"Passive-Aggressive" behaviour in posts?
Discussion
Essentially someone who is passive-aggressive manages and lets out their aggression through passive means. A "normal" person would just openly and reasonably disagree with you, but a passive-aggressive person would react in one or more of these ways:
1) Go silent
2) Start muttering to themselves
3) "Oh okay then, if YOU insist. No really, if YOU insist!"
4) "Whatever"
5) Procrastinate (as a form of protest)
etc etc etc
It's a very broad description of a set of behaviours that depend heavily on situational context, so it's not possible to nail down one succinct textbook description that you would be able to easily relate to the real world.
A classic example every man understands is when asking a woman what's wrong, she simply says "nothing". That is an example of classic passive-aggression.
It's also worth noting many people use the term wrongly without understanding it, which lends to a lot of confusion.
1) Go silent
2) Start muttering to themselves
3) "Oh okay then, if YOU insist. No really, if YOU insist!"
4) "Whatever"
5) Procrastinate (as a form of protest)
etc etc etc
It's a very broad description of a set of behaviours that depend heavily on situational context, so it's not possible to nail down one succinct textbook description that you would be able to easily relate to the real world.
A classic example every man understands is when asking a woman what's wrong, she simply says "nothing". That is an example of classic passive-aggression.
It's also worth noting many people use the term wrongly without understanding it, which lends to a lot of confusion.
-DeaDLocK- said:
Essentially someone who is passive-aggressive manages and lets out their aggression through passive means. A "normal" person would just openly and reasonably disagree with you, but a passive-aggressive person would react in one or more of these ways:
1) Go silent
2) Start muttering to themselves
3) "Oh okay then, if YOU insist. No really, if YOU insist!"
4) "Whatever"
5) Procrastinate (as a form of protest)
etc etc etc
It's a very broad description of a set of behaviours that depend heavily on situational context, so it's not possible to nail down one succinct textbook description that you would be able to easily relate to the real world.
A classic example every man understands is when asking a woman what's wrong, she simply says "nothing". That is an example of classic passive-aggression.
It's also worth noting many people use the term wrongly without understanding it, which lends to a lot of confusion.
Thanks for this lengthy explanation which is easy to understand but I think it's in the context of the written word that I have trouble getting it. Personally I'd call those reactions you list above "sarcastic" or "sulking". 1) Go silent
2) Start muttering to themselves
3) "Oh okay then, if YOU insist. No really, if YOU insist!"
4) "Whatever"
5) Procrastinate (as a form of protest)
etc etc etc
It's a very broad description of a set of behaviours that depend heavily on situational context, so it's not possible to nail down one succinct textbook description that you would be able to easily relate to the real world.
A classic example every man understands is when asking a woman what's wrong, she simply says "nothing". That is an example of classic passive-aggression.
It's also worth noting many people use the term wrongly without understanding it, which lends to a lot of confusion.
Your point about it being used in the wrong context may well explain a lot!
CoolHands said:
You got a problem with passive-aggressive?
That's just aggressive surely?Edited by Driller on Saturday 28th January 11:54
Driller said:
For a while now I've noticed people accusing others of the above but for some reason I just don't get what they mean. I've googled passive-aggressive behaviour and I still don't understand!
What does it actually mean?
Try googling it again in the company of someone who can read.What does it actually mean?
HTH.
Just so you know.Kwackersaki said:
I'd like to know this too.
My ex boss went through a phase of using it a lot in meetings, particularly if you offered an opinion different to his.
His other favourite phrase was "cohesive unit". "What you mean a team" I used to respond.
Beginning to understand why your boss used the phrase 'passive-aggressive' a lot... My ex boss went through a phase of using it a lot in meetings, particularly if you offered an opinion different to his.
His other favourite phrase was "cohesive unit". "What you mean a team" I used to respond.
