Mate cheating on his missus
Discussion
So I just found out my friend is having an affair. I'd be interested in the PH opinion of what I could/should or shouldn't do.
He's married, got a couple of young kids. Apparently "relations" at home have broken down, so he's gone elsewhere for the nookie, but now alleges to be in love.
Full disclosure, I'm not a fan of his missus (nor her of me - tolerate each other is a good term), so if there were no kids involved, I'd be mildly morally outraged at the infidelity, but high-fiving him and offering to lug his telly out of the door.
Do I:
a) Tell him to pull his socks up, talk through the home issues with his wife and get things back on the straight and narrow.
b) Tell him to follow his heart.
c) Be quietly supportive whatever.
d) Over to PH...
For the avoidance of doubt, its my friend, not my "friend" and no, I don't have pics of either woman.
He's married, got a couple of young kids. Apparently "relations" at home have broken down, so he's gone elsewhere for the nookie, but now alleges to be in love.
Full disclosure, I'm not a fan of his missus (nor her of me - tolerate each other is a good term), so if there were no kids involved, I'd be mildly morally outraged at the infidelity, but high-fiving him and offering to lug his telly out of the door.
Do I:
a) Tell him to pull his socks up, talk through the home issues with his wife and get things back on the straight and narrow.
b) Tell him to follow his heart.
c) Be quietly supportive whatever.
d) Over to PH...
For the avoidance of doubt, its my friend, not my "friend" and no, I don't have pics of either woman.
It’s a lot to throw away for sex. Does he want to only see his kids every 3rd Saturday and pay through the nose for their and his ex upkeep? You show me a couple with 2 young kids who aren’t having less action your normally too nackered or one or other kid is in the bed rather than their own sleeping on your head!
Been in a similar situation. I was mad at him for telling me, I'd rather have been ignorant of the whole affair. Instead I became an unwilling co-conspirator because I couldn't tell his wife but had to speak to her often. My take was to tell him to dump the GF or tell the wife. Either way I'd feel better 
. I did point out that it was a pretty s
tty way to treat the wife who was a "difficult" person but not a bad person and he professed to love her still.
. I did point out that it was a pretty stty way to treat the wife who was a "difficult" person but not a bad person and he professed to love her still.Smitters said:
Do I:
a) Tell him to pull his socks up, talk through the home issues with his wife and get things back on the straight and narrow.
b) Tell him to follow his heart.
c) Be quietly supportive whatever.
d) Over to PH...
prior to these steps, I would assess the new woman and what her motives are. Is this a long lost childhood sweetheart, a lovely girl that could make him happy or the village bike? a) Tell him to pull his socks up, talk through the home issues with his wife and get things back on the straight and narrow.
b) Tell him to follow his heart.
c) Be quietly supportive whatever.
d) Over to PH...
if there is a future there, still go with A until that hits a brick wall, then C.
BoRED S2upid said:
It’s a lot to throw away for sex. Does he want to only see his kids every 3rd Saturday and pay through the nose for their and his ex upkeep? You show me a couple with 2 young kids who aren’t having less action your normally too nackered or one or other kid is in the bed rather than their own sleeping on your head!
Exactly my sentiments.Although technically its none of your business OP. Most people dont listed to advise, they do what pleases them
Lots of good points. G has a certain appeal, aside from the tumble off the moral highground and implosion of my own life. So, 50/50 on that.
Fair point on the butt out. When I say found out, I should say, I was told by him. So, in that he made it my business, I'm allowed to consider my response. Which frankly, I'm doing quite well at considering. My initial idea was ruder, more direct, and contained quite a lot of profanity. It's a difficult line to walk. I love my friends and I love knowing they'll stick by me, but I also hope that if I started acting like a proper cock-socket, they'd have a word.
Oldandslow has nailed how I feel. I'd rather not know. Now I do, I'm pretty pissed off about it. As far as I can see, not saying anything is tacit approval.
WHO THE F**K ARE YOU, BUTT OUT, AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.In the comradely spirit of openness and honesty:
Fair point on the butt out. When I say found out, I should say, I was told by him. So, in that he made it my business, I'm allowed to consider my response. Which frankly, I'm doing quite well at considering. My initial idea was ruder, more direct, and contained quite a lot of profanity. It's a difficult line to walk. I love my friends and I love knowing they'll stick by me, but I also hope that if I started acting like a proper cock-socket, they'd have a word.
Oldandslow has nailed how I feel. I'd rather not know. Now I do, I'm pretty pissed off about it. As far as I can see, not saying anything is tacit approval.
Frank7 said:
Smitters said:
So I just found out my friend is having an affair. I'd be interested in the PH opinion of what I could/should or shouldn't do.
I can’t be the only one thinking, WHO THE F**K ARE YOU, BUTT OUT, AND MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
Frank7 said:
WHO THE F**K ARE YOU,
I'm a mate of many decades, co-conspirator in a lifetime of memorable hi-jinx, amusing stories, parties, wins, losses and shared laughs. He's one of the few people in the world for whom I would drop everything for without question to go and help and believe he'd do the same for me. He's put his entire life as he knows it, along with my perception of his children's happiness** on the line, and in doing so, seriously unimpressed me. But, because somewhat ironically the chap I'd go to with this question is the chap in question, I'm asking a bunch of fairly random strangers because astonishingly, in amongst the turgid dross spewed forth from hairy-chested, powerfully build company directors, PH can actually deliver some pretty good advice. So there's nice chap, go and be shouty elsewhere please.- **Won't somebody think of the children. I realise that an unhappy home could be a worse place to grow up in than with a single parent, or ultimately two sets of now happy parents/step-parents.
Edited by Smitters on Friday 8th December 10:08
AyBee said:
Smitters said:
Oldandslow has nailed how I feel. I'd rather not know. Now I do, I'm pretty pissed off about it. As far as I can see, not saying anything is tacit approval.
He's a mate - why not just tell him you don't approve of what he's doing?How close a friend?
Assuming fairly close...tell him to buck his ideas up and stop being a c**t. He needs to be a man, be honest, tell his wife and face the consequences for his actions.
How do you feel about being mates with a total peice of sh*t? Do you still respect him?
FFS it's not difficult people!!
Assuming fairly close...tell him to buck his ideas up and stop being a c**t. He needs to be a man, be honest, tell his wife and face the consequences for his actions.
How do you feel about being mates with a total peice of sh*t? Do you still respect him?
FFS it's not difficult people!!
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