Emotional eating disorder advice?

[twoblacklines]

So I posted this as a reply but it is better off in its own thread.

I have major major problems with emotional eating. I have done a fair few drugs growing up (sober for over 7 years now) and...I gave up soft drugs cold turkey easily, I gave up smoking twice, 3 years so far, cold turkey, easy. But I can't give up binge eating sugary stuff no matter what I do.

It is so bad for me that when I have no money on me I have considered shop lifting for a mars bar.

I can't find anyone who can help me and the thought of suicide has come around quite a few times. I have been overweight / obese since I was 16 and I am now 30, lost 80lb in one go but it slowly came back, because of course the root problem is still there.

For me, it was trauma from being bullied to the point where I tried to kill myself and got "rescued" by a staff member at the boarding school I was at... I used to associate the only good feelings in those 6 years of my life with eating chocolate etc...the weekends would be spent watching modded cars drive around Plymouth whilst eating chocolate or cookies. Back then this didn't matter, super fast metabolic rate, always active, playing rugby etc. But as soon as that stopped the weight piled on.

I am exceptionally tall but overweight, I could be so much more but I just can't stop rushing to a Mars bar whenever life doesn't go to plan...which is daily.

I haven't been this honest, and I feel like a loser posting this, people think "its just food" but for me its like trying to come off heroin when surrounded by heroin.

Everywhere you go you can buy unhealthy stuff, try doing keto diet and finding 0 carb stuff in petrol stations? Impossible.

I swear one day I will just end it all.

I have so far tried....

meditation - this I do daily, doesn't help.
CBT therapy - did nothing.
hypnotherapy with the best guy in the UK - this actually worked...then wore off 2-3 months later. At £1k a pop and 700 mile round journey, it is too inconvienient to keep going. Also noticed that none of the follow ups worked like the first session. However it did make me more spiritual, a better person in other ways, and set me down a path in life where I discovered ninja marketing, meditation, spirituality etc. Just hasn't fixed the main problem. I lost that 80lb after the first session.

Running out of ideas. Never tried to kill myself yet but have had the knife out, know to cut down not across etc.
Emotional eating SUCKS and people who don't do it will never know how bad it is.

Does anyone have any advice?

Does anyone know any actual counsellors JUST FOR THIS disorder that work, in the NW, Chester area?

Thank you

[davepoth]

Did you try exercise? As well as helping with the weight it is proven to be of benefit for depression too.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depr...

Even if it is just going for a long walk, it'll help.

[twoblacklines]

Yeah, I try and walk every day. I am quite fit now, I don't get out of breathe atleast not like you would think a 330lb person would.

[grumbledoak]

Sugar is addictive. If we defined "drug" objectively as "an addictive, harmful compound" the list would include sugar. You need to treat it that way.

It sounds like you are strong enough to make cold turkey work. Do that again, this time with sugar. You can expect to feel rough for a couple of weeks.


Good luck. There's no luck involved - All the best.

[Riley Blue]

You haven't mentioned whether you've seen your GP but it could be worth it, especially as you seem to have strong will power and are able to go cold turkey to achieve an aim. Your surgery, if it's like mine, will have a dietician who can advise on a suitable diet personalised for you rather than 'cut out all sugar'. The other thing I would suggest is acupuncture which can be used for diet supression.

[Pieman68]

It's a tough place to be OP, and something with which I am familiar. People who are not in your position will find it very difficult to comprehend and just tell you to eat less and exercise more.

I am 41 and over 20 stone. Was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes about 5 years ago. I run, play rugby and work full time.

I have a food addiction. The irony being that I am addicted to something that I cannot give up completely as I need it to keep me alive. I can find the motivation to exercise (have done 2 half marathons at 19 stone plus) and shed a couple of stones but the overbearing thoughts of food are there and once I lose focus the weight creeps back on. I secret eat. I eat in the car when I am on my own. I fantasise about what shops I can stop at and what food I can buy to eat before I get home for my evening meal. I make bad food choices on impulse. I eat quickly and without portion control. I eat when not hungry, when bored and when emotional.

