cocky students
Discussion
I was in Oxford at the weekend with 2 of my bros - one of whom is a student there, and was having his 21st birthday party weith all his buddies. Everything was going swimmingly - cheap curry in a BYOB curry house, lots of booze
, lots of banter,
usual Friday night fun stuff - until we went to a club.
Standind in the queue for a while, we became a little restless - it was bloody cold, and we had the usual student t*ssers jumping into the queue in front of us etc. Not a problem, though. We were calm, having a good laugh and catching up (the other bro is based overseas at the mo).
What really irked me though, were the 2 guys behind me who didn't appear to have any concept of personal space. One of them KEPT touching my back by accident. I think he was rolling a ciggie, and he kept nudging me with his elbow, grazing against me with his arm etc.
I turned roud a couple of times - not agressively - just looked him in the eye, as if to say, "Oh phew, it's just you accidentally knocking into me. I thought it might be some scrote trying to pinch my wallet, but you're a harmless student." This happened again, until on the 3rd time when I couldn't take it any longer (and probably the 10th time he'd touched me), I turned to said students.
"I'm sure you are both very nice guys, but do you think you could take a step back? You keep touching me and it's getting on my tits a bit, if I'm honest. Cheers"
Now I didn't think this was particularly contrived, petulant, unpleasant or unwarranted. But before I had a chance to turn back to my chums (assuming they would say sorry, and stop touching me), they both launched into a tirade of "Alright man, chill out", "What's your problem?", "Jesus, what a t
t", "F*cking hell, man" etc. 
I was amazed. I didn't really know what to do, so I turned back to my bros and continued with my conversation. They continued with their tut-tutting behind me which annoyed me no end. I span round and jabbed my finger into the chest of one of them, and leant into him, so our faces were pretty close.
"You haven't handled this at all well, my friend.
Just take a step back or I'll break your f@cking face. OK?"
They half-heartedly whinged, but did actually take a step back. "Thanks," I said.
I saw them inside the club about an hour later, by which time they were boozed up, good and proper. I stood next to them at the bar, and they actually told the barman to serve me first. Good boys!
What struck me was - why did they object so much to a simple request? Why did they feel they ought to have a go at ME, for something that they had initiated? Would you get all agressive if someone asked you to stop touching them? How did they know that I wouldn't lamp them? How did they know that I wouldn't stab them in the eye with a screwdriver? Do Oxford-eduated students have any common sense?
F*cking idiots. And I was with 2 brothers, all 3 of us are 6'4", and weigh about 17st. Each. What kn*bs. Grrr.
Was I unreasonable? Honest opinions, pls.
, lots of banter, usual Friday night fun stuff - until we went to a club. Standind in the queue for a while, we became a little restless - it was bloody cold, and we had the usual student t*ssers jumping into the queue in front of us etc. Not a problem, though. We were calm, having a good laugh and catching up (the other bro is based overseas at the mo).
What really irked me though, were the 2 guys behind me who didn't appear to have any concept of personal space. One of them KEPT touching my back by accident. I think he was rolling a ciggie, and he kept nudging me with his elbow, grazing against me with his arm etc.
I turned roud a couple of times - not agressively - just looked him in the eye, as if to say, "Oh phew, it's just you accidentally knocking into me. I thought it might be some scrote trying to pinch my wallet, but you're a harmless student." This happened again, until on the 3rd time when I couldn't take it any longer (and probably the 10th time he'd touched me), I turned to said students. "I'm sure you are both very nice guys, but do you think you could take a step back? You keep touching me and it's getting on my tits a bit, if I'm honest. Cheers"
Now I didn't think this was particularly contrived, petulant, unpleasant or unwarranted. But before I had a chance to turn back to my chums (assuming they would say sorry, and stop touching me), they both launched into a tirade of "Alright man, chill out", "What's your problem?", "Jesus, what a t
t", "F*cking hell, man" etc. I was amazed. I didn't really know what to do, so I turned back to my bros and continued with my conversation. They continued with their tut-tutting behind me which annoyed me no end. I span round and jabbed my finger into the chest of one of them, and leant into him, so our faces were pretty close.
"You haven't handled this at all well, my friend.
Just take a step back or I'll break your f@cking face. OK?" They half-heartedly whinged, but did actually take a step back. "Thanks," I said.
I saw them inside the club about an hour later, by which time they were boozed up, good and proper. I stood next to them at the bar, and they actually told the barman to serve me first. Good boys!
What struck me was - why did they object so much to a simple request? Why did they feel they ought to have a go at ME, for something that they had initiated? Would you get all agressive if someone asked you to stop touching them? How did they know that I wouldn't lamp them? How did they know that I wouldn't stab them in the eye with a screwdriver? Do Oxford-eduated students have any common sense?
F*cking idiots. And I was with 2 brothers, all 3 of us are 6'4", and weigh about 17st. Each. What kn*bs. Grrr.
