Discussion
Regular PHers may know this one already. It came to mind as there's a thread running about putting big engines into cars and planes that weren't designed for them....
THE DARWIN AWARD
Each year an award, for services to genetics, is posthumously given to honour an individual who has done away with themselves in the most ridiculously stupid way. This years entry comes after a find by the Arizona Highway Patrol who sighted a pile of smouldering wreckage embedded in the side of a cliff rising above a road at the deepest point of a bend. The debris initially looked like a plane crash, but following a forensic examination, it turned out to be a car.
It appeared that the driver had got hold of a JATO (jet-assisted take-off unit) - a solid fuel rocket used to give heavy army transport planes a bit of extra whoosh when taking off from short runways. Our guy bolts this JATO on the back of his Chevvy Impala, finds a stretch of desert road, and puts his foot down. "The facts as best could be determined are that the driver of the 1976 Impala hit the JATO ignition approximately 4 miles from the crash site", says the report, having looked at the pile of scorched asphalt. If the JATO worked properly, it would have reached maximum thrust in five seconds, causing the Chevvy to hit in excess of 350 mph. The driver, 'soon to be a pilot’, (as the report puts it) would probably have experienced G-forces of a magnitude felt by F-16 fighter pilots in combat, 'basically causing him to become insignificant for the remainder of the event'. The car remained on the tarmac for about 2½ miles before the driver tried to stop, completely melting the brakes, blowing the tyres and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1½ miles, finally hitting the cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater three feet deep in the rock.
Most of the drivers remains were not recoverable; however small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater, whilst some finger nails and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to have been part of the steering wheel.
THE DARWIN AWARD
Each year an award, for services to genetics, is posthumously given to honour an individual who has done away with themselves in the most ridiculously stupid way. This years entry comes after a find by the Arizona Highway Patrol who sighted a pile of smouldering wreckage embedded in the side of a cliff rising above a road at the deepest point of a bend. The debris initially looked like a plane crash, but following a forensic examination, it turned out to be a car.
It appeared that the driver had got hold of a JATO (jet-assisted take-off unit) - a solid fuel rocket used to give heavy army transport planes a bit of extra whoosh when taking off from short runways. Our guy bolts this JATO on the back of his Chevvy Impala, finds a stretch of desert road, and puts his foot down. "The facts as best could be determined are that the driver of the 1976 Impala hit the JATO ignition approximately 4 miles from the crash site", says the report, having looked at the pile of scorched asphalt. If the JATO worked properly, it would have reached maximum thrust in five seconds, causing the Chevvy to hit in excess of 350 mph. The driver, 'soon to be a pilot’, (as the report puts it) would probably have experienced G-forces of a magnitude felt by F-16 fighter pilots in combat, 'basically causing him to become insignificant for the remainder of the event'. The car remained on the tarmac for about 2½ miles before the driver tried to stop, completely melting the brakes, blowing the tyres and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1½ miles, finally hitting the cliff face at a height of 125 feet leaving a blackened crater three feet deep in the rock.
Most of the drivers remains were not recoverable; however small fragments of bone, teeth and hair were extracted from the crater, whilst some finger nails and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to have been part of the steering wheel.
But burglars and muggers do exist. Crime is going up because they've learned to make their getaway at or below the speed limit... hence Plod's not interested. Much easier to prey on us; we give our real names and addresses when asked, are not generally abusive or violent and have the means to pay fines. If you were Plod, which would you rather arrest? QED.
OK, shoot these down!
3rd Runner-up: Marino Malerba, a Spanish hunter who shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging rock and was killed when the animal fell on top of him, antlers-first.
2nd Runner-up: Jerry Stromyer, a West Virginia party animal who popped a blasting cap into his mouth during a backyard bash and bit down, triggering
an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, and tongue. He survived, but Mr Darwin gives Jerry an "A" for effort!
1st Runner-up: Tony Roberts, 25, who wanted to be a member of Mountain Men Anonymous so badly that he agreed to let a friend try and shoot a beer can
off his head - with a crossbow - as an initiation. The bolt entered Roberts' right eye and exited the rear of his skull, but it managed to miss every
major blood vessel and it didn't even touch his brain (which isn't really all that surprising, when you think about it). He survived, but another "A"
for effort, here.
Winner soon.
3rd Runner-up: Marino Malerba, a Spanish hunter who shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging rock and was killed when the animal fell on top of him, antlers-first.
2nd Runner-up: Jerry Stromyer, a West Virginia party animal who popped a blasting cap into his mouth during a backyard bash and bit down, triggering
an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, and tongue. He survived, but Mr Darwin gives Jerry an "A" for effort!
1st Runner-up: Tony Roberts, 25, who wanted to be a member of Mountain Men Anonymous so badly that he agreed to let a friend try and shoot a beer can
off his head - with a crossbow - as an initiation. The bolt entered Roberts' right eye and exited the rear of his skull, but it managed to miss every
major blood vessel and it didn't even touch his brain (which isn't really all that surprising, when you think about it). He survived, but another "A"
for effort, here.
Winner soon.
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