TwigtheWonderkid said:
Driller said:
For a while now I've noticed people accusing others of the above but for some reason I just don't get what they mean. I've googled passive-aggressive behaviour and I still don't understand!
What does it actually mean?
Try googling it again in the company of someone who can read.What does it actually mean?
HTH.
perfectAri said:
Kwackersaki said:
I'd like to know this too.
My ex boss went through a phase of using it a lot in meetings, particularly if you offered an opinion different to his.
His other favourite phrase was "cohesive unit". "What you mean a team" I used to respond.
Beginning to understand why your boss used the phrase 'passive-aggressive' a lot... My ex boss went through a phase of using it a lot in meetings, particularly if you offered an opinion different to his.
His other favourite phrase was "cohesive unit". "What you mean a team" I used to respond.
t "blue sky thinking", "empowering", "think outside the box", etc almost overnight when he became a director.Driller said:
Ok I think I get it.
So passive-aggressive is just a silly way of saying sarcastic or objectionable
.
It means they don't have the balls to outright tell you to your face they think you are talking dung. Instead they whine and moan and cry, and squirm and argue indirectly. So passive-aggressive is just a silly way of saying sarcastic or objectionable
.
I'll look up a better definition for you. No it's fine, even though I'm really busy.
I won't expect any thanks, I know how it works here.
I'll just cancel that thing I was going to do this evening. No it's fine. I wouldn't want you to have to make the effort to look up the definition yourself, I'm sure you have better things to do.
I won't expect any thanks, I know how it works here.
I'll just cancel that thing I was going to do this evening. No it's fine. I wouldn't want you to have to make the effort to look up the definition yourself, I'm sure you have better things to do.
King Herald said:
It means they don't have the balls to outright tell you to your face they think you are talking dung. Instead they whine and moan and cry, and squirm and argue indirectly.
This 100 fking percent. I have the bad luck to have a part time 'admin type' in my place, who is this to a tee. As she is (mercifully) only in two days a week, she thinks that everyone should jump to her command to allow her to get her work done as a priority as she is only in for a limited time. She is desperate however to keep up this image she has of herself of being 'nice' and 'caring' and and 'wonderful person' that she takes passive aggressiveness to a higher plain atogether. She is so petulant and rude, I wouldn't let my young daughters get away with her type of behaviour. As an example, if I'm in mid conversation with a colleague, she will walk in and stand in between us and stare in silence, until you make eye contact or engage her in conversation, at which point she then takes over and talks about what she wants to talk about. Alternatively, if she has paperwork which needs discussing, she will walk in and hover the paperwork in front of your face, in silence, until you engage her. We learned a long time ago to ignore her, but she persists, and will stand for minutes on end in silence, staring.
f
king hell now that I'm starting to think about it, I only scratching the surface ! I could write a book. She a total utter f
king . bunglesprout said:
This 100 fking percent. I have the bad luck to have a part time 'admin type' in my place, who is this to a tee. As she is (mercifully) only in two days a week, she thinks that everyone should jump to her command to allow her to get her work done as a priority as she is only in for a limited time. She is desperate however to keep up this image she has of herself of being 'nice' and 'caring' and and 'wonderful person' that she takes passive aggressiveness to a higher plain atogether. She is so petulant and rude, I wouldn't let my young daughters get away with her type of behaviour.
As an example, if I'm in mid conversation with a colleague, she will walk in and stand in between us and stare in silence, until you make eye contact or engage her in conversation, at which point she then takes over and talks about what she wants to talk about. Alternatively, if she has paperwork which needs discussing, she will walk in and hover the paperwork in front of your face, in silence, until you engage her. We learned a long time ago to ignore her, but she persists, and will stand for minutes on end in silence, staring.
fking hell now that I'm starting to think about it, I only scratching the surface ! I could write a book.
She a total utter fking .
