Discussion
No, not me.
A girl I know gets rather down and tearful on a fairly regular basis. I've tried talking to her about it (as you do) but she clams up and insists there is no real reason for it, that she's generally happy and that it's just something that has affected her since she was a teenager.
As she's close to me I'd like to help her, but really have no idea how to approach in the right way. I've tried on a number of occasions to talk to her whilst she's been upset, and also a little bit afterwards, to no avail.
Is this kind of thing common? It's the first time I've encountered it with someone close to me, and I keep wondering what the underlying cause could be. Of course it could be myriad things. I have an inkling it may be linked to her low self-esteem.
Has anyone dealt with similar issues?
A girl I know gets rather down and tearful on a fairly regular basis. I've tried talking to her about it (as you do) but she clams up and insists there is no real reason for it, that she's generally happy and that it's just something that has affected her since she was a teenager.
As she's close to me I'd like to help her, but really have no idea how to approach in the right way. I've tried on a number of occasions to talk to her whilst she's been upset, and also a little bit afterwards, to no avail.
Is this kind of thing common? It's the first time I've encountered it with someone close to me, and I keep wondering what the underlying cause could be. Of course it could be myriad things. I have an inkling it may be linked to her low self-esteem.
Has anyone dealt with similar issues?
Yes, a former friend had the same issue, it took me about 3 years before she would totally open up to me and trust me. She would'nt be honest with anyone in her life about what she was feeling. Unfortuneately by that time I was hopelessly in love with her which destroyed our by then ver close friendship.
You can't force someone to talk about some things, even though its sometimes in their best interests.
You can't force someone to talk about some things, even though its sometimes in their best interests.
How regular? Sorry to be so girly but it could be linked to her cycle and she is too embarrased to talk about it. Perhaps you could say that you have noticed she gets a bit down quite regularly and a visit to her docs may help.
Otherwise just letting her know that you are a mate that she can talk to when she needs to may just be enough.
Ace-T
Otherwise just letting her know that you are a mate that she can talk to when she needs to may just be enough.
Ace-T
Strewth, sounds complicated than simple depression, often depressives are all too ready to pour forth. A good ear is usually appreciated.
Having "been there" myself recently, it is hideous and I do wish her the very best. It is a lot more difficult than people think.
Surf's up this week, best medicine.
Having "been there" myself recently, it is hideous and I do wish her the very best. It is a lot more difficult than people think.
Surf's up this week, best medicine.
Somethings are best not talked about with someone you know.
I would not wish to taint something new with something from my past.
I am only to well aware that I have memories firmly in a "box" which at sometime will need emptying, when I choose to do this it will be with a proffesional and not with someone I love.
Right now all you can do is be honest and true.
>> Edited by wedge girl on Sunday 13th March 20:47
I would not wish to taint something new with something from my past.
I am only to well aware that I have memories firmly in a "box" which at sometime will need emptying, when I choose to do this it will be with a proffesional and not with someone I love.
Right now all you can do is be honest and true.
>> Edited by wedge girl on Sunday 13th March 20:47
Thanks for your replies. I've asked (discreetly) if its related to her monthly cycle, and she said no. I'm wary of making an issue out of it, so when it happens again I'll try and gently encourage her to think about speaking to someone else about it (i.e. her GP) if she'd rather not talk to me about it.
vixpy1 said:
Disagree, I think Drugs are the worst thing to do, unless its clinical depression, in which case they are nessasary. I think anti-depressants are over relied on as a quick fix.
Another girl I know very well is on these, and I'm not convinced that she's got any better with them - still gets panic attacks, still uphappy, still hasn't address the real cause of her unhappiness. I wouldn't like to see the other girl on a prescription unless she really needed them.
The south park episode 'the succubus' may have some relevance here.
http://tyme2breal.com/index.php/2005/02/23/south-park-succubus/
http://tyme2breal.com/index.php/2005/02/23/south-park-succubus/
vixpy1 said:
Disagree, I think Drugs are the worst thing to do, unless its clinical depression, in which case they are nessasary. I think anti-depressants are over relied on as a quick fix.
When used properly anti depressants are there to help stabilise the chemicals in your brain as previously mentioned. This give the person the opportunity to address the root cause of the problem, which is often very difficult without a stable base to work from. They are not a solution but a method whereby a solution can be worked toward.
There seems to be a lot of opinions about these drugs based on sensationalist reportings in the media. And yes I am sure they have been prescribed incorrectly in a few cases. However I do not think they should be dismissed out of hand as they can help people get on the road to recovery. Any docs on PH, please feel free to shoot me down if my understanding is incorrect.
Ace-T
If you can get a copy of it, read the book "Nicola" by Nicola Owen, it directly deals with the effects a womans hormone cycle, she was diagnosed was a "hysterical psychopath" where as what she actually had was an undiagnosed hormone deficiency, which led to her burning her house down and spending time in a straight jacket in Holloway.
She is my cousin and the only way forward for her was drug therapy.
She is my cousin and the only way forward for her was drug therapy.
alexkp said:Best thing she can do is go see her doctor - depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and antedepressants can really help sort this out.
Have to offer my 2p worth here, these are not always, as welcome a solution, as they might seem, from personal experience, I should look at other routes to well being first
Have to offer my 2p worth here, these are not always, as welcome a solution, as they might seem, from personal experience, I should look at other routes to well being first
rich 36 said:
alexkp said:Best thing she can do is go see her doctor - depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain and antedepressants can really help sort this out.
Have to offer my 2p worth here, these are not always, as welcome a solution, as they might seem, from personal experience, I should look at other routes to well being first
I am not suggesting that she should be put on antedepressents...but that a doctor should give an assessment and decide if it would help her. Mild antedepressants might be a useful short or medium term measure to help get her back to a degree of stability.
Any such drug treatment should be augmented by counselling in my opinion.
Given sensibly, such drugs can be incredibly helpful in cases like this.
There have been a few threads around this subject lately.
Seems there are a lot sad people out there right now.
Its strange is 'nt it, how we as a people are relatively prosperous, safe, warm and not hungry, and yet we seem sadder than at any time in the past.
And its getting more common.
I wish your friend peace of mind.
Seems there are a lot sad people out there right now.
Its strange is 'nt it, how we as a people are relatively prosperous, safe, warm and not hungry, and yet we seem sadder than at any time in the past.
And its getting more common.
I wish your friend peace of mind.
Thom said:
Its strange isn't it, how we as a people are relatively prosperous, safe, warm and not hungry, and yet we seem sadder than at any time in the past.
It's because we have nothing to really get worried about that we get 'bored' and depressed ...
Fortunately I have never suffered with depression, but I have watched those around me be crippled by the illness.
The world that I live in is cerainly not safe, and I certainly have much to worry about,I do not view either of these things as a factor in depression.
Would you view any other illness is such a manner?
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