grieved together, however 6m later not much progress was being made with regards to my dads affairs. I knew there were issues with his will; he was supposed to re-do one a year or so before and I knew he hadn't, however my stepmum didn't discuss it with me, she discussed it with others and I found out third hand that there was a will, which had been written by my dad, which looked after her, but it didn't mirror her will; which is what it should have done, I don't know what her will said.
Things came to a head one evening as both myself and my sister weren't being told things and we felt she was hiding things as we were finding out snippets from others and she was lying, an argument ensued between myself and her and she asked me to leave; this was in the July after his death.
Dad's will wasn't valid as there was only 1 witness signature, however in it he stated that she was to be looked after and any left was to be distributed three ways; her, myself and my sister and when her new house was no longer required, the proceeds were to be split three ways again.
She was on the house deeds so the house passed to her and there is nothing legal that states both myself and my sister were to receive anything from what is left between the purchase of a new house for her and the proceeds of the sale of my fathers house.
The house was put up for sale and sold and we weren't told; the house that both myself and my sister grew up in, however I did find out by digging about. Myself and my sister weren't involved in helping clear the house, there were things going back decades that were nothing to do with her which have disappeared.
She has moved back to where she came from, to be near her son and has purchased a bungalow, given what I know, my dads house sold for £530,000, there was an outstanding mortgage of £130,000, she has purchased a bungalow for £200,000 she also received a £60k death in service payment so I reckon myself and my sister should have received around £76k each, yet we have received nothing.
She has subsequently cut off contact and upset all of my dads family; the woman is an evil b
h and my dad would be devastated if he knew, especially as I welcomed her into the family and took her under my wing when he died.markcoznottz said:
jonamv8 said:
brman said:
It is not clear from what you say whether there was a will or not.
so, go to https://probatesearch.service.gov.uk/#wills
This will tell you whether there was a will and whether probate was granted. For a small cost you can get a copy.
If not, then I suspect that (unless you mate has something in writing or a witness) the money has gone to the step mum so it is all down to her good will as to whether he gets anyway.
I am no expert though, other than having to be a executor for an estate where the probate service queried the validity of the will.
No will found.so, go to https://probatesearch.service.gov.uk/#wills
This will tell you whether there was a will and whether probate was granted. For a small cost you can get a copy.
If not, then I suspect that (unless you mate has something in writing or a witness) the money has gone to the step mum so it is all down to her good will as to whether he gets anyway.
I am no expert though, other than having to be a executor for an estate where the probate service queried the validity of the will.
Intestacy I believe, auto passed to wife of 30 years.
That sound right?
t storm MUST know that problems will ensue, draw your own conclusions about why. To be fair, I think most people who die intestate just cannot bring themselves to do a will as it means accepting they will die. It is always one of those things "I will get around to later...".
Hmm.. that reminds me, I really should sort out my will....
HTP99 said:
A subject very close to my heart.
My dad died Christmas eve 2014 completely out of the blue at 65 years old, he remarried 4.5 years previous to an old school flame, whom I got on with extremely well. Myself, the wife and our kids welcomed her into the family unconditionally and I saw them both at least 4 times a week as I lived 2 roads away so would always pop in for a chat and a drink when out with the dog, my sister was much more guarded and TBH she couldn't stand her.
I saw flashes that she had issues and she could be difficult but on the whole we got on extremely well and in some respects I came to love her like a mum.
When dad died my side of the family rallied round and looked after her and we all grieved together, however 6m later not much progress was being made with regards to my dads affairs. I knew there were issues with his will; he was supposed to re-do one a year or so before and I knew he hadn't, however my stepmum didn't discuss it with me, she discussed it with others and I found out third hand that there was a will, which had been written by my dad, which looked after her, but it didn't mirror her will; which is what it should have done, I don't know what her will said.
Things came to a head one evening as both myself and my sister weren't being told things and we felt she was hiding things as we were finding out snippets from others and she was lying, an argument ensued between myself and her and she asked me to leave; this was in the July after his death.
Dad's will wasn't valid as there was only 1 witness signature, however in it he stated that she was to be looked after and any left was to be distributed three ways; her, myself and my sister and when her new house was no longer required, the proceeds were to be split three ways again.
She was on the house deeds so the house passed to her and there is nothing legal that states both myself and my sister were to receive anything from what is left between the purchase of a new house for her and the proceeds of the sale of my fathers house.
The house was put up for sale and sold and we weren't told; the house that both myself and my sister grew up in, however I did find out by digging about. Myself and my sister weren't involved in helping clear the house, there were things going back decades that were nothing to do with her which have disappeared.
She has moved back to where she came from, to be near her son and has purchased a bungalow, given what I know, my dads house sold for £530,000, there was an outstanding mortgage of £130,000, she has purchased a bungalow for £200,000 she also received a £60k death in service payment so I reckon myself and my sister should have received around £76k each, yet we have received nothing.
She has subsequently cut off contact and upset all of my dads family; the woman is an evil bh and my dad would be devastated if he knew, especially as I welcomed her into the family and took her under my wing when he died.
My sympathies, Geed friend has had very similar happen to him. Father promises all sorts of things. The will is not updated, he dies suddenly. Step mum buggers off with the "loot". My dad died Christmas eve 2014 completely out of the blue at 65 years old, he remarried 4.5 years previous to an old school flame, whom I got on with extremely well. Myself, the wife and our kids welcomed her into the family unconditionally and I saw them both at least 4 times a week as I lived 2 roads away so would always pop in for a chat and a drink when out with the dog, my sister was much more guarded and TBH she couldn't stand her.
I saw flashes that she had issues and she could be difficult but on the whole we got on extremely well and in some respects I came to love her like a mum.
When dad died my side of the family rallied round and looked after her and we all grieved together, however 6m later not much progress was being made with regards to my dads affairs. I knew there were issues with his will; he was supposed to re-do one a year or so before and I knew he hadn't, however my stepmum didn't discuss it with me, she discussed it with others and I found out third hand that there was a will, which had been written by my dad, which looked after her, but it didn't mirror her will; which is what it should have done, I don't know what her will said.
Things came to a head one evening as both myself and my sister weren't being told things and we felt she was hiding things as we were finding out snippets from others and she was lying, an argument ensued between myself and her and she asked me to leave; this was in the July after his death.
Dad's will wasn't valid as there was only 1 witness signature, however in it he stated that she was to be looked after and any left was to be distributed three ways; her, myself and my sister and when her new house was no longer required, the proceeds were to be split three ways again.
She was on the house deeds so the house passed to her and there is nothing legal that states both myself and my sister were to receive anything from what is left between the purchase of a new house for her and the proceeds of the sale of my fathers house.
The house was put up for sale and sold and we weren't told; the house that both myself and my sister grew up in, however I did find out by digging about. Myself and my sister weren't involved in helping clear the house, there were things going back decades that were nothing to do with her which have disappeared.
She has moved back to where she came from, to be near her son and has purchased a bungalow, given what I know, my dads house sold for £530,000, there was an outstanding mortgage of £130,000, she has purchased a bungalow for £200,000 she also received a £60k death in service payment so I reckon myself and my sister should have received around £76k each, yet we have received nothing.
She has subsequently cut off contact and upset all of my dads family; the woman is an evil b
h and my dad would be devastated if he knew, especially as I welcomed her into the family and took her under my wing when he died.The way I see it is to a) either be very strong and open with ageing relatives to ensure nothing like this can happen and all wills are clearly updated. or b) grow a thick skin and expect the worst from all parties and have zero expectations, including hanging on to sentimental stuff.
HTP99 said:
KrazyIvan said:
Soov535 said:
I'd go and see a probate solicitor who will undoubtedly advise for one hour free of charge (or in any event for a couple of hundred quid). It will be money well spent. Penny wise pound foolish.
This. If he wants actual advice based on law then see a professional. Otherwise your about to get a lot of armchair "professional" along soon.I can however sympathise as my dad has remarried and he has no will, as well as an estate of about 350K. I like my step brother and we have always agreed to split any money evenly, but money can turn the nicest people into
s, so I am not counting on my share of my dad goes 1stMy dad died Christmas eve 2014 completely out of the blue at 65 years old, he remarried 4.5 years previous to an old school flame, whom I got on with extremely well. Myself, the wife and our kids welcomed her into the family unconditionally and I saw them both at least 4 times a week as I lived 2 roads away so would always pop in for a chat and a drink when out with the dog, my sister was much more guarded and TBH she couldn't stand her.
I saw flashes that she had issues and she could be difficult but on the whole we got on extremely well and in some respects I came to love her like a mum.
When dad died my side of the family rallied round and looked after her and we all grieved together, however 6m later not much progress was being made with regards to my dads affairs. I knew there were issues with his will; he was supposed to re-do one a year or so before and I knew he hadn't, however my stepmum didn't discuss it with me, she discussed it with others and I found out third hand that there was a will, which had been written by my dad, which looked after her, but it didn't mirror her will; which is what it should have done, I don't know what her will said.
Things came to a head one evening as both myself and my sister weren't being told things and we felt she was hiding things as we were finding out snippets from others and she was lying, an argument ensued between myself and her and she asked me to leave; this was in the July after his death.
Dad's will wasn't valid as there was only 1 witness signature, however in it he stated that she was to be looked after and any left was to be distributed three ways; her, myself and my sister and when her new house was no longer required, the proceeds were to be split three ways again.
She was on the house deeds so the house passed to her and there is nothing legal that states both myself and my sister were to receive anything from what is left between the purchase of a new house for her and the proceeds of the sale of my fathers house.
The house was put up for sale and sold and we weren't told; the house that both myself and my sister grew up in, however I did find out by digging about. Myself and my sister weren't involved in helping clear the house, there were things going back decades that were nothing to do with her which have disappeared.
She has moved back to where she came from, to be near her son and has purchased a bungalow, given what I know, my dads house sold for £530,000, there was an outstanding mortgage of £130,000, she has purchased a bungalow for £200,000 she also received a £60k death in service payment so I reckon myself and my sister should have received around £76k each, yet we have received nothing.
She has subsequently cut off contact and upset all of my dads family; the woman is an evil b
h and my dad would be devastated if he knew, especially as I welcomed her into the family and took her under my wing when he died.HTP99 said:
jonamv8 said:
Simpo Two said:
Wills can be contested, though I don't know the procedure.
expensive game thoMust admit I'm guilty of not doing a Will but my excuse is our situation is very straightforward. It's extremely remiss of anyone who has remarried not to do one. Friend of ours literally lost the family farm over this sort of thing.
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