How do I interpret this/what does this mean?
How do I interpret this/what does this mean?
Author
Discussion

Tomm98

Original Poster:

39 posts

109 months

Wednesday 27th September 2017
quotequote all
Hi everyone,

I am sorry if this sounds obvious, but for me (I have quite severe Aspergers), it isn't so much so.

I was in touch with someone I knew from my old school on Facebook fairly recently. I was saying how I was finding my academic work a bit difficult and how I thought that I had 'no friends' and felt lonely.

In short, they got back saying:

'If you think you have no friends then you are wrong. Look up the definition of friend in a dictionary and apply it to people you know'.

I was a bit confused with this. They are not physically with me and I haven't saw them for a few years, so how could they say so certainly that I do have friends?

I am really bad with interpreting statements like this that are about friendships, so please could some people on here help me with what they meant?

Usget

5,426 posts

241 months

Wednesday 27th September 2017
quotequote all
You posted another, similar query recently. I suggest that you post such enquiries in the same thread, to keep them together. I'm sure people will happily give advice, but if you post too many similar threads, it may annoy people.

In this case I think the person in question is trying to be encouraging and motivational, suggesting that you look for friend-like characteristics in people around you, whether they are physically present or people you talk to online.

Second Best

6,535 posts

211 months

Thursday 28th September 2017
quotequote all
Remember that a "friend" doesn't necessarily have to mean a "person".

Subjectively, what are dogs called? "Man's best friend."

If you or your family have a pet dog or cat etc that you feel close to, then you can happily term the animal as your friend.

DonkeyApple

70,280 posts

199 months

Thursday 28th September 2017
quotequote all
Tomm98 said:
Hi everyone,

I am sorry if this sounds obvious, but for me (I have quite severe Aspergers), it isn't so much so.

I was in touch with someone I knew from my old school on Facebook fairly recently. I was saying how I was finding my academic work a bit difficult and how I thought that I had 'no friends' and felt lonely.

In short, they got back saying:

'If you think you have no friends then you are wrong. Look up the definition of friend in a dictionary and apply it to people you know'.

I was a bit confused with this. They are not physically with me and I haven't saw them for a few years, so how could they say so certainly that I do have friends?

I am really bad with interpreting statements like this that are about friendships, so please could some people on here help me with what they meant?
Well, I don't believe I have Aspergers and I don't understand what he means either. It sounds like he has read too many of those inspirational twaddle posts that mentalists publish on Twitter.

I shouldn't worry too much until you reach the point that you consider a dog to be your friend. wink

If you've moved away from where you grew up and are engrossed in work/academia then one of the huge joys of the modern world is that technology does help you find gatherings, societies, clubs etc where others are likely to share the same interests as you. There are also charitable endeavours that you can throw yourself into in the evenings. Helping others is very often a good way to help yourself. Plus, going to those things gives an important mental break from your work.

supercommuter

2,169 posts

132 months

Thursday 28th September 2017
quotequote all
The person is saying that that you have friends that you do not realise are actually friends.

How this person knows that, I do not know.

Bdevo3

478 posts

119 months

Thursday 28th September 2017
quotequote all
They way I see it is people have friends and acquaintances. Acquaintances are people who you speak to in passing, polite small talk whether it be in public or through work, sports a club etc. Friends are people who you look forward to seeing and spending time with whether it be once a day, a week or whenever. They also both listen and give advice and help you when you are in need. They may share common interests or they may not. It's the relationship between you and them. When you feel relaxed and comfortable in someone's company whether it be deep in conversation or deep in silence a friend will be there with you as comfort as you are

Plate spinner

18,084 posts

230 months

Thursday 28th September 2017
quotequote all
Maybe that person is telling you that they are your friend smile