Gran hits burglar with garden gnome

[Mrs Fish]

ananova said:

Gran hits burglar with garden gnome A grandmother knocked out a burglar by hitting him with a garden gnome. Jean Collop, 69, woke at 5am to find an intruder clambering on her roof. She yelled at the man, then picked up a gnome and hurled it at him, reports The Sun. It bounced off his head, leaving him lying dazed on the roof in Wadebridge, Cornwall. Jean dashed to fetch her rolling pin and a camera, and then took photos of the burglar as neighbours called the police. Officers arrived to find the man still on the roof and half a dozen locals standing guard. Jean said: "I heard a crash and rushed out in my nightdress. I politely told him not to move and grabbed the first thing that came to hand, which was a garden gnome. "When it hit him he lay down for a while. I got my rolling pin in case. I didn't want to break another gnome."

[Iria]

I always knew there would be a use for those hideous garden critters! And since she has not used a pellet gun, she cannot be convicted ... mind you... that rolling pin...

[JagLover]

She will be arrested soon-watch this space

[SuckMyChrsitmas]

And if he'd fallen off the roof when she hit him, she'd probably be charged manslaughter.

[Iria]

she has already caused grievous bodily harm mind you ... I bet his mates will all be laughing at him being knocked off by a gnome

[FHCNICK]

JagLover said:

She will be arrested soon-watch this space

yes unfortunately she probably will, he was going to steal her tv and a few other bits but now she will probably end up selling her house to pay the damages this tw@t will claim

still 69 years old and can lob an ornament accurately enough to hit a guy on the head while he's on her roof...respect.

[pzero64]

Ha ha ha, hee hee hee!

[Mrs Fish]

Iria said:

I bet his mates will all be laughing at him being knocked off by a gnome

[lady topaz]

No no no, this is serious.
Dwarf tossing is now a criminal offence.

in a throwing sense i mean

[grahamdance]

Mrs Fish said:

"When it hit him he lay down for a while. I got my rolling pin in case. I didn't want to break another gnome."

[Mannginger]

Mrs Fish said:

Iria said: I bet his mates will all be laughing at him being knocked off by a gnome

indeed - almost as good as your "I like Cox" in the supermarket the other day babe!

Phil

[Trooper2]

The crook is lucky she didn't throw the birdbath

Good for granny and I hope she doesn't get takin' in for it. She probably just reduced the crime rate for her neighbours considerably,at least for a while.

[Iria]

maybe he also liked little Cox (apples) :P

[srebbe64]

A new way to protect your gnome, which dwarfs the previous system she had. She also took a few pixies.

[srebbe64]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

I thought it was fairy good!

[mrmaggit]

A man from the Gnome Office will be round later.

[srebbe64]

The thief is being treated by the National Elf Service!

[Mrs Fish]

srebbe64 said:

The thief is being treated by the National Elf Service!

[srebbe64]

I did have a pun relating to a "goblin", but in the name of decency I elected not to post it!

[Mannginger]

Folks I think all of this humour in light of this serious situation is pretty low. In fact it dwarves the bigger problem that this chap will probably only get a small jail sentence.

(I'm no good at this!)

Phil