An Itch, a Mid Life Crisis or too high expectations?
Discussion
So over the last 10 years I've had a pretty stable work history. 3 jobs. 3 years, 2 years and latterly 5 years.
In the summer of this year I started to get itchy feet. Where I worked, was IMO starting to go downhill in terms of atmosphere. (wont bore with details) So after a speculative approach from an agent. And a handful of interviews (of which I was offered a place by 8/9 employers!
) I left. On as good as terms as possible. Since you never know the future.
Went to job 1. Better money, better on the CV. But longer commute. However, turned out after 2 weeks. From talking to people on the ground, that it was a severe exaggeration on many aspects by the interviewer. (who incidentally ignored me for the first 3 weeks!) Tried to stick it out. But whilst the commute was utterly painful some days. I would have been OK with it if everything else was as described in the interviews. But it wasn't and it wasn't likely to be, judging from the existing employees comments and proof
So I had another 3 or 4 interviews. Was far more critical in the interviews. Asked probing questions. Again, got offers from all of them. But this one stood out. He didn't appear to be BSing me. Slight pay cut, (grand) but again OTE was projected as on a par to higher. Slightly shorter commute. So against my better judgement took a punt.
Of course new Job 2 is actually WORSE in reality than New job 1. It's such a large employer (twice the size) and realistically it's too big as it's so disorganised. I spent 45 mins the other day wasting time because their systems/procedures are so cack handed! Why can't they just be honest! Saves me wasting their time as much as mine! I actually feel out of my depth, and of course I'm genuinely devastated that this is ruining my CV with all the chop and changing!!!
Plus I've successfully negotiated a 5K OTE pay cut from where I was a few months back! GENIUS! 
Had a chat with couple friends. And they've informally put my name about. And already had an old manger let me know (via that friend) that if I want to work for him I can start tomorrow. Another manager that I met, but never worked for has asked me to call him with a view to a chat. And of course I daresay I could potentially go back to where I was 5 months ago. But my pride won't let me, and I daresay it wont have changed from how bad it was anyway. (Theres been a bit of an exodus, but the s
t stirrers are still there and the manager can't deal with them effectively) TBF I know exactly what will be expected of me in these 3 jobs. And 2 of them I've visited before and are far closer commuting than where I've been of late. So they are pretty safe options.
BUT
In the back of my mind I'm wondering if the problem is actually me though. Am I having the standard mid life crisis of career. I shan't be buying a Ferrari or marrying a Mail order bride (cant afford either!
) But am I expecting too much from a new job? Am I actually self sabotaging since I've done this career for near 2 decades now and perhaps I would be better off starting something completely different. Or is it just that I've been unlucky/gullible with believing the lies?
Thoughts?
In the summer of this year I started to get itchy feet. Where I worked, was IMO starting to go downhill in terms of atmosphere. (wont bore with details) So after a speculative approach from an agent. And a handful of interviews (of which I was offered a place by 8/9 employers!
) I left. On as good as terms as possible. Since you never know the future.Went to job 1. Better money, better on the CV. But longer commute. However, turned out after 2 weeks. From talking to people on the ground, that it was a severe exaggeration on many aspects by the interviewer. (who incidentally ignored me for the first 3 weeks!) Tried to stick it out. But whilst the commute was utterly painful some days. I would have been OK with it if everything else was as described in the interviews. But it wasn't and it wasn't likely to be, judging from the existing employees comments and proof
So I had another 3 or 4 interviews. Was far more critical in the interviews. Asked probing questions. Again, got offers from all of them. But this one stood out. He didn't appear to be BSing me. Slight pay cut, (grand) but again OTE was projected as on a par to higher. Slightly shorter commute. So against my better judgement took a punt.
Of course new Job 2 is actually WORSE in reality than New job 1. It's such a large employer (twice the size) and realistically it's too big as it's so disorganised. I spent 45 mins the other day wasting time because their systems/procedures are so cack handed! Why can't they just be honest! Saves me wasting their time as much as mine! I actually feel out of my depth, and of course I'm genuinely devastated that this is ruining my CV with all the chop and changing!!!
Plus I've successfully negotiated a 5K OTE pay cut from where I was a few months back! GENIUS! Had a chat with couple friends. And they've informally put my name about. And already had an old manger let me know (via that friend) that if I want to work for him I can start tomorrow. Another manager that I met, but never worked for has asked me to call him with a view to a chat. And of course I daresay I could potentially go back to where I was 5 months ago. But my pride won't let me, and I daresay it wont have changed from how bad it was anyway. (Theres been a bit of an exodus, but the s
t stirrers are still there and the manager can't deal with them effectively) TBF I know exactly what will be expected of me in these 3 jobs. And 2 of them I've visited before and are far closer commuting than where I've been of late. So they are pretty safe options.BUT
In the back of my mind I'm wondering if the problem is actually me though. Am I having the standard mid life crisis of career. I shan't be buying a Ferrari or marrying a Mail order bride (cant afford either!
) But am I expecting too much from a new job? Am I actually self sabotaging since I've done this career for near 2 decades now and perhaps I would be better off starting something completely different. Or is it just that I've been unlucky/gullible with believing the lies?Thoughts?
I'm sure I speak from a different perspective here, as I'm only 21 so my career has only just begun, but seeing some of the older colleagues here losing their st over the most menial of things, it's clear a large amount of them aren't happy in their careers.
I'd take career happiness over anything else, salary included, although I'm sure others would prefer to have a more stressful career but also earn more, allowing them to do more.
Life's too short to stress about work, no one ever says they wishes they spent more time in the office while on their death bed
t over the most menial of things, it's clear a large amount of them aren't happy in their careers.I'd take career happiness over anything else, salary included, although I'm sure others would prefer to have a more stressful career but also earn more, allowing them to do more.
Life's too short to stress about work, no one ever says they wishes they spent more time in the office while on their death bed
At the start of my career I moved jobs pretty rapidly with a view to increasing my salary/marketability with no view to a long term future with them. When I got close to my ceiling for my (then) trajectory I then found my "dream job" at a company that put employees first on a much higher salary than I was on at the time. For the first couple of years it was really good but gradually the benefits, quality of colleague, and general attitude of senior management changed so after 11 years I did not recognise where I was working and I was very unhappy at work.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that even a perfect job can change for the worse. With the mass removal of final salary pensions there is no reason to stay at one employer for the entirety of your life at work. Not happy at work? Take what you can and move on. As you can be damn sure the majority of employers will be doing the same of their employees.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that even a perfect job can change for the worse. With the mass removal of final salary pensions there is no reason to stay at one employer for the entirety of your life at work. Not happy at work? Take what you can and move on. As you can be damn sure the majority of employers will be doing the same of their employees.
An Itch, a Mid Life Crisis or too high expectations?
Sounds like a bit of all three. I've worked as a contractor since I was about 22 so have chopped and changed employers every year or two.
What I've realised is that the first 2-3 months a new 'job' are always a frustrating nightmare. You don't know the people, you don't know the processes and you don't know what's actually expected of you. It takes time to settle in and get your feet under the desk and start being useful. So try to stick with the next job for at least 3 months to see what it actually is.
The other point you make is around whether you want to carry on doing the same old ste. Well, I've been doing the same thing now for 10 years, it's a recognised 'role' in IT projects which helps finding work easy but does mean you tend to be going into new clients and just seeing the same old being repeated time after time and it gets a bit boring. So I find myself coasting the work stuff, getting frustrated at the usual pinchpoints and wishing for something a bit more 'challenging', something to stretch the brain cells a bit more. The thoughts of completely changing what I do, or setting up my own business, are always bubbling away, but the money I earn is like golden handcuffs, you can't just walk away from the decent money and nothing else I'd like to do would earn even close to what I can at the moment.
Whether you work to live, or live to work effects how you can handle this, I work to live so am happy enough to sacrifice a bit of frustration at work for earning enough money to make my life more comfortable. If I was earning less and there were alternatives where I could earn close to what I earn now, I'd probably be off trying other stuff.
Sounds like a bit of all three. I've worked as a contractor since I was about 22 so have chopped and changed employers every year or two.
What I've realised is that the first 2-3 months a new 'job' are always a frustrating nightmare. You don't know the people, you don't know the processes and you don't know what's actually expected of you. It takes time to settle in and get your feet under the desk and start being useful. So try to stick with the next job for at least 3 months to see what it actually is.
The other point you make is around whether you want to carry on doing the same old s
te. Well, I've been doing the same thing now for 10 years, it's a recognised 'role' in IT projects which helps finding work easy but does mean you tend to be going into new clients and just seeing the same old being repeated time after time and it gets a bit boring. So I find myself coasting the work stuff, getting frustrated at the usual pinchpoints and wishing for something a bit more 'challenging', something to stretch the brain cells a bit more. The thoughts of completely changing what I do, or setting up my own business, are always bubbling away, but the money I earn is like golden handcuffs, you can't just walk away from the decent money and nothing else I'd like to do would earn even close to what I can at the moment.Whether you work to live, or live to work effects how you can handle this, I work to live so am happy enough to sacrifice a bit of frustration at work for earning enough money to make my life more comfortable. If I was earning less and there were alternatives where I could earn close to what I earn now, I'd probably be off trying other stuff.
