Cheating spouse moved out, still on tenancy agreement.......

[McVities]

Long time lurker, rare poster, but I know enough to keep it brief (ish).


After I found out my wife had an affair last year, the marriage declined from potentially salvageable to a separation and damage limitation. We spent up till now living separate lives under the same roof until we were in a financial position for one of us to move out.
We managed to keep things amicable between us, though are currently only talking to each other about care arrangements for our son.

My ex moved out last weekend by mutual agreement and is now settled in a flat about half a mile away. She is named on the tenancy agreement at the house where I am living until the end of August, I have negotiated with the landlord to start a new tenancy in my name only in September.

My ex has now started making noises about coming back to the house to clean and tidy in preparation for an end of tenancy inspection, in order to preserve her part of the deposit. I have no problems with this and would welcome the help.........however, she said that she wants to do this at a time which is convenient to her, and thus would be when I am not at home. I was not happy with this and expressed my wishes that she only be present in the house when I am also there. I don't think this is an unreasonable request.

I am aware that as she is named on the tenancy agreement, she is legally allowed to be in the house at any time she sees fit. Morally (and she doesn't really have any morals) it's not her house or home now and she needs to respect that. Anything I can legally do to ensure she only comes round when I am there? My landlady has said that I cannot change the locks until September, which I have to respect. I know its only a few weeks to go, but it's been many months of treading on eggshells and I was just starting to get used to the idea of freedom and peace.

[randlemarcus]

Easy answer is to give her the share of the deposit that she is expecting back, and to take any "shared" deductions on the chin. Remove this excuse to re-enter the premises.

[SpeckledJim]

randlemarcus said:

Easy answer is to give her the share of the deposit that she is expecting back, and to take any "shared" deductions on the chin. Remove this excuse to re-enter the premises.

This has got to be the answer.

Since you're starting a new lease on the same place, I doubt the landlord is going to hammer you on any damage. If they even inspect at all.

[Butter Face]

Absolutely as above, pay her off. She has no reason to come back then. Get her gone.

[theboss]

When this happened to me, I did exactly the same in terms of having a new tenancy drawn in my name only. In the document she signed, she also effectively waived any right to the deposit... meaning the original protected deposit was carried over to the new tenancy. I'd just given her some cash to buy appliances with (to avoid her taking the ones I'd just bought) so she took this as her 'half' and didn't ask any further questions. The Landlord did say this was the best way forward otherwise they would legally have to split the deposit at some future point down the road when the tenancy ended. I'll see if I can dig out the paperwork.

This is equivalent to just paying her off as others have suggested, and I'd agree this is the best way forward. It would avoid having to mess around reclaiming the existing deposit and repaying.

Legally as you know, she is still allowed access to the place whilst the tenancy is still joint, although this didn't stop me accidentally leaving keys in all the locks except the one I knew she didn't have a key for. As soon as the tenancy was mine, the locksmiths came in and completely hardened the place.

Just be glad you rented it. Everyone always told me to buy the family house, but I know that if I had, she'd be sat smugly in it whilst I slaved to pay the mortgage. It also meant that she left all the expensive oversized furnishing and appliances I'd bought over the years, because they wouldn't fit in the poxy little house she moved into.

Edited by theboss on Friday 4th August 13:02

[hotchy]

I be tempted to make a mess and forfeit all the deposit and find another flat. Just out of spite.

[SpeckledJim]

hotchy said:

I be tempted to make a mess and forfeit all the deposit and find another flat. Just out of spite.

Because the landlord is the real villain in this situation?

[Monkeylegend]

hotchy said:

I be tempted to make a mess and forfeit all the deposit and find another flat. Just out of spite.

Talk about cutting of your nose, that really takes the biscuit.

[McVities]

I like the paying off her deposit idea. Sounds like a shrewd move, will be doing just that.

hotchy said:

I be tempted to make a mess and forfeit all the deposit and find another flat. Just out of spite.

with a project car and a load of parts in the garage plus some off road parking..................even I don't hate my ex that much!!


Plus it would be nice to have that kind of money to just throw away - nods in deference to the obviously goatee clad, powerfully built director type

Edited by McVities on Friday 4th August 16:00

[pixelatedJH]

+1 to the just pay her her half of the deposit. If it's really just a matter of tidying things up at the flat you can do that, retain your peace/sanity and there's one less excuse.

[Wacky Racer]

hotchy said:

I be tempted to make a mess and forfeit all the deposit and find another flat. Just out of spite.

I wouldn't like to be your landlord.

I know it's only the internet and you probably wouldn't do it really but........