Christmas gifts or landfill.
Discussion
I have mixed feelings on something swaying between anger and guilt.
My mother in law is a kind and generous person. There is not one bad bone in her body, yet today after going into the dining room for something, I am full of rage.
There is a corner of the room filled with a pile of unwanted s
t that she gave us for Christmas.
Some of the stuff - most of it belongs in the council thread.
Where do I start? This collection d' mede includes furniture. We are not newly weds. We don't need furniture. Pride of place a massive mirror with glittered edges! Our home is a large Edwardian house decorated in sympathy with the style in which it was built. Our hallway has old LNER carriage paintings on the walls and my wife's artwork. Where the juddering weeping begging for sweet mercy fk does a massive glitter edged mirror fit into that.
Theres the cheap white flat pack unit. Where is this supposed to go?
Our house is in a town. Big inside but external space is at a premium. At the back is a yard. We've done it out nicely with a small ltable, chairs a few pot plants and the walls painted in that heritage light green. With a couple of oil lamps it's a great place to sit on a summer night. So why the hell do we need! plastic !lightly
Up flowers and where in the name of all that is sacred am I supposed to hang a fking outdoor chandelier with coloured jam jars to hold candles?
The front of the house has a gravel drive for the cars and largely mature shrubs. It is dominated by a laurel bush that is as old as the house. So, naturally a brace of plastic bushes in plastic pots adorned with LED lights is going to set the garden off perfectly. I suppose the outdoor fairly lights can go in the laurel bush rather than the bin.
I've not mentioned the ugly metal table and foot stool made out of rope.
This has gone on for years. Every year.
I've tried the hints. I've tried plain rude like opening a gift in front of her and just saying nothing. I've had my FIL out for a beer and told him to make her stop. He just smiles shrugs his shoulders and changes the subject.
Last Sunday, there was a family meal at the in-laws. My mother in law tried to push more st. Apparently my sister in law has had enough and returned her st saying she didn't want it.
I find these gifts insulting. Its like she is saying "I don't like the way you furnish your home. I don't like your taste."
Then again, maybe she doesn't put any thought at all into her gift buying. Every year my stocking fillers include hair products and stuff like aftershave balms. I'm bald and I have a beard FFS!
When challenged she tells us to give it to charity or sell it on eBay. We haven't the time or the fking inclination to do this. Plus I'd not want to do business with the sort of tasteless moron who wants to buy a massive mirror with glitter round the edges.
Then I feel guilty. She spends a fortune on us. We don't want it. We don't ask for it.
My folks were very generous. Their generosity was coupled with consultation. They didn't just buy us random tat.
Anyway if anyone wants a free light up set of flowers, glitter mirror, tatty flat pack thing, outdoor chandelier or whatever PM me.
My mother in law is a kind and generous person. There is not one bad bone in her body, yet today after going into the dining room for something, I am full of rage.
There is a corner of the room filled with a pile of unwanted s
t that she gave us for Christmas.Some of the stuff - most of it belongs in the council thread.
Where do I start? This collection d' mede includes furniture. We are not newly weds. We don't need furniture. Pride of place a massive mirror with glittered edges! Our home is a large Edwardian house decorated in sympathy with the style in which it was built. Our hallway has old LNER carriage paintings on the walls and my wife's artwork. Where the juddering weeping begging for sweet mercy f
k does a massive glitter edged mirror fit into that.Theres the cheap white flat pack unit. Where is this supposed to go?
Our house is in a town. Big inside but external space is at a premium. At the back is a yard. We've done it out nicely with a small ltable, chairs a few pot plants and the walls painted in that heritage light green. With a couple of oil lamps it's a great place to sit on a summer night. So why the hell do we need! plastic !lightly
Up flowers and where in the name of all that is sacred am I supposed to hang a f
king outdoor chandelier with coloured jam jars to hold candles? The front of the house has a gravel drive for the cars and largely mature shrubs. It is dominated by a laurel bush that is as old as the house. So, naturally a brace of plastic bushes in plastic pots adorned with LED lights is going to set the garden off perfectly. I suppose the outdoor fairly lights can go in the laurel bush rather than the bin.
I've not mentioned the ugly metal table and foot stool made out of rope.
This has gone on for years. Every year.
I've tried the hints. I've tried plain rude like opening a gift in front of her and just saying nothing. I've had my FIL out for a beer and told him to make her stop. He just smiles shrugs his shoulders and changes the subject.
Last Sunday, there was a family meal at the in-laws. My mother in law tried to push more s
t. Apparently my sister in law has had enough and returned her st saying she didn't want it.I find these gifts insulting. Its like she is saying "I don't like the way you furnish your home. I don't like your taste."
Then again, maybe she doesn't put any thought at all into her gift buying. Every year my stocking fillers include hair products and stuff like aftershave balms. I'm bald and I have a beard FFS!
When challenged she tells us to give it to charity or sell it on eBay. We haven't the time or the f
king inclination to do this. Plus I'd not want to do business with the sort of tasteless moron who wants to buy a massive mirror with glitter round the edges.Then I feel guilty. She spends a fortune on us. We don't want it. We don't ask for it.
My folks were very generous. Their generosity was coupled with consultation. They didn't just buy us random tat.
Anyway if anyone wants a free light up set of flowers, glitter mirror, tatty flat pack thing, outdoor chandelier or whatever PM me.
Edited by Torcars on Wednesday 17th January 12:10
I have a rule with my folks, no gifts unless it's something that's been discussed
My dad gives me a 6 month deadline after xmas to find something I'd like, if not he pockets the cash and treats dear old to a nice day out somewhere
And vice versa
What I try to do is buy them a big present (big to me) like a ipad or laptop every three years, then don't have to waste money on stuff for the sake of it
My dad gives me a 6 month deadline after xmas to find something I'd like, if not he pockets the cash and treats dear old to a nice day out somewhere
And vice versa
What I try to do is buy them a big present (big to me) like a ipad or laptop every three years, then don't have to waste money on stuff for the sake of it
She's great with clothes. Ahead of my Birthday she will check with my wife about what I might like. She gets my dress sense and I'll get nice shirts or boots which I gratefully receive.
We say stuff to her like save the money, spend it on yourself, take a holiday etc, but no, she won't listen.
We set up an account for our neice - her granddaughter- when she was born and we chuck a couple of grand into it every year. MIL has been told, don't spend on us, put the money in the little'uns bank. She won't do that.
We say stuff to her like save the money, spend it on yourself, take a holiday etc, but no, she won't listen.
We set up an account for our neice - her granddaughter- when she was born and we chuck a couple of grand into it every year. MIL has been told, don't spend on us, put the money in the little'uns bank. She won't do that.
AlmostUseful said:
You ungrateful .
This, soz :P.Torcars said:
I've tried the hints. I've tried plain rude like opening a gift in front of her and just saying nothing. I've had my FIL out for a beer and told him to make her stop. He just smiles shrugs his shoulders and changes the subject.
Consider this from your dad in law's perspective... Going shopping for gifts is something that his wife (your MIL) enjoys and keeps her out of his hair for a while. He doesn't want to upset the status quo or the wife.Meanwhile think of something useful to do with the gifts. Re-gift, sell on, give to a charity. If the FIL has access to the receipts... see if he wants to return them. Just make sure the wife's OK with it first.
Unless you have small kits its s pain in the arse,
its become a tool for shops and shipping lines to hit sales targets,
most of the tat is sold in the same shops city wide conutry wide
mine are teenagers now and its only small electrical stuff they want,
when they are self sufficeint im going away at xmas
its become a tool for shops and shipping lines to hit sales targets,
most of the tat is sold in the same shops city wide conutry wide
mine are teenagers now and its only small electrical stuff they want,
when they are self sufficeint im going away at xmas
Its just something we all have to bear. I got a mug, hug and a rug this year. For the uninitiated this is a mug. A mug cosy?? And a square cloth coaster. All hand made except the mug. The dog got a hand made cardigan. 1 size too small. Poor sod was waddling around. Like me he tolerated it though as that's what you do with family. They aren't around for ever.