My GPs have always been very much the "Eat less, exercise more" mentality. I have never been offered anything other than this advice. I am currently seeing a counsellor of my own accord to try and overcome this as I cannot do it alone! I was bullied as a child and built up a wall of self-deprecating humour and the persona of "Big Steve" - outwardly jolly and happy and the first to take the piss out of myself (in reality this is the defence mechanism as if I make the joke first there is nowhere for others to go with it). The problem being that in doing this, subconsciously I am afraid to lose the weight as I think that my personality and popularity will go along with it.

[Foliage]

twoblacklines said:

Everywhere you go you can buy unhealthy stuff, try doing keto diet and finding 0 carb stuff in petrol stations? Impossible.

I'm tough and a cock, just putting that out there.

What ive quoted stands out for me, you seem incapable of behaving like a rational person, being prepared, you need to pull you finger out of your arse, sort your st out, eat proper meals, think ahead and prepare meals ahead of time, that's what successful people do. How hard is it to keep a piece of fruit or a bag of nuts in your car with a bottle of tap water, make a salad for lunch before you head out for the day. Make soup, make a big pot of chilli, pasta sauce? You can even make your own donna kebabs if you so wish, all quick and easy stuff to do. But you need to plan ahead not just

What other action do successful people take that perhaps you don't? perhaps make them a part of your life?

Why are you emotional? your on a downward spiral, small steps, positive attitude will help you, you can do this you did it before.

[MYOB]

I'm probably not as bad as some of you but nearly every night I have severe craving for sugar based crap, eg, chocolate or crisps. And I eat a lot! I know it's bad for my health and I need to stop.

However, I know I have to work hard to keep on top of my weight. I don't snack in day time, I eat healthy meals, and I exercise everyday.

I'm 6ft, and once my weight ballooned up to almost 16 stones, I started exercising. I'm now 12.5 stones and have maintained that over the years. Exercise to burn off the excess calories!

My wife marvels at the amount of crap I eat without putting on the weight! But like I said, I exercise hard.

Edited by MYOB on Wednesday 2nd November 12:28

[twoblacklines]

Pieman68 said:

It's a tough place to be OP, and something with which I am familiar. People who are not in your position will find it very difficult to comprehend and just tell you to eat less and exercise more.

I am 41 and over 20 stone. Was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes about 5 years ago. I run, play rugby and work full time.

I have a food addiction. The irony being that I am addicted to something that I cannot give up completely as I need it to keep me alive. I can find the motivation to exercise (have done 2 half marathons at 19 stone plus) and shed a couple of stones but the overbearing thoughts of food are there and once I lose focus the weight creeps back on. I secret eat. I eat in the car when I am on my own. I fantasise about what shops I can stop at and what food I can buy to eat before I get home for my evening meal. I make bad food choices on impulse. I eat quickly and without portion control. I eat when not hungry, when bored and when emotional.

My GPs have always been very much the "Eat less, exercise more" mentality. I have never been offered anything other than this advice. I am currently seeing a counsellor of my own accord to try and overcome this as I cannot do it alone! I was bullied as a child and built up a wall of self-deprecating humour and the persona of "Big Steve" - outwardly jolly and happy and the first to take the piss out of myself (in reality this is the defence mechanism as if I make the joke first there is nowhere for others to go with it). The problem being that in doing this, subconsciously I am afraid to lose the weight as I think that my personality and popularity will go along with it.

Sorry to hear that, though it is quite relieving to hear that someone else has almost the exact same situation as me? I get the same, dreaming of what I can eat and from where. It got so bad yesturday that, on the way back from walking the dog I stopped off and consumed 150g of carbs in one go... the ironic part is it was near tea time and I was about 1 mile from home. Just couldn't not do it?

The counsellor I did have told me that I am overweight because I am tall - that I don't want to get positive attention - so I keep myself overweight so women etc show no interest. I can believe this, because when I do manage to lose the weight I get a lot of attention and I hate it.

