Alternative songs

[davhill]

Eyes down for a larf.

Inspired by the Barron Knights'classics, including...

The Hunchback of Note Dame's song by Hot Chocolate.
"It started with a cyst."
and
Heavin' on a jet plane.

How about Pink Floyd insisting they're in great shape to play football.
"We don't need no embrocation."

Rupert and The Frog Chorus proving they aren't vegan.
"Pork pork pork, pie ee I."

The cats'version of the Steeleye Christmas song.
"Meowdete."

Freddie Mercury bemoaning last night's vindaloo.
"I want to break wind."

And singing about a witch-like senior citizen.
"Mean old lady, mean old lady, I don't got no time for no monkey business."

Topol, from 'Fiddler on the Roof'.
"If I had a haemorrhoid,
biddy biddy, biddy,
Biddy, biddy, biddy, biddy bum.
All day long I'd fiddle with me bum.
If I had a haemorrhoid.

And the floor is yours...

Edited by davhill on Tuesday 26th June 02:46

[elanfan]

Hit me with your shovel Mick. hit me!

[rowley birkin]

The Sex Pistols, with their sensitive interpretation of a Barbra Streisand classic:-

"You don't bring me flowers...you bd !!!!!"

[48k]

Timely thread - here's a couple of my recent ones:

---

With apologies to Billy Joel...

Late planes, cancelled trains, morons in the middle lane
Daily Mail, dog poo, shops all closing down
ASBOs, indicision, dumbing-down on television
Teenage gangs, insurance scams, summer hose-pipe bans

Moped thugs, doing drugs, obese kids, annoying bugs
Binge drinking, backward thinking, cliffside houses sinking
NHS on its arse, school kids in a massive class
VIP paedophiles, traffic jams that stretch for miles

(chorus)
We didn't vote for Brexit
Now we can't reverse
And things are getting worse....

---

Chas and Dave's Ode to the new Tottenham Hotspur stadium


You got a beautiful shape
You got a beautiful rake
You got a beautiful pier
You've got beer
You've got beautiful glass
You've got beautiful grass
You've got a lot without doubt
But I'm hoping they just leave something out

Cos they won't stop cladding
Why don't they give it a rest?
They've put more cladding on Sainsbury's
Looks like it doesn't match the rest
Now this was just the kinda build to fill my heart with glee
I knew right off when I saw you on my Spurs TV
But how was I to know you'd break my OCD
With your incessant cladding, you're becoming a pest

[Turbotechnic]

Manic Street Preachers "you suck the cum from my arse"

[cobra kid]

Boyz 2 Men

"Through that hole in your tights, I'll make love to you"

Edited by cobra kid on Tuesday 26th June 15:03

[davhill]

Billy Joel one

[davhill]

Couple of rudies...

Fiddler's Dram
"Didn't we have a lovely time, the day I went to bang 'er."

Beyonce's advice.
"If you like it then you shoulda fked the ring on it."

[GliderRider]

Salami - The Police

[Robbo 27]

Bohemian Rhapsody

Beelzebub - The Devils got a sideboard

Edited by Robbo 27 on Tuesday 26th June 18:31

[48k]

GliderRider said:

Salami - The Police

Sue Lawley

And a couple from Madonna:

Bill Oddie...Bill Oddie....put your hands all over my body

Poppadum Preach

Along with Abba's Chicken Tikka

[silverfoxcc]

Wasnt the Hot Chocolate one

It start with a kiss

And then a small dose of rohypnol

[48k]

Quasimodo's version was "It started with a cyst"

[bristolracer]

wonderwall

coz maybe youre going to get a job in sainsburys

[Jimmy Recard]

Village People - Fred West

[80sMatchbox]

I remember reading these years ago

"The ants are my friends, they're blowing in the wind."

"Red, red wine, steak, lobster, meat"

[davhill]

Every time you go away, you take a piece of meat with you.

[Smokehead]

Peabo Bryson and Roberta Flack

Tonight I sellotape my glove to you...

[BryanC]

Just back from the Bearded Theory festival and introduced to Val Doonican,s Bar Stewards who gave their own renditions of
'Lady in Greggs' and dedicated for all travellers through international customs, ' How deep is your glove'

Last year, we were treated to Hobo Jones and the Junkyard Dogs singing their version of 'Yellow' ( eeeew )
NSFW I suppose
YouTube videos available.

[Shuvi McTupya]

Ashford and Simpson - Soild.

And now it's solid
Solid as my Cock