Discussion
We found out the other day that my uncle had died (severe stroke, took him pretty much instantly, thankfully). His only close living relative is my dad, and he was pretty much estranged from our side of the family, so lived alone ever since my granddad died about 5 years ago, mainly due to being a pretty obnoxious, nasty piece of work. To be fair, he clearly had some kind of undiagnosed learning disability - he was never really all there, and easiest description is that he behaved like a stroppy teenager most of the time. My grand mother was too proud to admit he had any issues, so it was always swept under the carpet. Although I guess that was probably the done thing back in those days (1950's), my understanding is that sticking your head above the parapet usually got them committed to the local mental hospital. And they were pretty unpleasant places. Latterly, he really should have gone into some kind of sheltered accommodation, but he wasn't having any of that.
Anyway, back when my granddad died (my uncle was still living there), my dad and uncle cleared the house (there was a lot of stuff in there, including a lot of junk) and divided up anything worth keeping. My uncle wanted to keep pretty much everything, and my dad couldn't be bothered to argue over any of it - there were some moderately valuable antiques and some other, sentimental stuff. House was sold and proceeds split, so my uncle could buy himself his own place. Obviously this was significantly smaller than the previous family home, but still a decent size 3 bed semi, plenty of driveway parking and garage.
All the stuff he wanted to keep got moved there, apparently it was rammed full of everything in boxes, floor to ceiling in pretty much every room, even the garage was filled to capacity, so none of his (at least 3) cars would fit in there either. And that was the last time my dad went there, until today, when my parents went to the house to start getting his affairs in order. It was bad apparently, even worse than they imagined it could be. 90% of his stuff hadn't been unpacked or moved from the boxes since he moved in. He'd been sleeping in the smallest (box) room as the other bedrooms were too full to even consider getting a bed into. On top of the junk, the place was filthy, probably never been cleaned in all that time. Not even any running water - it had been turned off at the stop cock due to faulty toilet flush and heavily dripping taps.
Have to admit that I'm a bit of a hoarder myself: "that'll come in useful one day...". No where near as bad as my uncle, but I guess I've got 30 years to catch up with him! I should probably offer to help my parents with the clearing, but (apart from being 400 miles away) I'm a bit concerned I'd end up trying to adopt some of it.
Any other PHers that will admit to this affliction, or had to deal with a relative who's a hoarder?
Anyway, back when my granddad died (my uncle was still living there), my dad and uncle cleared the house (there was a lot of stuff in there, including a lot of junk) and divided up anything worth keeping. My uncle wanted to keep pretty much everything, and my dad couldn't be bothered to argue over any of it - there were some moderately valuable antiques and some other, sentimental stuff. House was sold and proceeds split, so my uncle could buy himself his own place. Obviously this was significantly smaller than the previous family home, but still a decent size 3 bed semi, plenty of driveway parking and garage.
All the stuff he wanted to keep got moved there, apparently it was rammed full of everything in boxes, floor to ceiling in pretty much every room, even the garage was filled to capacity, so none of his (at least 3) cars would fit in there either. And that was the last time my dad went there, until today, when my parents went to the house to start getting his affairs in order. It was bad apparently, even worse than they imagined it could be. 90% of his stuff hadn't been unpacked or moved from the boxes since he moved in. He'd been sleeping in the smallest (box) room as the other bedrooms were too full to even consider getting a bed into. On top of the junk, the place was filthy, probably never been cleaned in all that time. Not even any running water - it had been turned off at the stop cock due to faulty toilet flush and heavily dripping taps.
Have to admit that I'm a bit of a hoarder myself: "that'll come in useful one day...". No where near as bad as my uncle, but I guess I've got 30 years to catch up with him! I should probably offer to help my parents with the clearing, but (apart from being 400 miles away) I'm a bit concerned I'd end up trying to adopt some of it.
Any other PHers that will admit to this affliction, or had to deal with a relative who's a hoarder?
In a drawer in my garage are the following items (and many, many similar items...):
Some crankshaft seals from a TZ350 motor I built for a friend in about 1976
A set of used plugs from a 1974 RD350
A set of Stromberg carb needles & springs from an Imp competition motor I built in 1977
A Lotus Twin-cam piston from my +2S 130 Elan
Hoarder, me? Nah...just souvenirs of life.
Some crankshaft seals from a TZ350 motor I built for a friend in about 1976
A set of used plugs from a 1974 RD350
A set of Stromberg carb needles & springs from an Imp competition motor I built in 1977
A Lotus Twin-cam piston from my +2S 130 Elan
Hoarder, me? Nah...just souvenirs of life.
littleredrooster said:
In a drawer in my garage are the following items (and many, many similar items...):
Some crankshaft seals from a TZ350 motor I built for a friend in about 1976
A set of used plugs from a 1974 RD350
A set of Stromberg carb needles & springs from an Imp competition motor I built in 1977
A Lotus Twin-cam piston from my +2S 130 Elan
Hoarder, me? Nah...just souvenirs of life.
You will definitely need all of those things.Some crankshaft seals from a TZ350 motor I built for a friend in about 1976
A set of used plugs from a 1974 RD350
A set of Stromberg carb needles & springs from an Imp competition motor I built in 1977
A Lotus Twin-cam piston from my +2S 130 Elan
Hoarder, me? Nah...just souvenirs of life.
A few years back I went to a boot sale , got talking to a chap who'd driven up from canturbury to help clear his old navy mates house after he'd died
He had a few models I was interested in so said nip round in the afternoon , I did , it was a small semi , every room was full to the roof with boxes of books and magazines , I've no idea how the house hadn't collapsed with the weight
The living room had a chair with line of sight to a TV through the boxes right up to the ceiling across the rest of the room, in the kitchen cupboards there was tinned food from the 40s and 50s
In the garden there was a big shed that he'd extended over the years so it filled one side of the garden , the family had just finished emptying it because they were looking for the 3 1930s motorbikes they knew he had but they weren't there
A neighbour said he'd rented a garage to put them in but they had no idea where it was ,
His mate was really interesting telling me about their navy days then he just comes out with , I've got a U boat engine in my back garden , er ,what
A U boat engine, a real one , I had to rent a crane to get it in , I start it up now and again, it really pisses the neighbours off , makes a hell of a racket but it only runs for a few minutes on £10 worth of diesel so I don't do it very often
I did read about an old guy who was trapped in his bedroom after the attic ceiling caved in when an attic full of magazines crashed through
Apparently a mate had died and they were getting thrown out so he took them , they were 1000s of yachting magazines , he'd never owned a boat or sailed in his life
He had a few models I was interested in so said nip round in the afternoon , I did , it was a small semi , every room was full to the roof with boxes of books and magazines , I've no idea how the house hadn't collapsed with the weight
The living room had a chair with line of sight to a TV through the boxes right up to the ceiling across the rest of the room, in the kitchen cupboards there was tinned food from the 40s and 50s
In the garden there was a big shed that he'd extended over the years so it filled one side of the garden , the family had just finished emptying it because they were looking for the 3 1930s motorbikes they knew he had but they weren't there
A neighbour said he'd rented a garage to put them in but they had no idea where it was ,
His mate was really interesting telling me about their navy days then he just comes out with , I've got a U boat engine in my back garden , er ,what
A U boat engine, a real one , I had to rent a crane to get it in , I start it up now and again, it really pisses the neighbours off , makes a hell of a racket but it only runs for a few minutes on £10 worth of diesel so I don't do it very often
I did read about an old guy who was trapped in his bedroom after the attic ceiling caved in when an attic full of magazines crashed through
Apparently a mate had died and they were getting thrown out so he took them , they were 1000s of yachting magazines , he'd never owned a boat or sailed in his life
Edited by wack on Thursday 2nd February 22:13
I'm probably a bit hoardy, I've got a lot of magazines and books, all of which I've read, but can't quite get around to moving on. I've got VHS tapes that I won't throw out until I've run through them to make sure I'm not throwing out anything I wanted to keep, but that's a long job so I keep putting it off. I can't even delete some stuff off the PVR until I know I've got a copy on DVD.
I just keep finding excuses - start clearing after Christmas, better do tax return first, need to finish something else I'm working on. But I'm not quite as bad as these people you see on the TV or those mentioned here, where access to everyday things is blocked by piles of stuff.
What I couldn't deal with is one of these interfering people coming in and "helping". There used to be a TV series called "Life Laundry" (which I think was the forerunner to all these more modern hoarder shock-horror programmes) where they'd do the usual pictures of rooms full of stuff, talk to the owners, parade it all out on a local sports field or in a warehouse and basically make them get rid of some stuff. One of those series where there's a second presenter who isn't happy until they've made someone cry on camera. I'd be very angry if someone did that to me.
I just keep finding excuses - start clearing after Christmas, better do tax return first, need to finish something else I'm working on. But I'm not quite as bad as these people you see on the TV or those mentioned here, where access to everyday things is blocked by piles of stuff.
