Anyone have a kid doing GCSEs this year?
Discussion
Eldest lad is sitting GCSEs in several weeks which is causing moderate family aggro hence Im curious what anyone else in this scenario is doing
He is not stupid, but is lazy
Mocks just after Crimbo after a whole weekend of revision yielded a safe string of As and Bs so job done as far as hes concerned and he's taking it easy rather than risk burn out, which is arguably fine
His ambition is probably to go to a university Ive heard of and do a course Ive heard of rather than dole, YTS or media studies at Wigan University
My own philosophy has always been unless the motivation comes from within its useless flogging the dead horse so leave him to it
His mothers philosophy is constant nagging and bullying to do your schoolwork/revision
She kind of has a point as unless he's kicked in the knackers he doesnt do a thing
He has a very comfortable life with nice family, decent holidays, lovely house, great friends and gets chauffeured around in a leased 335d
When I was his age I lived in a council house on a sink estate in a depressed mining town and so did a bit of (cheating) revision in order to get to university - I lacked the necessary respect of authority to join the army which was the only other ticket around to escape my roots
So how are you handling your own kids doing GCSEs in May?
My worry is if we adopt the missus philosophy and kick him into revising he will hate us, develop a drug habit and run away with the circus and her stress is that if my way wins out he'll do naff all as he has it easy at home and then drop out and run away with the circus anyway.
It would be so much easier if he had a crap life and wanted to better himself.......
Cheers
Our daughter is doing her gcses next year - but sounds like we’re going through the same thing just a year ahead.
She’s more than capable/never really had to work hard or study for module tests/end of year exams so far.
Because of this she thinks she doesn’t have to put in the study / hasn’t developed the work ethic others whom might have had to work that bit harder already will have developed.
We’re having a bit if a standoff at the moment (grounded/no phone/iPad etc) after several bits of bad behaviour at home and school.
She seems to think being “good” for a week balances out the recent/recurring bad behaviour - she’s in for a bit if a shock then !!
Agree re not having a hard/tough upbringing can lead to not having the desire/work ethic to better ones self. But conversely my parents made sacrifices to ensure I got a good education - they made the decision to cut back/my mum go back to work etc so I got to benefit from a private education. Maybe that is what instilled in me a good work ethic...
Apologies if it seems like a thread hijack - not meant to be. Just similar to what we’re going through just a year early .....
Hopefully the penny will drop with your eldest - and he’ll crack on under his own steam.
The one thing we’re hoping that might work with our daughter is the fact about having no regrets (what if I had studied that bit harder ....) and missing out on things she may wish to do.
She’s more than capable/never really had to work hard or study for module tests/end of year exams so far.
Because of this she thinks she doesn’t have to put in the study / hasn’t developed the work ethic others whom might have had to work that bit harder already will have developed.
We’re having a bit if a standoff at the moment (grounded/no phone/iPad etc) after several bits of bad behaviour at home and school.
She seems to think being “good” for a week balances out the recent/recurring bad behaviour - she’s in for a bit if a shock then !!
Agree re not having a hard/tough upbringing can lead to not having the desire/work ethic to better ones self. But conversely my parents made sacrifices to ensure I got a good education - they made the decision to cut back/my mum go back to work etc so I got to benefit from a private education. Maybe that is what instilled in me a good work ethic...
Apologies if it seems like a thread hijack - not meant to be. Just similar to what we’re going through just a year early .....
Hopefully the penny will drop with your eldest - and he’ll crack on under his own steam.
The one thing we’re hoping that might work with our daughter is the fact about having no regrets (what if I had studied that bit harder ....) and missing out on things she may wish to do.
Sound just like my parents. 
I was reluctantly badgered to revise and did well in my GCSEs. A levels I had more freedom and didn't do so well.
University, I was mature enough to start caring about my education, realising it's the final and most important step to getting a job, so top marks.
To be honest, if uni is the plan, I wouldn't worry too much about GCSEs or even A levels - they are just a stepping stone to further education and once you get to the next stage, nobody really cares about them for the most part. Everyone goes to university these days, top grades aren't a requirement to get in, but university isn't necessarily the best option and I'd strongly suggest alternative routes (though that does mean that GCSEs / A Levels become more important).
I was reluctantly badgered to revise and did well in my GCSEs. A levels I had more freedom and didn't do so well.
University, I was mature enough to start caring about my education, realising it's the final and most important step to getting a job, so top marks.
To be honest, if uni is the plan, I wouldn't worry too much about GCSEs or even A levels - they are just a stepping stone to further education and once you get to the next stage, nobody really cares about them for the most part. Everyone goes to university these days, top grades aren't a requirement to get in, but university isn't necessarily the best option and I'd strongly suggest alternative routes (though that does mean that GCSEs / A Levels become more important).
Question for me would be FSOW? From a practical purpose, GCSEs are the passport to A levels and extra info for an employer. A string of As and Bs sounds like it would be fine for those.
So why the need to work harder? Is it to avoid the risk of failing to get the As and Bs? Learning to apply himself for A levels? Or just a moral objection to laziness? Only the first seems really pertinent to me. In which case, I’d be focusing on ‘sufficient’ work not to slip back from those good mocks.
I think a bit of pressure/encouragement to set the bar at the right level to maintain that result would be sensible. Partly that’s because your son may find it hard to find that motivatation himself, since any ‘fear of failure’ has been diminished by some good mocks. But also he doesn’t know himself what it would take, so you setting the standard helps define it. Plus it also shows you notice and care what he does.
So whilst I am not a fan of excessive pressure, which can be practically child abuse (not in your case by a long way), I think creating the level of pressure/encouragement needed to maintain those good mock results would be a sensible stance IMHO.