Here is a pic of me taken just a few weeks ago, 330lb but due to my height I still get attention :/



The sad thing is I both crave human contact but hate human contact, it is like I prefer the idea of it than the reality :/

[Pieman68]

twoblacklines said:

It got so bad yesturday that, on the way back from walking the dog I stopped off and consumed 150g of carbs in one go... the ironic part is it was near tea time and I was about 1 mile from home. Just couldn't not do it?

Yep, that's something I do as well, eating in the car on the way home from work whilst knowing that my evening meal is on the table when I get there.

I know that it's easy to say but don't be so hard on yourself. If you're like me then you will feel the need to eat to make yourself feel better, whilst almost immediately then being overcome by a self loathing for eating which brings on more negative emotions that you then try to overcome with food - which then perpetuates and creates a ripple effect.

[blindswelledrat]

Why do you want to give up sugary stuff?
Are you mortified about being fat? Is that what this issue is?
I am a bit confused as to the gap in what you've told us between liking sugary stuff and thinking about suicide.
Along with the talk of craving/hating human contact it sounds like the eating is an irrelevant side effect of a different mental problem rather than the cause of it, or am I misreading this?

[hairyben]

Focussing too hard on a disorder-specific counseler isnt the right thing as most cover a wider scope, as like most people you'll have a range of issues that interelate.

As for weight loss, first of all if you're referencing bmi throw it in the bin where it belongs, if you're bigger framed its simply not relevent and a disgrace that such an acknowledged inappropiate tool is hawked so much in medial circles.

Most diets take planning and prep, you cant just expect to find what you need wherever you are, lo carb in particular is amazingly shunned by retail but stuff is out there, online etc. Can work though, Ive lost over 20lb in a couple of months and thats breaking it with treats at weekends. (8-12 pints over 2-3 days, a meal or two like curry etc) Its finding a balence of the treats you cant live without, enjoying them and compromising everywhere else.

Other than that set smaller targets, 3 or 5lbs or whatever works rather than see the whole task.

[TurboHatchback]

I would recommend doing two things:

• Go cold turkey on sugar and refined carbs. They are addictive but the cycle can be broken, it simply takes willpower.
• Start lifting weights, ideally a program of heavy compound lifting. It burns a huge amount of calories, it builds muscle and hugely increases your basal metabolic rate (your base level of calorie burn). More than that it makes you feel great, gives you a positive emotional release method instead of eating and once you start seeing the changes you won't want to stop or ruin your progress with piles of sugar.

[anonymous-user]

twoblacklines said:

So I posted this as a reply but it is better off in its own thread.

I have major major problems with emotional eating. I have done a fair few drugs growing up (sober for over 7 years now) and...I gave up soft drugs cold turkey easily, I gave up smoking twice, 3 years so far, cold turkey, easy. But I can't give up binge eating sugary stuff no matter what I do.

It is so bad for me that when I have no money on me I have considered shop lifting for a mars bar.

I can't find anyone who can help me and the thought of suicide has come around quite a few times. I have been overweight / obese since I was 16 and I am now 30, lost 80lb in one go but it slowly came back, because of course the root problem is still there.

For me, it was trauma from being bullied to the point where I tried to kill myself and got "rescued" by a staff member at the boarding school I was at... I used to associate the only good feelings in those 6 years of my life with eating chocolate etc...the weekends would be spent watching modded cars drive around Plymouth whilst eating chocolate or cookies. Back then this didn't matter, super fast metabolic rate, always active, playing rugby etc. But as soon as that stopped the weight piled on.

I am exceptionally tall but overweight, I could be so much more but I just can't stop rushing to a Mars bar whenever life doesn't go to plan...which is daily.

I haven't been this honest, and I feel like a loser posting this, people think "its just food" but for me its like trying to come off heroin when surrounded by heroin.

Everywhere you go you can buy unhealthy stuff, try doing keto diet and finding 0 carb stuff in petrol stations? Impossible.

I swear one day I will just end it all.

