Audi A4 S-Line TDI Ultra
Audi A4 S-Line TDI Ultra
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anonymous-user

Original Poster:

82 months

Thursday 12th July 2018
quotequote all
Yes, welcome to my thread on my hateful Audi company car. I need an outlet for my utter despair for this woeful piece of over marketed garbage.

The 320d wasn’t my choice, auto, diesel and at the time I was really enjoying a tweaked 130i. However, old dog, new tricks and all that and blow me, the 3 series was actually really decent. Then, it had to go back to car heaven.

Enter a metallic black obnoxious lump of metal, resplendent with drug dealer spec windows and more chrome than a gypsy wedding. It was spec’d by this guy who worked for us, better not say much more but the car speaks volumes about the individual I would wager?

Let’s get to it.

The good.

It has a really well placed volume control in front of the gearstick. Great idea.

The bad.

Understeer. It does this a lot. Mainly because the boost kicks in at around 1800 rpm and it’s a manual. The traction light is always on, it tugs away at the steering, which is remarkable as...

Steering. Nothing to feel. When the front wheels light up, for a change, you get a mild sensation of weightlessness, not much else there.

Engine. Nothing below 2000 rpm, all over by 4000rpm. I once had possession of a really laggy Ford Escort diesel, it’s very similar tbh.

Gearbox. Hateful. No feel, ratios massively long which just compounds the utter lack of torque under 2000rpm. I have stalled this thing more times than any other car I care to remember. This is also bad because..

Stop/Start. It’s so slow to restart a stall, and it stalls a lot because of everything else it’s so terrible at

Brakes. Over servoed, they don’t seem give in but as the general drive is so utterly lamentable it doesn’t get pushed. They do have a serious negative though....

Electronics. Audi colission avoidance. This seems to have a mind of its own and the other week leaving a well known supermarket the brakes activated, for a brief moment I was elated and hoped the car had lunched itself but no, it was merely saving me from a threat known only to it’s own sensors. The parking sensors are too sensitive, they are too loud. The sat nav is a mess, unlike iDrive where you just push a big button and you end your destination the geniuses at Audi make you click left and scroll. Pushing the selector brings up a totally pointless Birds eye view, which allows you to select waypoints, for what I don’t know.

Electronic handbrake. It’s stupid. Unlike the 3 series when you stop and switch off it, where upon it engages this one remains off? Luckily the bumpers are ok and stop the car from rolling too far from the pub.

The alarms are all annoyingly loud. It’s like a total sadist has designed the thing.

I have no idea what it must have cost. But it’s an awful lot of money for the good points and you’d have to be nuts to buy one. Apologies if you actually have done so and it floats your boat, but what a bloody crime against cars it is!

I’m hoping to trade ‘up’ to a poverty spec 320d next month. Audi, it’s a an absolute turd. Perhaps get the apprentice who decided upon auxiliary volume control placement to head up the rest of the engineering and give your customers something other than a car that sucks all the enjoyment out of life.

I hate it.

Edited by anonymous-user on Thursday 12th July 21:41

Shiv_P

3,022 posts

133 months

Thursday 12th July 2018
quotequote all
On the other hand it's reviewed as the best car in class boxedin

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

82 months

Thursday 12th July 2018
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Send in the clowns

Uncle John

5,332 posts

219 months

Thursday 12th July 2018
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Enjoyed that, very honest & to the point. Much as I suspected with these as well.

Any pics of said piece of st so we know exactly what to avoid?

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

82 months

Thursday 12th July 2018
quotequote all
Shiv_P said:
On the other hand it's reviewed as the best car in class boxedin
No idea how. Unless you are on the motorway it’s horrible, but even then at 70-80 in 6th gear you have to drop down one, or two to make it move. It’s not a bad engine but the gearbox kills it

IMO no match for a 3 series, even the last generation.

I’ll keep updating this thread, it’s cheaper than a therapist and it torments me daily.

helix402

7,913 posts

210 months

Thursday 12th July 2018
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Great write up! What extras does the “ultra” bring?

I recently owned an Audi for a week after losing a BMW. It made me sad so I sold it and bought another BMW. (True story-but there’s a lot more to the story than I’ve got time to explain).

Fastdruid

9,340 posts

180 months

Thursday 12th July 2018
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You're driving it wrong.

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

82 months

Thursday 12th July 2018
quotequote all
Fastdruid said:
You're driving it wrong.
Absolutely. Someone else should be.

Warmfuzzies

4,361 posts

281 months

Friday 13th July 2018
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Oh the imagine

CornedBeef

641 posts

216 months

Friday 13th July 2018
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I had use of a colleagues one of these last week, just for 24 hours. I had the same experience really, it was a nice enough place to sit and the quality of the interior was high. But to drive, very inert - in particular the turbo lag was annoying! I can echo how easy it is to stall too...

Jimmy Recard

17,547 posts

207 months

Friday 13th July 2018
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A colleague has one and loves it. I think it's just as crap as you do.

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

82 months

Friday 13th July 2018
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yonex said:
Absolutely. Someone else should be.
laugh

Honestherbert

592 posts

175 months

Friday 13th July 2018
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I must agree I find diesel audis hateful things. Just generic white goods cars like bmw diesels I suppose....designed for sales reps who care more about the badge than the actual car! but nowhere near as good to drive.

I also find it rather funny how the same cars but with s line tat bolted on are often bestowed with praise as actually fast decent handling steeds by those who own them and believe them to be in the same class as proper sports saloons.

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

82 months

Friday 13th July 2018
quotequote all
CornedBeef said:
I had use of a colleagues one of these last week, just for 24 hours. I had the same experience really, it was a nice enough place to sit and the quality of the interior was high. But to drive, very inert - in particular the turbo lag was annoying! I can echo how easy it is to stall too...
It's comforting to know I am not alone on that one, so bloody annoying. Then, in a fit of rage when you want to give it a good hiding in neutral they've only gone and put a limiter in there. Another thing. The boss on the steering wheel, why is it not concentric? I am not sure why I find this so irritating but it seems easier to just put in the middle, than not to do so?

Even the wildlife have turned on it, there has been a major carpeting of bird crap this am? This means a trip to the car wash, shame it hasn't got electric mirrors, you'd have thought being an 'Ultra' this would extend to these things. Very odd. They probably ran out of money after blowing the budget on knurled covers for the 12V outlet biggrin

PistonTim

713 posts

167 months

Friday 13th July 2018
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Ultra extends only to it's engine / emissions being lower, like a BMW ED model.

Got nothing to do with trim, features or options.

There should be button to turn stop / start off, it's always been deadly on our 2015 A6, first thing that gets pressed after the start button.


anonymous-user

Original Poster:

82 months

Friday 13th July 2018
quotequote all
PistonTim said:
Ultra extends only to it's engine / emissions being lower, like a BMW ED model.

Got nothing to do with trim, features or options.

There should be button to turn stop / start off, it's always been deadly on our 2015 A6, first thing that gets pressed after the start button.
Ah, got it.

Yes, you can actually activate the stop/start when the car is still rolling. I thought it had a button?

PistonTim

713 posts

167 months

Friday 13th July 2018
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On ours the button is an A with a arrow circle going round it, its in front of the gear level.

Can be activated or deactivated at any time but it always turns on when the engine starts and then is immediately turned off by us, hateful feature far too aggressive to cut in then dimwitted to give you power back.

Save the manuals

68 posts

122 months

Friday 13th July 2018
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Nice write up! When do we get to see pictures of it?
It will only last 200 000 miles... rotate

Daninoxon

19 posts

136 months

Friday 13th July 2018
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Ah, I feel your pain - I had a hand-me-down A5 se ultra manual for the first month of a new job. Clutch is in the centre line of the steering wheel so after weeks of M25 crawl my back was killing me, it drank adblue at 1l per 500 miles which was an expense the company would not reimburse. I too stalled it loads and ended up just slipping the clutch constantly to make sure 1. Auto stop start didn’t kick in and 2. To stay alive pulling out of junctions. I now take the cash equivalent which allowed me a 2013 330d m sport auto which is an amazing tool for the job.

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

82 months

Friday 13th July 2018
quotequote all
Save the manuals said:
Nice write up! When do we get to see pictures of it?
It will only last 200 000 miles... rotate
With luck I can hand it back soon!

The horror.....