Was I unreasonable? Honest opinions, pls.
I should go and have a nice cup of tea mate 
Seriously, when people have been on the pop you can't predict what they'll do - the most placid and quiet person might turn into a loon and take a swing. These days if I'm out at night I try to keep myself to myself. FWIW I think your first statement was a bit aggressive - I might have kept it to "Excuse me mate, would you mind giving me a bit of room, you keep knocking my back - cheers!" with a grin. Unless they were knuckledraggers in which case I'd leave it, just not worth it. No actually, I'd go home because I have no desire to be in a club with people like that!
Seriously, when people have been on the pop you can't predict what they'll do - the most placid and quiet person might turn into a loon and take a swing. These days if I'm out at night I try to keep myself to myself. FWIW I think your first statement was a bit aggressive - I might have kept it to "Excuse me mate, would you mind giving me a bit of room, you keep knocking my back - cheers!" with a grin. Unless they were knuckledraggers in which case I'd leave it, just not worth it. No actually, I'd go home because I have no desire to be in a club with people like that!
TBH I think you were a bit too aggressive. It's true that after a few beers a lot of unwritten social rules are broken (such as personal space), but IMO it was wrong to threaten violence. Perhaps they were being pushed from behind as well... You seem most upset that these guys weren't intimidated by the physical menace of your group, which is odd.
Rather aggressive IMO.
If someone inadvertently invades my space like that, I simply inadvertently invade theirs in the same "accidental" manner - e.g. just accentuate arm movements when putting hand in pockets, etc. They soon step back, nothing is said and eveyone knowingly understands.
If someone inadvertently invades my space like that, I simply inadvertently invade theirs in the same "accidental" manner - e.g. just accentuate arm movements when putting hand in pockets, etc. They soon step back, nothing is said and eveyone knowingly understands.
If you're into clubbing;
http://pages.sbcglobal.net/bryanbaskin/clubbing.html
Edited to add - EXTREMELY BAD TASTE
>> Edited by rsvmilly on Monday 14th March 15:35
http://pages.sbcglobal.net/bryanbaskin/clubbing.html
Edited to add - EXTREMELY BAD TASTE
>> Edited by rsvmilly on Monday 14th March 15:35
lotuslad said:
TBH I think you were a bit too aggressive. It's true that after a few beers a lot of unwritten social rules are broken (such as personal space), but IMO it was wrong to threaten violence. Perhaps they were being pushed from behind as well... You seem most upset that these guys weren't intimidated by the physical menace of your group, which is odd.
They were the ones being agressive, he asked realtively politely first, got a load of grief and nipped it it the bud quickly. Simple, easy.
lotuslad said:
TBH I think you were a bit too aggressive. It's true that after a few beers a lot of unwritten social rules are broken (such as personal space), but IMO it was wrong to threaten violence. Perhaps they were being pushed from behind as well... You seem most upset that these guys weren't intimidated by the physical menace of your group, which is odd.
fair call. Wasn't upset that they weren't intimidated, just making the point that if I had been in THEIR position (i.e 2 -v- 3, with guys much bigger than us), I would have shut up, taken a step back, and said sorry - probably in a jokey, smiley way.
Which has happened!
I had an incident happen to me just before Christmas when I was out with some people from work.
A couple of days before Christmas in Newcastle, traditionally all the guys that work in any building sites, factories and the yards go out for an all day bender. This is fine by me, but usual there is always one t**t who wants to have a go at anyone in a suit, who is out on the drink too.
This year it was my turn. A guy in his late forties just stood and stared at me standing at the bar with my workmates. It was obvious to everyone he was staring at me, but I just continued to sip my drink.(This is at 2pm)
I could even hear this guy calling me everything to his mate, to which his mate was telling him to shut up and clam down.
Anyway I thought I have to options make a joke of it and it might calm this down or ask what his problem was.
I decided to do both and said to the guy across the bar “What you looking at? Have I got a pie on me head?” (Pronounced Heed)
My mates laughed and so did his, this only made him more p***ed off with me. He stormed over calling me a c**t and I just told him to calm down, unless he wanted me to embarrass him in front of his mates. His mates dragged him out laughing and said he had been drinking all day and was wrecked!
Anyway no harm done in the end, but some people would let that go and leave the bar!
>> Edited by The GMan on Monday 14th March 16:30
A couple of days before Christmas in Newcastle, traditionally all the guys that work in any building sites, factories and the yards go out for an all day bender. This is fine by me, but usual there is always one t**t who wants to have a go at anyone in a suit, who is out on the drink too.
This year it was my turn. A guy in his late forties just stood and stared at me standing at the bar with my workmates. It was obvious to everyone he was staring at me, but I just continued to sip my drink.(This is at 2pm)
I could even hear this guy calling me everything to his mate, to which his mate was telling him to shut up and clam down.
Anyway I thought I have to options make a joke of it and it might calm this down or ask what his problem was.
