Baby strongly dislikes being put down to sleep
Discussion
Any tips?
6 1/2 months old, very happy chappie during the day; mostly breastfed, rubs his eyes during his only bottle which is after bath and pyjamas, sometimes falls asleep during the bottle but mostly just very drowsy. Sleeps in same room as us, but about to change to his own room.
But as soon as he makes contact with the mattress you'd think I'd stood on his ballbag. Kicks off with red-faced crying which can only really be soothed by picking him up again. Put him back down, similar thing. Tried leaving him for a few minutes to get it out of his system, pickup/put down, generally the same.
Discovered that brush a thin fabric or t-shirt over the top of his head and down his face can calm him down and get him to sleep, but it still takes a lot of this to prevent him from crying in his sleep and waking himself up again a few seconds later. Can wake twice in the night for feeds.
Naps in the day are similar, but tends to fall asleep in arms and either stays there (obviously his preference) or can be tentatively transferred to a basket and rocked to sleep.
Probably less than half a dozen times have we ever 'put him down for a sleep' and he's slept on his own.
Are we missing a trick or is he just really needy when sleepy? Feels like being the trainer at a failed boxer's last fight - 'Stay down, dammit!'
6 1/2 months old, very happy chappie during the day; mostly breastfed, rubs his eyes during his only bottle which is after bath and pyjamas, sometimes falls asleep during the bottle but mostly just very drowsy. Sleeps in same room as us, but about to change to his own room.
But as soon as he makes contact with the mattress you'd think I'd stood on his ballbag. Kicks off with red-faced crying which can only really be soothed by picking him up again. Put him back down, similar thing. Tried leaving him for a few minutes to get it out of his system, pickup/put down, generally the same.
Discovered that brush a thin fabric or t-shirt over the top of his head and down his face can calm him down and get him to sleep, but it still takes a lot of this to prevent him from crying in his sleep and waking himself up again a few seconds later. Can wake twice in the night for feeds.
Naps in the day are similar, but tends to fall asleep in arms and either stays there (obviously his preference) or can be tentatively transferred to a basket and rocked to sleep.
Probably less than half a dozen times have we ever 'put him down for a sleep' and he's slept on his own.
Are we missing a trick or is he just really needy when sleepy? Feels like being the trainer at a failed boxer's last fight - 'Stay down, dammit!'
I'm absolutely no expert on this bu we do have a 7 week old in the house.
Wind - fine upright not so much lying down. Infacol has helped ours a little as does raising the head of the cot/basket etc
They're cold. Even though they are tucked up they have been held and have been warm. I find holding them wrapped in a blanket and then putting them down helps as the blanket is warm too.
Good god I'm giving baby advice what is the world coming to!
Best of luck
Wind - fine upright not so much lying down. Infacol has helped ours a little as does raising the head of the cot/basket etc
They're cold. Even though they are tucked up they have been held and have been warm. I find holding them wrapped in a blanket and then putting them down helps as the blanket is warm too.
Good god I'm giving baby advice what is the world coming to!
Best of luck
Had something similar with our first. Infacol/raising head of the cot seemed to help, but I suspect it was down to warmth (as already mentioned above!). We used sleeping bags, which seemed to help a lot. I've also heard that smell can be a part of it if they associate sleeping with being on you. Stick an old t shirt in as a sheet?
We have a six month old, and she moved to her own room a few weeks ago. She needs help (holding usually) to get to sleep, but will then usually stay asleep for five hours before waking up for a feed.
We had great ideas about putting her down awake, walking away and letting her fall asleep herself. It just hasn't happened though.
Other friends have said from about ten months they just started doing it. No special training or effort.
I think from bout ten months we'll start doing the cry it out method, but not overly fussed yet about the issue.
We make sure when she falls asleep, if in our arms, we wait five minutes for her to properly go off to a deep sleep before putting her down.
I'm probably going to get told we're encouraging all sorts of bad habits etc but it's working for us! And she does sometimes wake and resettle in the night herself, so maybe not so bad thing to do!
Not much advice in there, just my thoughts from someone in a similar position.
We had great ideas about putting her down awake, walking away and letting her fall asleep herself. It just hasn't happened though.
Other friends have said from about ten months they just started doing it. No special training or effort.
I think from bout ten months we'll start doing the cry it out method, but not overly fussed yet about the issue.
We make sure when she falls asleep, if in our arms, we wait five minutes for her to properly go off to a deep sleep before putting her down.
I'm probably going to get told we're encouraging all sorts of bad habits etc but it's working for us! And she does sometimes wake and resettle in the night herself, so maybe not so bad thing to do!
Not much advice in there, just my thoughts from someone in a similar position.
elanfan said:
Google Controlled crying.
Baby doesn't care if it's good or bad attention they get, they just want attention.
Don’t listen to this guy, of course babies want their parent, they can’t do anything for themselves. Whilst it’s likely yours has just got used to being settled to sleep in some way, just leaving them to it is not the answer. It is worth solving that problem though before its permanent, friends of ours still have to let their 4 year old pass out on them about 10pm before transferring, you don’t want to end up there.Baby doesn't care if it's good or bad attention they get, they just want attention.
Google pick up, put down instead. We used this method and from very early on had a nipper who would get put down awake and settle off to sleep. Staying asleep for the whole night was another thing entirely though!
Edited by rsbmw on Sunday 24th December 07:18
Feed the little one wrapped in the blanket that he / she will sleep with. When you put them down to sleep they won't feel a temperature change. Swaddling also worked very well for us- when they go through sleep cycles they jolt and wake themselves but swaddles prevent this. I think there is a recommended age limit - better check first
this little chap was a godsend for us..... SweetDreamers ewan the dream sheep ( https://goo.gl/3UvZKT)
Good luck
this little chap was a godsend for us..... SweetDreamers ewan the dream sheep ( https://goo.gl/3UvZKT)
Good luck
Edited by RHVW on Sunday 24th December 08:13
Thanks for the tips so far.
His bed is currently at an angle anyway, helps him if he has a snotty cold, and he's been like this since birth so I don't think it's reflux. He's fine horizontal in our arms (or in our bed for that matter, but he ain't gonna get too used to that!).
He's fed in his sleeping bag which is fairly thick so the only cold bit would affect his head/neck. He sometimes cries while being put down, before he touches the mattress, so I don't think it's temperature related.
Hadn't thought of the smell thing, will try that, although he is very adept at creating his own smells.
Bottle is swirled to mix so bubbles not really a problem, honestly think this is a mental thing rather than physical.
Have tried cry it out/pickup putdown but probably not long enough for it to become a pattern, will try that when he goes into own room next year.
His bed is currently at an angle anyway, helps him if he has a snotty cold, and he's been like this since birth so I don't think it's reflux. He's fine horizontal in our arms (or in our bed for that matter, but he ain't gonna get too used to that!).
He's fed in his sleeping bag which is fairly thick so the only cold bit would affect his head/neck. He sometimes cries while being put down, before he touches the mattress, so I don't think it's temperature related.
Hadn't thought of the smell thing, will try that, although he is very adept at creating his own smells.
Bottle is swirled to mix so bubbles not really a problem, honestly think this is a mental thing rather than physical.
Have tried cry it out/pickup putdown but probably not long enough for it to become a pattern, will try that when he goes into own room next year.
You need to decide how badly it's impacting you and your Mrs. Both of ours liked us to stay while they went to sleep. It was part of our routine, and now they're older I really miss watching them fall asleep. A lot of our friends frowned on our pandering to them, but in the long run its made no difference, other than I've spent more time with my kids whilst they've got to watch more eastenders....
ScotHill said:
He's fed in his sleeping bag which is fairly thick so the only cold bit would affect his head/neck. He sometimes cries while being put down, before he touches the mattress, so I don't think it's temperature related.
Hadn't thought of the smell thing, will try that, although he is very adept at creating his own smells.
We have a 13mth old grandson who we look after quite a bit and he's just like that - it's remarkable how he seems to be able to detect coming within a few cms of the cot mattress. We've tried the smell and heat things - heat does seem like it might help but I couldn't say for definite.Hadn't thought of the smell thing, will try that, although he is very adept at creating his own smells.
He has pretty bad reflux - is on some pretty hefty stuff to try and minimise it - and the problem with leaving him is he'll scream himself sick, people who have heard him scream say they've never heard anything like it. The snotty thing is a pain with him too - apparently they get a dozen colds a year and he seems to have them with very little gap.
We had a tough time with our own first daughter and with the second one I took a week off and we persisted with controlled crying and it worked but you've got to be sure there's no underlying issue.
It's been a bit of a shock for our daughter, she has a 3yr old daughter who has never been anything other than a marvellous sleeper.
blearyeyedboy said:
Google Andrea Grace.
Transformative when my daughter was 6 months old.
Worth the money she asks but if you're not up for that then her book is good too.
Ooh, that's interesting - once I had figured out you didn't mean Grace Dent, I did a google and found threads like these: https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/1549900-We-met-...Transformative when my daughter was 6 months old.
Worth the money she asks but if you're not up for that then her book is good too.
We're closer to Sauchiehall Street than Harley Street so will look at getting the book, but the more I think about what's happening the more I think it's a behavioury thing rather than something physical like reflux.
We sat with ours for a bit while she fell asleep, then reduced the time spent u til after a while we’d kiss her and tell her goodnight and she’d fall off on her own. There were tears along the way but keep strong. It’s a real pain in the arse at times but don’t give up, eventually they get used to it. We put the thermostat in her room every night as well to make sure the temperature didn’t drop below 19 so she was comfortable. Another year or so and you’ll be in the clear.
mike80 said:
We put ours in her own room fairly early on - about 3 months. She soon got into the routine of sleeping 7am - 7pm, and going to sleep by herself. Everybody was happy!
I’m sure that’s really helpful to the OP.Stick with it OP some great advice on here you will find something that works and you will learn to live on very little sleep. We had 4 hours last night with our 1 year old who currently had a cold and is teething a double whammy calpol and wine tonight (the wines for us).
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