Appreciate help or suggestions on dealing with anger.
Discussion
Hi all.
I had a rather nasty encounter earlier with several mothers inside my childs school. They followed me for a few meters to shout at me but eventually left and I had no idea what they had actually said.
My crime?, saying "You're welcome", as I stopped at a doorway and they barged through without an acknowledgment. We all know that some people have things on their mind and can genuinely forget. After the tongue lashing I had from them, it would appear that the bad guy really was me, everyone else they barged through to get to me gave me a look of disgust.
Of course, strength in numbers is always a thing and on the way out, they were stood with arms folded, faces twisted in anger and they had accumulated a few blokes and some more female friends. Though this school is good, its catchment area is mostly an unsavoury place. After trying to ignore all of them putting their two pence worth in, I was blocked off and told to answer them.
"I said to you all, you're welcome, do you not understand why I said it?".
"I don't care, don't go shootin ya mouth off at me or anyone else"
"I stopped to let you all through and you all barged through, bouncing off me and I didn't hear one single thank you or sorry".
This is when several of them, perhaps rehearsed, started to try and imitate me with a stupid voice and putting most of what I'd said, back to me, mocking me.
At this point I shook my head and bypassed the white knights and their last remark was "you need to get a life and leave people alone".
AND they're right. I do. I absolutely need to figure out how I can ignore other peoples ignorance. I notice negative behaviour like this like a bull to a red cloth and I'm sick of it.
Aside from locking myself away forever or "manning up", does anybody here have tips or tricks to take my mind off the lack of respect people have for one another?.
I had a rather nasty encounter earlier with several mothers inside my childs school. They followed me for a few meters to shout at me but eventually left and I had no idea what they had actually said.
My crime?, saying "You're welcome", as I stopped at a doorway and they barged through without an acknowledgment. We all know that some people have things on their mind and can genuinely forget. After the tongue lashing I had from them, it would appear that the bad guy really was me, everyone else they barged through to get to me gave me a look of disgust.
Of course, strength in numbers is always a thing and on the way out, they were stood with arms folded, faces twisted in anger and they had accumulated a few blokes and some more female friends. Though this school is good, its catchment area is mostly an unsavoury place. After trying to ignore all of them putting their two pence worth in, I was blocked off and told to answer them.
"I said to you all, you're welcome, do you not understand why I said it?".
"I don't care, don't go shootin ya mouth off at me or anyone else"
"I stopped to let you all through and you all barged through, bouncing off me and I didn't hear one single thank you or sorry".
This is when several of them, perhaps rehearsed, started to try and imitate me with a stupid voice and putting most of what I'd said, back to me, mocking me.
At this point I shook my head and bypassed the white knights and their last remark was "you need to get a life and leave people alone".
AND they're right. I do. I absolutely need to figure out how I can ignore other peoples ignorance. I notice negative behaviour like this like a bull to a red cloth and I'm sick of it.
Aside from locking myself away forever or "manning up", does anybody here have tips or tricks to take my mind off the lack of respect people have for one another?.
Two things.
Beyond recognising that you here bad behaviour, recognise that you don't like conflict and avoid NEEDLESS conflict.
Second, find your crowd at the school. It's easier to go back when you aren't on your own. I don't mean"get your own gang" I mean have someone you can walk past the losers to go and see.
Beyond recognising that you here bad behaviour, recognise that you don't like conflict and avoid NEEDLESS conflict.
Second, find your crowd at the school. It's easier to go back when you aren't on your own. I don't mean"get your own gang" I mean have someone you can walk past the losers to go and see.
This sort of thing boils my piss too, I get irrationally wound up by unnecessary rudeness. I do the "Thank You" thing too, a bloke got s
tty with me a few months ago and turned round saying "What did you say to me?" I simply explained that I was returning his Thank you comment for me holding the door open for him, his response was that he didn't say anything, he then turned back around sheepishly and continued on his way 
tty with me a few months ago and turned round saying "What did you say to me?" I simply explained that I was returning his Thank you comment for me holding the door open for him, his response was that he didn't say anything, he then turned back around sheepishly and continued on his way My kids go to a private school and the mothers are just as ignorant there. In fact, go anywhere and most people are so self absorbed that they pay little attention to others.
I’ve given up caring as life is st enough without adding further complications in the form of bhy mums and the white knights who’ve caught a whiff of pussy.
