Invited to stag do but not wedding - thoughts?
Discussion
I grew up with 3 brothers from around 7 years old as we were all in Cubs, Scouts and Ventures till I was around 20 when I had moved away through Uni and work. But I kept in touch with the eldest brother and now see him regularly (I was best man at his wedding) and occasionally bump into the other two brothers.
The eldest brother announced the other week that he is best man to the youngest brother as he is getting married and could I come to the stag do which is cliff climbing and zip wires in Wales at end of May.
I have said yes, but it's occurred to me that there hasn't been a wedding invite forthcoming and don't appear to have been invited.
Am I right to feel a bit aggrieved about this given all the brothers came to my wedding?
The eldest brother announced the other week that he is best man to the youngest brother as he is getting married and could I come to the stag do which is cliff climbing and zip wires in Wales at end of May.
I have said yes, but it's occurred to me that there hasn't been a wedding invite forthcoming and don't appear to have been invited.
Am I right to feel a bit aggrieved about this given all the brothers came to my wedding?
By your own admission you haven't bothered to keep in touch, so I'm not sure why you would expect to be invited anyway.
Pragmatically speaking the stag is the fun bit so I'd go along and enjoy yourself for the weekend, and not worry too much about missing the tedious wedding part of it.
Pragmatically speaking the stag is the fun bit so I'd go along and enjoy yourself for the weekend, and not worry too much about missing the tedious wedding part of it.
warp9 said:
I grew up with 3 brothers from around 7 years old as we were all in Cubs, Scouts and Ventures till I was around 20 when I had moved away through Uni and work. But I kept in touch with the eldest brother and now see him regularly (I was best man at his wedding) and occasionally bump into the other two brothers.
The eldest brother announced the other week that he is best man to the youngest brother as he is getting married and could I come to the stag do which is cliff climbing and zip wires in Wales at end of May.
I have said yes, but it's occurred to me that there hasn't been a wedding invite forthcoming and don't appear to have been invited.
Am I right to feel a bit aggrieved about this given all the brothers came to my wedding?
I wouldn't gripe too much, the last stag I went to a number of the guys weren't invited to the wedding and had no issue.The eldest brother announced the other week that he is best man to the youngest brother as he is getting married and could I come to the stag do which is cliff climbing and zip wires in Wales at end of May.
I have said yes, but it's occurred to me that there hasn't been a wedding invite forthcoming and don't appear to have been invited.
Am I right to feel a bit aggrieved about this given all the brothers came to my wedding?
As said the Stag is the best bit!
I'm in the middle of planning a wedding with my partner, we're inviting around 90-100 guests (Day and night) but we'll easily fill that and unfortunately there will be people at the hen and stags that we can't invite and I'm certainly not spending more money to just please them!
It’s poor form. It depends how much you think you’ll enjoy the stag do and how much it’s going to cost you to go. I’ve been on 2 (very expensive, Barcelona and Marbella) stag do’s over the last couple of years and everyone there was invited to the full wedding.
Also been on a couple of others but always at least had an invite to the evening do.
Also been on a couple of others but always at least had an invite to the evening do.
I had 3 stag do's, and the idea was that if people couldn't come to one they could come to the other. It also meant people I couldn't invite because of the cost could also at least join in with some of the fun.
We got married in Ireland, and it was a bit much to ask for people to fly over just to be an evening guest, and no one - to my face anyway - complained about it.
Just go for the stag, it could be that they haven't finalised invitations yet so you may even get an evening invite.
We got married in Ireland, and it was a bit much to ask for people to fly over just to be an evening guest, and no one - to my face anyway - complained about it.
Just go for the stag, it could be that they haven't finalised invitations yet so you may even get an evening invite.
matthias73 said:
Maybe you'll be invited to the wedding if you go?
Maybe you should call him and congratulate him on his forthcoming marriage and let him know you'll turn up to his stag do with a litre of whiskey and a waterproof camera?
Could be a good opportunity to get back in touch properly.
A camera? At a stag do? The rules must have changed since I last did one.Maybe you should call him and congratulate him on his forthcoming marriage and let him know you'll turn up to his stag do with a litre of whiskey and a waterproof camera?
Could be a good opportunity to get back in touch properly.
This is common, they might be having a small wedding for close family members, or his wife simply might not like you...who cares...its THEIR big day so their rules
Blimey i'd be over the moon if I was only invited to the stag do
No need to cry about it MTFU and book the coke and hookers
Blimey i'd be over the moon if I was only invited to the stag do
No need to cry about it MTFU and book the coke and hookers
OK, I'll suck it up and crack on with the stag do!
I actually like weddings, I was also quite close to his parents and there will be a bunch of other people I've lost touch with, so would have been nice to catch up with them. Saying that, I won't miss having to mess around with accommodation and worrying about my wife and young son who won't know anyone.
I actually like weddings, I was also quite close to his parents and there will be a bunch of other people I've lost touch with, so would have been nice to catch up with them. Saying that, I won't miss having to mess around with accommodation and worrying about my wife and young son who won't know anyone.
warp9 said:
OK, I'll suck it up and crack on with the stag do!
I actually like weddings, I was also quite close to his parents and there will be a bunch of other people I've lost touch with, so would have been nice to catch up with them. Saying that, I won't miss having to mess around with accommodation and worrying about my wife and young son who won't know anyone.
Do the stag and be glad you don't have the costs of the wedding to go with it. If you really want to see people you can always sound out the 'drop by the reception in the evening' vote. All but one wedding i have been to recently there was no way in hell the venues would know who was and was not invited to the evening do and extras had been brought in (In one case half the bar down the road that we had got pissed with the night before!)I actually like weddings, I was also quite close to his parents and there will be a bunch of other people I've lost touch with, so would have been nice to catch up with them. Saying that, I won't miss having to mess around with accommodation and worrying about my wife and young son who won't know anyone.
A good friend is getting married this year and even with a no children rule is having to be brutal with the guest list to keep it below 75. Right now if you haven't been close, speak to them every few months or more often, mates with them for over 20 years it's unlikely you'll get an invite...
Stag: "I fancy inviting warp9 to the wedding"
Stag's fiancee "who is he, have I met him, when did you last see him?
Stag: "childhood friend, no, yonks ago"
Stag's fiancee: "he's not coming to the wedding"
We had this discussion on both sides - some people are great to party with but not that close to you that you can spend £100/head on the wedding else the cost escalates.
Stag's fiancee "who is he, have I met him, when did you last see him?
Stag: "childhood friend, no, yonks ago"
Stag's fiancee: "he's not coming to the wedding"
We had this discussion on both sides - some people are great to party with but not that close to you that you can spend £100/head on the wedding else the cost escalates.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff