Lost my dad - advice needed
Discussion
Hi,
I lost my dad yesterday, he was very young and it was totally unexpected. There's a lot to get sorted, and the NHS have been great in providing some information on the immediate things to do next regarding funerals and obtaining a death certificate.
My mum hasn't worked in over 30 years, and my dad has always dealt with everything - I don't think she has any real idea of their financial position regarding pensions or life insurance or even savings accounts.
I'm still in shock, but I want to make sure I can sort everything out as best I can for my mum. Could anyone point me towards any useful information on how to go about tying up all of the loose ends? I'm starting to make a list but I'm worried I'll miss something important.
Thanks
I lost my dad yesterday, he was very young and it was totally unexpected. There's a lot to get sorted, and the NHS have been great in providing some information on the immediate things to do next regarding funerals and obtaining a death certificate.
My mum hasn't worked in over 30 years, and my dad has always dealt with everything - I don't think she has any real idea of their financial position regarding pensions or life insurance or even savings accounts.
I'm still in shock, but I want to make sure I can sort everything out as best I can for my mum. Could anyone point me towards any useful information on how to go about tying up all of the loose ends? I'm starting to make a list but I'm worried I'll miss something important.
Thanks
Sorry for your loss. It must be awful coming out of the blue like that, at least he didn't suffer.
Here's a good place to start: https://www.gov.uk/after-a-death/organisations-you...
Maybe start a spreadsheet to begin logging all the finances. It's a good way of seeing what's what but also handy to show your mum where she stands at a glance.
Here's a good place to start: https://www.gov.uk/after-a-death/organisations-you...
Maybe start a spreadsheet to begin logging all the finances. It's a good way of seeing what's what but also handy to show your mum where she stands at a glance.
Sorry to hear that. A few quick thoughts:-
You need to check if he left a will and/or left any directions as to what he wanted to happen to him in the event of death (possibly nothing was recorded as he was relatively young) - burial or cremation etc.
If your parents own the home, check if it is in joint names or just your father (or mother).
AS already mentioned above, check all the finances, bank accounts, savings etc for single/joint names.
Check that you have address books available to let others know.
Good luck.
You need to check if he left a will and/or left any directions as to what he wanted to happen to him in the event of death (possibly nothing was recorded as he was relatively young) - burial or cremation etc.
If your parents own the home, check if it is in joint names or just your father (or mother).
AS already mentioned above, check all the finances, bank accounts, savings etc for single/joint names.
Check that you have address books available to let others know.
Good luck.
Sorry for loss.
The funeral directors will take care of all funeral arrangements, so speak to them
When you register a death, the service is so much more and they will close down all government
based documents for you, driving licence, passport etc, you only need his NI number.
Get at least 8 registrar certified copies of the death certificate.
If the bank accounts and other financial are in sole name remember these will be closed down immediately you
tell them - so be aware of this.
Take your time - read his paperwork and work through, there is no rush - except registering the death (within 5 days)
In process of doing this for my Mother so if you have any questions, just ask.
The funeral directors will take care of all funeral arrangements, so speak to them
When you register a death, the service is so much more and they will close down all government
based documents for you, driving licence, passport etc, you only need his NI number.
Get at least 8 registrar certified copies of the death certificate.
If the bank accounts and other financial are in sole name remember these will be closed down immediately you
tell them - so be aware of this.
Take your time - read his paperwork and work through, there is no rush - except registering the death (within 5 days)
In process of doing this for my Mother so if you have any questions, just ask.
Done this for Mum, Dad and an uncle. The registrars are very helpful as are the funeral directors/undertakers, they'll all give you advise.
I'd say first off go through all their paperwork to find life insurances, share certs, (we're still finding the odd small value share certs from my Mum in 2000) and worse is we've got a Life Insurance policy for my Dad, taken out with one of the BIG names in 1936, and they won't pay out the £50 until I send them the original policy. From 1936, who keeps paperwork that long? 'king muppets, no wonder they're so rich. Sorry, started to go off on one there, they make me so mad.
One thing you will find useful is to get a copy of Wills, Probate and Inheritance Tax for Dummies. Well worth the few quid it costs, and you'll learn a lot and won't miss anything. Especially useful if he'd not "got round" to making a will. If he did leave a will and the bank or solicitor are executors, try to get them taken off. IME they're only interested in generating fees for themselves. My brother's dad in law died and bro helped sort the estate, it was SIL and solicitor as executors, and each time he phoned the solicitor they charged the estate £75 for taking the phone call and £150 for writing to tell him what he'd spoken to them about, I'm sure their name was Robin B'Stards
I'd say first off go through all their paperwork to find life insurances, share certs, (we're still finding the odd small value share certs from my Mum in 2000) and worse is we've got a Life Insurance policy for my Dad, taken out with one of the BIG names in 1936, and they won't pay out the £50 until I send them the original policy. From 1936, who keeps paperwork that long? 'king muppets, no wonder they're so rich. Sorry, started to go off on one there, they make me so mad.
One thing you will find useful is to get a copy of Wills, Probate and Inheritance Tax for Dummies. Well worth the few quid it costs, and you'll learn a lot and won't miss anything. Especially useful if he'd not "got round" to making a will. If he did leave a will and the bank or solicitor are executors, try to get them taken off. IME they're only interested in generating fees for themselves. My brother's dad in law died and bro helped sort the estate, it was SIL and solicitor as executors, and each time he phoned the solicitor they charged the estate £75 for taking the phone call and £150 for writing to tell him what he'd spoken to them about, I'm sure their name was Robin B'Stards
Thoughts are with you in this difficult time.Djr1 said:
Unfortunately, but not surprisingly, there's no will. My mum's name appears to be on everything, so that appears a bit simpler.
Do I need a solicitor for anything at this point? I'll get into the paperwork this afternoon and try to get to grips with things.
You can apply to be the administrator of the estate. So could your Mother, if she feels up to it.Do I need a solicitor for anything at this point? I'll get into the paperwork this afternoon and try to get to grips with things.
See here: https://www.gov.uk/wills-probate-inheritance/if-th...
(assuming this is in England and Wales BTW)
Djr1 said:
Unfortunately, but not surprisingly, there's no will. My mum's name appears to be on everything, so that appears a bit simpler.
Do I need a solicitor for anything at this point? I'll get into the paperwork this afternoon and try to get to grips with things.
If no will everything is inherited by your mum, and general rule is there is no IHT to worry about. A good rule of life is avoid solicitors as much as possible so I would read whats online first, you should be able to sort all this out yourself as the circumstances are simple (albeit upsetting). Sorry for your lossDo I need a solicitor for anything at this point? I'll get into the paperwork this afternoon and try to get to grips with things.
First of all OP, really sorry to hear about your loss mate. Unfortunately I can't offer any real advice on sorting things out in terms of paperwork etc.
All I can say is I lost my dad when I was 23, he was 53 and my mum had been his carer (MS) for 20 odd years. She got back into the work place and I think surprised herself in how well she got back into things. Even learned to use a PC which even by her own reckoning was a bit miraculous.
All I can say is I lost my dad when I was 23, he was 53 and my mum had been his carer (MS) for 20 odd years. She got back into the work place and I think surprised herself in how well she got back into things. Even learned to use a PC which even by her own reckoning was a bit miraculous.
No, you don't need a solicitor for anything. But then to be honest if half the world's solicitors became builders and plumbers, we'd solve two problems at once. Do you get the feeling I don't like solicitors? Or Spawn of the Devil as I call 'em.
You won't go wrong if you get the book I mentioned earlier. Has a good section on people dying intestate and tells you what to do step by step. When Mum died we couldn't find her will, but we knew she wanted to leave everything to Dad. The registrar asked us four or five times if we'd found it before the penny dropped and we miraculously managed to find it.
Are you SURE Dad didn't have a will leaving everything to Mum? Really, really sure? Hmm. 100% sure? Go on, check again, bet you find it.;)
You won't go wrong if you get the book I mentioned earlier. Has a good section on people dying intestate and tells you what to do step by step. When Mum died we couldn't find her will, but we knew she wanted to leave everything to Dad. The registrar asked us four or five times if we'd found it before the penny dropped and we miraculously managed to find it.
Are you SURE Dad didn't have a will leaving everything to Mum? Really, really sure? Hmm. 100% sure? Go on, check again, bet you find it.;)
Djr1 said:
Thanks very much to everyone for all the help and advice - really glad to see I can deal with this without solicitors. Really appreciate all the kind words.
We may not be legal experts on here but many of us have been through all this in our lives. There's no great mystery to what is now required, indeed, as others have said, many people are well-geared to help at times like this.If your parents were married and everything else is fairly 'normal' (no disputes/ex-partners/problems outstanding etc etc) then it's highly likely that you can get most of the paperwork completed quite easily. The death certificate is the initial 'key' to the next stage.
ColinM50 said:
No, you don't need a solicitor for anything. But then to be honest if half the world's solicitors became builders and plumbers, we'd solve two problems at once. Do you get the feeling I don't like solicitors? Or Spawn of the Devil as I call 'em.
You won't go wrong if you get the book I mentioned earlier. Has a good section on people dying intestate and tells you what to do step by step. When Mum died we couldn't find her will, but we knew she wanted to leave everything to Dad. The registrar asked us four or five times if we'd found it before the penny dropped and we miraculously managed to find it.
Are you SURE Dad didn't have a will leaving everything to Mum? Really, really sure? Hmm. 100% sure? Go on, check again, bet you find it.;)
For a Will to be valid it has to meet specific conditions. If one wasn't completed by him then it can't now be 'found'.You won't go wrong if you get the book I mentioned earlier. Has a good section on people dying intestate and tells you what to do step by step. When Mum died we couldn't find her will, but we knew she wanted to leave everything to Dad. The registrar asked us four or five times if we'd found it before the penny dropped and we miraculously managed to find it.
Are you SURE Dad didn't have a will leaving everything to Mum? Really, really sure? Hmm. 100% sure? Go on, check again, bet you find it.;)
Sorry for your loss OP.
I've had to do this very recently on behalf of my sister in law following the untimely death of my brother. She too has no idea of outgoings. The first few things I did are as follows:
Death certificate (get several copies as you'll need them)
Correspondence - does your dad have a correspondence file where you may find statements etc of any outgoings?
Bank statements - another great place to look to understand outgoings and incomings
Pensions and life cover - speak to all employers as far back as possible. The current employer may well provide a life policy, pensions may well exist at any number of previous employers in your dad's name
Benefits and bereavement payments - your mum should be entitled to something. There's a lump sum one off payment available (about £1500 I think) - you can check here:
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/bereave...
Stick it all in a spreadsheet summary as previously mentioned so you can start to make sense of it.
I've had to do this very recently on behalf of my sister in law following the untimely death of my brother. She too has no idea of outgoings. The first few things I did are as follows:
Death certificate (get several copies as you'll need them)
Correspondence - does your dad have a correspondence file where you may find statements etc of any outgoings?
Bank statements - another great place to look to understand outgoings and incomings
Pensions and life cover - speak to all employers as far back as possible. The current employer may well provide a life policy, pensions may well exist at any number of previous employers in your dad's name
Benefits and bereavement payments - your mum should be entitled to something. There's a lump sum one off payment available (about £1500 I think) - you can check here:
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/bereave...
Stick it all in a spreadsheet summary as previously mentioned so you can start to make sense of it.
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