Odd work behaviour - any issues?
Discussion
We had a works night out before the Bank Hols. There was a "Chiles" amount drunk by pretty much all concerned. Of course lots of slagging off the "Kermits" (as we call the managers) and they call us by our Muppet synonyms. So generally a pretty relaxed place and we do let our hair down on the socials.
One, slightly drunk to say the least, lady, was demonstrating her ability to drink Guinness by soaking the pads from her Wonderbra in the glass (rest of bra stayed on concealing any flesh) then sucking the pad dry. But this isn't what everyone remembers. No, it is her claim of "having masturbated at least once a day at work for the last 20 years, either just for fun, to relive boredom or to get rid of stress".
Now everyone thought this was just a tall story at the time (may well be and post event we've just put two and two together) but the last two days she's disappeared to the loo for a couple of periods of 20 minutes at a time. May be constipated, who knows. What none can remember is when she was away from her desk before (we probably only spend 1 -2 hrs / day at out desks, 5-6 hours in other offices on the same site).
As fate would have it her surname is Fox so as she returned from an "absence" this avo a contractor colleague (soon to be removed I suspect) remarked "Here is foxy fishy fingers back from her relief session". Of course she hit the roof (wondered if she actually remembers her outgoings last week).
She is a highly intelligent person, two degrees to do the job she does and is one of the best we have had. Just seems a strange thing to have said and a strange way to react to a position you've set yourself up for.
Just drink talking or a more serious medical condition that needs monitoring? I've remember this case and another one in Yorkshiore....
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-an...
Or even inappropriate for the workplace? If our Clients heard from a pure core business point of view I suspect she wouldn't be in demand as much - though maybe she would for new "business lines"?
She left early. Management and us muppets left confused today, fess up to HR?
One, slightly drunk to say the least, lady, was demonstrating her ability to drink Guinness by soaking the pads from her Wonderbra in the glass (rest of bra stayed on concealing any flesh) then sucking the pad dry. But this isn't what everyone remembers. No, it is her claim of "having masturbated at least once a day at work for the last 20 years, either just for fun, to relive boredom or to get rid of stress".
Now everyone thought this was just a tall story at the time (may well be and post event we've just put two and two together) but the last two days she's disappeared to the loo for a couple of periods of 20 minutes at a time. May be constipated, who knows. What none can remember is when she was away from her desk before (we probably only spend 1 -2 hrs / day at out desks, 5-6 hours in other offices on the same site).
As fate would have it her surname is Fox so as she returned from an "absence" this avo a contractor colleague (soon to be removed I suspect) remarked "Here is foxy fishy fingers back from her relief session". Of course she hit the roof (wondered if she actually remembers her outgoings last week).
She is a highly intelligent person, two degrees to do the job she does and is one of the best we have had. Just seems a strange thing to have said and a strange way to react to a position you've set yourself up for.
Just drink talking or a more serious medical condition that needs monitoring? I've remember this case and another one in Yorkshiore....
https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-an...
Or even inappropriate for the workplace? If our Clients heard from a pure core business point of view I suspect she wouldn't be in demand as much - though maybe she would for new "business lines"?
She left early. Management and us muppets left confused today, fess up to HR?
at foxy fishy fingers
If you're at an equal or higher level on the ladder than her, take her to one side and have a quiet word. If not, shut up and encourage your colleagues to do the same. You're all adults, presumably so bloody act like it. How on earth anyone could suggest any of her behaviour is inappropriate when none of you had an inkling before she told you - if it's even true - is beyond me. If you're all that self-centred and uninvolved with each other that 20 minute loo breaks aren't noticed you need to take a good look at that, too!
Edited by Pothole on Thursday 30th August 21:54
Ha-ha, never really thought to "toilet time" anyone at work - though strangely when I did a Visual Basic course in the mid / 90s the example we wrote was a "Toilet Timer" that sat on your desktop and you could work out the hours you spent per week on the loo. (With an option for contractors to work out how much clients money they had spent sinking the Bismark).
Of course prior to last week, toilet visits could include sneaking off for a fag as well, answering e-mails of a personal nature and posting via phone onto Pistonheads (blocked on work network). However now, everyone is of course paranoid. This mornings dispatch of the brown otter was so rapid I think I lifted off the seat defying gravity.
She is higher than me but lower than the Management whom are now scratching their heads at what to do. I did suggest we have a team brief and get it all out in the open but that didn't go down well.
It is strange as we're not the most "PC" of place, though we have a pretty diverse workplace that ticks most of the boxes for male / female / unknown / race / age / qualifications / abilities / disabilities. For example about 10 years ago in the "secret Santa" a double dildo turned up. Next year it was recycled via the secret Santa. Within about 3 more years the secret Santa basically had more butt plugs, dildos, vibrators in it than the Bank Holiday Pride parade at Canal Street in Manchester. In the end these were kept in a cupboard with the office Christmas Decs as the "objects comedy secret santa" that was played on newbies, whilst we reverted to a conventional secret Santa with bad ties, crap socks, etc.
Next few days will be fun.
Edited. Oh God, just realised FFF sits next to the cupboard with the Christmas decs and secret Santa objects in.........what is the betting she started it? (Well we know she is the one finishing it off every day)!
Of course prior to last week, toilet visits could include sneaking off for a fag as well, answering e-mails of a personal nature and posting via phone onto Pistonheads (blocked on work network). However now, everyone is of course paranoid. This mornings dispatch of the brown otter was so rapid I think I lifted off the seat defying gravity.
She is higher than me but lower than the Management whom are now scratching their heads at what to do. I did suggest we have a team brief and get it all out in the open but that didn't go down well.
It is strange as we're not the most "PC" of place, though we have a pretty diverse workplace that ticks most of the boxes for male / female / unknown / race / age / qualifications / abilities / disabilities. For example about 10 years ago in the "secret Santa" a double dildo turned up. Next year it was recycled via the secret Santa. Within about 3 more years the secret Santa basically had more butt plugs, dildos, vibrators in it than the Bank Holiday Pride parade at Canal Street in Manchester. In the end these were kept in a cupboard with the office Christmas Decs as the "objects comedy secret santa" that was played on newbies, whilst we reverted to a conventional secret Santa with bad ties, crap socks, etc.
Next few days will be fun.
Edited. Oh God, just realised FFF sits next to the cupboard with the Christmas decs and secret Santa objects in.........what is the betting she started it? (Well we know she is the one finishing it off every day)!
Well all was quieter today at work, think the boss has had a few words with everyone in private to calm things down.
Though he did as me to "Cum into his office" with a very distinct emphasis on the first word! FFF is more embarrassed about using the bra pads to drink Guinness as she can't remember that than the relief scenario apparently!
So out of curiosity tried this relieving oneself in the toilets....didn't really do anything for me or my productivity today, generally felt a bit sordid and intimidated with others coming in and out. Perhaps next time I should use one of the traps rather than the urinals?
Suspect this years Secret Santa is going to be pretty impressive though, already being talked about!
A colleague resurrected an old story of some of the other misgivings in our office - in the early days of digital cameras someone whom had borrowed the works camera had taken photos of his wife (both worked for us) and another lady at the weekend and either just copied his off the camera to a hard drive rather than copied and deleted. Interesting sitting in a meeting going through some topside weld inspections to then find one of your metallurgists boob naked to boob naked with another woman!
Though he did as me to "Cum into his office" with a very distinct emphasis on the first word! FFF is more embarrassed about using the bra pads to drink Guinness as she can't remember that than the relief scenario apparently!
So out of curiosity tried this relieving oneself in the toilets....didn't really do anything for me or my productivity today, generally felt a bit sordid and intimidated with others coming in and out. Perhaps next time I should use one of the traps rather than the urinals?
Suspect this years Secret Santa is going to be pretty impressive though, already being talked about!
A colleague resurrected an old story of some of the other misgivings in our office - in the early days of digital cameras someone whom had borrowed the works camera had taken photos of his wife (both worked for us) and another lady at the weekend and either just copied his off the camera to a hard drive rather than copied and deleted. Interesting sitting in a meeting going through some topside weld inspections to then find one of your metallurgists boob naked to boob naked with another woman!
Orchid1 said:
A girl in my team said when she was 18 she went to a strip club with her friends for a laugh and she got offered an interview for a position by the manager. I reckon she's talking utter s
te to gain attention though.
The woman concerned may have been talking rubbish also.
It happens. When I just passed my test i started seeing a lassie from pilton, nothing serious, she just liked to go for a razz round in the gte then get pumped up arthurs seat.te to gain attention though.The woman concerned may have been talking rubbish also.
She went into a strip club and got propositioned to work there, she did and she made an absolute fortune for an 18 year old, she got a clean wee xr2i and her own flat. She was a f
king mentalist behind the wheel though.Ha, I was going to try and subtitle this at the weekend but seems I don't need to bother given the link above!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co_DNpTMKXk
No wonder UKplc productivity is going down (pardon the pun).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=co_DNpTMKXk
No wonder UKplc productivity is going down (pardon the pun).
StanleyT said:
Is that a euphemism for what I think it is?
Nope, arthurs seat is a big hill in the middle of Edinburgh. There are some very quiet, secluded dark car parks up there if you want to get your hole in peace. What your thinking of was saved for in her flat, bit cramped in a 3 dr mk2 astra with a boot full of subs.
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