What's your EDBW?
Author
Discussion

LandR

Original Poster:

6,249 posts

284 months

Tuesday 13th September 2016
quotequote all
Everyday Bedside Weaponry.

You know the deal. You're sleeping, tucked up at home safely in bed. One eye open, ready to protect your family if some bad guy should show up in the middle of the night.

BUt when he does, what are you grabbing.

Is it a golf club?
A large knife.
A sword.
Shotgun.
Chained up bear that's ready to pounce on intruders.
A 1kw flashlight.
Your wife as a human shield.

What's under your pillow, under your bed or on the bedside cabinet.

How are you keeping your family / go karting trophies / wine & whisky collection safe?

Vitorio

4,296 posts

173 months

Tuesday 13th September 2016
quotequote all
A fire extinguisher?

Honestly though, im not really worried about all of this. And most of my possessions are material value only, so if some scumbag rips my telly off the wall, ill claim it with the insurance company and buy a new telly (probably a bigger 4K one...)

And here in the netherlands there are far less firearms then in the UK/US AFAIK.

Evoluzione

10,345 posts

273 months

Tuesday 13th September 2016
quotequote all
A book and the clock radio.
Oh and a lamp, I guess I could always go at him James Bond V Jaws style?

Shakermaker

11,317 posts

130 months

Tuesday 13th September 2016
quotequote all
I didn't used to have anything really, maybe one of the thick (but paperback) Game of Thrones books, but other than that, nothing.

But since last weekend I have found I now have a new ally in the EDBW category... one of the kittens I bought for my wife. The boy seems to be very vicious if you disturb him from his post, somewhere on the windowsill...

Generally though, no, I don't worry about someone breaking into my house in the middle of the night, and if they want to steal my TV they can do so, me coming at them armed with a weapon is only going to increase the likelihood of them getting violent with me, and I don't want to be in the back of an ambulance with only my pants on.

LandR

Original Poster:

6,249 posts

284 months

Tuesday 13th September 2016
quotequote all
I would have to choose between:

A bottle of water.
A paperback novel (I'm not paying for hardback, what's wrong with you!)
An alarm clock (where the alarm doesn't work)
My phone (because the alarm does work on that)

Puggit

49,821 posts

278 months

Tuesday 13th September 2016
quotequote all
The dog is downstairs wink

Adenauer

18,982 posts

266 months

Tuesday 13th September 2016
quotequote all
Puggit said:
The dog is downstairs wink
I was just going to say, two dog treats to give to the Rottweiler cross and the Alsatian cross downstairs once they've finished with the nasty bad man. biggrin

ApOrbital

10,592 posts

148 months

Tuesday 13th September 2016
quotequote all
My farts and the baseball bat.

craigjm

21,620 posts

230 months

Tuesday 13th September 2016
quotequote all
I think this is the last thing you need to worry about. Worth worrying about is what weapons you have elsewhere in the house that they could use.

About 10 years a friend of mine had his house broken into in the middle of the night to get the keys to steal his Evo or Impreza (I forget which one he had at the time) and they went into the kitchen, took a knife out of the knife block and then walked into the bedroom with the knife to his 4 year old daughters throat to demand the keys from his bedside.

What I learnt from that? hide your knife blocks away and put your keys somewhere they can easily be found its not worth trying to "guard" them.

Alex_225

7,841 posts

231 months

Tuesday 13th September 2016
quotequote all
I have a pair of these down the side of the bed.



Not that I'm especially trained to use them but thought they were cool!!

Edited by Alex_225 on Tuesday 13th September 10:45

craigjm

21,620 posts

230 months

Tuesday 13th September 2016
quotequote all
Alex_225 said:
I have a pair of these down the side of the bed.

[IMG]http://www.tonfa.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/tonfa.jpg[/IMG}

Not that I'm especially trained to use them but thought they were cool!!
Not trained in how to link a pic either hehe

benm3evo

421 posts

211 months

Tuesday 13th September 2016
quotequote all
I wear nothing in bed, no one wants to fight a naked bloke surely?

CAPP0

20,881 posts

233 months

Tuesday 13th September 2016
quotequote all
Adenauer said:
Puggit said:
The dog is downstairs wink
I was just going to say, two dog treats to give to the Rottweiler cross and the Alsatian cross downstairs once they've finished with the nasty bad man. biggrin
Likewise, substituting male GSD and female GSD x.

I live at the end of a small close and absolutely nobody gets within proximity of the final 4 houses without the dogs going banzai, day or night.

craigjm

21,620 posts

230 months

Tuesday 13th September 2016
quotequote all
CAPP0 said:
Likewise, substituting male GSD and female GSD x.

I live at the end of a small close and absolutely nobody gets within proximity of the final 4 houses without the dogs going banzai, day or night.
I bet your neighbours love that when they are trying to sleep

iphonedyou

10,422 posts

187 months

Tuesday 13th September 2016
quotequote all
Love it when people give it the big 'I am' because they own dogs.

Like their dogs are going to do anything other than bark a bit and lick the intruders a lot.

rofl

Hilts

4,684 posts

312 months

Tuesday 13th September 2016
quotequote all
I'm tooled up right now with a zimmer frame but normally just have a kindle and a table-lamp.

Sir Snaz

571 posts

216 months

Tuesday 13th September 2016
quotequote all
massive rubber dildo

Alex_225

7,841 posts

231 months

Tuesday 13th September 2016
quotequote all
craigjm said:
Not trained in how to link a pic either hehe
Alright alright I got the wrong bracket!!! haha

craigjm

21,620 posts

230 months

Tuesday 13th September 2016
quotequote all
Sir Snaz said:
massive rubber dildo
Thats a bit Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

CaptainCosworth

6,931 posts

123 months

Tuesday 13th September 2016
quotequote all
iphonedyou said:
Love it when people give it the big 'I am' because they own dogs.

Like their dogs are going to do anything other than bark a bit and lick the intruders a lot.

rofl
Yep, after our labrador had finished with them our only hope would be that they were too covered in drool to be able to carry anything away lick

Years ago, after our shed got broken into I dug out my old cricket bat and kept it under the bed... No idea why as (a) I'm not powerfully built, and (b) we lived in a tiny flat with no chance of swinging the thing! hehe