You don't work in Tidworth, Wiltshire do you? If not, the similarities to my office are uncanny!!!king percent. I have the bad luck to have a part time 'admin type' in my place, who is this to a tee. As she is (mercifully) only in two days a week, she thinks that everyone should jump to her command to allow her to get her work done as a priority as she is only in for a limited time. She is desperate however to keep up this image she has of herself of being 'nice' and 'caring' and and 'wonderful person' that she takes passive aggressiveness to a higher plain atogether. She is so petulant and rude, I wouldn't let my young daughters get away with her type of behaviour. As an example, if I'm in mid conversation with a colleague, she will walk in and stand in between us and stare in silence, until you make eye contact or engage her in conversation, at which point she then takes over and talks about what she wants to talk about. Alternatively, if she has paperwork which needs discussing, she will walk in and hover the paperwork in front of your face, in silence, until you engage her. We learned a long time ago to ignore her, but she persists, and will stand for minutes on end in silence, staring.
f
king hell now that I'm starting to think about it, I only scratching the surface ! I could write a book. She a total utter f
king . bunglesprout said:
This 100 fking percent. I have the bad luck to have a part time 'admin type' in my place, who is this to a tee. As she is (mercifully) only in two days a week, she thinks that everyone should jump to her command to allow her to get her work done as a priority as she is only in for a limited time. She is desperate however to keep up this image she has of herself of being 'nice' and 'caring' and and 'wonderful person' that she takes passive aggressiveness to a higher plain atogether. She is so petulant and rude, I wouldn't let my young daughters get away with her type of behaviour.
As an example, if I'm in mid conversation with a colleague, she will walk in and stand in between us and stare in silence, until you make eye contact or engage her in conversation, at which point she then takes over and talks about what she wants to talk about. Alternatively, if she has paperwork which needs discussing, she will walk in and hover the paperwork in front of your face, in silence, until you engage her. We learned a long time ago to ignore her, but she persists, and will stand for minutes on end in silence, staring.
fking hell now that I'm starting to think about it, I only scratching the surface ! I could write a book.
She a total utter fking .
The only people who work 2 days a week in an office are cleaners. Get rid of her. Will only cause ftiction between others.king percent. I have the bad luck to have a part time 'admin type' in my place, who is this to a tee. As she is (mercifully) only in two days a week, she thinks that everyone should jump to her command to allow her to get her work done as a priority as she is only in for a limited time. She is desperate however to keep up this image she has of herself of being 'nice' and 'caring' and and 'wonderful person' that she takes passive aggressiveness to a higher plain atogether. She is so petulant and rude, I wouldn't let my young daughters get away with her type of behaviour. As an example, if I'm in mid conversation with a colleague, she will walk in and stand in between us and stare in silence, until you make eye contact or engage her in conversation, at which point she then takes over and talks about what she wants to talk about. Alternatively, if she has paperwork which needs discussing, she will walk in and hover the paperwork in front of your face, in silence, until you engage her. We learned a long time ago to ignore her, but she persists, and will stand for minutes on end in silence, staring.
f
king hell now that I'm starting to think about it, I only scratching the surface ! I could write a book. She a total utter f
king . Passive aggressive protest might be chaining yourself to railings or sitting down in the road
You're causing trouble but not being directly aggressive, so you're forcing the other party into making an aggressive act and being seen as the bad guy.
Verbally it's often being quite subtle and making implications, saying something without saying it kind of thing. So you're making your statement without really giving the other party anything to argue against.
You feel like going wait, so you're actually saying XYZ? And they go oh no no of course not. But they fking are, and the way they've done it denies you a clear response.
You're causing trouble but not being directly aggressive, so you're forcing the other party into making an aggressive act and being seen as the bad guy.
Verbally it's often being quite subtle and making implications, saying something without saying it kind of thing. So you're making your statement without really giving the other party anything to argue against.
You feel like going wait, so you're actually saying XYZ? And they go oh no no of course not. But they f
king are, and the way they've done it denies you a clear response.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff