Neighbour behaving unreasonably and unpleasantly...
Discussion
Grateful for a few pointers here before I seek advice more formally.
Elderly relatives are moving into an apartment that has been refurbished. A normal modernisation of a 40 year old home including new kitchens and bathrooms, rewiring/plumbing, some remodelling of walls/doorways etc. The work required did create a lot of noise over a 10 week period. The noise particularly upset one other resident in the block who complained long and hard to the contractor and to the council. As the work was being conducted during normal hours etc we assume the council advised there was nothing they could do. The contractors did their best to work considerately etc, and I don’t think that anything short of stopping work completely would have satisfied the complainant. Anyway, the work has been completed and the apartment is ready for occupation.
Now they are moving in my relatives have been subjected to some pretty unpleasant interactions with said neighbour who clearly is holding on to his grievance. They have been told repeatedly that they are terrible people for what they have done in disturbing the neighbours quiet occupation of his flat etc. Various other accusations (all untrue!) have been made. Yesterday this de-generated further with some pretty unpleasant name calling, to which my relatives did not respond. They feel threatened and are worried that the neighbour will persecute them after they move in.
My relatives are elderly and somewhat vulnerable. They are (frankly) terrified of confrontation. Given the established pattern of unreasonable demands, and increasingly hostile interactions, is there anything I can do to warn the neighbour that this must stop? Everyone involved has tried to appeal to reason and to draw any heat, but I can see that this is not going to work.
I would like to bring this to an end, so am minded to ask my lawyer to send a stiff letter to the neighbour stating that he is behaving unreasonably and must now desist. In order for this to be successful, some sort of heavy handed threat of further/legal/civil action seems necessary.
I would welcome PH’ers thoughts/experiences/suggestions on this. Thank you in advance.
Elderly relatives are moving into an apartment that has been refurbished. A normal modernisation of a 40 year old home including new kitchens and bathrooms, rewiring/plumbing, some remodelling of walls/doorways etc. The work required did create a lot of noise over a 10 week period. The noise particularly upset one other resident in the block who complained long and hard to the contractor and to the council. As the work was being conducted during normal hours etc we assume the council advised there was nothing they could do. The contractors did their best to work considerately etc, and I don’t think that anything short of stopping work completely would have satisfied the complainant. Anyway, the work has been completed and the apartment is ready for occupation.
Now they are moving in my relatives have been subjected to some pretty unpleasant interactions with said neighbour who clearly is holding on to his grievance. They have been told repeatedly that they are terrible people for what they have done in disturbing the neighbours quiet occupation of his flat etc. Various other accusations (all untrue!) have been made. Yesterday this de-generated further with some pretty unpleasant name calling, to which my relatives did not respond. They feel threatened and are worried that the neighbour will persecute them after they move in.
My relatives are elderly and somewhat vulnerable. They are (frankly) terrified of confrontation. Given the established pattern of unreasonable demands, and increasingly hostile interactions, is there anything I can do to warn the neighbour that this must stop? Everyone involved has tried to appeal to reason and to draw any heat, but I can see that this is not going to work.
I would like to bring this to an end, so am minded to ask my lawyer to send a stiff letter to the neighbour stating that he is behaving unreasonably and must now desist. In order for this to be successful, some sort of heavy handed threat of further/legal/civil action seems necessary.
I would welcome PH’ers thoughts/experiences/suggestions on this. Thank you in advance.
A course of conduct that causes alarm or distress can constitute the civil wrong of harassment. I can recommend you a lawyer who is expert in that field. You have to be careful about pouring petrol onto flames, but if this guy persists in his bad behaviour then a polite but firm letter might calm him down. If all else fails it is possible to seek an injunction to restrain bad conduct, but you should hesitate long before embarking on that course.
Before starting any noisy work, it would be normal courtesy to inform neighbours. In the days after my father died, my mother's neighbours, who had recently moved in and thus she did not know them, started heavy drilling. I went next-door and explained that Mum was recently bereaved. They kept the noise to a minimum and the woman next door came round with her small son bringing a card and a gift.
This is normal good-neighbourliness. In the above original post, pre-warning the neighbours is the usual behaviour, but I know not all neighbours do this. Many people have no contact with neighbours, but we will all need them at some time.
This is normal good-neighbourliness. In the above original post, pre-warning the neighbours is the usual behaviour, but I know not all neighbours do this. Many people have no contact with neighbours, but we will all need them at some time.
assuming that you didnt give him a heads up on what was going to happen over those 10 weeks i would say it is to be expected that he will be upset. is he retired and likely to have had to put up with it during the day?
if it were me, id take your parents out of the firing line by taking him a case of wine, apologise profusely for the oversight in not giving him an advance warning and how he can expect your parents to be great neighbours going forwards. if he reacts badly to this then you are left with the harrassment piece outlined above. i presume that already you have a declareable dispute on record should eithet of you wish to sell. if you do not, perhaps remind him that this unfortunate circumstance could be avoided.
if it were me, id take your parents out of the firing line by taking him a case of wine, apologise profusely for the oversight in not giving him an advance warning and how he can expect your parents to be great neighbours going forwards. if he reacts badly to this then you are left with the harrassment piece outlined above. i presume that already you have a declareable dispute on record should eithet of you wish to sell. if you do not, perhaps remind him that this unfortunate circumstance could be avoided.
Jag_NE said:
assuming that you didnt give him a heads up on what was going to happen over those 10 weeks i would say it is to be expected that he will be upset. is he retired and likely to have had to put up with it during the day?
if it were me, id take your parents out of the firing line by taking him a case of wine, apologise profusely for the oversight in not giving him an advance warning and how he can expect your parents to be great neighbours going forwards. if he reacts badly to this then you are left with the harrassment piece outlined above. i presume that already you have a declareable dispute on record should eithet of you wish to sell. if you do not, perhaps remind him that this unfortunate circumstance could be avoided.
Just to add to this I would tell the guy that you arranged and paid for all the works to be done.. Combine it with a load of excuses like was a massive oversight on your part.. Apologize profusely and tell him you've ruined everything for your parents now. Give him a few parting gifts to the value of a few hundred quid.if it were me, id take your parents out of the firing line by taking him a case of wine, apologise profusely for the oversight in not giving him an advance warning and how he can expect your parents to be great neighbours going forwards. if he reacts badly to this then you are left with the harrassment piece outlined above. i presume that already you have a declareable dispute on record should eithet of you wish to sell. if you do not, perhaps remind him that this unfortunate circumstance could be avoided.
That will at least mean the neighbor hates you, not your parents.
A few hundred quid and a grovel is nothing to pay for the happiness of your parents/relatives/other..
Edited by cat with a hat on Sunday 5th November 14:17
Breadvan72 said:
A course of conduct that causes alarm or distress can constitute the civil wrong of harassment.
Thank you - just what I was looking for.Pica-Pica said:
Before starting any noisy work, it would be normal courtesy to inform neighbours.
Yes - this was done both formally and informally, and is a matter of record. In fact the residents of the block (via their management company) all gave permission in advance for the works to be conducted.b
hstewie said:
hstewie said: Easy to say but have you tried just knocking on his door and having a chat whilst apologising for the noise?
Your parents have to live next to this person.
Lawyers letters don't seem a great start to that.
Yes - we’ve tried that. I agree re lawyers letters, but not sure what other options now exist.Your parents have to live next to this person.
Lawyers letters don't seem a great start to that.
Harassment is both a tort (civil wrong) and a crime, but leave the police out of it!
https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1997/40/conte...
https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1997/40/conte...
WindyCommon said:
Grateful for a few pointers here before I seek advice more formally.
Elderly relatives are moving into an apartment that has been refurbished. A normal modernisation of a 40 year old home including new kitchens and bathrooms, rewiring/plumbing, some remodelling of walls/doorways etc. The work required did create a lot of noise over a 10 week period. The noise particularly upset one other resident in the block who complained long and hard to the contractor and to the council. As the work was being conducted during normal hours etc we assume the council advised there was nothing they could do. The contractors did their best to work considerately etc, and I don’t think that anything short of stopping work completely would have satisfied the complainant. Anyway, the work has been completed and the apartment is ready for occupation.
Now they are moving in my relatives have been subjected to some pretty unpleasant interactions with said neighbour who clearly is holding on to his grievance. They have been told repeatedly that they are terrible people for what they have done in disturbing the neighbours quiet occupation of his flat etc. Various other accusations (all untrue!) have been made. Yesterday this de-generated further with some pretty unpleasant name calling, to which my relatives did not respond. They feel threatened and are worried that the neighbour will persecute them after they move in.
My relatives are elderly and somewhat vulnerable. They are (frankly) terrified of confrontation. Given the established pattern of unreasonable demands, and increasingly hostile interactions, is there anything I can do to warn the neighbour that this must stop? Everyone involved has tried to appeal to reason and to draw any heat, but I can see that this is not going to work.
I would like to bring this to an end, so am minded to ask my lawyer to send a stiff letter to the neighbour stating that he is behaving unreasonably and must now desist. In order for this to be successful, some sort of heavy handed threat of further/legal/civil action seems necessary.
I would welcome PH’ers thoughts/experiences/suggestions on this. Thank you in advance.
Unfortunately some individuals, see reasonableness as a sign of weakness and given attempts at appeasement have not had any effect, they sound like they are part of that group.Elderly relatives are moving into an apartment that has been refurbished. A normal modernisation of a 40 year old home including new kitchens and bathrooms, rewiring/plumbing, some remodelling of walls/doorways etc. The work required did create a lot of noise over a 10 week period. The noise particularly upset one other resident in the block who complained long and hard to the contractor and to the council. As the work was being conducted during normal hours etc we assume the council advised there was nothing they could do. The contractors did their best to work considerately etc, and I don’t think that anything short of stopping work completely would have satisfied the complainant. Anyway, the work has been completed and the apartment is ready for occupation.
Now they are moving in my relatives have been subjected to some pretty unpleasant interactions with said neighbour who clearly is holding on to his grievance. They have been told repeatedly that they are terrible people for what they have done in disturbing the neighbours quiet occupation of his flat etc. Various other accusations (all untrue!) have been made. Yesterday this de-generated further with some pretty unpleasant name calling, to which my relatives did not respond. They feel threatened and are worried that the neighbour will persecute them after they move in.
My relatives are elderly and somewhat vulnerable. They are (frankly) terrified of confrontation. Given the established pattern of unreasonable demands, and increasingly hostile interactions, is there anything I can do to warn the neighbour that this must stop? Everyone involved has tried to appeal to reason and to draw any heat, but I can see that this is not going to work.
I would like to bring this to an end, so am minded to ask my lawyer to send a stiff letter to the neighbour stating that he is behaving unreasonably and must now desist. In order for this to be successful, some sort of heavy handed threat of further/legal/civil action seems necessary.
I would welcome PH’ers thoughts/experiences/suggestions on this. Thank you in advance.
I would raise the issue with the Police. Harassment has been a crime for some time. A first step needs to be the Police giving them a warning. If they continue with Harassment after the warning they are committing a crime.
Breadvan72 said:
Harassment is both a tort (civil wrong) and a crime, but leave the police out of it!
https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1997/40/conte...
Why leave the Police out of it?https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1997/40/conte...
I would expect this sort of person to be unphased by a solicitors letter.
I would have a desire to get it on the record as soon as possible.
Gassing Station | Speed, Plod & the Law | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff