14 month old not sleeping through the night
Discussion
Have cracked getting my son to sleep in the evening, but he'll wake up frantic at least once a night if he's in his room on his own. Worst case he's asleep at 8, wakes up at midnight and then 3, and is almost impossible to get back to sleep in his cot (own room). Usually end up taking him into spare bed which wins the battle but not the war, as the next night is the same.
Even if he settles in his cot and is seemingly asleep he'll bolt up as soon as we try to leave the room and whinge/cry.
Even when we first put him in the cot at night he has to be half-comatose, he won't just doze in there on his own like some babies, unless I'm lying on the floor right next to him.
Any suggestions? Leave him to cry it out? He's robust in the daytime but this feels different. Is it just a separation anxiety phase that will pass?
Even if he settles in his cot and is seemingly asleep he'll bolt up as soon as we try to leave the room and whinge/cry.
Even when we first put him in the cot at night he has to be half-comatose, he won't just doze in there on his own like some babies, unless I'm lying on the floor right next to him.
Any suggestions? Leave him to cry it out? He's robust in the daytime but this feels different. Is it just a separation anxiety phase that will pass?
Edited by anonymous-user on Wednesday 1st August 15:59
Edited by anonymous-user on Wednesday 1st August 16:03
They're all different etc. Ours have been through various phases over the years but I think we've finally cracked it, my youngest is now 5 
Even though she has had spates of waking she's much easier to settle, sometimes just needs to be reunited with her bunny or to have a low key, softly read story to send her back off. The eldest was far worse. The turning point was getting him to settle himself at bedtime, few stories, tucked in, lights out, sleep. Took a few nights of "controlled" crying to get that sorted. After that he settled much more easily if he did wake in the night and not long after that started sleeping through.
There are no right or wrong answers, you just have to try stuff and persevere with it for at least a few night until you get the eureka moment.
Even though she has had spates of waking she's much easier to settle, sometimes just needs to be reunited with her bunny or to have a low key, softly read story to send her back off. The eldest was far worse. The turning point was getting him to settle himself at bedtime, few stories, tucked in, lights out, sleep. Took a few nights of "controlled" crying to get that sorted. After that he settled much more easily if he did wake in the night and not long after that started sleeping through.
There are no right or wrong answers, you just have to try stuff and persevere with it for at least a few night until you get the eureka moment.
They're all different,
With our little lad (21 months) we were super strict with his bedtime routine from around 4-6 months old (that period of my life is hazey lol) Bath, bottle, cot starting at 7pm every night and in his cot by 7:30. We're reaping the rewards now, as once he's had his bath and some cuddles etc, he'll want to go to bed so he leads the way to his room, we pop him in his cot with his cuddly toy and his bottle and just leave him to it. He's normally alseep by 7:30-8pm and rarley wakes in the night unless ill.
I don't want this to come over smug, it took a lot to get to this point, plenty of broken/no sleep, some stressful CIO sessions and numerous regressions once we thought we had everything under control. I'm sure our next will be a massive PITA!
All I'm trying to say is, it'll happen, it's not forever!
With our little lad (21 months) we were super strict with his bedtime routine from around 4-6 months old (that period of my life is hazey lol) Bath, bottle, cot starting at 7pm every night and in his cot by 7:30. We're reaping the rewards now, as once he's had his bath and some cuddles etc, he'll want to go to bed so he leads the way to his room, we pop him in his cot with his cuddly toy and his bottle and just leave him to it. He's normally alseep by 7:30-8pm and rarley wakes in the night unless ill.
I don't want this to come over smug, it took a lot to get to this point, plenty of broken/no sleep, some stressful CIO sessions and numerous regressions once we thought we had everything under control. I'm sure our next will be a massive PITA!
All I'm trying to say is, it'll happen, it's not forever!
I wish there was a miracle answer, it’s very stressful sometimes.
Our 28 month old is a nightmare to get to sleep, very rarely goes down before 21:30 and that’s a struggle.
She will not sleep during the day either, unless out in the car.
A trip in the car at night will send her off straight away but we avoid this unless we are really desperate.
She usually wakes once or twice in the night, we can luckily get her back off within 30 mins.
I think you just have to ride it out and hope it improves, sticking to a regimental routine.
Our 28 month old is a nightmare to get to sleep, very rarely goes down before 21:30 and that’s a struggle.
She will not sleep during the day either, unless out in the car.
A trip in the car at night will send her off straight away but we avoid this unless we are really desperate.
She usually wakes once or twice in the night, we can luckily get her back off within 30 mins.
I think you just have to ride it out and hope it improves, sticking to a regimental routine.
Our first was a dire sleeper for 4 years really dire.
Second started off superbly but then 2 years of hell - still hard now at time but that’s as it’s hot.
Third perfect for 4 months but then had the 4 month sleep regression.... never heard of it before but I was zombielike and it was he Mrs who was doing the work really
Probably hence why sometimes I post utter drivel on here so tired / zombie like zen mode. Lol.
Note I find it’s made me drink a LOT more than I ever used to much more often ...
Second started off superbly but then 2 years of hell - still hard now at time but that’s as it’s hot.
Third perfect for 4 months but then had the 4 month sleep regression.... never heard of it before but I was zombielike and it was he Mrs who was doing the work really
Probably hence why sometimes I post utter drivel on here so tired / zombie like zen mode. Lol.
Note I find it’s made me drink a LOT more than I ever used to much more often ...
Try and tire him out as much as possible when about to put him down, he needs to learn to settle himself to sleep, putting him down semi-comatose isn’t allowing him to self settle. Also when he cries at night go and comfort but don’t touch, no picking up, get him to lie down. You may even need to spend a few nights on the floor in the same room to allow him to become reassured. Controlled crying as a last resort. The Cheshire Babywhisperer advised us this stuff and it seemed to work.
On a separate dental note, babies and toddlers should NOT be allowed to fall asleep with a bottle, or have “dreamfeeds”. Google “nursing caries” to see the effects. It should be bottle - brush - bed.
On a separate dental note, babies and toddlers should NOT be allowed to fall asleep with a bottle, or have “dreamfeeds”. Google “nursing caries” to see the effects. It should be bottle - brush - bed.
cringle said:
Try and tire him out as much as possible when about to put him down, he needs to learn to settle himself to sleep, putting him down semi-comatose isn’t allowing him to self settle. Also when he cries at night go and comfort but don’t touch, no picking up, get him to lie down. You may even need to spend a few nights on the floor in the same room to allow him to become reassured. Controlled crying as a last resort. The Cheshire Babywhisperer advised us this stuff and it seemed to work.
On a separate dental note, babies and toddlers should NOT be allowed to fall asleep with a bottle, or have “dreamfeeds”. Google “nursing caries” to see the effects. It should be bottle - brush - bed.
Stick to boobs only On a separate dental note, babies and toddlers should NOT be allowed to fall asleep with a bottle, or have “dreamfeeds”. Google “nursing caries” to see the effects. It should be bottle - brush - bed.
Remember watching clips of Supernanny to try and get some success with my daughter when she was around that age.
It worked but it was not exactly easy as it pulls on your heart strings and when your tired you just want to sleep so it is easier to take them through with you.
This clip might not be the perfect one for you but you can check out others.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDNv6v0n5y4
It worked but it was not exactly easy as it pulls on your heart strings and when your tired you just want to sleep so it is easier to take them through with you.
This clip might not be the perfect one for you but you can check out others.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDNv6v0n5y4
Darkness
Routine (eg 7pm strict)
Wind-down
Leave alone, don't keep going in
Bed room and bed time is for bed, not tablets/TV/toys at night time etc
NEVER allowed to sleep in our bed. No refugee sleeping! Ok once when my boy had a fever and vomited over the bedsheets at 6am, he got one hour with us
1st child took 12 weeks to master it
2nd child took 2 ish years
Both sleep beautifully now (4 and 6) and really have an excellent bed time routine and are pleasant through the day. Babysitter puts them to sleep when my wife and I go out for a curry/film/dogging/dinner party/etc
Routine (eg 7pm strict)
Wind-down
Leave alone, don't keep going in
Bed room and bed time is for bed, not tablets/TV/toys at night time etc
NEVER allowed to sleep in our bed. No refugee sleeping! Ok once when my boy had a fever and vomited over the bedsheets at 6am, he got one hour with us
1st child took 12 weeks to master it
2nd child took 2 ish years
Both sleep beautifully now (4 and 6) and really have an excellent bed time routine and are pleasant through the day. Babysitter puts them to sleep when my wife and I go out for a curry/film/dogging/dinner party/etc
Edited by The_Doc on Thursday 2nd August 15:00
Our first was a great sleeper, our second took over 2 years to get the hang of it. We tried everything, but would have been better served to just put up with it. We put more energy into finding the answer than just getting on with it and putting up with the temporary inconvenience.
That's easy to say when you're out the other side though. It's a nightmare when you're in the middle of it. Once they can make their own breakfast things get a bit easier.
That's easy to say when you're out the other side though. It's a nightmare when you're in the middle of it. Once they can make their own breakfast things get a bit easier.
Strict routine has worked for us as other have said,
7 Year old was never a problem, By 6 months slept all the way through. Hes more of a pain now!
4 Year old, was even better, slept like a log, still sleeps like a log, super grumpy if she doesn't sleep so quite often takes herself off to bed early.
3 Year old - went through the night from around 4 months, around 24 months she used to kick off at bed times, cured that by telling her that if she continued doing it I would remove all of her teddies from her bed...she continued so they were removed for the night. She no longer kicks off.
12 month old - shes been the hardest work, but mainly because shes the youngest and the last so the strictness as waned slightly. Shes a bugger though, because she'll wake up and happily play silently in her cot for hours and then we'll wonder why shes grumpy in the day time!
7 Year old was never a problem, By 6 months slept all the way through. Hes more of a pain now!
4 Year old, was even better, slept like a log, still sleeps like a log, super grumpy if she doesn't sleep so quite often takes herself off to bed early.
3 Year old - went through the night from around 4 months, around 24 months she used to kick off at bed times, cured that by telling her that if she continued doing it I would remove all of her teddies from her bed...she continued so they were removed for the night. She no longer kicks off.
12 month old - shes been the hardest work, but mainly because shes the youngest and the last so the strictness as waned slightly. Shes a bugger though, because she'll wake up and happily play silently in her cot for hours and then we'll wonder why shes grumpy in the day time!
Welshbeef said:
Our first was a dire sleeper for 4 years really dire.
Second started off superbly but then 2 years of hell - still hard now at time but that’s as it’s hot.
Third perfect for 4 months but then had the 4 month sleep regression.... never heard of it before but I was zombielike and it was he Mrs who was doing the work really
Probably hence why sometimes I post utter drivel on here so tired / zombie like zen mode. Lol.
Note I find it’s made me drink a LOT more than I ever used to much more often ...
The more I drank, the better my kids seemed to sleep...Second started off superbly but then 2 years of hell - still hard now at time but that’s as it’s hot.
Third perfect for 4 months but then had the 4 month sleep regression.... never heard of it before but I was zombielike and it was he Mrs who was doing the work really
Probably hence why sometimes I post utter drivel on here so tired / zombie like zen mode. Lol.
Note I find it’s made me drink a LOT more than I ever used to much more often ...
May be he is teething ? ... Mine son is 27months old now and he sleeping went as follows,
0-8 months : Slept well but usual waking every few hours for feed.
8-10 months : Starting sleeping through in his cot.
10-22 months :Starts teething and pretty much EVERY night he is crying and waking 2 or 3 times a night and crying for 30mins to 45mins a time, some times sleeps in cot sometimes in the bed with his mum.
22-24 months : Seems to be ok now sleeping throw the night in his cot.
25months to current day : Wont sleep in his cot at night (will in the day), will cry till sick if left in cot so currently sleeping with mum each night, but at least sleeping through. He also started to get himself out the bed though now at night, twice I've woken to find him poking me in the head to wake me.
Its tough, really tough, some kids are easier than others, the only saving grace for me has been the bed not big enough for 3 so I get to sleep in guest room on mine own most nights
0-8 months : Slept well but usual waking every few hours for feed.
8-10 months : Starting sleeping through in his cot.
10-22 months :Starts teething and pretty much EVERY night he is crying and waking 2 or 3 times a night and crying for 30mins to 45mins a time, some times sleeps in cot sometimes in the bed with his mum.
22-24 months : Seems to be ok now sleeping throw the night in his cot.
25months to current day : Wont sleep in his cot at night (will in the day), will cry till sick if left in cot so currently sleeping with mum each night, but at least sleeping through. He also started to get himself out the bed though now at night, twice I've woken to find him poking me in the head to wake me.
Its tough, really tough, some kids are easier than others, the only saving grace for me has been the bed not big enough for 3 so I get to sleep in guest room on mine own most nights
None of you are filling me with confidence.
A lot of the stuff we're doing though, no ipads (ever!), bottles only at feeding times, same routine each night. He's no different in the daytime so I don't think it's teething, unless the impact of that is mostly in the night - his first 8 teeth came in with no problems, didn't bother him at all.
So we made a decision to keep him in his cot all night, never take him out, and one of us to sleep on the floor in his room if necessary, so no coming into the big comfy bed. Last night was bad, he slept from 8.30 to 11ish but had a cold so some Calpol settled him for half an hour or so after midnight, but then a lot of whinging until eventually we gave him some extra milk and then he slept. So last night he was still hungry, this is unusual though as he wouldn't eat as much as usual in the daytime.
He is SO far away from self-settling it's untrue, a hint of being put in the cot and he starts freaking out, if he's asleep and there's a slight noise or hint of someone leaving the room or no-one being in the room and he freaks out. He's never done well sleeping in the day either, naps tended to be 'scheduled' around either travelling somewhere or pushchair walks to the shops, or just passing out on mummy...
I'll try watching some of the Supernanny videos, I remember some good stuff from when the TV show used to be on.
A lot of the stuff we're doing though, no ipads (ever!), bottles only at feeding times, same routine each night. He's no different in the daytime so I don't think it's teething, unless the impact of that is mostly in the night - his first 8 teeth came in with no problems, didn't bother him at all.
So we made a decision to keep him in his cot all night, never take him out, and one of us to sleep on the floor in his room if necessary, so no coming into the big comfy bed. Last night was bad, he slept from 8.30 to 11ish but had a cold so some Calpol settled him for half an hour or so after midnight, but then a lot of whinging until eventually we gave him some extra milk and then he slept. So last night he was still hungry, this is unusual though as he wouldn't eat as much as usual in the daytime.
He is SO far away from self-settling it's untrue, a hint of being put in the cot and he starts freaking out, if he's asleep and there's a slight noise or hint of someone leaving the room or no-one being in the room and he freaks out. He's never done well sleeping in the day either, naps tended to be 'scheduled' around either travelling somewhere or pushchair walks to the shops, or just passing out on mummy...
I'll try watching some of the Supernanny videos, I remember some good stuff from when the TV show used to be on.
You also have to realise that some people are simply lucky baby and then infant simply sleeps without issue ever.
Take an example a friend of ours said she had a really bad night a few nights ago - out to bed 7:30 but he woke once @10pm (but was back asleep until 8am)..... FFS seriously
Take an example a friend of ours said she had a really bad night a few nights ago - out to bed 7:30 but he woke once @10pm (but was back asleep until 8am)..... FFS seriously
Welshbeef said:
Thing is with teething it can take a couple of years...
“Growing pains” in the bones isualy legs is another
Summertime as in still daylight at night or early morning “it’s daytime not bedtime “
Heat
Yeah growing pains, my son started getting them a few months back at least its not as bad as teething as that was most nights, the growing pains may be a once a week at moment but now he can tell us whats wrong so he say 'hurt foot', I then have to massage it a bit.“Growing pains” in the bones isualy legs is another
Summertime as in still daylight at night or early morning “it’s daytime not bedtime “
Heat
To original poster as other said some are good babies when it comes to sleep other are bad, I would put my son in the 'bad sleeper' group sometimes he was fine and other times he was bad, my son also had night terrors but he grew out of that. In the end we just did what we needed to survive I work full time and misses part time, we were very strict on not let him sleep with us at first but after a few bouts of bad illness and very bad nights he has ended up sleeping with my misses a lot, which has now created a bit of an issue. The plan I have though now is he is nearly ready for a big boy bed so I was going to get him something like a car bed / something he want to be in etc ... hope it works.
I'll be honest, my two kids nearly broke me/my wife. Both slept great for the first 12 months and then it's been 3 years of hell from there onwards up until now where fingers crossed we are finally getting some decent sleep.
You have my sympathy, there's no easy solution, we tried every trick in the book with very limited success.
Possibly the best thing was my wife spending a few nights sleeping in the same bedroom and when the younger one woke up he'd see his mum there and usually go back to sleep. But on the nights when our daughter woke up as well then I'd have to get up and do the same or they'd wake each other up even though their rooms are some distance apart.
Now our 8 year old daughter sleeps like a log and my 5 year old son only wakes 2 or 3 times a week and usually jumps in next to us and goes back to sleep again which is far better than the old days of waking up and demanding to watch Peter Rabbit at 2 in the morning.
You have my sympathy, there's no easy solution, we tried every trick in the book with very limited success.
Possibly the best thing was my wife spending a few nights sleeping in the same bedroom and when the younger one woke up he'd see his mum there and usually go back to sleep. But on the nights when our daughter woke up as well then I'd have to get up and do the same or they'd wake each other up even though their rooms are some distance apart.
Now our 8 year old daughter sleeps like a log and my 5 year old son only wakes 2 or 3 times a week and usually jumps in next to us and goes back to sleep again which is far better than the old days of waking up and demanding to watch Peter Rabbit at 2 in the morning.
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