What I couldn't deal with is one of these interfering people coming in and "helping". There used to be a TV series called "Life Laundry" (which I think was the forerunner to all these more modern hoarder shock-horror programmes) where they'd do the usual pictures of rooms full of stuff, talk to the owners, parade it all out on a local sports field or in a warehouse and basically make them get rid of some stuff. One of those series where there's a second presenter who isn't happy until they've made someone cry on camera. I'd be very angry if someone did that to me.
mjb1 said:
It was bad apparently, even worse than they imagined it could be. 90% of his stuff hadn't been unpacked or moved from the boxes since he moved in. He'd been sleeping in the smallest (box) room as the other bedrooms were too full to even consider getting a bed into. On top of the junk, the place was filthy, probably never been cleaned in all that time. Not even any running water - it had been turned off at the stop cock due to faulty toilet flush and heavily dripping taps.
I was about to post that I'm a bit of a hoarder but I don't think I am after all!Not sure it's just being a hoarder, though - the cleaning thing and not fixing the house sounds like laziness but to a point where you wonder if depression is mingled in there somewhere.
Out of interest, what's the most efficient way of clearing someone's house if it's in the state you describe? (Apart from a can of petrol and a match.)
My wife does and my inlaws, they have plenty of space lviign on a farm so nothing really gets thrown away, just stored int he barn so its full of crap, and weirdly they have always been comfortable financially but are terrified of throwing stuff out, my wife always goes on about putting old books on Ebay, yeah, cos I can be arsed getting 50 pence, havign to pack it up and cart it to the post office, my rule for Ebay is over £20 value after fees and postage really, stuff like that goes to the animal shelter.
Each time I visit my in-laws I take a few boxes of crap out of their garage to the tip. They've no idea I'm doing it, but it's ALL junk.
I mean, my FIL has one of these breathing machines for sleep apneoa (sp?) so buys distilled water in 5l. containers.
There were 375 of these f
king empty containers in their garage!! WHY? Put them in the recycling bin you have! I filled our Skoda Octavia wagon boot up (floor to roof with the cargo net up!!) and took them down the road to recycling! Took me fking ages!
I simply don't want to be faced with the inevitable van loads of st to move when they pop off. My FIL has Parkinson's and doesn't even get to the garage now, and my MIL is showing signs of dementia, and can't remember yesterday's conversation, let alone what was in the garage last month. It's sad, but I have to do it bit by bit to lessen the inevitable mother loads later. It doesn't help that they're in Hampshire and I'm in Luxembourg or I'd have done much more so far!
I love 'em to bit, but FFS. Hoarders beyond belief, in my eyes.
I mean, my FIL has one of these breathing machines for sleep apneoa (sp?) so buys distilled water in 5l. containers.
There were 375 of these f
king empty containers in their garage!! WHY? Put them in the recycling bin you have! I filled our Skoda Octavia wagon boot up (floor to roof with the cargo net up!!) and took them down the road to recycling! Took me fking ages!I simply don't want to be faced with the inevitable van loads of s
t to move when they pop off. My FIL has Parkinson's and doesn't even get to the garage now, and my MIL is showing signs of dementia, and can't remember yesterday's conversation, let alone what was in the garage last month. It's sad, but I have to do it bit by bit to lessen the inevitable mother loads later. It doesn't help that they're in Hampshire and I'm in Luxembourg or I'd have done much more so far!I love 'em to bit, but FFS. Hoarders beyond belief, in my eyes.
OP, my Grandparents and my Aunt both have hoarding tenancies and it can be very difficult to try to help them.
The saving grace is that it was easier to clear my Grandfathers house as he had passed away and I did not have to negotiate with him over every cardboard box, tea-towel, box of bulldog clips, decades old items of clothing etc.
Even so it took over 6 months, 8 large skips and multiple runs to the tip/charity shop to clear out every room in his house and the garage.
He had nothing organised and his idea of keeping his financial stuff safe was to hide it, so every thing had to be gone through as there was a chance that it might have a bankbook, premium bond or something else important in it.
All manner of things were found from decade old used catheter bags in a suitcase to reams of headed notepaper from the garage he ran in the 1950s.
My Aunt however is still alive and trying to help her de-clutter (my uncle has dementia and the house was/is unsafe for him) is a nightmare - she cannot throw anything away and thinks it perfectly reasonable to have in excess of 200 unused tea towels....
The saving grace is that it was easier to clear my Grandfathers house as he had passed away and I did not have to negotiate with him over every cardboard box, tea-towel, box of bulldog clips, decades old items of clothing etc.
Even so it took over 6 months, 8 large skips and multiple runs to the tip/charity shop to clear out every room in his house and the garage.
He had nothing organised and his idea of keeping his financial stuff safe was to hide it, so every thing had to be gone through as there was a chance that it might have a bankbook, premium bond or something else important in it.
All manner of things were found from decade old used catheter bags in a suitcase to reams of headed notepaper from the garage he ran in the 1950s.
My Aunt however is still alive and trying to help her de-clutter (my uncle has dementia and the house was/is unsafe for him) is a nightmare - she cannot throw anything away and thinks it perfectly reasonable to have in excess of 200 unused tea towels....
My sister went through a similar phase as a result of a spell of depression. She had lost her job, fell behind on her bills and stopped cleaning/taking out the rubbish. Once she found a new job she didn't put any of it right so continued to live in filth.
The best thing I ever did was start going round every sunday armed with bin liners and cleaning products and started clearing out the rubbish and cleaning. I would get her to help me too. 20 bin bags later and some horrific cupboard discoveries, after 4 sundays we finally got the place clean and it actually helped lift her out of her depression and she turned her attention to her unpaid bills. She has not regressed back either.
Sometimes people do need help but are too proud/stubborn/scared to admit it.
The best thing I ever did was start going round every sunday armed with bin liners and cleaning products and started clearing out the rubbish and cleaning. I would get her to help me too. 20 bin bags later and some horrific cupboard discoveries, after 4 sundays we finally got the place clean and it actually helped lift her out of her depression and she turned her attention to her unpaid bills. She has not regressed back either.
Sometimes people do need help but are too proud/stubborn/scared to admit it.
I tend to think of myself as a collector more than a hoarder but i'm sure it overlaps. I have four cars which is totally unnecessary but I can't bring myself to sell up. I have a huge collection of CDs and I have a 'man room' full of nerdy memorabilia. That said, I wouldn't let it get in the way of normal life so not sure I'm a compulsive, OCD type as mentioned in the first post.
My mum actually had a work colleague who's brother died very suddenly and it was up to her to help clear his house etc as it was all left to her.
It turned out that this chap died at home, sat upright in the upstairs hallway. This was the only space in the house where you could actually fit. When she went to the house to start moving things out, every room in this four bedroom house was full to the ceiling. Turns out the guy was sleeping in the upstairs hallway surrounded the junk. It was so bad there wasn't even enough space to lie down hence he died in his sleep, sitting up. Very sad really.
My mum actually had a work colleague who's brother died very suddenly and it was up to her to help clear his house etc as it was all left to her.
It turned out that this chap died at home, sat upright in the upstairs hallway. This was the only space in the house where you could actually fit. When she went to the house to start moving things out, every room in this four bedroom house was full to the ceiling. Turns out the guy was sleeping in the upstairs hallway surrounded the junk. It was so bad there wasn't even enough space to lie down hence he died in his sleep, sitting up. Very sad really.
crofty1984 said:
You will definitely need all of those things.
Well the crankshaft oil seal is a real treasure. There's one up for sale on Ebayhttp://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Yamaha-TZ250-TZ350-RD250...
And big money too
£8.46 with FREE P&P
The Spruce goose said:
my mum grew up poor and uncle as well. When my uncle died he had loads of stuff, and my mum is the same. Having things, even if worthless makes them feel better I guess.
Nowadays things are so cheap you can chuck it and get another, it wasn't always like that.
This is my FiL. Had nothing growing up so saves everything now (takes things out of skips) & won't throw anything away. MiL would love to do a car boot & get rid of stuff but he won't have it. Spanners & tools he's got multiples of he thinks are worth £s & won't sell them when in fact you can get them on the market for a £1 new.Nowadays things are so cheap you can chuck it and get another, it wasn't always like that.
My dad was a bit of a hoarder.
When he died last year, we found 6 video machines and a betamax in one of the bedrooms!
His garage was even worse(retired mechanic), old brake shoes/pads with no life left in them, plugs/point/condensers/starters/bulbs etc etc.
Must admit though, I can be a bit of a hoarder, I do try to throw old stuff away, but the 'that'll come in handy one day' always seems to win!
And you know what? It does come in handy.
But, I do own a old land rover, as does 2 of my mates, and another mate has a rover P5 and we do all the work on them at my house, because I have a 4 car drive and a garage.
When he died last year, we found 6 video machines and a betamax in one of the bedrooms!
His garage was even worse(retired mechanic), old brake shoes/pads with no life left in them, plugs/point/condensers/starters/bulbs etc etc.
Must admit though, I can be a bit of a hoarder, I do try to throw old stuff away, but the 'that'll come in handy one day' always seems to win!
And you know what? It does come in handy.
But, I do own a old land rover, as does 2 of my mates, and another mate has a rover P5 and we do all the work on them at my house, because I have a 4 car drive and a garage.
j4ckos mate said:
i cant stand crap round the house,
i have been known to chuck the odd ornament out here and there when shes not looking,
Not just me then!!!i have been known to chuck the odd ornament out here and there when shes not looking,
Tbf neither me or my wife like much "stuff" around the house and we are both quite ruthless, but occasionally I do chuck stuff when she's out.
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