What do I do about this?
Discussion
I'll be brief
Going away end of next week, for just over a week. I planned to ask my OH to marry me. Have the ring sorted. Next piece of the puzzle was to ask her parents the question. I had planned to go see them this weekend as my OH is away with work. Perfect opportunity.
But before I could make the call to them this morning to arrange a time and make sure they were both in (they're about an hours drive away)... I get a call letting me know my OHs grandad (her mother's dad) has passed away this morning.
What do I do now? It doesn't feel quite right now to be coming in and drawing away their attention from whats just happened. There is grieving to do, letting relatives know and a funeral to sort...I dunno. It only really leaves me having to do it over the phone, mid-week when emotions will have eased.
Going away end of next week, for just over a week. I planned to ask my OH to marry me. Have the ring sorted. Next piece of the puzzle was to ask her parents the question. I had planned to go see them this weekend as my OH is away with work. Perfect opportunity.
But before I could make the call to them this morning to arrange a time and make sure they were both in (they're about an hours drive away)... I get a call letting me know my OHs grandad (her mother's dad) has passed away this morning.
What do I do now? It doesn't feel quite right now to be coming in and drawing away their attention from whats just happened. There is grieving to do, letting relatives know and a funeral to sort...I dunno. It only really leaves me having to do it over the phone, mid-week when emotions will have eased.
My OH would like it if I asked them. That is why. Plus her old man is quite the traditionalist (I am definitely not, but I have to concede somewhere and this is it, certainly won't be a traditional wedding). Anyway the topic isn't about asking her parents is it... thats up to me. I just wanted opinions on the situation.
Do you think even doing it later in the week is out of the question? Sounds like the funeral won't be until october (which is a really long time I thought!)
Do you think even doing it later in the week is out of the question? Sounds like the funeral won't be until october (which is a really long time I thought!)
Edited by Otispunkmeyer on Saturday 9th September 15:46
Monkeylegend said:
So is it a case of your other half has said yes in principal, sort of unofficially like, and asked/told you to ask her parents for permission to marry their daughter before you actually tell them?
What if they say no
No nothing like that. Its just a hint she dropped quite a while ago. She takes after her dad on these things. Just thought it'd be a nice gesture. I woulnd't be asking permission, just that I am going to do it and would we have their blessing. What if they say no
Edited by Otispunkmeyer on Saturday 9th September 15:51
Otispunkmeyer said:
Monkeylegend said:
So is it a case of your other half has said yes in principal, sort of unofficially like, and asked/told you to ask her parents for permission to marry their daughter before you actually tell them?
What if they say no
No nothing like that. Its just a hint she dropped quite a while ago. She takes after her dad on these things. Just thought it'd be a nice gesture. I woulnd't be asking permission, just that I am going to do it and would we have their blessing. What if they say no
Edited by Otispunkmeyer on Saturday 9th September 15:51
Personally I would maybe ask my/your other half as planned and speak to the parents after the funeral. It will allow them to concentrate on that and then hopefully give them something to look forward to after.
oilbethere said:
Pop round tomorrow and explain the situation. Might be worth having a quite word with her dad first.
Perhaps. Not even sure they'll be around tomorrow. Her grandad was in a nursing home so will have things to sort with them, sorting belongings etc. Also my OHs mother is one of 4 sisters who are all close and likely they'll now all be coming up stay at her house...so...gah! I think at best, I could take friday afternoon off and go see them then.....emotions will have gone down, most things should be sorted. It'll be less awkward.
Otispunkmeyer said:
Perhaps. Not even sure they'll be around tomorrow. Her grandad was in a nursing home so will have things to sort with them, sorting belongings etc. Also my OHs mother is one of 4 sisters who are all close and likely they'll now all be coming up stay at her house...so...gah!
I think at best, I could take friday afternoon off and go see them then.....emotions will have gone down, most things should be sorted. It'll be less awkward.
I'd leave it til Friday.I think at best, I could take friday afternoon off and go see them then.....emotions will have gone down, most things should be sorted. It'll be less awkward.
Otispunkmeyer said:
Cold said:
Think of it as an omen. Bullet dodged. 
f
king hell I knew someone would come and post that! haha
From an old fart's point of view, I'd suggest letting the dust settle on this one for a bit. If you're really destined to be together forever then a few extra months of waiting will make no difference. I'd leave it until a suitable length of time after her grandfather's funeral - which brings us nicely to the romantic dark nights of fireworks/Nov 5th or even the Christmas jollities.
Cold said:
Otispunkmeyer said:
Cold said:
Think of it as an omen. Bullet dodged.
fking hell I knew someone would come and post that! hahaFrom an old fart's point of view, I'd suggest letting the dust settle on this one for a bit. If you're really destined to be together forever then a few extra months of waiting will make no difference. I'd leave it until a suitable length of time after her grandfather's funeral - which brings us nicely to the romantic dark nights of fireworks/Nov 5th or even the Christmas jollities.
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