Etiquette question : best way to thank an (ex) supplier
Discussion
Had a stroke of good fortune today which has left a small dilemma in my mind.
I received an email from a chap who used to be a supplier. We had worked with him for many years and paid him well for his time. I also like him and we got on well. But we reached a point when I didn't value his advice/services quite as much as he thought they were worth, so we parted ways amicably (or as amicably as is possible in this situations) around a year ago.
In the email, after sharing pleasantries, he pointed out a very recent change in some regulations which could save us quite a lot of money - in the order of £5k per month. These saving might go on for a few months, maybe for up to a year, before they dissipate away.
I wasn't aware of these changes, and so fair play to him for pointing it out - I was impressed.
Now I'm sure his main objective was to be helpful, bearing in mind the work we had put his way over the years, but his email wasn't entirely altruistic. To take advantage of the savings requires some new processes and a new system, and he offered to do help us out with the system part at "cost price", using one of his suppliers - the price would be circa £500 / month.
So I made a few enquiries to investigate it further and found a company specialising in exactly what was needed. They had all of the details and were very switched on. I asked what they would charge and after a little bit of discussion the final price quoted was £400/month.
Now, I'm very grateful for the ex-supplier for taking the time to get in touch. He didn't need to do it, and he will save us maybe a total of circa £50k, if everything pans out as expected.
The logical answer is to use his services for the software part, as the cost difference is minor. However, having worked with him before, I feel he has a tenancy to sometimes gloss over detail which I personally find a little annoying.
So despite it being "his" idea, I think my interests are best served by contracting directly with the other specialist company, so I can speak directly to the experts myself.
That leaves me though in the awkward position of saying, "Thanks! but no thanks".
I was thinking of sending a nice email saying I would investigate his suggestion, and perhaps when it is all setup, sending him a nice gift to say thanks.
Of course, this will be the opposite of what he actually wants, which is for me to say, "wow, that's amazing, where do I sign up, and by the way, I should never have left you, do you want to start working together again?"
If he had been a new supplier with no preexisting relationship, I wouldn't feel obligated. But in the circumstances I do a little.
What would you do in this type of situation?
I received an email from a chap who used to be a supplier. We had worked with him for many years and paid him well for his time. I also like him and we got on well. But we reached a point when I didn't value his advice/services quite as much as he thought they were worth, so we parted ways amicably (or as amicably as is possible in this situations) around a year ago.
In the email, after sharing pleasantries, he pointed out a very recent change in some regulations which could save us quite a lot of money - in the order of £5k per month. These saving might go on for a few months, maybe for up to a year, before they dissipate away.
I wasn't aware of these changes, and so fair play to him for pointing it out - I was impressed.
Now I'm sure his main objective was to be helpful, bearing in mind the work we had put his way over the years, but his email wasn't entirely altruistic. To take advantage of the savings requires some new processes and a new system, and he offered to do help us out with the system part at "cost price", using one of his suppliers - the price would be circa £500 / month.
So I made a few enquiries to investigate it further and found a company specialising in exactly what was needed. They had all of the details and were very switched on. I asked what they would charge and after a little bit of discussion the final price quoted was £400/month.
Now, I'm very grateful for the ex-supplier for taking the time to get in touch. He didn't need to do it, and he will save us maybe a total of circa £50k, if everything pans out as expected.
The logical answer is to use his services for the software part, as the cost difference is minor. However, having worked with him before, I feel he has a tenancy to sometimes gloss over detail which I personally find a little annoying.
So despite it being "his" idea, I think my interests are best served by contracting directly with the other specialist company, so I can speak directly to the experts myself.
That leaves me though in the awkward position of saying, "Thanks! but no thanks".
I was thinking of sending a nice email saying I would investigate his suggestion, and perhaps when it is all setup, sending him a nice gift to say thanks.
Of course, this will be the opposite of what he actually wants, which is for me to say, "wow, that's amazing, where do I sign up, and by the way, I should never have left you, do you want to start working together again?"
If he had been a new supplier with no preexisting relationship, I wouldn't feel obligated. But in the circumstances I do a little.
What would you do in this type of situation?
You like him personally, you get on well with him, you don't state any professional failings, simply that he wanted more money than you thought he was worth..
He's proven he's ahead of the game (in that he's brought this to you before anyone else), he's going to save you £50k, and for the sake of £100 a month you're going to take his good advice and pay someone else you've never worked with before to enact it ?
Then to top it all off, you want to send him a trinket and pat him on the head.
Sheesh man, kick his dog and date his sister whilst you're at it!
In this situation, barring any exceptional circumstances, I'd do the honourable (and practical) things and Dance with the one that brought you.
He's proven he's ahead of the game (in that he's brought this to you before anyone else), he's going to save you £50k, and for the sake of £100 a month you're going to take his good advice and pay someone else you've never worked with before to enact it ?
Then to top it all off, you want to send him a trinket and pat him on the head.
Sheesh man, kick his dog and date his sister whilst you're at it!
In this situation, barring any exceptional circumstances, I'd do the honourable (and practical) things and Dance with the one that brought you.
if you are uncertain about his care for the details - then set up a way of working together to ensure that they are dealt with...
a supplier who is proactive enough to save you £50k even after you have got rid of them is a supplier worth having and keeping - and def. worth more than £100 a month... You presumably don't know what the weaknesses will be for the alternative supplier - but undoubtedly there will be some - no-one is perfect... so take the person who you know / get on with and is amazingly proactive...
a supplier who is proactive enough to save you £50k even after you have got rid of them is a supplier worth having and keeping - and def. worth more than £100 a month... You presumably don't know what the weaknesses will be for the alternative supplier - but undoubtedly there will be some - no-one is perfect... so take the person who you know / get on with and is amazingly proactive...
JamieBeeston said:
You like him personally, you get on well with him, you don't state any professional failings, simply that he wanted more money than you thought he was worth..
He's proven he's ahead of the game (in that he's brought this to you before anyone else), he's going to save you £50k, and for the sake of £100 a month you're going to take his good advice and pay someone else you've never worked with before to enact it ?
Then to top it all off, you want to send him a trinket and pat him on the head.
Sheesh man, kick his dog and date his sister whilst you're at it!
In this situation, barring any exceptional circumstances, I'd do the honourable (and practical) things and Dance with the one that brought you.
I gotta say that this is the same thoughts I had whilst reading the post. Seems very odd to bin him off over circa £100pm (when it may only be for a year) for someone you've never worked with.He's proven he's ahead of the game (in that he's brought this to you before anyone else), he's going to save you £50k, and for the sake of £100 a month you're going to take his good advice and pay someone else you've never worked with before to enact it ?
Then to top it all off, you want to send him a trinket and pat him on the head.
Sheesh man, kick his dog and date his sister whilst you're at it!
In this situation, barring any exceptional circumstances, I'd do the honourable (and practical) things and Dance with the one that brought you.
Thanks for the thoughts. So let me add a few extra points and see if that changes anyone's opinion.
Firstly, the old supplier's pricing is based on him doing me a "favour". I don't expect him to tell me the truth on that point, but as I mentioned earlier, I can buy the service I need at a lower price without it being used as leverage in some future guilt-trip. For example, lets say during the setup we need additional advice - the other company I spoke to include that within their fee. Knowing my old supplier, he will want to charge that as an extra.
Secondly, during the setup phase, my new supplier will need to work with the old supplier. That makes me a bit uncomfortable as that is never normally a good idea.
Thirdly, I don't want to switch back to the old supplier for the previous services he provided. And I know he will be inclined to periodically use the fact he helped provide this new service at "cost price", and the fact he has pointed out something very useful, to ask for his old contract back. And you never know, if one day he gets pissed off with me and decides to pull the plug, it would be very expensive. He never did that during our time together, although he did "joke" about it one time. I don't have any of this baggage with the new supplier.
In a way in kind of feels like going back out with an old girlfriend when you still remember all the reasons why you dumped her, and being wary of all of the likely future guilt trips and subtle manipulation which might be coming my way.
Hence why I was thinking, thank him for his email. Wait a few months and send him a nice case of £500 wine at Christmas (not linking it specifically to this, but just thanking him for all his previous help). Yes that would still make him gnash his teeth, but what else can I do?
Does that change your opinion?
Firstly, the old supplier's pricing is based on him doing me a "favour". I don't expect him to tell me the truth on that point, but as I mentioned earlier, I can buy the service I need at a lower price without it being used as leverage in some future guilt-trip. For example, lets say during the setup we need additional advice - the other company I spoke to include that within their fee. Knowing my old supplier, he will want to charge that as an extra.
Secondly, during the setup phase, my new supplier will need to work with the old supplier. That makes me a bit uncomfortable as that is never normally a good idea.
Thirdly, I don't want to switch back to the old supplier for the previous services he provided. And I know he will be inclined to periodically use the fact he helped provide this new service at "cost price", and the fact he has pointed out something very useful, to ask for his old contract back. And you never know, if one day he gets pissed off with me and decides to pull the plug, it would be very expensive. He never did that during our time together, although he did "joke" about it one time. I don't have any of this baggage with the new supplier.
In a way in kind of feels like going back out with an old girlfriend when you still remember all the reasons why you dumped her, and being wary of all of the likely future guilt trips and subtle manipulation which might be coming my way.
Hence why I was thinking, thank him for his email. Wait a few months and send him a nice case of £500 wine at Christmas (not linking it specifically to this, but just thanking him for all his previous help). Yes that would still make him gnash his teeth, but what else can I do?
Does that change your opinion?
EddieSteadyGo said:
Had a stroke of good fortune today which has left a small dilemma in my mind.
I received an email from a chap who used to be a supplier. We had worked with him for many years and paid him well for his time. I also like him and we got on well. But we reached a point when I didn't value his advice/services quite as much as he thought they were worth, so we parted ways amicably (or as amicably as is possible in this situations) around a year ago.
In the email, after sharing pleasantries, he pointed out a very recent change in some regulations which could save us quite a lot of money - in the order of £5k per month. These saving might go on for a few months, maybe for up to a year, before they dissipate away.
I wasn't aware of these changes, and so fair play to him for pointing it out - I was impressed.
Now I'm sure his main objective was to be helpful, bearing in mind the work we had put his way over the years, but his email wasn't entirely altruistic. To take advantage of the savings requires some new processes and a new system, and he offered to do help us out with the system part at "cost price", using one of his suppliers - the price would be circa £500 / month.
So I made a few enquiries to investigate it further and found a company specialising in exactly what was needed. They had all of the details and were very switched on. I asked what they would charge and after a little bit of discussion the final price quoted was £400/month.
Now, I'm very grateful for the ex-supplier for taking the time to get in touch. He didn't need to do it, and he will save us maybe a total of circa £50k, if everything pans out as expected.
The logical answer is to use his services for the software part, as the cost difference is minor. However, having worked with him before, I feel he has a tenancy to sometimes gloss over detail which I personally find a little annoying.
So despite it being "his" idea, I think my interests are best served by contracting directly with the other specialist company, so I can speak directly to the experts myself.
That leaves me though in the awkward position of saying, "Thanks! but no thanks".
I was thinking of sending a nice email saying I would investigate his suggestion, and perhaps when it is all setup, sending him a nice gift to say thanks.
Of course, this will be the opposite of what he actually wants, which is for me to say, "wow, that's amazing, where do I sign up, and by the way, I should never have left you, do you want to start working together again?"
If he had been a new supplier with no preexisting relationship, I wouldn't feel obligated. But in the circumstances I do a little.
What would you do in this type of situation?
Pearls before swine,I received an email from a chap who used to be a supplier. We had worked with him for many years and paid him well for his time. I also like him and we got on well. But we reached a point when I didn't value his advice/services quite as much as he thought they were worth, so we parted ways amicably (or as amicably as is possible in this situations) around a year ago.
In the email, after sharing pleasantries, he pointed out a very recent change in some regulations which could save us quite a lot of money - in the order of £5k per month. These saving might go on for a few months, maybe for up to a year, before they dissipate away.
I wasn't aware of these changes, and so fair play to him for pointing it out - I was impressed.
Now I'm sure his main objective was to be helpful, bearing in mind the work we had put his way over the years, but his email wasn't entirely altruistic. To take advantage of the savings requires some new processes and a new system, and he offered to do help us out with the system part at "cost price", using one of his suppliers - the price would be circa £500 / month.
So I made a few enquiries to investigate it further and found a company specialising in exactly what was needed. They had all of the details and were very switched on. I asked what they would charge and after a little bit of discussion the final price quoted was £400/month.
Now, I'm very grateful for the ex-supplier for taking the time to get in touch. He didn't need to do it, and he will save us maybe a total of circa £50k, if everything pans out as expected.
The logical answer is to use his services for the software part, as the cost difference is minor. However, having worked with him before, I feel he has a tenancy to sometimes gloss over detail which I personally find a little annoying.
So despite it being "his" idea, I think my interests are best served by contracting directly with the other specialist company, so I can speak directly to the experts myself.
That leaves me though in the awkward position of saying, "Thanks! but no thanks".
I was thinking of sending a nice email saying I would investigate his suggestion, and perhaps when it is all setup, sending him a nice gift to say thanks.
Of course, this will be the opposite of what he actually wants, which is for me to say, "wow, that's amazing, where do I sign up, and by the way, I should never have left you, do you want to start working together again?"
If he had been a new supplier with no preexisting relationship, I wouldn't feel obligated. But in the circumstances I do a little.
What would you do in this type of situation?
EddieSteadyGo said:
Thanks for the thoughts. So let me add a few extra points and see if that changes anyone's opinion.
Firstly, the old supplier's pricing is based on him doing me a "favour". I don't expect him to tell me the truth on that point, but as I mentioned earlier, I can buy the service I need at a lower price without it being used as leverage in some future guilt-trip. For example, lets say during the setup we need additional advice - the other company I spoke to include that within their fee. Knowing my old supplier, he will want to charge that as an extra.
Secondly, during the setup phase, my new supplier will need to work with the old supplier. That makes me a bit uncomfortable as that is never normally a good idea.
Thirdly, I don't want to switch back to the old supplier for the previous services he provided. And I know he will be inclined to periodically use the fact he helped provide this new service at "cost price", and the fact he has pointed out something very useful, to ask for his old contract back. And you never know, if one day he gets pissed off with me and decides to pull the plug, it would be very expensive. He never did that during our time together, although he did "joke" about it one time. I don't have any of this baggage with the new supplier.
In a way in kind of feels like going back out with an old girlfriend when you still remember all the reasons why you dumped her, and being wary of all of the likely future guilt trips and subtle manipulation which might be coming my way.
Hence why I was thinking, thank him for his email. Wait a few months and send him a nice case of £500 wine at Christmas (not linking it specifically to this, but just thanking him for all his previous help). Yes that would still make him gnash his teeth, but what else can I do?
Does that change your opinion?
I'd still probably suck it up, this new company could be a right PITA when you actually start working together. If you decline the old supplier and another opportunity like this appears, you're not getting the email. The old supplier might not be perfect, but he just saved you £45k by being proactive, I'd want him involved in the business even if you just give him small jobs here and there.Firstly, the old supplier's pricing is based on him doing me a "favour". I don't expect him to tell me the truth on that point, but as I mentioned earlier, I can buy the service I need at a lower price without it being used as leverage in some future guilt-trip. For example, lets say during the setup we need additional advice - the other company I spoke to include that within their fee. Knowing my old supplier, he will want to charge that as an extra.
Secondly, during the setup phase, my new supplier will need to work with the old supplier. That makes me a bit uncomfortable as that is never normally a good idea.
Thirdly, I don't want to switch back to the old supplier for the previous services he provided. And I know he will be inclined to periodically use the fact he helped provide this new service at "cost price", and the fact he has pointed out something very useful, to ask for his old contract back. And you never know, if one day he gets pissed off with me and decides to pull the plug, it would be very expensive. He never did that during our time together, although he did "joke" about it one time. I don't have any of this baggage with the new supplier.
In a way in kind of feels like going back out with an old girlfriend when you still remember all the reasons why you dumped her, and being wary of all of the likely future guilt trips and subtle manipulation which might be coming my way.
Hence why I was thinking, thank him for his email. Wait a few months and send him a nice case of £500 wine at Christmas (not linking it specifically to this, but just thanking him for all his previous help). Yes that would still make him gnash his teeth, but what else can I do?
Does that change your opinion?
He just saved you £45K, is there a possibility it might be £200k next time?.
I think commercial confidence mean you don't have to disclose the full genesis and it is reasonable to limit what you do disclose in a commercial relationship. In business ideas alone are not necessarily valuable, the value is in realising the idea. Your description suggest you have done (doing) that.
Perhaps "We are working with (his competition) on project X, but think you can contribute the Y given our past relationship and recent correspondence". You are rewarding him by revealing the competition he may or may not be aware of, valuable information in itself, and potentially giving him the work you seem happy for him to supply at a cost of £1200.
What doesn't quite add up to me, is liking him and finding him annoying, you need to be clear in your own mind. He is either worth the effort or he is not, and is ongoing goodwill worth that £1200 to you.
However I'd agree with the following, sending him a nice email and token gift, seems more like rubbing his nose in it, than having a mutually rewarding business relationship.
Perhaps "We are working with (his competition) on project X, but think you can contribute the Y given our past relationship and recent correspondence". You are rewarding him by revealing the competition he may or may not be aware of, valuable information in itself, and potentially giving him the work you seem happy for him to supply at a cost of £1200.
What doesn't quite add up to me, is liking him and finding him annoying, you need to be clear in your own mind. He is either worth the effort or he is not, and is ongoing goodwill worth that £1200 to you.
However I'd agree with the following, sending him a nice email and token gift, seems more like rubbing his nose in it, than having a mutually rewarding business relationship.
JamieBeeston said:
You like him personally, you get on well with him, you don't state any professional failings, simply that he wanted more money than you thought he was worth..
He's proven he's ahead of the game (in that he's brought this to you before anyone else), he's going to save you £50k, and for the sake of £100 a month you're going to take his good advice and pay someone else you've never worked with before to enact it ?
Then to top it all off, you want to send him a trinket and pat him on the head.
Sheesh man, kick his dog and date his sister whilst you're at it!
In this situation, barring any exceptional circumstances, I'd do the honourable (and practical) things and Dance with the one that brought you.
He's proven he's ahead of the game (in that he's brought this to you before anyone else), he's going to save you £50k, and for the sake of £100 a month you're going to take his good advice and pay someone else you've never worked with before to enact it ?
Then to top it all off, you want to send him a trinket and pat him on the head.
Sheesh man, kick his dog and date his sister whilst you're at it!
In this situation, barring any exceptional circumstances, I'd do the honourable (and practical) things and Dance with the one that brought you.
Edited by 4x4Tyke on Sunday 26th August 01:44
Why not just be honest with him. Goes a very long way.
You could also give Supplier 1 the £1200 you saved using Supplier 2 as a thank you, finders fee, good will.
If you also need data / support from him so you can integrate the fix / update you should offer to cover his time and efforts for working with your team.
If he is in business, then money, however small is a good motivator and keeps the door open for him (to think) he has a way back in.
V.
You could also give Supplier 1 the £1200 you saved using Supplier 2 as a thank you, finders fee, good will.
If you also need data / support from him so you can integrate the fix / update you should offer to cover his time and efforts for working with your team.
If he is in business, then money, however small is a good motivator and keeps the door open for him (to think) he has a way back in.
V.
Sales people like honesty
Tell him you can go direct and save money but you will use him if he agreed to 2 conditions
1) he doesn’t gloss over detail
2) that you don’t want to pay additional costs as the other company wouldn’t charge you extra for other things
Or just give him £5k if you save £50k because of him when it all pans out
I wouldn’t personally give him wine as that is a bit of an insult for him saving you £50,000. Bit like a pat on the head for a good doggy!
Tell him you can go direct and save money but you will use him if he agreed to 2 conditions
1) he doesn’t gloss over detail
2) that you don’t want to pay additional costs as the other company wouldn’t charge you extra for other things
Or just give him £5k if you save £50k because of him when it all pans out
I wouldn’t personally give him wine as that is a bit of an insult for him saving you £50,000. Bit like a pat on the head for a good doggy!
Sound reasonable to me...I spend low 8 figures of my employers money on goods and services and rarely pay the lowest price - only the best one.
From his point of view, he can save you a bit of money, but why would he bother doing it for nothing? If he's getting even the full £100 difference between th two prices, it's still f
k all really unless he's on the dole so why not go ahead, make sure he knows youre doing him a favour so he doesn't get that moral high ground first and see what happens in the future.
From his point of view, he can save you a bit of money, but why would he bother doing it for nothing? If he's getting even the full £100 difference between th two prices, it's still f
k all really unless he's on the dole so why not go ahead, make sure he knows youre doing him a favour so he doesn't get that moral high ground first and see what happens in the future.In my old line of business it was standard (and expected) to pay for research or advice by putting work someone's way. (paying them commission perhaps for transactional work) I think if we'd paid with a gift it would be seen as insulting and the gift would probably be returned.
Yours is probably a different type of business and relationship and I'm not sure what the norms are.
Yours is probably a different type of business and relationship and I'm not sure what the norms are.
fesuvious said:
He has your best interests at the forefront.
He didn't try to lock in anything for info that saves you a considerable sum.
He has it all to gain.
You gained.
You have nothing to lose.
He has nothing further to lose.
You're not friends.
Bring him in, be blunt. Very blunt.
If he riles, or flails - meh.
If he comes on board, and you reach a mutually good contract / working relationship then, brilliant!
Because, the contents of his head you already know are valuable to you. It's only his business manners that pee you off.
This.... He didn't try to lock in anything for info that saves you a considerable sum.
He has it all to gain.
You gained.
You have nothing to lose.
He has nothing further to lose.
You're not friends.
Bring him in, be blunt. Very blunt.
If he riles, or flails - meh.
If he comes on board, and you reach a mutually good contract / working relationship then, brilliant!
Because, the contents of his head you already know are valuable to you. It's only his business manners that pee you off.
Be honest, tell him what you were unhappy about last time, tell him what you expect this time, and tell him you're happy to pay the right money as long as there are no problems.
You do need give him first refusal on the work because he bought the idea to you, and for the sake of £100/m you're really prepared to take a chance with someone you dont know and who could easily be worse than the original supplier?
sjc said:
I’d suggest he ballsed up when he said he’d do it at “cost”price at £500 a month, when someone else hasn’t mentioned cost price but can do it for £400.
Unless I’m missing something, why don’t you just go back and say you’ll do it at £400?
That's the kind of thing he would do. TBH in business, I don't expect people to tell me the truth on that kind of thing. I just strip out the flannel and judge it objectively as best I can. From his point of view he might have said it was cost price for two reasons;Unless I’m missing something, why don’t you just go back and say you’ll do it at £400?
i) He would hope it would make me less likely to get another quote (as an aside I *always* go to the effort of getting multiple quotes and I *always* try and gather multiple opinions from experts on a new topic I don't understand).
ii) By doing it at cost price, I would owe him some level of goodwill which he can leverage at some point in the future.
Condi said:
This....
Be honest, tell him what you were unhappy about last time, tell him what you expect this time, and tell him you're happy to pay the right money as long as there are no problems.
You do need give him first refusal on the work because he bought the idea to you, and for the sake of £100/m you're really prepared to take a chance with someone you dont know and who could easily be worse than the original supplier?
Fair points.Be honest, tell him what you were unhappy about last time, tell him what you expect this time, and tell him you're happy to pay the right money as long as there are no problems.
You do need give him first refusal on the work because he bought the idea to you, and for the sake of £100/m you're really prepared to take a chance with someone you dont know and who could easily be worse than the original supplier?
sas62 said:
In my old line of business it was standard (and expected) to pay for research or advice by putting work someone's way. (paying them commission perhaps for transactional work) I think if we'd paid with a gift it would be seen as insulting and the gift would probably be returned.
Yes, I think you are probably right on this. Gassing Station | Business | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff