My dad's got cancer :(
Discussion
My 63 year old dad told me last week that he had prostate cancer. Today he went for a nuclear bone scan and this evening found out it's advanced prostate cancer, which has spread to the hip, a bit in the rib and bit in the spine. It's classes as stage 4, with a Gleason score of 8.
We've been told tonight that with treatment he will have "years but probably not decades"
Not really sure why I'm sharing this, but I've been in bits all evening. Having done my own research it seems he'll have an average of 21 months, with a 29% chance of making it to 5 years. He's just starting hormone therapy and will be undergoing chemotherapy. I can't lose my dad yet. In a week he's gone from fighting to this.
Has anyone else been through this, and offer any advice?
We've been told tonight that with treatment he will have "years but probably not decades"
Not really sure why I'm sharing this, but I've been in bits all evening. Having done my own research it seems he'll have an average of 21 months, with a 29% chance of making it to 5 years. He's just starting hormone therapy and will be undergoing chemotherapy. I can't lose my dad yet. In a week he's gone from fighting to this.
Has anyone else been through this, and offer any advice?
Edited by S100HP on Wednesday 28th March 00:25
Edited by S100HP on Wednesday 28th March 11:03
Sorry to hear this, I lost my Dad to cancer so it's a subject close to my heart.
I honestly don't know how the system works but ask about clinical trials for new cancer drugs, some of the stuff being developed can prolong life from months to years and beyond.
Best wishes and stay strong for your Dad.
I honestly don't know how the system works but ask about clinical trials for new cancer drugs, some of the stuff being developed can prolong life from months to years and beyond.
Best wishes and stay strong for your Dad.
5 years ago on this Saturday my dad died.
He had prostate cancer but it wasn't that that killed him, it was his stubborness to bother doctors over anything as he didn't want to 'waste their time'. He had trouble keeping food down and gradually ate less & less.
He had a blockage in his kidney 'pipes' (dunno what you call them) which backed up his system and ultimately caused multiple organ failure. He went into hospital on the 19th March, quite healthy but unable to piss. They catheterised 500ml from his bladder and when he puked up a sandwich I bought him they decided to keep him in... 2-3 days later he couldn't raise his arms off the bed. He died 12 days later.
I'm not up with current treatments with PC but I would urge your dad to keep an eye on any other problems and get them checked immediately.
He had prostate cancer but it wasn't that that killed him, it was his stubborness to bother doctors over anything as he didn't want to 'waste their time'. He had trouble keeping food down and gradually ate less & less.
He had a blockage in his kidney 'pipes' (dunno what you call them) which backed up his system and ultimately caused multiple organ failure. He went into hospital on the 19th March, quite healthy but unable to piss. They catheterised 500ml from his bladder and when he puked up a sandwich I bought him they decided to keep him in... 2-3 days later he couldn't raise his arms off the bed. He died 12 days later.
I'm not up with current treatments with PC but I would urge your dad to keep an eye on any other problems and get them checked immediately.
I am very sorry to hear your news.
I found out 2 years ago that my dad had pleura mesothelioma. I read all of the stuff on the internet and I thought that he did not have that long left to live, but he is still alive today and doing very well.
I hope that the same thing happens to your dad.
My father-in-law passed away just over a month ago. He was only 72.
His liver was in a bad way because of haemochromatosis and then he was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma with one of the nodules in a place that they could not operate, so he had chemotherapy and within 3 weeks he had died as it was just too much for his body.
I don't know what your relationship is like with your dad, but I have found that my dad's diagnosis has helped bring me closer to him.
I found out 2 years ago that my dad had pleura mesothelioma. I read all of the stuff on the internet and I thought that he did not have that long left to live, but he is still alive today and doing very well.
I hope that the same thing happens to your dad.
My father-in-law passed away just over a month ago. He was only 72.
His liver was in a bad way because of haemochromatosis and then he was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma with one of the nodules in a place that they could not operate, so he had chemotherapy and within 3 weeks he had died as it was just too much for his body.
I don't know what your relationship is like with your dad, but I have found that my dad's diagnosis has helped bring me closer to him.
Sorry to hear this.
Unbelievable what the medical profession and the angels that work within it can do these days. I lost my Dad at 72 14 years ago (increasingly worse strokes and worsening Parkinsons) and my mum suddenly from a rare heart failure 16 years ago.
I say this as a comparison - Uncle had a stroke early last year, apparently quite a bad one - but modern medicine has brought him back to full health and functionality.
Your Dad is in excellent hands, the best hands in fact, and I wish him all the best. What I will say is do not forget yourself in all this, he will be looking to you for support and to be a rock, so in true aircraft safety briefing style, "put your own mask on first", watch for changes in your own behaviour and reactions to things - I didn't and became quite unpredictable during my awful times - and anything noticeable talk to someone about it.
More angels lurk in the "talking things through" profession too, which benefits everyone.
Once again just my experience, wish you and yours all the best.
Unbelievable what the medical profession and the angels that work within it can do these days. I lost my Dad at 72 14 years ago (increasingly worse strokes and worsening Parkinsons) and my mum suddenly from a rare heart failure 16 years ago.
I say this as a comparison - Uncle had a stroke early last year, apparently quite a bad one - but modern medicine has brought him back to full health and functionality.
Your Dad is in excellent hands, the best hands in fact, and I wish him all the best. What I will say is do not forget yourself in all this, he will be looking to you for support and to be a rock, so in true aircraft safety briefing style, "put your own mask on first", watch for changes in your own behaviour and reactions to things - I didn't and became quite unpredictable during my awful times - and anything noticeable talk to someone about it.
More angels lurk in the "talking things through" profession too, which benefits everyone.
Once again just my experience, wish you and yours all the best.
My dad was told at 74 he had it, and had around 3 years.
He decided to move to Malta to see out his last days in a nice climate.
He was fine for about four years, fit as a fiddle, and then it accelerated to his bones when he was 78/9, then spread very quickly the last three months, died a month before his 80th birthday... I was at his bedside when he died in 2004.
His brother and his son, (my cousin) died of PC also....son was 50.
All the best to your dad.....treatment is a lot better these days.
He decided to move to Malta to see out his last days in a nice climate.
He was fine for about four years, fit as a fiddle, and then it accelerated to his bones when he was 78/9, then spread very quickly the last three months, died a month before his 80th birthday... I was at his bedside when he died in 2004.
His brother and his son, (my cousin) died of PC also....son was 50.
All the best to your dad.....treatment is a lot better these days.
My dad had Prostate Cancer last year at 78. Fortunately after six weeks of Radiotherapy and Hormone treatment he's recovered. He's on hormone therapy for another year or so which is making him Ill but he's mostly ok. He is nearly 80 now but does well.
However my son, who is 8 years old, developed tonsillitis that wouldn't clear up and left the ENT people baffled. After going back and forth a few times it was determined that he had Lymphoma and is currently on his third of six rounds of chemo. He's a laid back chap though and we're optimistic.
I can't print my exact feelings about cancer on a public forum as I wouldn't wish to offend anyone.
OP, I wish you and your dad all the best.
However my son, who is 8 years old, developed tonsillitis that wouldn't clear up and left the ENT people baffled. After going back and forth a few times it was determined that he had Lymphoma and is currently on his third of six rounds of chemo. He's a laid back chap though and we're optimistic.
I can't print my exact feelings about cancer on a public forum as I wouldn't wish to offend anyone.
OP, I wish you and your dad all the best.
Lost my mum to Cancer. Right upto a few days before she died the doctors would not diagnose her and when challenged refused to say it was the big C. In the end it was the Macmillian Nurse's who finally confirmed what we already new. By then it was too late though, she was gone within the week.
Those Macmillian Nurses are worth there weight in gold.
Those Macmillian Nurses are worth there weight in gold.
FIL was diagnosed in Feb last year with what sounds very similar to your father's conditions. He had chemo and hormone therapy and his initial diagnosis of 18 months to live has now turned into 5 years +. The treatment sounds very similar that of Colognes above.
Have faith in the skills of the oncologists; modern medicine can work wonders and it may stave cancer off long enough so that he can see out his days at his pace rather than cancers.
Good luck OP – look after yourself as well as your dad.
Have faith in the skills of the oncologists; modern medicine can work wonders and it may stave cancer off long enough so that he can see out his days at his pace rather than cancers.
Good luck OP – look after yourself as well as your dad.
garythesign said:
So sorry to read this.
Others have given advice from their experiences. I hope you can take some comfort from this.
Good luck
I have indeed. I've come to terms with it now. Was a pretty sOthers have given advice from their experiences. I hope you can take some comfort from this.
Good luck
tty 48hrs but feeling more human now. He's a generally well and very fit man, with a great chance to fight to the end. He's not afraid to say he's scared, but knowing the stubborn arse he'll defy statistics and live for many more years.It's his birthday on Wednesday, 64 years old. What do you get someone with terminal cancer?!
Brads67 said:
My old man came in 2 weeks ago telling me exactly the same thing. Advance, in his spine, thigh and shoulder.
Starts Chemo on Wed.
Not a nice thing having your old man cry on your shoulder. He`s pretty cut up about the whole thing.
Hopefully the chemo is not too hard on him.
Sorry to hear this. Pretty crappy isn't it. Wish him all the best.Starts Chemo on Wed.
Not a nice thing having your old man cry on your shoulder. He`s pretty cut up about the whole thing.
Hopefully the chemo is not too hard on him.
A Gleason score of 8 is not so good but its not so bad either. As you know, 10 is the top score indicating the most aggressive cancer. With the chemo and other drugs available now plus his relatively younger age, he has every chance of a good 5 years or more. You must remember that the stats include very old men diagnosed late and who pass away quickly. This skews the figures.
I was diagnosed with PC at age 63 with stage 3 and Gleason 9. Radiotherapy and injections are keeping it under control. My brother who has just turned 64 is stage 2 with Gleason 9. My father died of PC aged 69. His father died of PC 6 months after I was born. And in turn, his father also died of the same. My mother's brother also succumbed to PC aged 84. And she had breast cancer so for us cancer is a game for all the family.
Difficult to deal with, I know, but don't use the stats to make things seem worse. You must be positive and try your best not to dwell on it. Offer support when he's feeling down or exhausted - which he will - and enjoy each other's company.
There is another thread called 'effing cancer' which has many personal statements you may find helpful.
All the best.
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
I was diagnosed with PC at age 63 with stage 3 and Gleason 9. Radiotherapy and injections are keeping it under control. My brother who has just turned 64 is stage 2 with Gleason 9. My father died of PC aged 69. His father died of PC 6 months after I was born. And in turn, his father also died of the same. My mother's brother also succumbed to PC aged 84. And she had breast cancer so for us cancer is a game for all the family.
Difficult to deal with, I know, but don't use the stats to make things seem worse. You must be positive and try your best not to dwell on it. Offer support when he's feeling down or exhausted - which he will - and enjoy each other's company.
There is another thread called 'effing cancer' which has many personal statements you may find helpful.
All the best.
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
Edited by N7GTX on Saturday 31st March 18:45
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