My Father passed away unexpectedly yesterday
Discussion
My Father took his own life yesterday. I'm still feeling very very numb to the whole thing at the moment.
I am the oldest child but live the furthest away. I think there will be a fair amount to sort out and was hoping people could advise as to what needs to be done. I want to try deal with all the formalities and take the pressure off my younger brother and sister who both have families.
None of us have full details of his financial affairs. He still had a current mortgage on a small apartment. He was registered blind so received disability benefit ( I believe ).
I'm not sure if he has left a will or power of attorney set up etc.
Any tips from the PH community would be gratefully received.
Re-Reading this before sending has just brought on my first tears.....
Sorry to dump this on you.
Nick
I am the oldest child but live the furthest away. I think there will be a fair amount to sort out and was hoping people could advise as to what needs to be done. I want to try deal with all the formalities and take the pressure off my younger brother and sister who both have families.
None of us have full details of his financial affairs. He still had a current mortgage on a small apartment. He was registered blind so received disability benefit ( I believe ).
I'm not sure if he has left a will or power of attorney set up etc.
Any tips from the PH community would be gratefully received.
Re-Reading this before sending has just brought on my first tears.....
Sorry to dump this on you.
Nick
really sorry to hear this chap. Yes, you will need to sort out all his affairs, but please allow yourself to grieve and get support from others too - I have seen a couple of people struggle as they just tried to make sure everyone else was ok.
I expect someone will come along who has dealt with the loss of a parent soon and will be able to advise better on the practicalities. There is no mad rush though chap, little can probably be done until you have the death certificate etc
Again my sincere condolences.
I expect someone will come along who has dealt with the loss of a parent soon and will be able to advise better on the practicalities. There is no mad rush though chap, little can probably be done until you have the death certificate etc
Again my sincere condolences.
Sorry to hear of your bereavement. I've dealt with a couple of family deaths. it can take a long time to sort out.
You may not need probate (see link already posted) but it's important to secure all and any paperwork, bills, share certificates, rent agreements, car papers, bank statements and so forth as they tend to get lost, then keep them for some time after all is settled, as financial links often appear out of the blue years later.
If you are the executor it's useful to have several Certified Copies of the Death Certificate (five or so) as these are often required by probate departments of banks, etc.
The Registrar can provide these immediately when the death is registered.
After that, things tend to fall into place after the funeral, letters to the Probate department of banks and insurance companies etc are usually dealt with politely and swiftly.
You may not need probate (see link already posted) but it's important to secure all and any paperwork, bills, share certificates, rent agreements, car papers, bank statements and so forth as they tend to get lost, then keep them for some time after all is settled, as financial links often appear out of the blue years later.
If you are the executor it's useful to have several Certified Copies of the Death Certificate (five or so) as these are often required by probate departments of banks, etc.
The Registrar can provide these immediately when the death is registered.
After that, things tend to fall into place after the funeral, letters to the Probate department of banks and insurance companies etc are usually dealt with politely and swiftly.
Very sorry to hear.
I approached things similarly when my father died and was going to do everything myself. I soon discovered I wasn't up to the job emotionally and handed matters over to a solicitor to undertake all the administration on my behalf. It was money well spent at the time and not too expensive. It allowed me to focus on the important things including my family, funeral etc.
I'm afraid the starting point will be to locate all the documentation you can relating to bank accounts, savings, pensions, utilities etc. and you could then hand all this over to a solicitor if you wish for them to sort out.
I'm sure there are others in here more qualified than I to provide further direction.
Good luck with an awful task at an awful time.
I approached things similarly when my father died and was going to do everything myself. I soon discovered I wasn't up to the job emotionally and handed matters over to a solicitor to undertake all the administration on my behalf. It was money well spent at the time and not too expensive. It allowed me to focus on the important things including my family, funeral etc.
I'm afraid the starting point will be to locate all the documentation you can relating to bank accounts, savings, pensions, utilities etc. and you could then hand all this over to a solicitor if you wish for them to sort out.
I'm sure there are others in here more qualified than I to provide further direction.
Good luck with an awful task at an awful time.
Phil. said:
Very sorry to hear.
I approached things similarly when my father died and was going to do everything myself. I soon discovered I wasn't up to the job emotionally and handed matters over to a solicitor to undertake all the administration on my behalf. It was money well spent at the time and not too expensive. It allowed me to focus on the important things including my family, funeral etc.
