Best mans speech
Discussion
Not related to the groom speech thread...
However, it's fallen upon me to do the best man duties.. The least appetising part... The speech. I absolutely hate public speaking. Apart from thanking everyone for coming, how else am I to evade this displeasure. For the record, I am in no way displeased about my friends wedding...
All suggestions will be taken in good faith...
However, it's fallen upon me to do the best man duties.. The least appetising part... The speech. I absolutely hate public speaking. Apart from thanking everyone for coming, how else am I to evade this displeasure. For the record, I am in no way displeased about my friends wedding...
All suggestions will be taken in good faith...
Keep it short - people will thank you for it. Don't try to squeeze his life story into the speech. If you must add jokes go for cheesy family safe.
Or do this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUeiBy9YFzk
Though the first bit of the opening section is quite reusable (last thing I should do is forget my speech)
Or do this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUeiBy9YFzk
Though the first bit of the opening section is quite reusable (last thing I should do is forget my speech)
Keep it to a length you are comfortable with. Practise it.
Mine I guess followed a fairly standard pattern:
Thanked everyone for being there
Congrats to the couple
Bit of a story of how I met my mate and how he met his missus - this is where I made the jokes (which came off thankfully)
Bit of slush about how happy they will be
Toast
Done.
Mine I guess followed a fairly standard pattern:
Thanked everyone for being there
Congrats to the couple
Bit of a story of how I met my mate and how he met his missus - this is where I made the jokes (which came off thankfully)
Bit of slush about how happy they will be
Toast
Done.
I've done 3. Hated it every time!
First thing to sort out is what presentation style do you need - can you work purely from memory, off reminder cards or did you want the whole thing written out? I always went for full thing written out as i know i struggle to ad-lib a speech but read it plenty of time in advance so i really didnt need it except as a reminder.
Next step is stories - what have you got about the groom? Got a story which is OK but not great - exaggeration is your friend here.
Get together 2 - 3 of these stories which are mildly embarassing but not "he porked his cousin once".
I tried to then embed these stories into wider personality traits - try to make the traits positive but the story less so.
e.g. "John is very persistant, he has a never give up attitude. One night he displayed this by returning back home slightly worse for wear. I heard him attempt the stairs for 10 full minutes, he smashed up tables, destroyed a door that he fell back into but he eventually made the summit and celebrated his victory by passing out on the bathroom floor" - but try to make yours better!
Then top and tail with the normal s
t.
Simple.
Or just freestyle a rap.
Good luck.
First thing to sort out is what presentation style do you need - can you work purely from memory, off reminder cards or did you want the whole thing written out? I always went for full thing written out as i know i struggle to ad-lib a speech but read it plenty of time in advance so i really didnt need it except as a reminder.
Next step is stories - what have you got about the groom? Got a story which is OK but not great - exaggeration is your friend here.
Get together 2 - 3 of these stories which are mildly embarassing but not "he porked his cousin once".
I tried to then embed these stories into wider personality traits - try to make the traits positive but the story less so.
e.g. "John is very persistant, he has a never give up attitude. One night he displayed this by returning back home slightly worse for wear. I heard him attempt the stairs for 10 full minutes, he smashed up tables, destroyed a door that he fell back into but he eventually made the summit and celebrated his victory by passing out on the bathroom floor" - but try to make yours better!
Then top and tail with the normal s
t. Simple.
Or just freestyle a rap.
Good luck.
My advice would be to research and rehearse, do NOT wing it, had a couple of mates who did this (because they were nervous) and it was butt clenching. There's some really good material out there for you to plagiarise, just pick some witty one liners and weave them into a diatribe about the groom, you'll be fine.
The best speeches I have heard and enjoyed are the ones that keep it short, tell a funny story and maybe allude to the groom’s animalistic feral past before he settled down with wife but never actually detail anything, quick toast, well wishes, done.
The worst ones are the ones packed with tales of laddy behaviour, jokes at people’s expense and generally trying too hard to stitch the groom up.
It’s their special day let them enjoy it, not be worried about what they’ll have to explain later on.
The worst ones are the ones packed with tales of laddy behaviour, jokes at people’s expense and generally trying too hard to stitch the groom up.
It’s their special day let them enjoy it, not be worried about what they’ll have to explain later on.
I've done three. They've got steadily better. The last one was worthy of a TED talk.
Try and find a way to enjoy it - remember, you're speaking to the friendliest audience you'll ever have. Nobody is awarding any points at the end, they just want you to say some funny things and some nice things so they can slap you on the back and congratulate you. Give the people what they want.
There's nothing quite like the warm, fuzzy feeling when your mate, the groom, shakes your hand afterwards and says "thanks mate".
Try and find a way to enjoy it - remember, you're speaking to the friendliest audience you'll ever have. Nobody is awarding any points at the end, they just want you to say some funny things and some nice things so they can slap you on the back and congratulate you. Give the people what they want.
There's nothing quite like the warm, fuzzy feeling when your mate, the groom, shakes your hand afterwards and says "thanks mate".
Just make sure you know your audience. I was at a wedding a few years ago where the best man recounted a number of incredibly graphic stories about the groom that resulted in parents taking their young children out of the room. The bride wasn't happy with the best man either as she didn't know about any of what her new husband had been up to.
Dont forget that it will be the friendliest crowd you will speak in front of...
Everyone there will be hoping it goes well for you, and will laugh if you give them the slightest reason to.
Just dont say anything controversial about the groom / bride / mother in law and you will be fine.
Also... dont rely on dutch courage to get you through.. my brother in law and his best man were both put to bed at 10:30 on the wedding night cause they skulled a load of pints to help get through the speeches!
Good luck!
Everyone there will be hoping it goes well for you, and will laugh if you give them the slightest reason to.
Just dont say anything controversial about the groom / bride / mother in law and you will be fine.
Also... dont rely on dutch courage to get you through.. my brother in law and his best man were both put to bed at 10:30 on the wedding night cause they skulled a load of pints to help get through the speeches!
Good luck!
HughiusMaximus said:
Dont forget that it will be the friendliest crowd you will speak in front of...
Everyone there will be hoping it goes well for you, and will laugh if you give them the slightest reason to.
Just dont say anything controversial about the groom / bride / mother in law and you will be fine.
Also... dont rely on dutch courage to get you through.. my brother in law and his best man were both put to bed at 10:30 on the wedding night cause they skulled a load of pints to help get through the speeches!
Good luck!
If I start drinking in the afternoon I'm doing bloody well to still be awake at 10:30!Everyone there will be hoping it goes well for you, and will laugh if you give them the slightest reason to.
Just dont say anything controversial about the groom / bride / mother in law and you will be fine.
Also... dont rely on dutch courage to get you through.. my brother in law and his best man were both put to bed at 10:30 on the wedding night cause they skulled a load of pints to help get through the speeches!
Good luck!
I've done a couple. You can't go far wrong with:
Introduce yourself and maybe a small joke "this is going to be the best kind of speech - a short one so we can all get on with dinner" kind of thing.
Slightly embarrassing but family friendly story about groom
But now he's with his lovely new bride and they'll be great together and we wish them well.
THINK OF YOUR AUDIENCE. Does new granny-in-law need to know about that time you all chipped in so he could fist a hooker for 20 quid?
Introduce yourself and maybe a small joke "this is going to be the best kind of speech - a short one so we can all get on with dinner" kind of thing.
Slightly embarrassing but family friendly story about groom
But now he's with his lovely new bride and they'll be great together and we wish them well.
THINK OF YOUR AUDIENCE. Does new granny-in-law need to know about that time you all chipped in so he could fist a hooker for 20 quid?
You can pick up of the thanks you’s and doesntbthe bride, bridesmaid etc look beautiful stuff online.
As for the rest it’s generally your duty to lay into the groom. My speech was short and sweet but had 5 minutes of taking the P out of my brother.
Helped that applied part of my speech in relation to my brothers job (prison officer) so plenty of easy jokes there.
Also took a modern turn on an old line I’m sure they used to do such as reading messages out from people that couldn’t be there that day I just converted this to posts on his Facebook that day ‘congrats on the wedding never knew you swung that way’ (from all the guys at the local gay bar). ‘Cheers for all the drugs and baccy etc’ (from all the boys on d wing) and as he’d been on holiday a few years ago to Asia ‘steve why you no call no more? The kids miss you!’ (From ting tong in Thailand)
As for the rest it’s generally your duty to lay into the groom. My speech was short and sweet but had 5 minutes of taking the P out of my brother.
Helped that applied part of my speech in relation to my brothers job (prison officer) so plenty of easy jokes there.
Also took a modern turn on an old line I’m sure they used to do such as reading messages out from people that couldn’t be there that day I just converted this to posts on his Facebook that day ‘congrats on the wedding never knew you swung that way’ (from all the guys at the local gay bar). ‘Cheers for all the drugs and baccy etc’ (from all the boys on d wing) and as he’d been on holiday a few years ago to Asia ‘steve why you no call no more? The kids miss you!’ (From ting tong in Thailand)
DrDeAtH said:
Thanks all.. if it helps, I have found out that they are marrying on world mental health day...
I need to work that in....
Without being tooo offensive...
Nice! Gives you a good intro as to your state of mind, only take the piss out of yourself, do not fall into the trap of trying to be stand-up if its not your profession and practice, keep it nice; both his Mum and hers will thank you for it, and he will get credit with FIL and MIL for having chosen the Best Man well, good luck I need to work that in....
Without being tooo offensive...
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