Getting out of Christmas chores.
Discussion
We have as ever many many people coming for Christmas tomorrow. All my wife's family. Fortunately I like them all though as a group in can be somewhat overwhelming.
Add to the mix this year our nearly two year old niece and our second dog - a blind young rescue Bedlington Terrier who at present is running wild tormentin out other Bedlington.
There's lots to do and my wife is busying herself in the kitchen, My tasks are to clean up, cooking utensils, Hoover mop floors etc.
The problem is, I'm still in bed. I have Really nasty horrible headachy cold.
We're at the stage where I am getting sympathy but I can't see that lasting.
So, what should I do?
Stay in bed and surf Pistonheads Until the sympathy runs out downstairs.
Gamble - Stay in bed for an hour or so, go down stairs all unwell be told to go back to bed. Thus accruing more sympathy.
Man the f
k up.
Other - please specify.
I can't see how to create a poll.
Add to the mix this year our nearly two year old niece and our second dog - a blind young rescue Bedlington Terrier who at present is running wild tormentin out other Bedlington.
There's lots to do and my wife is busying herself in the kitchen, My tasks are to clean up, cooking utensils, Hoover mop floors etc.
The problem is, I'm still in bed. I have Really nasty horrible headachy cold.
We're at the stage where I am getting sympathy but I can't see that lasting.
So, what should I do?
Stay in bed and surf Pistonheads Until the sympathy runs out downstairs.
Gamble - Stay in bed for an hour or so, go down stairs all unwell be told to go back to bed. Thus accruing more sympathy.
Man the f
k up.Other - please specify.
I can't see how to create a poll.
2 options.
Get up and help. You'll be told you are soing it wrong and not doing enough and being selfish.
Stay in bed and get told the exact same thing.
Luckily it's her family not yours. Otherwise you would get a second round of guilt about how they don't even like her so why does she even bother.
Get up and help. You'll be told you are soing it wrong and not doing enough and being selfish.
Stay in bed and get told the exact same thing.
Luckily it's her family not yours. Otherwise you would get a second round of guilt about how they don't even like her so why does she even bother.
I'm still in bed, One of the dogs has joined me and I've been reading all about Talbot Sunbeams and Hillman imps thanks to an EBay link on another thread.
The problem now is that though I feel unwell, I am hungry. The smell of nice food is wafting upstairs.
If I go down stairs now and express an interest in food, it may be interpreted (wrongly) as a sign of recovery with potentially disastrous consequences.
The problem now is that though I feel unwell, I am hungry. The smell of nice food is wafting upstairs.
If I go down stairs now and express an interest in food, it may be interpreted (wrongly) as a sign of recovery with potentially disastrous consequences.
)wildcat45 said:
I'm still in bed, One of the dogs has joined me and I've been reading all about Talbot Sunbeams and Hillman imps thanks to an EBay link on another thread.
The problem now is that though I feel unwell, I am hungry. The smell of nice food is wafting upstairs.
If I go down stairs now and express an interest in food, it may be interpreted (wrongly) as a sign of recovery with potentially disastrous consequences.
"Feed a cold..."The problem now is that though I feel unwell, I am hungry. The smell of nice food is wafting upstairs.
If I go down stairs now and express an interest in food, it may be interpreted (wrongly) as a sign of recovery with potentially disastrous consequences.
Go downstairs looking very very ill.
Then start doing the chores as badly as you can whilst groaning, coughing, sneezing and swaying from side to side. Go to sit down occasionally but at the last moment steel yourself and go back to your chores saying something like "I must keep going for everyone else's sake"
This will gain sympathy and indicate that you are trying to help because you love them all so much.
Just after they tell you to go back to bed, wait until no one is looking and then grab a 6 pack of beer and loads of snacks and head back to bed.
Open beer as quietly as possible (under duvet for instance) and hide out until dinner time.
By dinner time you will be quite pissed and probably not that hungry (due to many snacks).
If someone comes in, look ill and suggest they put on their favourite Christmas film - thus keeping them occupied for another 2 hrs.
When they are ready to hit the sack, get up, have the dinner they left for you and then stay up late watching car programs and whatever films you can find that have lots of boobs in them.
Simple.
Then start doing the chores as badly as you can whilst groaning, coughing, sneezing and swaying from side to side. Go to sit down occasionally but at the last moment steel yourself and go back to your chores saying something like "I must keep going for everyone else's sake"
This will gain sympathy and indicate that you are trying to help because you love them all so much.
Just after they tell you to go back to bed, wait until no one is looking and then grab a 6 pack of beer and loads of snacks and head back to bed.
Open beer as quietly as possible (under duvet for instance) and hide out until dinner time.
By dinner time you will be quite pissed and probably not that hungry (due to many snacks).
If someone comes in, look ill and suggest they put on their favourite Christmas film - thus keeping them occupied for another 2 hrs.
When they are ready to hit the sack, get up, have the dinner they left for you and then stay up late watching car programs and whatever films you can find that have lots of boobs in them.