I decided to do both and said to the guy across the bar “What you looking at? Have I got a pie on me head?” (Pronounced Heed)
My mates laughed and so did his, this only made him more p***ed off with me. He stormed over calling me a c**t and I just told him to calm down, unless he wanted me to embarrass him in front of his mates. His mates dragged him out laughing and said he had been drinking all day and was wrecked!
Anyway no harm done in the end, but some people would let that go and leave the bar!
>> Edited by The GMan on Monday 14th March 16:30
If someone's pushing against me in a tightly-packed queue, I just strengthen my nearest arm, so if they do lurch into me they'll get my unmoving elbow. I don't have to move myself, they just can't move me, if you see where I'm coming from.
We have a similar problem in a little club called Ziggy's in York - on Wednesdays (stoodent night) within about 5 minutes of opening, the queue will be about 5-wide and all the way up Micklegate, and the bouncers are notoriously strict about pushing in at the front, but at the back it's a free for all.
Just give as good as you get but don't get agressive about it - just stand your ground, seems to work for me.
We have a similar problem in a little club called Ziggy's in York - on Wednesdays (stoodent night) within about 5 minutes of opening, the queue will be about 5-wide and all the way up Micklegate, and the bouncers are notoriously strict about pushing in at the front, but at the back it's a free for all.
Just give as good as you get but don't get agressive about it - just stand your ground, seems to work for me.
v8thunder said:
If someone's pushing against me in a tightly-packed queue, I just strengthen my nearest arm, so if they do lurch into me they'll get my unmoving elbow. I don't have to move myself, they just can't move me, if you see where I'm coming from.
We have a similar problem in a little club called Ziggy's in York - on Wednesdays (stoodent night) within about 5 minutes of opening, the queue will be about 5-wide and all the way up Micklegate, and the bouncers are notoriously strict about pushing in at the front, but at the back it's a free for all.
Just give as good as you get but don't get agressive about it - just stand your ground, seems to work for me.
Ah Ziggy's!! I have had many a fight in the Gallery!
too. Is Kite's still on the go? I use to work in York and have not been since I changed jobs!!
The GMan said:
If someone's pushing against me in a tightly-packed queue, I just strengthen my nearest arm, so if they do lurch into me they'll get my unmoving elbow. I don't have to move myself, they just can't move me, if you see where I'm coming from.
We have a similar problem in a little club called Ziggy's in York - on Wednesdays (stoodent night) within about 5 minutes of opening, the queue will be about 5-wide and all the way up Micklegate, and the bouncers are notoriously strict about pushing in at the front, but at the back it's a free for all.
Just give as good as you get but don't get agressive about it - just stand your ground, seems to work for me.
Ah Ziggy's!! I have had many a fight in the Gallery!
too. Is Kite's still on the go? I use to work in York and have not been since I changed jobs!!
Kite's? Never heard of it. I know the Gallery was called 'Silk' before I got here, so for all I know Toff's used to be called Kite's.
Ikon/Diva's been shut down, and sold off to be half a homebase, the other half a casino. Fibber's (the live music place on Stonebow) becomes a club on weekends now, and I hear another one's planned somewhere in the centre of town.
There's a new-ish bar called Nexus that might as well be a club (one of those new-style bars which looks like a bar inside, with a late licence till the same time as the other clubs, yet for some reason has a tiny, uninhabited dancefloor, lighting effects and music on so loud it makes your ears bleed, therefore completely compromising its status as either a club or a bar - why?
Depends what club in Oxford it was!
I'm not really aquainted with Oxford very much, but about 2 weeks ago I did have the opportunity (!!!) to go up there to say with some friends for the weekend (2 are at Brookes and 3 at Oxford) and grabbed the opportunity to see my elder brother who lives in Headington.
I was only tnere for 3 nights, but you do learn pretty soon where to go and where to avoid! We headed down to Park End on the Saturday night (oh my good god that club is ROUGH!) After at LEAST 6 fights in so many minutes, they bought dancers in pink fluffy boots out. Hasty departure. I found most in there to be extremely...'rough' without generalising too much, so if you experienced all this down there it wouldn't surprise me at all! Yet when we headed to The Bridge i found it a much more pleasant place to be!
I'm not really aquainted with Oxford very much, but about 2 weeks ago I did have the opportunity (!!!) to go up there to say with some friends for the weekend (2 are at Brookes and 3 at Oxford) and grabbed the opportunity to see my elder brother who lives in Headington.
I was only tnere for 3 nights, but you do learn pretty soon where to go and where to avoid! We headed down to Park End on the Saturday night (oh my good god that club is ROUGH!) After at LEAST 6 fights in so many minutes, they bought dancers in pink fluffy boots out. Hasty departure. I found most in there to be extremely...'rough' without generalising too much, so if you experienced all this down there it wouldn't surprise me at all! Yet when we headed to The Bridge i found it a much more pleasant place to be!
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