I dont think it's any of those 3, it's more likely walked into something thinking it was one thing, turned out to be something else
You can explain it away fairly easily in so much as you were hoping that it was a good challenge for someone like you, but once your feet were under the table you found out it wasnt the right type of challenge (insert example here), so you dont believe there's any shame in admitting a mistake, and moving on quickly to rectify it.
Everyone makes a bad hiring/recruitment decision at some point or other. Just happens, no-one wants it to happen but things sometimes dont work out as you want them to. It's more about how you deal with it than actually having had it.
You can explain it away fairly easily in so much as you were hoping that it was a good challenge for someone like you, but once your feet were under the table you found out it wasnt the right type of challenge (insert example here), so you dont believe there's any shame in admitting a mistake, and moving on quickly to rectify it.
Everyone makes a bad hiring/recruitment decision at some point or other. Just happens, no-one wants it to happen but things sometimes dont work out as you want them to. It's more about how you deal with it than actually having had it.
The solution is quite simple, but I see this time and time again with my clients. Most are looking to move because they are unhappy, not simply because they've mastered the role, gained more experience and skills and feel ready for a step up.
Why are they all so unhappy? Because few of them carried out their own due diligence on the role, the team or the organisation. Most did some internet search, turned up for the interview and then started work, then became surprised that all was not what they had hoped for.
If you haven't met the hiring manager at least twice, ideally 3 times (this is evidenced based), had a good look round the place and spent some time with other team members, then don't complain when you realise you're a poor fit.
Why are they all so unhappy? Because few of them carried out their own due diligence on the role, the team or the organisation. Most did some internet search, turned up for the interview and then started work, then became surprised that all was not what they had hoped for.
If you haven't met the hiring manager at least twice, ideally 3 times (this is evidenced based), had a good look round the place and spent some time with other team members, then don't complain when you realise you're a poor fit.
rog007 said:
The solution is quite simple, but I see this time and time again with my clients. Most are looking to move because they are unhappy, not simply because they've mastered the role, gained more experience and skills and feel ready for a step up.
Why are they all so unhappy? Because few of them carried out their own due diligence on the role, the team or the organisation. Most did some internet search, turned up for the interview and then started work, then became surprised that all was not what they had hoped for.
If you haven't met the hiring manager at least twice, ideally 3 times (this is evidenced based), had a good look round the place and spent some time with other team members, then don't complain when you realise you're a poor fit.
Interesting points you make.Why are they all so unhappy? Because few of them carried out their own due diligence on the role, the team or the organisation. Most did some internet search, turned up for the interview and then started work, then became surprised that all was not what they had hoped for.
If you haven't met the hiring manager at least twice, ideally 3 times (this is evidenced based), had a good look round the place and spent some time with other team members, then don't complain when you realise you're a poor fit.
I was unhappy where I was. 5 years, 2nd longest serving member of the department of 20ish. But despite always doing a good job, and being available for overtime at 3pm on a Friday. Felt I wasn't getting the support or even serious recognition (my ego
) deserved. Whilst I tried to be a good employee, not perfect. I got the hump at times. But always got the job done. And was liked by the various customers I dealt with above and beyond my job description. Whereas others who created all the damn time were getting looked after. But this was a thing that developed over the years. Not when I initialled joined. The manager who hired me was forced out 18 months back. So you do wonder if it was a case of "people not hired by the current management"Must admit though that last 2 jobs mentioned above, it was 1 interview, quick tour. Here's what we'll pay and what we expect from you in return. Any questions? Probably because in both cases it was with people who couldn't do the job I was employed to do. But were to be my immediate managers. That's not uncommon. So not sure how I could have got round that without getting a day off work to trial them. Which would have alerted me quickly to the downsides. But its not a common practice to do a work experience morning or some such ime. Maybe I should push for it in future?
Rich_W said:
So not sure how I could have got round that without getting a day off work to trial them. Which would have alerted me quickly to the downsides. But its not a common practice to do a work experience morning or some such ime. Maybe I should push for it in future?
One of my questions when I'm interviewing is 'what do you think you're like to work for/with' to the manager who's interviewing me. They never expect it, and I dont know why really, because it's a 2 way street and I want to know whether this is going to send me nuts or whether they're going to try and micro manage me into oblivion.
I've had responses from 'I think we'll get on great, I dont go screaming but I expect x for y' through 'ask my staff, I'm sure they'll tell you' and the red flag 'you come to work for me, it's a case of you'll just do the work'
Having a good manager is really important to me, after working with/for d
heads in the past I'm more focused on whether we'll get on rather than showing how I can outsell their current highest earner x100 while juggling and giving myself a blow job. My CV shows the experience I have, the interviews show whether we're actually going to be able to get along for 8-10 hours a day Gassing Station | Jobs & Employment Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff