I need to kill my TV... discreetly, ideas?

[Timmy45]

Soooo I need my TV to die. And it needs to look like a more or less random death, so hitting it with a hammer, pouring water all over it are out. I need it to die in a way that doesn't raise suspicion. You're a devious lot on here so I'm after suggestions.

[S100HP]

Just remove fuse?

[AllyBassman]

open it up and remove something important looking?

[MrBarry123]

Hit it with water and pour a hammer on it?

[Butter Face]

https://usbkill.com/

[seyre1972]

Break the remote - it's how I got a new one

[Gary29]

Why?

Hammer sausages into its lawn?

[Guvernator]

Timmy45 said:

Soooo I need my TV to die. And it needs to look like a more or less random death, so hitting it with a hammer, pouring water all over it are out. I need it to die in a way that doesn't raise suspicion. You're a devious lot on here so I'm after suggestions.

Why?

[captain_cynic]

Pollyfilla (or whatever it's called here) around the electronics and wait for it to overhead.

If you're adventurous and handy with a soldering iron, create a few short circuits from 12v to 5v circuits.

[Moonhawk]

I wonder what rewiring the plug back to front would do (e.g. live to neutral and neutral to live)

[Timmy45]

Guvernator said:

Timmy45 said:

Soooo I need my TV to die. And it needs to look like a more or less random death, so hitting it with a hammer, pouring water all over it are out. I need it to die in a way that doesn't raise suspicion. You're a devious lot on here so I'm after suggestions.

Why?

Because about 8 years ago I married this hot little much younger nymphomaniac. This divine creature has somehow morphed out of all recognition into a WIFE. I want a new TV. WIFE will give me grief over that = TV must DIE. Then I can get a new TV.

[The jiffle king]

First thought was this song....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vonvSnYjGu8

Neds Atomic Dustbin - Kill your Television

[LotusMartin]

Let me fix that for you...

Nanook said:

TURN IT OFF

Open it, ideally find the PCB.

Pick a random capacitor. Snap it off.

Close it.

Tada.

[PositronicRay]

Butter Face said:

https://usbkill.com/

Probably quicker and more reliable than my option, (wait for a lightening strike)


Although the traditional 1970s method is to throw it out of a hotel room window.

Edited by PositronicRay on Thursday 28th June 15:59

[Gary29]

Timmy45 said:

Because about 8 years ago I married this hot little much younger nymphomaniac. This divine creature has somehow morphed out of all recognition into a WIFE. I want a new TV. WIFE will give me grief over that = TV must DIE. Then I can get a new TV.

I know it's said a lot on here, but grow a pair ffs!

[Shakermaker]

It was cheaper for me to buy home insurance with accidental damage cover and a £50 damage excess than it was to get it without, so if I need to I guess I COULD just claim that the baby knocked the TV over if I never needed to...

Otherwise, OP, what about doing that bit of DIY she's been nagging you about for ages, and whatever tool that needs ends up in the TV?

[Rider007]

Clear browser history also, she's looking over your shoulder.

[Moonhawk]

Timmy45 said:

Because about 8 years ago I married this hot little much younger nymphomaniac. This divine creature has somehow morphed out of all recognition into a WIFE. I want a new TV. WIFE will give me grief over that = TV must DIE. Then I can get a new TV.

I'm lucky that my wife actually loves big TVs as much as I do. We are just waiting for TVs around the 85" mark to come down in price a bit so we can go for another upgrade over our current 65".

[gavsdavs]

Timmy45 said:

Soooo I need my TV to die. And it needs to look like a more or less random death, so hitting it with a hammer, pouring water all over it are out. I need it to die in a way that doesn't raise suspicion. You're a devious lot on here so I'm after suggestions.

Block up the vents that permit cooling somehow. a TV 8 years old is probably power hungry and will likely overheat soon enough. Or just man up, flog it on ebay and get a new one

[Timmy45]

Rider007 said:

Clear browser history also, she's looking over your shoulder.

Standard practice. Got caught out once in my youth with a previous partner, there are web browser virus's that fill your history cache with porn links.