The Daily Express

[TheExcession]

Bit of pub banter the other night about the media infatuation with Britney's bum,tum, where-ever, reminded of the timeless poem by John Cooper Clarke.

Thought some of you might never have heard it before, so here goes.

"You Never See A Nipple In The Daily Express"

I've seen the poision letters of the horrible hacks
about the yellow peril and the reds and the blacks
and the TUC and its treacherous acts
Kremlin money, all right Jack
I've seen how democracy is under duress
but I've never seen a nipple in the Daily Express

I've see the suade jack boot the verbal cosh
whitehouse, whitelaw, whitewash
blood uptown where the vandals rule
classroom mafia scandal school
they accuse - I confess
I've never seen a nipple in the Daily Express

Angry columns scream in pain
love in vain domestic strain
divorce disease it eats away
the family structure day by day
in the grim pursuit of happiness
I've never seen a nipple in the Daily Express

This paper's boring, mindless mean
full of pornography the kind that's clean
where William Hickey meets Michael Caine
again and again and again and again
I've seen millionaires on the DHSS
but I've never seen a nipple in the Daily Express

[MilnerR]

Very very good

Remember when Big Ron made his racist comments, the express delted the offensive word n***** but the independent decided that their readership could stand to read it. Forgot how much i disliked the express/mail

[minimax]

fantastic poem!

[john75]

Great poem

[TheExcession]

Glad you all liked it.

I forgot to mention that you need to read it in a punchy broad Manchester accent, Think Liam Galagher only with some attitude and intelligence.

best
Ex