I'm afraid the starting point will be to locate all the documentation you can relating to bank accounts, savings, pensions, utilities etc. and you could then hand all this over to a solicitor if you wish for them to sort out.
I'm sure there are others in here more qualified than I to provide further direction.
Good luck with an awful task at an awful time.
I have to agree with this, granted I have not lost my dad (yet), although I have lost a grandfather suddenly who I was very close to and having a solicitor deal with the various companies involved was one less thing to deal with (although finding paperwork was made easier as he kept everything in one desk), we knew we were not up to the task from the get go.I approached things similarly when my father died and was going to do everything myself. I soon discovered I wasn't up to the job emotionally and handed matters over to a solicitor to undertake all the administration on my behalf. It was money well spent at the time and not too expensive. It allowed me to focus on the important things including my family, funeral etc.
I'm afraid the starting point will be to locate all the documentation you can relating to bank accounts, savings, pensions, utilities etc. and you could then hand all this over to a solicitor if you wish for them to sort out.
I'm sure there are others in here more qualified than I to provide further direction.
Good luck with an awful task at an awful time.
Overall as stated give yourself time to grieve about your father's loss as otherwise if you keep supporting everyone else it will hurt even more later on.
A few years down the line me and my father can now talk more openly about the "good times", albeit still a fairly powerful emotional subject.
Sorry to hear this, my thoughts are with you and your family.
You may well find that the undertaker's you choose to deal with will have a lot of experience and advice in how to deal with all the issues that this has thrown up and if not, they will be able to point you in the right direction. As has been said, this is a good place to come and open up and you shouldn't feel sorry for doing so.
You may well find that the undertaker's you choose to deal with will have a lot of experience and advice in how to deal with all the issues that this has thrown up and if not, they will be able to point you in the right direction. As has been said, this is a good place to come and open up and you shouldn't feel sorry for doing so.
Slushbox said:
it's important to secure all and any paperwork, bills, share certificates, rent agreements, car papers, bank statements and so forth as they tend to get lost.
My condolences on your loss.Adding to the point above, be careful to check through books, coats, jackets and papers before clearing them out. People leave bank books, cash, etc in the strangest of "safe" places.
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.
Don't feel that you need to feel or do anything in particular immediately. Each person reacts in his own way. There is no right answer. Accept help with the day-to-day. Accept that many people are awkward around death, especially suicide. Accept that someone at some stage is going to put their foot in it.
I've had to deal with several estates. The best advice is to start with the website above and there is a book which you can get at almost any bookshop - What to Do When Someone Dies ("Which?" Consumer Guides). It is largely a step by step process.
Be prepared for the institutional insensitivity of many banks, councils etc. Most of their staffs are brilliant at times like this but you will get bureaucratic little Hitlers and process monkeys as well as silly insensitive letters addressed to "Dear Mr X (Deceased)." Try not to be upset by them as it will affect only you.
When you register the death, and you might need to wait for the coroner, depending on the complexity of your father's affairs, ask for at least ten copies of his death certificate, as you will need one for each notification you send, and remember to ask each institution to send them back once they have dealt with it. Most banks/BSs will accept oral or email notification, followed up by a letter.
In due course, when you are up to it or find yourself up against a problem, feel free to PM me if you have any questions.
My condolences
Peter
Don't feel that you need to feel or do anything in particular immediately. Each person reacts in his own way. There is no right answer. Accept help with the day-to-day. Accept that many people are awkward around death, especially suicide. Accept that someone at some stage is going to put their foot in it.
I've had to deal with several estates. The best advice is to start with the website above and there is a book which you can get at almost any bookshop - What to Do When Someone Dies ("Which?" Consumer Guides). It is largely a step by step process.
Be prepared for the institutional insensitivity of many banks, councils etc. Most of their staffs are brilliant at times like this but you will get bureaucratic little Hitlers and process monkeys as well as silly insensitive letters addressed to "Dear Mr X (Deceased)." Try not to be upset by them as it will affect only you.
When you register the death, and you might need to wait for the coroner, depending on the complexity of your father's affairs, ask for at least ten copies of his death certificate, as you will need one for each notification you send, and remember to ask each institution to send them back once they have dealt with it. Most banks/BSs will accept oral or email notification, followed up by a letter.
In due course, when you are up to it or find yourself up against a problem, feel free to PM me if you have any questions.
My condolences
Peter
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