Simple.
OK I'm up and showered. I may do as suggested above and start making a bad job of things.
Job 1: clear up the previously clean living rooms after the dogs conducted a frenzied attack on a toy crocodile. It's remains, strands of green cloth a ton of white fluff are everywhere.
Why did I get out of bed?
Job 1: clear up the previously clean living rooms after the dogs conducted a frenzied attack on a toy crocodile. It's remains, strands of green cloth a ton of white fluff are everywhere.
Why did I get out of bed?
Well I recovered enough to hoover the stairs and had to empty the Hoover, the dust from which brought on a touch of asthma. I soldiered on, was praised and offered a ham sandwich and a beer.
I overheard her on the 'phone telling her mum that I was ill but that I'd been a brave little soldier in hoovering 3 flights of stairs and two landings. We were supposed to go out delivering presents for a couple of hours but I have been excised this on the understanding I do some minor tidying up.
I've come back to bed with the beer.
Thanks for your support today.
Happy Christmas.
I overheard her on the 'phone telling her mum that I was ill but that I'd been a brave little soldier in hoovering 3 flights of stairs and two landings. We were supposed to go out delivering presents for a couple of hours but I have been excised this on the understanding I do some minor tidying up.
I've come back to bed with the beer.
Thanks for your support today.
Happy Christmas.
TorqueDirty said:
Go downstairs looking very very ill.
Then start doing the chores as badly as you can whilst groaning, coughing, sneezing and swaying from side to side. Go to sit down occasionally but at the last moment steel yourself and go back to your chores saying something like "I must keep going for everyone else's sake"
This will gain sympathy and indicate that you are trying to help because you love them all so much.
Just after they tell you to go back to bed, wait until no one is looking and then grab a 6 pack of beer and loads of snacks and head back to bed.
Open beer as quietly as possible (under duvet for instance) and hide out until dinner time.
By dinner time you will be quite pissed and probably not that hungry (due to many snacks).
If someone comes in, look ill and suggest they put on their favourite Christmas film - thus keeping them occupied for another 2 hrs.
When they are ready to hit the sack, get up, have the dinner they left for you and then stay up late watching car programs and whatever films you can find that have lots of boobs in them.
Simple.
Almost.Then start doing the chores as badly as you can whilst groaning, coughing, sneezing and swaying from side to side. Go to sit down occasionally but at the last moment steel yourself and go back to your chores saying something like "I must keep going for everyone else's sake"
This will gain sympathy and indicate that you are trying to help because you love them all so much.
Just after they tell you to go back to bed, wait until no one is looking and then grab a 6 pack of beer and loads of snacks and head back to bed.
Open beer as quietly as possible (under duvet for instance) and hide out until dinner time.
By dinner time you will be quite pissed and probably not that hungry (due to many snacks).
If someone comes in, look ill and suggest they put on their favourite Christmas film - thus keeping them occupied for another 2 hrs.
When they are ready to hit the sack, get up, have the dinner they left for you and then stay up late watching car programs and whatever films you can find that have lots of boobs in them.
Simple.
While doubled over moaning, lick your palms. It's a good non-specific symptom, the clammy hands. Too much moaning and you'll end up at the Doctors, and that'll be the end of it.
TorqueDirty said:
Go downstairs looking very very ill.
Then start doing the chores as badly as you can whilst groaning, coughing, sneezing and swaying from side to side. Go to sit down occasionally but at the last moment steel yourself and go back to your chores saying something like "I must keep going for everyone else's sake"
This will gain sympathy and indicate that you are trying to help because you love them all so much.
Just after they tell you to go back to bed, wait until no one is looking and then grab a 6 pack of beer and loads of snacks and head back to bed.
Open beer as quietly as possible (under duvet for instance) and hide out until dinner time.
By dinner time you will be quite pissed and probably not that hungry (due to many snacks).
If someone comes in, look ill and suggest they put on their favourite Christmas film - thus keeping them occupied for another 2 hrs.
When they are ready to hit the sack, get up, have the dinner they left for you and then stay up late watching car programs and whatever films you can find that have lots of boobs in them.
Simple.
You've done this before haven't you!?Then start doing the chores as badly as you can whilst groaning, coughing, sneezing and swaying from side to side. Go to sit down occasionally but at the last moment steel yourself and go back to your chores saying something like "I must keep going for everyone else's sake"
This will gain sympathy and indicate that you are trying to help because you love them all so much.
Just after they tell you to go back to bed, wait until no one is looking and then grab a 6 pack of beer and loads of snacks and head back to bed.
Open beer as quietly as possible (under duvet for instance) and hide out until dinner time.
By dinner time you will be quite pissed and probably not that hungry (due to many snacks).
If someone comes in, look ill and suggest they put on their favourite Christmas film - thus keeping them occupied for another 2 hrs.
When they are ready to hit the sack, get up, have the dinner they left for you and then stay up late watching car programs and whatever films you can find that have lots of boobs in them.
Simple.
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