On the positive side you can rub the hair products in to your beard and the aftershave Balm on to your shiny bald head.
On the positive side you can rub the hair products in to your beard and the aftershave Balm on to your shiny bald head.
My only reluctance with charity shops is their reluctance to take stuff.
I've found them less than willing to take stuff in the past and it all became a massive ball ache.
I may have found a church that plans to hold a jumble sale - or whatever they call them now - in a month or two, so we'll be able to move the stuff on while helping a good cause.
Anyone know of charities who are willing to collect? I've a load of stuff from previous years up in the attic that needs to go.
The thread was supposed to be a mildly humerous rant but genuinely, if anyone knows of a charity based in the NE who can collect I would like their details.
arfur said:
She is reading this thread and browsing "The Range" website in readiness for next year
The other week, I went into the Range for the first time ever.Jesus wept. I mean, seriously? People BUY this s
te? <shakes head sadly>Anyway, OP... You aren't going to stop her, clearly. So the big question is - can they afford to give you this stuff? If so, then just smile and pass it straight on to the charity shop. She clearly gets pleasure from the giving. Sure, it's terrible value. But at least the charity will get something out of it, and it'll go to somebody who does want it but can't afford to buy it. Even if they do have hideous taste...
TooMany2cvs said:
The other week, I went into the Range for the first time ever.
Jesus wept. I mean, seriously? People BUY this ste? <shakes head sadly>
Anyway, OP... You aren't going to stop her, clearly. So the big question is - can they afford to give you this stuff? If so, then just smile and pass it straight on to the charity shop. She clearly gets pleasure from the giving. Sure, it's terrible value. But at least the charity will get something out of it, and it'll go to somebody who does want it but can't afford to buy it. Even if they do have hideous taste...
Yes you're right. After some research I now found another place who might benefit from it.Jesus wept. I mean, seriously? People BUY this s
te? <shakes head sadly>Anyway, OP... You aren't going to stop her, clearly. So the big question is - can they afford to give you this stuff? If so, then just smile and pass it straight on to the charity shop. She clearly gets pleasure from the giving. Sure, it's terrible value. But at least the charity will get something out of it, and it'll go to somebody who does want it but can't afford to buy it. Even if they do have hideous taste...
It would be good to see some benefit come out of it to a good cause.
Chris Type R said:
RC1807 said:
Just take it to a charity shop and be done. There wasn't any need to create a thread here about it.
Oh, and have a wk or something. You seem unncessarily stressed. 
Ask the MIL to give you a hand - it might temper the urge for further gift giving.Oh, and have a w
k or something. You seem unncessarily stressed. 
Torcars said:
My only reluctance with charity shops is their reluctance to take stuff.
I've found them less than willing to take stuff in the past and it all became a massive ball ache.
I may have found a church that plans to hold a jumble sale - or whatever they call them now - in a month or two, so we'll be able to move the stuff on while helping a good cause.
Anyone know of charities who are willing to collect? I've a load of stuff from previous years up in the attic that needs to go.
The thread was supposed to be a mildly humerous rant but genuinely, if anyone knows of a charity based in the NE who can collect I would like their details.
Not a charity, but Gumtree... Advertise it for something reasonable (I.E. £25) and take the first offer of £5 cash in hand. I've found them less than willing to take stuff in the past and it all became a massive ball ache.
I may have found a church that plans to hold a jumble sale - or whatever they call them now - in a month or two, so we'll be able to move the stuff on while helping a good cause.
Anyone know of charities who are willing to collect? I've a load of stuff from previous years up in the attic that needs to go.
The thread was supposed to be a mildly humerous rant but genuinely, if anyone knows of a charity based in the NE who can collect I would like their details.
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