Caught out big style!
Discussion
The story so far.
Last Sunday one of my parishoners left England for a day trip to France to see his mate.
He left his wife and children in the insurance courtesy hired car after his recent accident/collision and caught the 08.15 ferry from Dover to Calais.
He has been on this trip before but his wife does not know who the mate is.
At 01.15 hours on Monday morning he telephones his wife to say he is on the ferry and will be back soon.
At 2230 on Monday night he has not arrived home in his courtesy car so Mrs parishoner now beside herself with worry phones me up and reports him as a missing person.
Being concerned for his welfare, I questioned his wife about who he had gone to see. she did not know.
I telephoned Dover Police and enquiries there revealed that he had indeed got on the 08.15 ferry with the hire car and another man.
I call the wife to ask her if she knows the identity of the other man as I do have his name form the passenger log. She does not.
She tells me he must have been on the ferry when he called as there was lots of noise in the background. He is now not ansering either of his phones, one of which is hers.
I suggested that he may have turned them off!
She states he would not do that and he was on the ferry as she knows he would not tell her that if he was not.
I make further enquiries at around 02.00 with the ferry company. They have no record of the hire car returning on any of their ships or being transferred to another company ship. They have no recors of my parishoner purchasing another ticket and returning without the hire car.
I call Mrs parishoner with the good news and suggest that further enquiries will have to be made in the morning when immigration officers are available.
Yesterday, I get into work having tasked another officer to research the case of the missing parishoner to be told that she has found him
!
He is still in France!
He is in a French prison having been arrested for soliciting MEN
He will be there for at least 2 weeks!
He does not want Mrs worried parishoner to be told of any of this!
There is a moral in this.
1. Do not go to France and commit offences where you could be arrested!
2. Do not lie to your wife
Hope the insurance company who pa for the hire car have an understanding attitude to misfortune!
Last Sunday one of my parishoners left England for a day trip to France to see his mate.
He left his wife and children in the insurance courtesy hired car after his recent accident/collision and caught the 08.15 ferry from Dover to Calais.
He has been on this trip before but his wife does not know who the mate is.
At 01.15 hours on Monday morning he telephones his wife to say he is on the ferry and will be back soon.
At 2230 on Monday night he has not arrived home in his courtesy car so Mrs parishoner now beside herself with worry phones me up and reports him as a missing person.
Being concerned for his welfare, I questioned his wife about who he had gone to see. she did not know.
I telephoned Dover Police and enquiries there revealed that he had indeed got on the 08.15 ferry with the hire car and another man.
I call the wife to ask her if she knows the identity of the other man as I do have his name form the passenger log. She does not.
She tells me he must have been on the ferry when he called as there was lots of noise in the background. He is now not ansering either of his phones, one of which is hers.
I suggested that he may have turned them off!
She states he would not do that and he was on the ferry as she knows he would not tell her that if he was not.
I make further enquiries at around 02.00 with the ferry company. They have no record of the hire car returning on any of their ships or being transferred to another company ship. They have no recors of my parishoner purchasing another ticket and returning without the hire car.
I call Mrs parishoner with the good news and suggest that further enquiries will have to be made in the morning when immigration officers are available.
Yesterday, I get into work having tasked another officer to research the case of the missing parishoner to be told that she has found him
! He is still in France!
He is in a French prison having been arrested for soliciting MEN
He will be there for at least 2 weeks!
He does not want Mrs worried parishoner to be told of any of this!
There is a moral in this.
1. Do not go to France and commit offences where you could be arrested!
2. Do not lie to your wife
Hope the insurance company who pa for the hire car have an understanding attitude to misfortune
!
A friend who was the FD of a French company related the tale of a colleague who was snapped by a speed camera on the Périférique. His wife opened the envelope - which contained a photograph. She wondered what her husband had been doing on that road when she believed him to be in Marsaille. She also wondered as to the identity of the attractive lady sitting in the passenger seat 
. Numbers 32:23! - Streaky
. Numbers 32:23! - Streaky
lieber gone said:
Yesterday, I get into work having tasked another officer to research the case of the missing parishoner to be told that she has found him
He is still in France!
He is in a French prison having been arrested for soliciting MEN
He will be there for at least 2 weeks!
He does not want Mrs worried parishoner to be told of any of this!
Well... she knows now....und hot buittered crumptest will be off menu for longest time to infinity.... with he anyway.... not sure about his boyfriends though...
[quote-lieber gone]
There is a moral in this.
1. Do not go to France and commit offences where you could be arrested!
2. Do not lie to your wife
Hope the insurance company who pa for the hire car have an understanding attitude to misfortune
![/quote] I do not somehow think kerb crawling for rent boys ist in terms of the hire agreement....
Und
you should never fibble to your wife... we have a sixth sense... und we always find out... und male life ist not worth living at that point But mad Doc...can read him like book....
Und he does not need to be a stray cat streaky said:
A friend who was the FD of a French company related the tale of a colleague who was snapped by a speed camera on the Périférique. His wife opened the envelope - which contained a photograph. She wondered what her husband had been doing on that road when she believed him to be in Marsaille. She also wondered as to the identity of the attractive lady sitting in the passenger seat
In Germany und Switzerland...
- they invite you to station to see photo so that the missus ist no wiser But even so... wimmin still find out.
Somewhat different, and I can't remember whether I have posted this previously and can't check because 'Search' is down ...
Two friends of friends travelled to France on 'booze cruise' in their camper-van. They took wife's mother with them. At Dover, mother discovered she had left her passport and ticket behind.
They installed her in the toilet of the camper-van and instructed her to keep quiet.
The crossing and entry into France proceeded without interruption.
After leaving the port, they stopped at a Les Routiers to let her out.
Tragically, they found that she had expired during the trip .
They repaired in a state of shock (dead body smuggled into France ... visit to Mme La Guillotine possible, n'est pas?) to the restaurant to consider their next move. They decided to cut the shopping trip short and return to England tout suite.
When they came out of the Les Routiers ... the camper-van had been stolen!
This was before Christmas 2004 and I still haven't heard the outcome!
Streaky
>> Edited by streaky on Thursday 28th April 12:42
Two friends of friends travelled to France on 'booze cruise' in their camper-van. They took wife's mother with them. At Dover, mother discovered she had left her passport and ticket behind.
They installed her in the toilet of the camper-van and instructed her to keep quiet.
The crossing and entry into France proceeded without interruption.
After leaving the port, they stopped at a Les Routiers to let her out.
Tragically, they found that she had expired during the trip
. They repaired in a state of shock (dead body smuggled into France ... visit to Mme La Guillotine possible, n'est pas?) to the restaurant to consider their next move. They decided to cut the shopping trip short and return to England tout suite.
When they came out of the Les Routiers ... the camper-van had been stolen!
This was before Christmas 2004 and I still haven't heard the outcome!
Streaky
>> Edited by streaky on Thursday 28th April 12:42
streaky said:
Somewhat different, and I can't remember whether I have posted this previously and can't check because 'Search' is down ...
Two friends of friends travelled to France on 'booze cruise' in their camper-van. They took wife's mother with them. At Dover, mother discovered she had left her passport and ticket behind.
They installed her in the toilet of the camper-van and instructed her to keep quiet.
The crossing and entry into France proceeded without interruption.
After leaving the port, they stopped at a Les Routiers to let her out.
Tragically, they found that she had expired during the trip
They repaired in a state of shock (dead body smuggled into France ... visit to Mme La Guillotine possible, n'est pas?) to the restaurant to consider their next move. They decided to cut the shopping trip short and return to England tout suite.
When they came out of the Les Routiers ... the camper-van had been stolen!
This was before Christmas 2004 and I still haven't heard the outcome!
Streaky
>> Edited by streaky on Thursday 28th April 12:42
Nah! That couldn't be real, must have been a carry-on film.
nightmare said:
Streaky...If that's true you MUST find out the outcome!! that's great!
An update, solicited in the pub last night (but before too many alcoholic beverages had been imbibed!).
The camper-van was discovered abandoned in an autoroute rest area some 200Km away.
The body was not in the camper-van ... and is still missing!
There is a parallel investigation in France and the UK to determine what crime(s) the driver of the camper-van might have committed. Charges that are being considered include (at present):
1)a) Aiding and abetting the unauthorised entry of a person into France, or:
b) Unauthorised importation of a deceased person into France;
and:
2) Unauthorised export of a deceased person from the UK.
and:
3)a) Defrauding the ferry company, and:
b) Conspiring with others to defraud the ferry company (albeit that one of the others might have been dead at the time);
and:
4) Conspiring with others to pervert the course of justice (albeit again that one of the others might have been dead).
Although they have been told privately that it is unlikely the UK authorities will prosecute or the ferry company press for restitution. Les Grenouilles d'autre part ...
Streaky
>> Edited by streaky on Saturday 7th May 18:38
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