Work is probably one of the worst places to be...
Discussion
for experiencing diarrhea.
The smell, the embarrassment (thankfully I was stealthy enough today to evade detection). Always try to remember the locations of all toilets at your workplace and at which times they are likely to be off peak. Also ensure the bog has plenty of bog roll. Couple of close shaves today but manged to survive unscathed, apart from a stinging sphincter.
The smell, the embarrassment (thankfully I was stealthy enough today to evade detection). Always try to remember the locations of all toilets at your workplace and at which times they are likely to be off peak. Also ensure the bog has plenty of bog roll. Couple of close shaves today but manged to survive unscathed, apart from a stinging sphincter.
Vyse said:
for experiencing diarrhea.
The smell, the embarrassment (thankfully I was stealthy enough today to evade detection). Always try to remember the locations of all toilets at your workplace and at which times they are likely to be off peak. Also ensure the bog has plenty of bog roll. Couple of close shaves today but manged to survive unscathed, apart from a stinging sphincter.
I'll see your "runny poo at the office" and raise you coming from an offshore O&G vessel back to port on the transfer launch in Gabon. The smell, the embarrassment (thankfully I was stealthy enough today to evade detection). Always try to remember the locations of all toilets at your workplace and at which times they are likely to be off peak. Also ensure the bog has plenty of bog roll. Couple of close shaves today but manged to survive unscathed, apart from a stinging sphincter.
Took some seasickness tablets, and they certainly work "topside". Unfortunately, my body still decided that an evacuation of some description was necessary. Cruising back to the jungle at 20 knots, the chop got a bit much and had to excuse myself from my customer and the two (French only speaking) crew members to use the small s
tter cupboard. Gabon is hot, and I was in overalls, sweaty and sticky, which doesn't assist with a rapid de-trousering. Thankfully in a panic I made it, and there I stayed for the next half hour until we got close to the river port. The poor second crewman had to let me know and opened the toilet door to find me a crumpled, sweating, naked, stting husk of a man.At least I would never see any of them again. Until I bumped into my discoverer at Gamba airport later that week.
Douglas Quaid said:
Stinging sphincters are a thing of the past when you install a douche. That cooling spray on your ringpiece washing it sparkling clean is so much better than smearing the crap round with toilet paper and making yourself smelly and sore.
Is that what you wrote to the office facilities manager, when requesting such an upgrade to the 3rd floor Gent's, the ones near to the Accounting Dept?
Pfft, amateurs.
I once caught a dose of dissentry when doing some construction in an 800 yr old castle. We were breaking walls apart and must have disturbed something nasty.
The first I knew of it was when I got the first hint of needing to go to the toilet , within a couple of seconds I shat myself uncontrollably and copiously well before I could reach one.
Naturally I didn't have a change of clothes with me.
Worst day ever!
I once caught a dose of dissentry when doing some construction in an 800 yr old castle. We were breaking walls apart and must have disturbed something nasty.
The first I knew of it was when I got the first hint of needing to go to the toilet , within a couple of seconds I shat myself uncontrollably and copiously well before I could reach one.
Naturally I didn't have a change of clothes with me.
Worst day ever!
Manchester Airport, the morning after eating from our local Chippy, that always does things to my digestion, full on Pie, chips and curry sauce, they arent shy with the chips either, had an early flight to Atlanta, got to the airport and could feel things moving, got through passport control and the contractions were getting more frequent, had to find a loo before nature took its course and i had to find a gents outfitters...
Anyway, every trap was full, so traipsed, doing a funny walk and praying all the way, to the ones at the other end, and get there, panic sets in, two full and one out of commission, I waited but the occupants of each cubicle seemed to have booked it for the week.
I remembered the disabled loo, so scuttled in there and locked the door, did the business and felt waves of relief, washed up and walked out and an airport employee clocks me "You do realise that is a disabled toilet", I just answered "Another minute and I would have been", she wasnt amused.
Did make me think, empty disabled loo, am I meant to soil myself ? and how does she know if I have a disability or not, could have IBS, Cronhs, a colostomy or all sorts of things that arent obvious, not just a teflon coated chippy tea that wanted to leave in a hurry.
Anyway, every trap was full, so traipsed, doing a funny walk and praying all the way, to the ones at the other end, and get there, panic sets in, two full and one out of commission, I waited but the occupants of each cubicle seemed to have booked it for the week.
I remembered the disabled loo, so scuttled in there and locked the door, did the business and felt waves of relief, washed up and walked out and an airport employee clocks me "You do realise that is a disabled toilet", I just answered "Another minute and I would have been", she wasnt amused.
Did make me think, empty disabled loo, am I meant to soil myself ? and how does she know if I have a disability or not, could have IBS, Cronhs, a colostomy or all sorts of things that arent obvious, not just a teflon coated chippy tea that wanted to leave in a hurry.
I didn't read the label of the bottle of milk of magnesia my then girlfriend got me because I had belly ache.
Taking swigs from the bottle, i boarded the train for York at Hull Paragon en route for Newcastle.
I'd finished the bottle long before I got to York and was feeling much better as I boarded the Newcastle train. In my seat 30 seconds and I got the urge to go. I fought my way past passengers still trying to find seats and stow bags. I made it to the bog on time with milliseconds to spare before this stream of liquid st came out. It kept coming and coming. I knew people could hear the bubbles farts gushing and groans. God only knows what the smell was like.
I stayed on that toilet till past Durham and sensing the train slowing I got up, got my bag before passing all the staring nose holding passengers on the crowded train and made a dash for the station toilets as soon as we arrived.
It was 1990ish and I think trains back then dumped waste onto the track. A continuous stream of st must have stretched through three counties!
Taking swigs from the bottle, i boarded the train for York at Hull Paragon en route for Newcastle.
I'd finished the bottle long before I got to York and was feeling much better as I boarded the Newcastle train. In my seat 30 seconds and I got the urge to go. I fought my way past passengers still trying to find seats and stow bags. I made it to the bog on time with milliseconds to spare before this stream of liquid s
t came out. It kept coming and coming. I knew people could hear the bubbles farts gushing and groans. God only knows what the smell was like.I stayed on that toilet till past Durham and sensing the train slowing I got up, got my bag before passing all the staring nose holding passengers on the crowded train and made a dash for the station toilets as soon as we arrived.
It was 1990ish and I think trains back then dumped waste onto the track. A continuous stream of s
t must have stretched through three counties!Edited by Wildcat45 on Tuesday 10th April 22:51
On approach to land at a London airport.
Legs crossed, sweating, deep breaths with as much restrictive pressure as possible.
I'm the pilot......
Horrendous experience. Worse to come though. Parked up. Engines shut down, brakes on, run for forward loo...
Into the loo, there's a delay getting front steps on. Front door (right next to the loo), all the pax and 2 of our 4 cabin crew are all crowded waiting silently for the steps. Not a word is being spoken.
I try to be as quiet as possible. I can't. It's loud, explosive and....how the fk did Airbus manage to make a loo that seems to echo....
As said, horrendous experience....
Legs crossed, sweating, deep breaths with as much restrictive pressure as possible.
I'm the pilot......
Horrendous experience. Worse to come though. Parked up. Engines shut down, brakes on, run for forward loo...
Into the loo, there's a delay getting front steps on. Front door (right next to the loo), all the pax and 2 of our 4 cabin crew are all crowded waiting silently for the steps. Not a word is being spoken.
I try to be as quiet as possible. I can't. It's loud, explosive and....how the f
k did Airbus manage to make a loo that seems to echo....As said, horrendous experience....
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