Daft/pointless things people say

[yeager2004]

While probably said by well-meaning people, there are a number of daft/pointless things people say:

- when you’re with a toddler who’s kicking off – someone (usually old biddy) will enviably say “ohh, someone’s upset”. No, really? I hadn’t noticed.

- guy at work just been signed off with kidney stones – a colleague on hearing the news: “ahh, really nasty kidney stones, don’t envy him that one”. You don’t? I’d never has guessed.

I’m sure there are lots more.,,

[TwistingMyMelon]

When washing a car - "do mine next" - Yep i'm guilty of saying that

[alorotom]

yeager2004 said:

I’d never has guessed.

Plus, actually saying "I'm lol'ing" ... well you aren't, you're simply saying you are aren't you!

[DavesFlaps]

One thing that always annoys me when people have lost, then subsequently found stuff:

"It's always in the last place you look"

Of course it is you stupid prick, you're not going to carry on looking for something once you've found it are you?

[sidekickdmr]

Anytime someone on here says something about spitting coffee on keyboard/screen

This has never in the history of mankind actually happened

[Shakermaker]

"Ooh, have you had a haircut?"

[Joratk]

Shakermaker said:

"Ooh, have you had a haircut?"

To which you reply "No, I've had them all cut."

[PositronicRay]

But how are you in yourself?

[Shakermaker]

Joratk said:

To which you reply "No, I've had them all cut."

I normally reply with "No" - and leave the person questioning themselves.

[PositronicRay]

Or you say to a colleague your going away on holiday.

The retort come back

"Are you going anywhere nice" ?

[generationx]

A: What time is it?
B: (tells the time)
A: Is it?

[Lynchie999]

"hows life ?"

this really bothers me... compared to death, its quite good i suppose...

[Dr Murdoch]

Grumpy s the lot of you

[deeen]

PositronicRay said:

But how are you in yourself?

Answer: "Prefer to be in somebody else?" or "Glad I'm not in you"!

[Faust66]

DavesFlaps said:

One thing that always annoys me when people have lost, then subsequently found stuff:

"It's always in the last place you look"

Of course it is you stupid prick, you're not going to carry on looking for something once you've found it are you?

This one has always annoyed me

So much so that I once (with the aid of a friend) spent ages looking for something - a Zippo IIRC. It was decided that we'd carry on looking for the missing lighter after we'd found it, just so it wouldn't have been in the last place we looked...

Mind you, we had been drinking and

Back on the subject of the OP

Douglas Adams said:

One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about human beings was their habit of continually stating and repeating the obvious, as in “It’s a nice day”, or “You’re very tall”, or “Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you all right?”

At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behaviour. If human beings don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months’ consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favour of a new one. If they don’t keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.

After a while he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical and decided he quite liked human beings after all, but he always remained desperately worried about the terrible number of things they didn’t know about.

[PositronicRay]

Would you like a drink?

No thanks.

Are you sure?

[KrazyIvan]

sidekickdmr said:

Anytime someone on here says something about spitting coffee on keyboard/screen

This has never in the history of mankind actually happened

I did when I 1st read the tale of the fella with a poorly stomach in the bathroom while his date was in bed.

[anonymous-user]

PositronicRay said:

Would you like a drink?

No thanks.

Are you sure?

You must not be from Scotland. It's standard patter to follow up with are you sure. Upon the person insisting they are sure, you buy them a pint anyway and force the fker via peer pressure to get st faced. Just like everyone else.

Gwannnn take a drink.

[Europa1]

"With respect,..."

"I'm not trying to be funny, but..."

[Morningside]

Drive carefully.

Or yesterday:
Nice weather for ducks. The gardens need it.