How long do people grieve? (eBay related)

[forever_driving]

A month ago, I won some DVDs on eBay from a bloke in the US with a 100% feedback rating at 200+ points. The day after, I received an email saying that there had been a death in the family and would I mind waiting for a while before the DVDs were sent, he said if I didn't want to wait, I could have a full refund.

I replied, said sorry about his loss and I'll wait it out since this was a difficult purchase to find.

Anyway, there were two things that struck me:

I've had plenty of people close to me die during my life and even though it was emotional, I'm pretty sure I would have had the strength of mind to write someone's address on an envelope. If he couldn't come to write my address, then how come he could write an email to me and even offer to give me an instant refund through PayPal?

Well, a month has passed now and I haven't heard anything... however I've just noticed a 'new' seller selling the same rare DVD and they live in the same town in the US as the initial guy I was dealing with.

This is all getting a bit suspect and I want to resolve the issue. However, I feel a bit heartless emailing the guy (if he told the truth) saying "Sorry about you mother dieing, but can I have my DVDs now please?"

I'm at the bottom of the pile with articulation skills and wondered if anyone at PH can suggest a way of wording an email where I can be both sympathetic to his loss but get my bloody DVD!!

>>> Edited by forever_driving on Tuesday 22 March 12:44

[craigw]

I have to say, it sounds like a scam to me. Maybe I'm being cynical.

[alexkp]

You need to send:

Dear ****,

I hope things have become a little easier in the past few weeks. I have purposefully not been in touch as I undersand how difficult this time must be for you.

I think the best course of action would be for you to give me a refund, as I have noticed that there is a new seller in your town offering the same rare DVD! Coincidence huh? So I can buy it from him instead if that is easier.

Alternatively, I would be happy for you to still send.

Please let me know what you would like to do within the next 48hrs, as I would like to resilve this sensitively and amicably.

Yours etc.



Hope that helps.

>> Edited by alexkp on Tuesday 22 March 12:57

[Dakkon]

Sounds like a scam to me too...

[FourWheelDrift]

I wonder if he lent the DVD's to the person who passed away and has similar problems in asking for them back without sounding unsympathetic.

[pdV6]

Scam I reckon. Is there a time limit after which you'll be unable to claim the promised refund? If so, has it already passed?

[pdV6]

Alternatively, maybe the seller has lost your details and assumed you'd get in touch?



Nah!

[forever_driving]

Thanks all

I'll see what happens with Alexkp's message

[siwil1]

IIRC you only have 30days protection via paypal if there are any problems, I think you may want to investigate quickly. In relation to grieving I bet he has gone back to work.

[simpo two]

Unless his ID was hijacked? Post the link.