Partner smoking is doing my f*ing head in....
Discussion
Grandad died of throat cancer cancer at 55 when I was 16 and I remember him being unable to speak etc. Think he only lived a few days once diagnosed.
Been married 8 years and for the past year it's been chronic habit. She makes a pack of 20 last a week or even two. Don't get me wrong I have done it now and then.....maybe 5 times a year but that's it.
It's always I'm stressed so I need a fag. What the hell kind of s
te is this? Slow suicide??
It eats into time which could be better spent in the evening, it's filthy, expensive and it stinks. She wears washing up gloves for fks sake whilst doing it.
I popped out to pay for a final pack of 20 to just avoid an argument. It's caused countless arguments.
At what point does a person realise in a relationship that short of shaking them you want them to pack it in.
Been married 8 years and for the past year it's been chronic habit. She makes a pack of 20 last a week or even two. Don't get me wrong I have done it now and then.....maybe 5 times a year but that's it.
It's always I'm stressed so I need a fag. What the hell kind of s
te is this? Slow suicide??It eats into time which could be better spent in the evening, it's filthy, expensive and it stinks. She wears washing up gloves for f
ks sake whilst doing it. I popped out to pay for a final pack of 20 to just avoid an argument. It's caused countless arguments.
At what point does a person realise in a relationship that short of shaking them you want them to pack it in.
Wacky Racer said:
My mother had thirteen brothers and sisters.
Nine died of lung cancer because of smoking.
Also:-
George Harrison.
Barry Sheene to name but two.
I do understand it's easier said than done to give up, but she really needs to try....for her (and your) sake.
Jesus Christ all of my grandparents died of death to name but four.Nine died of lung cancer because of smoking.
Also:-
George Harrison.
Barry Sheene to name but two.
I do understand it's easier said than done to give up, but she really needs to try....for her (and your) sake.
She really does need to stop dieing.
HannsG said:
Grandad died of throat cancer cancer at 55 when I was 16 and I remember him being unable to speak etc. Think he only lived a few days once diagnosed.
Been married 8 years and for the past year it's been chronic habit. She makes a pack of 20 last a week or even two. Don't get me wrong I have done it now and then.....maybe 5 times a year but that's it.
It's always I'm stressed so I need a fag. What the hell kind of ste is this? Slow suicide??
It eats into time which could be better spent in the evening, it's filthy, expensive and it stinks. She wears washing up gloves for fks sake whilst doing it.
I popped out to pay for a final pack of 20 to just avoid an argument. It's caused countless arguments.
At what point does a person realise in a relationship that short of shaking them you want them to pack it in.
Chronic habit? 20cigs in 2weeks? Not saying she shouldn’t give up but you make it sound like shes on 40 a day, maybe your hyperbole isn’t helping with the arguments?Been married 8 years and for the past year it's been chronic habit. She makes a pack of 20 last a week or even two. Don't get me wrong I have done it now and then.....maybe 5 times a year but that's it.
It's always I'm stressed so I need a fag. What the hell kind of s
te is this? Slow suicide??It eats into time which could be better spent in the evening, it's filthy, expensive and it stinks. She wears washing up gloves for f
ks sake whilst doing it. I popped out to pay for a final pack of 20 to just avoid an argument. It's caused countless arguments.
At what point does a person realise in a relationship that short of shaking them you want them to pack it in.
My ex used to smoke roll ups. As a non smoker I hated it the smell of it, and made my feelings on the matter very clear to her. But I had no effect on her habit at all. After we'd split up she started vaping instead (much more palatable to be around), and cut right down on the nicotine intake for a while. Then she started smoking again (as well as vaping), so that didn't really help her long term!
Since the ex, I realised that a) I wouldn't get in a relationship with a smoker again, and b) I wouldn't try to make a future partner change (not just smoking, but anything about them) - either take them as they are or don't get involved.
Then I started seeing a new woman, told me at the start she had the occasional cigarette, she was in the middle of quitting, yada yada. I took her on face value, but after a while realised that she was smoking more than just 'occasionally', and really making no effort to quit. I never mentioned my feelings about the smoking (except for once at the very beginning), or nagged her to stop. Eventually I called time on the relationship, although the smoking was only one of the reasons, and I still didn't mention it to her again. I fully expect that if I had, she would have miraculously been able to quit, or try to hide it from me. Then she'd be pressuring me to pick the relationship up again, even though I wouldn't want to, for all the other reasons.
Since the ex, I realised that a) I wouldn't get in a relationship with a smoker again, and b) I wouldn't try to make a future partner change (not just smoking, but anything about them) - either take them as they are or don't get involved.
Then I started seeing a new woman, told me at the start she had the occasional cigarette, she was in the middle of quitting, yada yada. I took her on face value, but after a while realised that she was smoking more than just 'occasionally', and really making no effort to quit. I never mentioned my feelings about the smoking (except for once at the very beginning), or nagged her to stop. Eventually I called time on the relationship, although the smoking was only one of the reasons, and I still didn't mention it to her again. I fully expect that if I had, she would have miraculously been able to quit, or try to hide it from me. Then she'd be pressuring me to pick the relationship up again, even though I wouldn't want to, for all the other reasons.
HannsG said:
Grandad died of throat cancer cancer at 55 when I was 16 and I remember him being unable to speak etc. Think he only lived a few days once diagnosed.
Been married 8 years and for the past year it's been chronic habit. She makes a pack of 20 last a week or even two.Don't get me wrong I have done it now and then.....maybe 5 times a year but that's it.
It's always I'm stressed so I need a fag. What the hell kind of ste is this? Slow suicide??
It eats into time which could be better spent in the evening, it's filthy, expensive and it stinks. She wears washing up gloves for fks sake whilst doing it.
I popped out to pay for a final pack of 20 to just avoid an argument. It's caused countless arguments.
At what point does a person realise in a relationship that short of shaking them you want them to pack it in.
A chronic habit Been married 8 years and for the past year it's been chronic habit. She makes a pack of 20 last a week or even two.Don't get me wrong I have done it now and then.....maybe 5 times a year but that's it.
It's always I'm stressed so I need a fag. What the hell kind of s
te is this? Slow suicide??It eats into time which could be better spent in the evening, it's filthy, expensive and it stinks. She wears washing up gloves for f
ks sake whilst doing it. I popped out to pay for a final pack of 20 to just avoid an argument. It's caused countless arguments.
At what point does a person realise in a relationship that short of shaking them you want them to pack it in.
chrispmartha said:
Chronic habit? 20cigs in 2weeks? Not saying she shouldn’t give up but you make it sound like shes on 40 a day, maybe your hyperbole isn’t helping with the arguments?
Have to agree. Me wife will smoke the odd one maybe half a packet a week. I hate smoking. But there is no mileage to be had in making an issue of it.
Nik da Greek said:
No mention of the fact smoking makes you look achingly arch and cool? 
On the bright side, smoking-related illness wasn't a problem for James Dean, for example. The OPs other half may well die of something else long before smoking gets her
James Dean was only 24 when he died.On the bright side, smoking-related illness wasn't a problem for James Dean, for example. The OPs other half may well die of something else long before smoking gets her
He may have looked "cool" in 1955, but today?, I don't think so.
Barry Sheene smoked like a chimney from 10 years old, coming off his machine at 175mph (twice) didn't kill him but lung cancer did.
But I accept it is an addiction, like heroin or alcohol, it's easier said than done to stop, and some people simply don't want too.
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