I have so far tried....

meditation - this I do daily, doesn't help.
CBT therapy - did nothing.
hypnotherapy with the best guy in the UK - this actually worked...then wore off 2-3 months later. At £1k a pop and 700 mile round journey, it is too inconvienient to keep going. Also noticed that none of the follow ups worked like the first session. However it did make me more spiritual, a better person in other ways, and set me down a path in life where I discovered ninja marketing, meditation, spirituality etc. Just hasn't fixed the main problem. I lost that 80lb after the first session.

Running out of ideas. Never tried to kill myself yet but have had the knife out, know to cut down not across etc.
Emotional eating SUCKS and people who don't do it will never know how bad it is.

Does anyone have any advice?

Does anyone know any actual counsellors JUST FOR THIS disorder that work, in the NW, Chester area?

Thank you

Sorry to hear you are struggling.

The reason nothing is working for you is due to the fact it is not the eating that is the issue.

Many people have problems which are a direct result of something that has happened in the past to them. The issues is actually not the issue. It is the past trauma.

Eating for you is a comfort. When you feel low you eat to feel better. Unfortunately sugar only makes you feel better for a short time before you need more to get that hit again.

Dealing with the past trauma and being able to understand what was going on for you at that moment in time will give you a better understanding of why you feel this way and why your natural reaction is to grab a sugar treat.

You have mentioned that you had drugs in the past and this is highly common. If not drugs it can be drink. People want to escape from the feeling they have so they self medicate. The drugs and drink give release for a while but the issues come back so they take more. Just like your eating.

Now do not feel stupid or ashamed about disclosing what you have to us all. That takes guts and you need to give yourself a pat on the back for taking this step.

You would not believe the amount of people trying to get help. People you would think have an amazing life but are struggling on the inside. So do not think you are different because you are feeling this way. You are just struggling due to past issues which can be addressed.

Remember you are not alone.

If you have any questions I would be happy to help. I am busy just now but I will respond.

Edited by anonymous-user on Friday 4th November 18:39

[Pieman68]

ELUSIVEJIM said:

Sorry to hear you are struggling.

The reason nothing is working for you is due to the fact it is not the eating that is the issue.

Many people have problems which are a direct result of something that has happened in the past to them. The issues is actually not the issue. It is the past trauma.

Eating for you is a comfort. When you feel low you eat to feel better. Unfortunately sugar only makes you feel better for a short time before you need move to get that hit again.

Dealing with the past trauma and being able to understand what was going on for you at that moment in time will give you a better understanding of why you feel this way and why your natural reaction is to grab a sugar treat.

You have mentioned that you had drugs in the past and this is highly common. If not drugs it can be drink. People want to escape from the feeling they have so they self medicate. The drugs and drink give release for a while but the issues come back so they take more. Just like your eating.

Now do not feel stupid or ashamed about disclosing what you have to us all. That takes guts and you need to give yourself a pat on the back for taking this step.

You would not believe the amount of people trying to get help. People you would think have an amazing life but are struggling on the inside. So do not think you are different because you are feeling this way. You are just struggling due to past issues which can be addressed.

Remember you are not alone.

If you have any questions I would be happy to help. I am busy just now but I will respond.

Edited by ELUSIVEJIM on Friday 4th November 14:56

Edited by ELUSIVEJIM on Friday 4th November 14:59

Very much this! Through the counselling that I am doing I have uncovered a lot of stuff stemming back to my early teens. Although from a loving home with great parents there are elements from back then that caused me to start secret eating. The self destructive and rebellious behaviour started back then which caused me to lose focus and motivation around A-level time and I under achieved on these before going to university and failing spectacularly.

I have lived with the guilt of feeling like I have let my parents down to this day and this causes self-destructive and highly self-critical behaviour and "mood swings" to some extent. The desire to chase success has led to me moving jobs in order to try and achieve it, but at the same time I am then overcome by self doubt when in a position to become more successful which causes a loss in motivation until I put myself in a difficult position, at which point I give up and go and find another job.

All of this was unspoken until the last couple of months where I have become more mindful through the help that I am getting. Early days so far but the coping mechanisms that I am learning are starting to make a difference in my mentality. The physical changes are the next step once I improve my mental wellbeing!