I’ve given up caring as life is s
t enough without adding further complications in the form of bhy mums and the white knights who’ve caught a whiff of pussy.Hope that karma intervenes. Happened to me in Aldi the other day I asked the guy behind if he would like to go in front of me as he only had a pint of milk and I was buying festive booze. His reply not the usual that would be very kind of you, thank you. “Yes” That’s all he said. No thank you nothing. On his way out the milk slipped from his hand smashed open soaked him and everyone looked he just fled the shop without his milk 🙂.
Thank you for the replies.
It's not just school runs. I can't place a time or significant event in my life where I adopted this behaviour or mindset, but I hate that it gets to me so much.
The comment about my weight is another reason I always give way on foot. I've tried behaving as they do and it didn't work out well. The first day I tried fire with fire, a mother from the school tried to barge past and I didn't stop. She ended up doing a 180' and landed on her hip/bum, infront of her friends and child. Bloke behind me helped her up before I could and became very aggressive to me, still glares at me everytime I catch eyes.
I suppose there's no harm in trying to remain silent and ignore as best I can, like it has been said, there are more pressing issues and ignorance will never be corrected, nor is it worth facing physical altercation.
Counting backwards from 10 used to help when I had anxiety, I'll try it shortly.
Cheers all and thank you for the understanding.
It's not just school runs. I can't place a time or significant event in my life where I adopted this behaviour or mindset, but I hate that it gets to me so much.
The comment about my weight is another reason I always give way on foot. I've tried behaving as they do and it didn't work out well. The first day I tried fire with fire, a mother from the school tried to barge past and I didn't stop. She ended up doing a 180' and landed on her hip/bum, infront of her friends and child. Bloke behind me helped her up before I could and became very aggressive to me, still glares at me everytime I catch eyes.
I suppose there's no harm in trying to remain silent and ignore as best I can, like it has been said, there are more pressing issues and ignorance will never be corrected, nor is it worth facing physical altercation.
Counting backwards from 10 used to help when I had anxiety, I'll try it shortly.
Cheers all and thank you for the understanding.
Wobbegong said:
I’ve given up caring as life is st enough without adding further complications in the form of bhy mums and the white knights who’ve caught a whiff of pussy.
Although I don't have to do the school thing, pretty much this. I used to let people annoy me. Now I've stopped giving a ft enough without adding further complications in the form of bhy mums and the white knights who’ve caught a whiff of pussy.k, life is so much less stressful. I have basically accepted that at least 50% of the population are s, and leave them to it.I think It's all about managing expectations. My approach is to view everybody else as more like a herd of farm animals than anything else. When a farm animal does something stupid, aggressive or inconsiderate you don't get angry because it doesn't know any better and is too stupid to work out why it shouldn't have done it. You just laugh or sigh at their behaviour and move on.
It's much the same approach to avoiding accidents and road rage on the roads. Assume everybody else is an aggressive blind moron and you will rarely be surprised or caught out by what they do.
It's much the same approach to avoiding accidents and road rage on the roads. Assume everybody else is an aggressive blind moron and you will rarely be surprised or caught out by what they do.
OP, you need to stop expecting so much from people and stop caring if they are a bunch of tts.
You did the right thing (held the door for them) then they did the wrong thing (no acknowledgement) but then you did the wrong thing in bothering to confront it.
What did you think was going to happen? The kind of rude, self-absorbed people who barged through without so much as a smile in the first place aren't about to learn a lesson because you fire them a sarcastic comment as they pass. Shrug your shoulders, recognise that's how some people behave and if you don't like the anger and confrontation then don't incite it.
This may sound like a pretty wimpy way of dealing with people's rudeness or with confrontation but once you genuinely don't give a crap about people who behave like that you won't bother getting angry and if you do choose to confront them, you'll just be able to laugh at their responses and let them be the ones getting wound up.
ts.You did the right thing (held the door for them) then they did the wrong thing (no acknowledgement) but then you did the wrong thing in bothering to confront it.
What did you think was going to happen? The kind of rude, self-absorbed people who barged through without so much as a smile in the first place aren't about to learn a lesson because you fire them a sarcastic comment as they pass. Shrug your shoulders, recognise that's how some people behave and if you don't like the anger and confrontation then don't incite it.
This may sound like a pretty wimpy way of dealing with people's rudeness or with confrontation but once you genuinely don't give a crap about people who behave like that you won't bother getting angry and if you do choose to confront them, you'll just be able to laugh at their responses and let them be the ones getting wound up.
Hoofy said:
Damn. I was going to suggest that.Think how bad you'd be if you didn't meditate daily.
OP if you're a reader https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11350120-mindf... is very useful.
Joscal
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