So why the need to work harder? Is it to avoid the risk of failing to get the As and Bs? Learning to apply himself for A levels? Or just a moral objection to laziness? Only the first seems really pertinent to me. In which case, I’d be focusing on ‘sufficient’ work not to slip back from those good mocks.
I think a bit of pressure/encouragement to set the bar at the right level to maintain that result would be sensible. Partly that’s because your son may find it hard to find that motivatation himself, since any ‘fear of failure’ has been diminished by some good mocks. But also he doesn’t know himself what it would take, so you setting the standard helps define it. Plus it also shows you notice and care what he does.
So whilst I am not a fan of excessive pressure, which can be practically child abuse (not in your case by a long way), I think creating the level of pressure/encouragement needed to maintain those good mock results would be a sensible stance IMHO.
It's a tough one, I remember my 2 going through GCSE's, we didn't pressure either of them and just let them get on with it it, they get enough pressure from the school (who only care about league tables), and don't need us putting even more pressure on them and TBH leaning on them would have only made matters worse.
My eldest who wasn't particularly academic, knuckled down and did well, my youngest who was academic got lazy and self assured and didn't do as well as my eldest, but she did well enough.
Grounding, removing ipads and phones etc just causes conflict, it's a s
t age to try and map out your future when there is so much more going on in your lives at that age, I'm so glad I won't have to go through it again with other children.
My eldest who wasn't particularly academic, knuckled down and did well, my youngest who was academic got lazy and self assured and didn't do as well as my eldest, but she did well enough.
Grounding, removing ipads and phones etc just causes conflict, it's a s
t age to try and map out your future when there is so much more going on in your lives at that age, I'm so glad I won't have to go through it again with other children.numtumfutunch said:
His ambition is probably to go to a university Ive heard of and do a course Ive heard of rather than dole, YTS or media studies at Wigan University
Just a heads up. My eldest lad works in the media, doing media stuff. My youngest works for a media company (although not in a media roll, more finance). Not a single person they know within their respective organisations did Media Studies. No one.Those with degrees tended to do either English, or one of the humanities, history or geography mainly. Maybe politics.
Just thought that might be useful info. Ignore me if not.
My eldest son is doing GCSES this year, mum always nagging him, big rows where I’m more laid back about it. Something has clicked with him and he is now putting more time into revision. But this change in mind set came from him not the nagging. Part of it was the realisation if he didn’t get the grades he wouldn’t get into 6 form, he had his interview this week and has an offer for his 1st choice.
My only concern been they have told don’t stress about the grades we will work something out, me as a teenager would just kick back and take it easy from that statement.
My only concern been they have told don’t stress about the grades we will work something out, me as a teenager would just kick back and take it easy from that statement.
I did my GCSEs in 1999 but the following remains relevant
I got 1A*, 7A and 1B. I was, apparently, fairly close to several more A*.
I got those grades having done very little work. GCSEs are relatively easy. I thought I did well because I was clever
Come A levels, I did little work and got BCC. Somehow scraped into UCL through clearing. I thought I got in because I was clever
Did little work at UCL and took five years to do a three year course and even then only managed a 2.2
By then I'd learnt that I needed to work harder. Went on to a grad scheme and qualified as an accountant. And some years later went to medical school and now a junior doctor
A primary school friend always worked hard but was never top of the class. She went to an ex poly and did marketing. First job out of uni was 18k a year. She worked hard and is now marketing director for some decent sized company and has the lifestyle to go with it
Moral of the story is people who work hard will do well. Working hard matters more than grades. Someone who worked hard to get a string of As and Bs will do better in life than someone who coasted and got a string of As and Bs.
I'd remind him of where you came from and encourage him to do some work
I got 1A*, 7A and 1B. I was, apparently, fairly close to several more A*.
I got those grades having done very little work. GCSEs are relatively easy. I thought I did well because I was clever
Come A levels, I did little work and got BCC. Somehow scraped into UCL through clearing. I thought I got in because I was clever
Did little work at UCL and took five years to do a three year course and even then only managed a 2.2
By then I'd learnt that I needed to work harder. Went on to a grad scheme and qualified as an accountant. And some years later went to medical school and now a junior doctor
A primary school friend always worked hard but was never top of the class. She went to an ex poly and did marketing. First job out of uni was 18k a year. She worked hard and is now marketing director for some decent sized company and has the lifestyle to go with it
Moral of the story is people who work hard will do well. Working hard matters more than grades. Someone who worked hard to get a string of As and Bs will do better in life than someone who coasted and got a string of As and Bs.
I'd remind him of where you came from and encourage him to do some work
I was nagged and pressured into 'doing well' at school, and it had the opposite effect. I didn't do badly (mixture of A and B grades) but my parents disappointment was evident as soon as I told them my results, which sent me even further the other way. The problem was that my brother at the time was doing a law degree and so they were wanting me to go the same way. Whereas all I wanted to do was get into work and get earning.
12 years later I'm doing ok, and my brother dropped out of uni and has been unemployed ever since!
Let him do his own thing, but be supportive of how he does it.
12 years later I'm doing ok, and my brother dropped out of uni and has been unemployed ever since!
Let him do his own thing, but be supportive of how he does it.
OP - We are in a similar position to you, but both me and the Mrs take your view and encourage her but leave the amount and a time of work up to her.
One thing we did that may help. Now you know his projected grades offer a financial incentive for each subject he meets or exceeds the projection.
One thing we did that may help. Now you know his projected grades offer a financial incentive for each subject he meets or exceeds the projection.
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