Help needed with a friends drinking problem
Discussion
Recently it's come to my attention that a friend of a friend has started delibratly drink driving, not "just" a little but at the back end of a heavy night in the pub/round others houses.
The person in question is late teens and suffers from very volatile depression. I dont know this person directly only the face and their first name, i also dont know their address, or the VRN of their car to pass these onto the local bobby.
I have emplored friends to take some direct action indeed go to the police. However i fear this is falling on deaf ears (i'm hoping this wont turn into a sick pun), it seems that at the age these friends are you dont "betray" your friends.
I know the dangers of drink driving, but at 18/19/20 etc it almosts seems socially acceptable to them.
Anyone got any useful help, because the last thing I want to happen is a young life and potentially several innocent other motorists cut short.
Regards
Iain
The person in question is late teens and suffers from very volatile depression. I dont know this person directly only the face and their first name, i also dont know their address, or the VRN of their car to pass these onto the local bobby.
I have emplored friends to take some direct action indeed go to the police. However i fear this is falling on deaf ears (i'm hoping this wont turn into a sick pun), it seems that at the age these friends are you dont "betray" your friends.
I know the dangers of drink driving, but at 18/19/20 etc it almosts seems socially acceptable to them.
Anyone got any useful help, because the last thing I want to happen is a young life and potentially several innocent other motorists cut short.
Regards
Iain
Not a lot of choice on this one. If you have only a face and a first name, you dont have a great deal owing to the chap. Quick word in the shell like of a friendly BiB, and job done.
You dont owe him any loyalty.DD is not acceptable. Full Stop.
PS If you dont have any friendly BiB locally, I'd have thought a PM to Silverback Mike would work just as well. Location of drinking establishment ought to be enough, with name etc?
You dont owe him any loyalty.DD is not acceptable. Full Stop.
PS If you dont have any friendly BiB locally, I'd have thought a PM to Silverback Mike would work just as well. Location of drinking establishment ought to be enough, with name etc?
have any of his direct friends taken any active action so as to not allow him to drive at all once they see he is drunk? Sorry, it is a rather obvious question and they possibly do, but you never know. It is harsh to go to the police in the case of a friend, and the best they can do to avoid further evil if they don't want to "betray" him should be to "police" him themselves.
Strange that. When myself and my friends first ventured out into the big wide world in our new wheels, drink driving was a complete no no.
It was just something that none of us did - there was always a designated driver on soft drinks.
Afterall we didnt want to jepordise our hard earned licences.
In my experience (from working behind bars) the largest proportion of drink drivers are middle aged men who seem to think that cause they did it and got away with it in their youth it is still acceptable.
I would make it very clear to the person in question or his friends that if he does not stop it you will have no alternative than to report him to the BiB for his own safety and that of others.
It was just something that none of us did - there was always a designated driver on soft drinks.
Afterall we didnt want to jepordise our hard earned licences.
In my experience (from working behind bars) the largest proportion of drink drivers are middle aged men who seem to think that cause they did it and got away with it in their youth it is still acceptable.
I would make it very clear to the person in question or his friends that if he does not stop it you will have no alternative than to report him to the BiB for his own safety and that of others.
randlemarcus said:
You dont owe him any loyalty.DD is not acceptable. Full Stop.
In my book id be doing them a favour by getting them sent down for DD, least they stand a better chance of still breathing in 6mths time.
Problem is that my friends know im on to this and wont discuss it with me any more.
Regards
Iain
>> Edited by Chassis 33 on Friday 15th April 14:16
Personally, I would shop him.I say this based on personal experience. A friend of mine was caught for drink driving a couple of years ago and was banned for 18months iirc, that is less than could be because of the rehabilitation course thing. To this day he is glad he was caught (stoped and breathalised randomly to my knowledge). Would much rather that then running someone over, prison etc.
If you dont know him THAT well, then its less painful for you...
Its easy to say this from here, I know I would be stuck in a dillema as well! Good luck.
If you dont know him THAT well, then its less painful for you...
Its easy to say this from here, I know I would be stuck in a dillema as well! Good luck.
It sounds like he is looking to get caught.
Depression is serious illness and often manifests itself in unusual ways, excessive drinking and even in committing crime.
It's worth considering this when you make your decision, would he be prepared to get help? Do you think his drinking is out of control? You can help him in many other ways than just informing the police.
It's worth considering taking a look at www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/ and get him along to a meeting. There are people there that will have seen and done far more than he ever has and could be of help to him.
If not, he'll probably make his own way further down the line.
Depression is serious illness and often manifests itself in unusual ways, excessive drinking and even in committing crime.
It's worth considering this when you make your decision, would he be prepared to get help? Do you think his drinking is out of control? You can help him in many other ways than just informing the police.
It's worth considering taking a look at www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/ and get him along to a meeting. There are people there that will have seen and done far more than he ever has and could be of help to him.
If not, he'll probably make his own way further down the line.
chrisbr68 said:
Personally, I would shop him.I say this based on personal experience. A friend of mine was caught for drink driving a couple of years ago and was banned for 18months iirc, that is less than could be because of the rehabilitation course thing. To this day he is glad he was caught (stoped and breathalised randomly to my knowledge). Would much rather that then running someone over, prison etc.
If you dont know him THAT well, then its less painful for you...
Its easy to say this from here, I know I would be stuck in a dillema as well! Good luck.
I can second this, having been banned 15 years ago after many years of stupid ignorance. It def taught me a lesson I wont forget, with the shame, no licence and meteoric insurance when I got my licence back. If a quiet word of advice isnt heeded then believe me, long term you will do him and possibly other road users a favour. Some people need a shock and to be held responsible for their actions. It might just help his other problems too. Not easy I know but he must be brought to account for his own sake and others.
Good luck.
Tony Lady T's butler
I'm probably going to get shot down in flames for this one, I don't drink and drive myself but I can't see the problem if you are "laning it" out in the sticks to your home. If there are other road users likely to be around or you are totally wasted, it's a bad idea. If I was over the limit, I would be able to get myself and the car home having made the sound judgement that I was capable by my standards.
Out of the eye of the cop or the camera, I also choose what speed to go, whether it be faster or slower than the limit. As my grandfather said, laws are for the strict obedience of idiots and for the guidance of the rest of us. I resent being treated with a big stick.
I choose not to drink drive as I would be screwed without my licence and LOTS of people I know have been banned, it's drinking (100 cop points) and driving (another 200 cop points) they can't afford to let you get away with it!
Give hime the chat, if he's 'running the gauntlet' after a few pints in the middle of nowhere, give him the "is it worth losing your licence?" chat and if he is driving whilst pissed, shop him.
Just as there is Safe Speed, there is also Safe Drinking and Driving IMO. Call me a hazard to myself but I rarely ever drive after my own "Is it worth it?" chat to myself. Sod paying for taxis, I walk if I'm wasted.
Perhaps the guy needs to lose his licence to get a kick up the arse.
Out of the eye of the cop or the camera, I also choose what speed to go, whether it be faster or slower than the limit. As my grandfather said, laws are for the strict obedience of idiots and for the guidance of the rest of us. I resent being treated with a big stick.
I choose not to drink drive as I would be screwed without my licence and LOTS of people I know have been banned, it's drinking (100 cop points) and driving (another 200 cop points) they can't afford to let you get away with it!
Give hime the chat, if he's 'running the gauntlet' after a few pints in the middle of nowhere, give him the "is it worth losing your licence?" chat and if he is driving whilst pissed, shop him.
Just as there is Safe Speed, there is also Safe Drinking and Driving IMO. Call me a hazard to myself but I rarely ever drive after my own "Is it worth it?" chat to myself. Sod paying for taxis, I walk if I'm wasted.
Perhaps the guy needs to lose his licence to get a kick up the arse.
If his friends are true friends they would not ignore the problems that he is facing, but actively seek to support and help him. If he is suffering with depression he should be encouraged to seek professional advice. Once this is being dealt with his drinking should, hopefully, become more controlled. I don't think that AA is perhaps the right solution unless he is definitely an alcoholic and one who wants to actually face up to his problems and overcome them.
A few cautionary tales might work. I know of a soldier who lost his leg beacuse he rode his bike when extremely drunk and had a head-on with a Volvo. A sobering sight for anyone.
A few cautionary tales might work. I know of a soldier who lost his leg beacuse he rode his bike when extremely drunk and had a head-on with a Volvo. A sobering sight for anyone.
love machine said:
If I was over the limit, I would be able to get myself and the car home having made the sound judgement that I was capable by my standards.
This theory is flawed because:
"Drinking alcohol seriously affects driving ability. It reduces co-ordination, increases reaction time and impairs judgement of speed, distance and risk while inspiring a false sense of confidence....About one third of all drivers, motorcyclists and pedestrians who are killed in road accidents have alcohol limits above the legal limit for driving."
The Highway Code.
>> Edited by EmmaP on Friday 15th April 17:55
EmmaP said:
If I was over the limit, I would be able to get myself and the car home having made the sound judgement that I was capable by my standards.
This theory is flawed because:
"Drinking alcohol seriously affects driving ability. It reduces co-ordination, increases reaction time and impairs judgement of speed, distance and risk while inspiring a false sense of confidence....About one third of all drivers, motorcyclists and pedestrians who are killed in road accidents have alcohol limits above the legal limit for driving."
The Highway Code.
>> Edited by EmmaP on Friday 15th April 17:55
Whilst true, a small amount is shown to increace reaction times, etc, etc. ie:- positive effects. Obviously we are in no state to know where are biology is in relation to what we have drunk/eaten/metabolised so we shoud err on the safe side. I merely have no bones about someone who has had 3 pints, driving home from village 1 to village 2 on lanes at 2am. Obviously high speed driving on normal roads is a bad idea. I should have defined my points clearer.
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