Divorce Advice Required
Divorce Advice Required
Author
Discussion

newmember1

Original Poster:

10 posts

110 months

Thursday 31st August 2017
quotequote all
Hi

Posting under a different name due to the subject.

I'm petitioning for divorce on grounds of adultery (wife went off with someone after 8 months of marriage and is now living with them).

Advice from solicitors/barristers/judges/anyone who knows is welcome!

I have £150k equity in the house. Other assets worth around £50k.

House has mortgage and deeds solely in my name.

We've been cohabiting for 5 years prior to marriage.

I've paid all mortgage and biils the whole time. She used to contribute £300 per month towards stuff (£12k in total over the period). She also helped out with my business (shop work). If I'd paid someone else to do this it would have cost me another £12k or so.

What's the best/worse/likely outcome if it goes to court?

She's asking for £80k...

Many thanks

NordicCrankShaft

1,957 posts

145 months

Thursday 31st August 2017
quotequote all
Not. Sure. If. Serious.

Robertj21a

18,009 posts

135 months

Thursday 31st August 2017
quotequote all

Assuming there are no kids involved (?), I'd be tempted to negotiate her down to £40-50k and tell her that's the lot.

newmember1

Original Poster:

10 posts

110 months

Thursday 31st August 2017
quotequote all
NordicCrankShaft said:
Not. Sure. If. Serious.
?

newmember1

Original Poster:

10 posts

110 months

Thursday 31st August 2017
quotequote all
Robertj21a said:
Assuming there are no kids involved (?), I'd be tempted to negotiate her down to £40-50k and tell her that's the lot.
No kids. That was my thinking.

kitz

328 posts

207 months

Thursday 31st August 2017
quotequote all
I have spent a lot more than she is asking on legal fees, that's not including what I spent on my exspouse fees .You will end up paying for both sides .
My advice is try and negotiate down and if you can't reduce it pay her .
The lawyers will suck you dry and unwittingly or not make a fraught situation worse .
I found the process worse than a bereavement,I suppose in a way it is .
Cut your losses and life will improve .
Oh and by the way make sure it's a clean break divorce .

Amateurish

8,280 posts

252 months

Thursday 31st August 2017
quotequote all
newmember1 said:
Hi

Posting under a different name due to the subject.

I'm petitioning for divorce on grounds of adultery (wife went off with someone after 8 months of marriage and is now living with them).

Advice from solicitors/barristers/judges/anyone who knows is welcome!

I have £150k equity in the house. Other assets worth around £50k.

House has mortgage and deeds solely in my name.

We've been cohabiting for 5 years prior to marriage.

I've paid all mortgage and biils the whole time. She used to contribute £300 per month towards stuff (£12k in total over the period). She also helped out with my business (shop work). If I'd paid someone else to do this it would have cost me another £12k or so.

What's the best/worse/likely outcome if it goes to court?

She's asking for £80k...

Many thanks
Sounds like you are trying to do this DIY?

With min £200k assets in the balance I would suggest that some professional advice would be a good investment...

You haven't mentioned a pension.

PurpleMoonlight

22,362 posts

187 months

Friday 1st September 2017
quotequote all
Ignore the post above.

The adopted principle for a short marriage is that both parties are returned to the financial position they were before the marriage, and any surplus is divided equally.

You have a slight issue with the four years of cohabitation before the marriage where she contributed towards the joint living costs. This could result in her seeking a beneficial interest in the marital home greater than that the principle above. How long have you owned the property?

Has she seen a lawyer yet? If so, don't be surprised if they slap a Matrimonial Homes Rights Notice on your property.

Does she have any assets?

4159265

141 posts

111 months

Friday 1st September 2017
quotequote all
PurpleMoonlight said:
Ignore the post above.

The adopted principle for a short marriage is that both parties are returned to the financial position they were before the marriage, and any surplus is divided equally.
Thats what happened to some friends of ours.

She paid the house deposit, so had more 'in it'. At the end of the split they were both as they were before, she got the deposit back, the rest was 50:50.

Cohabiting for about 3yrs. No kids.

ETA: by 'the rest' I mean anything back from the house sale.

Edited by 4159265 on Friday 1st September 10:52

cheeky_chops

1,648 posts

281 months

Saturday 2nd September 2017
quotequote all
try to write down starting postion, whos put what in, sit down, bit tongue and discuss. It will be cheaper for both of you in the long run. My ex and i did this, she came out with slightly more than me as when we met i had a flat and she had a house. No lawyer bills coming to £5k each....

edit: obv depends if both of you are reasonable adults....

Dixy

3,655 posts

235 months

Saturday 2nd September 2017
quotequote all
kitz said:
I have spent a lot more than she is asking on legal fees, that's not including what I spent on my exspouse fees .You will end up paying for both sides .
My advice is try and negotiate down and if you can't reduce it pay her .
The lawyers will suck you dry and unwittingly or not make a fraught situation worse .
I found the process worse than a bereavement,I suppose in a way it is .
Cut your losses and life will improve .
Oh and by the way make sure it's a clean break divorce .
The saddest post I have read on PH.

rustyuk

4,724 posts

241 months

Saturday 2nd September 2017
quotequote all
Did she sign a document confirming no interest in the house? I I know the mortgage company insisted when i bought my last place without the Mrs on the mortgage.

JulianPH

10,084 posts

144 months

Saturday 2nd September 2017
quotequote all
newmember1 said:
Hi

Posting under a different name due to the subject.

I'm petitioning for divorce on grounds of adultery (wife went off with someone after 8 months of marriage and is now living with them).

Advice from solicitors/barristers/judges/anyone who knows is welcome!

I have £150k equity in the house. Other assets worth around £50k.

House has mortgage and deeds solely in my name.

We've been cohabiting for 5 years prior to marriage.

I've paid all mortgage and biils the whole time. She used to contribute £300 per month towards stuff (£12k in total over the period). She also helped out with my business (shop work). If I'd paid someone else to do this it would have cost me another £12k or so.

What's the best/worse/likely outcome if it goes to court?

She's asking for £80k...

Many thanks
I am sorry to hear about your circumstances.

Purplemoonlight has given you the best answer so far.

After 8 months of marriage the court would seek to put you both back in the same financial position prior to the marriage. This is very important for you as it give you the opportunity for a clean break settlement - which, trust me, you will want.

The time spent cohabiting prior to marriage is largely irrelevant to the court at the end of the day.

What are the other assets of £50k?

Did she contribute towards the deposit on the house?

How did she arrive at the £80k figure?

Are the two of you able to be rational about things?

Has she sought legal advice?

What available capital do you have?

Have you been asked to submit a Form E yet?

This is a case whereby you may benefit from coming to a sensible agreement whereby she gets more than the court would award her, but you pay less than it would cost you to go through the court process (when you include legal fees). You also would not have the huge drain this process takes out on you.

The reality here is she is likely seeing £200k on the table and wanting her slice of it, when for an eight month marriage this is simply not going to happen. However, this does not stop people pursuing such claims.

What I have said is based upon what you have disclosed. There may be other pertinent factors you may not be aware of.

The bottom line is she is asking for £10k per month of marriage before she left you. I can't see the hardest judge awarding anything like this. Try and keep this as stress free as possible though and if you are talking to her be as calm and reasonable as possible to stop things flaring up.

If you make a reasonable offer and she turns this down it will not reflect well on her in court. If she has already seen a solicitor (s)he will have already pointed the main point out to her.


anonymous-user

84 months

Saturday 2nd September 2017
quotequote all
Is the business worth anything?

Julian - would the fact they lived together and she contributed prior to marriage have a significant impact?

JulianPH

10,084 posts

144 months

Saturday 2nd September 2017
quotequote all
desolate said:
Is the business worth anything?

Julian - would the fact they lived together and she contributed prior to marriage have a significant impact?
I missed the bit about a business. This would definitely need to be factored into the assets.

The fact they lived together and she contributed prior is something the law demands the court to take into consideration, but the reality is it usually has no particular bearing unless we are talking about several decades.

UpTheIron

4,058 posts

298 months

Saturday 2nd September 2017
quotequote all
Did the business pay her for employment? Is it a Ltd company? Is she a director or shareholder?

anonymous-user

84 months

Saturday 2nd September 2017
quotequote all
UpTheIron said:
Did the business pay her for employment? Is it a Ltd company? Is she a director or shareholder?
According to the OP, no to the first one - not sure about the others.

newmember1

Original Poster:

10 posts

110 months

Monday 4th September 2017
quotequote all
Amateurish said:
Sounds like you are trying to do this DIY?

With min £200k assets in the balance I would suggest that some professional advice would be a good investment...

You haven't mentioned a pension.
Nope not doing it diy. Have met with a solicitor already, but just after more opinions.

No pension

newmember1

Original Poster:

10 posts

110 months

Monday 4th September 2017
quotequote all
PurpleMoonlight said:
Ignore the post above.

The adopted principle for a short marriage is that both parties are returned to the financial position they were before the marriage, and any surplus is divided equally.

You have a slight issue with the four years of cohabitation before the marriage where she contributed towards the joint living costs. This could result in her seeking a beneficial interest in the marital home greater than that the principle above. How long have you owned the property?

Has she seen a lawyer yet? If so, don't be surprised if they slap a Matrimonial Homes Rights Notice on your property.

Does she have any assets?
Property has been owned 7 years.

Yes I believe she has seen one.

newmember1

Original Poster:

10 posts

110 months

Monday 4th September 2017
quotequote all
Hopefully this will be possible, but I'm not holding my breath.

cheeky_chops said:
try to write down starting postion, whos put what in, sit down, bit tongue and discuss. It will be cheaper for both of you in the long run. My ex and i did this, she came out with slightly more than me as when we met i had a flat and she had a house. No lawyer bills coming to £5k each....

edit: obv depends if both of you are reasonable adults....