How about giving yourself a challenge to help motivate? I have found that a physical challenge made public (say sponsorship for charity) makes me accountable and "forces" me to motivate. I have recently signed up for 2 half marathons and a full marathon next year so I have to get off my arse and get moving!

[twoblacklines]

Pieman68 said:

Very much this! Through the counselling that I am doing I have uncovered a lot of stuff stemming back to my early teens. Although from a loving home with great parents there are elements from back then that caused me to start secret eating. The self destructive and rebellious behaviour started back then which caused me to lose focus and motivation around A-level time and I under achieved on these before going to university and failing spectacularly.

I have lived with the guilt of feeling like I have let my parents down to this day and this causes self-destructive and highly self-critical behaviour and "mood swings" to some extent. The desire to chase success has led to me moving jobs in order to try and achieve it, but at the same time I am then overcome by self doubt when in a position to become more successful which causes a loss in motivation until I put myself in a difficult position, at which point I give up and go and find another job.

All of this was unspoken until the last couple of months where I have become more mindful through the help that I am getting. Early days so far but the coping mechanisms that I am learning are starting to make a difference in my mentality. The physical changes are the next step once I improve my mental wellbeing!

How about giving yourself a challenge to help motivate? I have found that a physical challenge made public (say sponsorship for charity) makes me accountable and "forces" me to motivate. I have recently signed up for 2 half marathons and a full marathon next year so I have to get off my arse and get moving!

May I ask what type of counselling (so I can get it too?) Thank you

[twoblacklines]

ELUSIVEJIM said:

Sorry to hear you are struggling.

The reason nothing is working for you is due to the fact it is not the eating that is the issue.

Many people have problems which are a direct result of something that has happened in the past to them. The issues is actually not the issue. It is the past trauma.

Eating for you is a comfort. When you feel low you eat to feel better. Unfortunately sugar only makes you feel better for a short time before you need more to get that hit again.

Dealing with the past trauma and being able to understand what was going on for you at that moment in time will give you a better understanding of why you feel this way and why your natural reaction is to grab a sugar treat.

You have mentioned that you had drugs in the past and this is highly common. If not drugs it can be drink. People want to escape from the feeling they have so they self medicate. The drugs and drink give release for a while but the issues come back so they take more. Just like your eating.

Now do not feel stupid or ashamed about disclosing what you have to us all. That takes guts and you need to give yourself a pat on the back for taking this step.

You would not believe the amount of people trying to get help. People you would think have an amazing life but are struggling on the inside. So do not think you are different because you are feeling this way. You are just struggling due to past issues which can be addressed.

Remember you are not alone.

If you have any questions I would be happy to help. I am busy just now but I will respond.

Edited by ELUSIVEJIM on Friday 4th November 18:39

Thank you

If drugs were available to me now I would probably take them, in moderation, it would be nice to get away from reality for a bit. I do that currently by meditating but my back aching stops that, I can't do long sits. I would love to do something like Vispannasa (sp?) where you sit in silence for 3 days but my back just won't let that happen due to overweight + bad posture + dyspraxia :/

[anonymous-user]

twoblacklines said:

Thank you

If drugs were available to me now I would probably take them, in moderation, it would be nice to get away from reality for a bit. I do that currently by meditating but my back aching stops that, I can't do long sits. I would love to do something like Vispannasa (sp?) where you sit in silence for 3 days but my back just won't let that happen due to overweight + bad posture + dyspraxia :/

Drugs will take away the pain at this moment but the issues will just be there in the morning.

You do not want to have to rely on taking something to make you feel better. What you need is some guidance and shown the ways forward so that you can figure out what has to be done so that you can get on with your life.

I have people coming to me for treatments for back pain or other issues but after a few sessions it is clear they are struggling emotionally. The back pain you are experiencing could well be emotional stress causing the back to be sore. When you are stress and anxious the body goes into flight or fight mode. This makes the body very tense and you will start to get sore.

Perhaps you are also feeling exhausted on a daily basis. Again this is tension. You would be amazed how stress can make people ill or even lead to more serious problems.

The brain is a very powerful tool. What you need to do is make the brain be a powerful assist to you rather than a power burden.

Again if you want to talk just reply on here.

[DukeDickson]

ELUSIVEJIM said:

twoblacklines said:

So I posted this as a reply but it is better off in its own thread.

I have major major problems with emotional eating. I have done a fair few drugs growing up (sober for over 7 years now) and...I gave up soft drugs cold turkey easily, I gave up smoking twice, 3 years so far, cold turkey, easy. But I can't give up binge eating sugary stuff no matter what I do.

It is so bad for me that when I have no money on me I have considered shop lifting for a mars bar.

I can't find anyone who can help me and the thought of suicide has come around quite a few times. I have been overweight / obese since I was 16 and I am now 30, lost 80lb in one go but it slowly came back, because of course the root problem is still there.

For me, it was trauma from being bullied to the point where I tried to kill myself and got "rescued" by a staff member at the boarding school I was at... I used to associate the only good feelings in those 6 years of my life with eating chocolate etc...the weekends would be spent watching modded cars drive around Plymouth whilst eating chocolate or cookies. Back then this didn't matter, super fast metabolic rate, always active, playing rugby etc. But as soon as that stopped the weight piled on.

I am exceptionally tall but overweight, I could be so much more but I just can't stop rushing to a Mars bar whenever life doesn't go to plan...which is daily.

I haven't been this honest, and I feel like a loser posting this, people think "its just food" but for me its like trying to come off heroin when surrounded by heroin.

Everywhere you go you can buy unhealthy stuff, try doing keto diet and finding 0 carb stuff in petrol stations? Impossible.

I swear one day I will just end it all.

I have so far tried....

meditation - this I do daily, doesn't help.
CBT therapy - did nothing.
hypnotherapy with the best guy in the UK - this actually worked...then wore off 2-3 months later. At £1k a pop and 700 mile round journey, it is too inconvienient to keep going. Also noticed that none of the follow ups worked like the first session. However it did make me more spiritual, a better person in other ways, and set me down a path in life where I discovered ninja marketing, meditation, spirituality etc. Just hasn't fixed the main problem. I lost that 80lb after the first session.

Running out of ideas. Never tried to kill myself yet but have had the knife out, know to cut down not across etc.
Emotional eating SUCKS and people who don't do it will never know how bad it is.

Does anyone have any advice?

Does anyone know any actual counsellors JUST FOR THIS disorder that work, in the NW, Chester area?

Thank you

Sorry to hear you are struggling.

The reason nothing is working for you is due to the fact it is not the eating that is the issue.

Many people have problems which are a direct result of something that has happened in the past to them. The issues is actually not the issue. It is the past trauma.

Eating for you is a comfort. When you feel low you eat to feel better. Unfortunately sugar only makes you feel better for a short time before you need more to get that hit again.

Dealing with the past trauma and being able to understand what was going on for you at that moment in time will give you a better understanding of why you feel this way and why your natural reaction is to grab a sugar treat.

You have mentioned that you had drugs in the past and this is highly common. If not drugs it can be drink. People want to escape from the feeling they have so they self medicate. The drugs and drink give release for a while but the issues come back so they take more. Just like your eating.

Now do not feel stupid or ashamed about disclosing what you have to us all. That takes guts and you need to give yourself a pat on the back for taking this step.

You would not believe the amount of people trying to get help. People you would think have an amazing life but are struggling on the inside. So do not think you are different because you are feeling this way. You are just struggling due to past issues which can be addressed.

Remember you are not alone.

If you have any questions I would be happy to help. I am busy just now but I will respond.

Edited by ELUSIVEJIM on Friday 4th November 18:39

There's a whole heap of truth in this.


You need to work out what really makes you eat lots of crap.

You might need to hit your rock bottom.

You then need to find what combination of diet (portion sizes and not just what) & exercise works for you.


Oh, and some good old fashioned determination to change

[Ilovejapcrap]

ELUSIVEJIM said:

Now do not feel stupid or ashamed about disclosing what you have to us all. That takes guts and you need to give yourself a pat on the back for taking this step.

Edited by ELUSIVEJIM on Friday 4th November 18:39

Well said