A very long year...
Discussion
This is a post I have half written a few times. We will see if I actually finish it and press Submit his time...
At the beginning of the year I moved from being self-employed to being employed by what was my largest client. My role had huge growth potential, but was very much hampered with the first steps needed not being implemented...
It transpired, after time that this was because my employers had shortly after I joined, had an opportunity to purchase a very well placed firm, that put them forward on the business plan by ten years. As a result I was on 'hold' for several months, while the purchase completed.
We now move on and I have a new role in the business, which has potential, but I have dropped several places in terms of position, and more importantly growth potential.
The personal impact has been significant. My income has reduced quite significantly, which based on growth was survivable. I've made a couple of Hail Mary's and had a little extra support from my employers on a short term basis. I have a target and need to exceed this for us to pay all of our bills. Because it's taken longer to sort things out, it is again unlikely that I will make target. I'm happy that we would have been ok, had what we agreed been put in place 6 weeks earlier. I'm not sure how my request to extend my Hail Mary a little further will go down - I suspect not well.
My wife is grumpy, as she has taken a part time job to help pay the bills (I'm grumpy as I would have liked her to take a full time job!). Her car is being sold and replaced with something cheaper. Our standard of life has been drastically reduced, and we are still struggling.
Despite all of this, at present I am doing a very similar job to my self-employed job last year, and still have to work hard, and occasionally long hours. My wife feels that as I am earning less, I should be working less, but I'm not wired that way. I want to do a good job, and get the work completed on-time, even it it means extra hours (which are normally driving home from somewhere distant, but tonight I made the mistake of bringing the laptop downstairs).
I'm confident that next year will be better, but this year is a real struggle. Hopefully I will still have a wife by then!
I'm not really sure what this thread is meant to achieve. I've got myself in this mess, with a little help from others, and can't see a way out of it, other than working my way out...
It's fair to say that I am stressed.
At the beginning of the year I moved from being self-employed to being employed by what was my largest client. My role had huge growth potential, but was very much hampered with the first steps needed not being implemented...
It transpired, after time that this was because my employers had shortly after I joined, had an opportunity to purchase a very well placed firm, that put them forward on the business plan by ten years. As a result I was on 'hold' for several months, while the purchase completed.
We now move on and I have a new role in the business, which has potential, but I have dropped several places in terms of position, and more importantly growth potential.
The personal impact has been significant. My income has reduced quite significantly, which based on growth was survivable. I've made a couple of Hail Mary's and had a little extra support from my employers on a short term basis. I have a target and need to exceed this for us to pay all of our bills. Because it's taken longer to sort things out, it is again unlikely that I will make target. I'm happy that we would have been ok, had what we agreed been put in place 6 weeks earlier. I'm not sure how my request to extend my Hail Mary a little further will go down - I suspect not well.
My wife is grumpy, as she has taken a part time job to help pay the bills (I'm grumpy as I would have liked her to take a full time job!). Her car is being sold and replaced with something cheaper. Our standard of life has been drastically reduced, and we are still struggling.
Despite all of this, at present I am doing a very similar job to my self-employed job last year, and still have to work hard, and occasionally long hours. My wife feels that as I am earning less, I should be working less, but I'm not wired that way. I want to do a good job, and get the work completed on-time, even it it means extra hours (which are normally driving home from somewhere distant, but tonight I made the mistake of bringing the laptop downstairs).
I'm confident that next year will be better, but this year is a real struggle. Hopefully I will still have a wife by then!
I'm not really sure what this thread is meant to achieve. I've got myself in this mess, with a little help from others, and can't see a way out of it, other than working my way out...
It's fair to say that I am stressed.
I'd say open up to your wife about how you are feeling. I used to work excessively and it got me in bother at home as she blamed me for never being there. I got frustrated at her getting frustrated at me and we were just unhappy a lot of the time.
Opening up about what was going on for us both made the difference and we now have boundaries around work. Made us both happier.
She will understand that you need to work harder to get through this patch, but that it will get better, but you have to show her that you understand how she feels about not having you around or tired when you are.
Good luck with it all
Opening up about what was going on for us both made the difference and we now have boundaries around work. Made us both happier.
She will understand that you need to work harder to get through this patch, but that it will get better, but you have to show her that you understand how she feels about not having you around or tired when you are.
Good luck with it all
It sounds daft, in fact I may be daft for offering-but if you'd like a chat over the phone then by all means PM me via PH.
I'm not saying I have all the answers but my best friend and I (he's actually now a business partner in one of my businesses) have one to ones every now and again-usually coinciding with our holidays together fortunately!-and every time we do I personally feel I come away from them totally enriched business wise never mind as mates.
I think it's just brilliant I can unload on him with stuff I never discuss at home and can take his issues on and we both give a different viewpoint to each other's businesses.
I hate networking because of all the bulls
t but me and my mate can do all the talking, brainstorming and problem solving we need.
I'm not saying I have all the answers but my best friend and I (he's actually now a business partner in one of my businesses) have one to ones every now and again-usually coinciding with our holidays together fortunately!-and every time we do I personally feel I come away from them totally enriched business wise never mind as mates.
I think it's just brilliant I can unload on him with stuff I never discuss at home and can take his issues on and we both give a different viewpoint to each other's businesses.
I hate networking because of all the bulls
t but me and my mate can do all the talking, brainstorming and problem solving we need.LaurasOtherHalf said:
It sounds daft, in fact I may be daft for offering-but if you'd like a chat over the phone then by all means PM me via PH.
I'm not saying I have all the answers but my best friend and I (he's actually now a business partner in one of my businesses) have one to ones every now and again-usually coinciding with our holidays together fortunately!-and every time we do I personally feel I come away from them totally enriched business wise never mind as mates.
I think it's just brilliant I can unload on him with stuff I never discuss at home and can take his issues on and we both give a different viewpoint to each other's businesses.
I hate networking because of all the bullst but me and my mate can do all the talking, brainstorming and problem solving we need.
It doesn't sound daft, and it is a very generous offer... At the moment I'm still going with head in the sand, and I'm not good at talking about this stuff in general... But I will get back to you if I may, if things progress to the stage that even I feel I should talk about them..I'm not saying I have all the answers but my best friend and I (he's actually now a business partner in one of my businesses) have one to ones every now and again-usually coinciding with our holidays together fortunately!-and every time we do I personally feel I come away from them totally enriched business wise never mind as mates.
I think it's just brilliant I can unload on him with stuff I never discuss at home and can take his issues on and we both give a different viewpoint to each other's businesses.
I hate networking because of all the bulls
t but me and my mate can do all the talking, brainstorming and problem solving we need.The simple thing is which do you value most, your wife and family or the job? Not being flippant but unless you have their 100% support keeping your head down is not probably going to work.
What you need to do is be 100% sure the company you work for is going to give you all the things you had before. If not, can you restart the business you had and get back to where you were.
Not a nice situation but one you will have to face sooner or later it would appear to me. Whatever you do do not bottle it up inside as that can be a lonely path to take
What you need to do is be 100% sure the company you work for is going to give you all the things you had before. If not, can you restart the business you had and get back to where you were.
Not a nice situation but one you will have to face sooner or later it would appear to me. Whatever you do do not bottle it up inside as that can be a lonely path to take
Some good advice up there.
As a self employer person myself, give how far you seem to have dropped in the pecking order as part of the shake up, I'd be making it clear that I expected to see myself moving upwards pretty rapidly and starting to do so pretty soon.
Otherwise, I'd be thinking very much along the lines of jacking it in and returning to self employment whilst you can pick up on as many of your old contacts/clients etc as possible.
On of the best pieces of advice I ever received was that sometimes it's harder to say something hasn't worked, cut your losses and start again than keep buggering on (I don't mean that to downplay your current dilemma in any way).
As a self employer person myself, give how far you seem to have dropped in the pecking order as part of the shake up, I'd be making it clear that I expected to see myself moving upwards pretty rapidly and starting to do so pretty soon.
Otherwise, I'd be thinking very much along the lines of jacking it in and returning to self employment whilst you can pick up on as many of your old contacts/clients etc as possible.
On of the best pieces of advice I ever received was that sometimes it's harder to say something hasn't worked, cut your losses and start again than keep buggering on (I don't mean that to downplay your current dilemma in any way).
I dont think you say why you decided to go with them in the first place but if you have given it a decent amount of time and it isn't working out then why don't you simply walk away and go back to working for yourself? If your current employer has changed plans they may even prefer to sub contract you as they need you rather than the mill stone of PAYE/NI/Pensions etc.
Life is too short to do something you dont enjoy so if it doesn't look like it will change itself then you need to change it. Also involve your wife as she will more than likely be sympathetic.
Life is too short to do something you dont enjoy so if it doesn't look like it will change itself then you need to change it. Also involve your wife as she will more than likely be sympathetic.
surveyor said:
My wife feels that as I am earning less, I should be working less
Yet your income is target-based? Mmm. Not sure about that theory...You haven't got yourself in this mess. You took a calculated gamble, based on information that - while honestly intended - turned out not to be fully accurate for reasons outside your control.
Sounds like time to be looking around for a new job, or try to re-establish your old self-employment. Would your current employer go back to being your client?
Hmm im always in two minds over these kinds of issues
On the one hand, life sounds tough and getting you down , sounds a tough situation and hard work, I have empathy, we have all been there and I dont miss that dark place.
On the other, its a job,MTFU and get on with it, buying your wife a cheaper car and sending her to work isn't the end of the world. If shes moaning about that, then thats the way life rolls at times. There are plenty of people far far worse off than yourself - me included! I remember starting this year by the Dr telling me my son hadn't made it and is no longer breathing.....Thankfully he is OK now, but that puts things in perspective to me.
I would take some holiday, just a week /10 days, get some space and time to think, Sounds like you cant see the wood for the trees
As above, can you just go back to self employment?
On the one hand, life sounds tough and getting you down , sounds a tough situation and hard work, I have empathy, we have all been there and I dont miss that dark place.
On the other, its a job,MTFU and get on with it, buying your wife a cheaper car and sending her to work isn't the end of the world. If shes moaning about that, then thats the way life rolls at times. There are plenty of people far far worse off than yourself - me included! I remember starting this year by the Dr telling me my son hadn't made it and is no longer breathing.....Thankfully he is OK now, but that puts things in perspective to me.
I would take some holiday, just a week /10 days, get some space and time to think, Sounds like you cant see the wood for the trees
As above, can you just go back to self employment?
Edited by TwistingMyMelon on Friday 14th September 11:47
I fear you may look at this post in 5 years time and wish you had resigned when you wrote it.
You don't owe your employer any favours and if they took you on and promised you a certain career path and pay grade but then decided to sideline all that as it didnt suit anymore then I'd question what respect they have for you.
You don't owe your employer any favours and if they took you on and promised you a certain career path and pay grade but then decided to sideline all that as it didnt suit anymore then I'd question what respect they have for you.
Integroo said:
Is there a reason your wife cannot work full time?
I suspect there's a lot of "domestic discussion" around that hidden behind this line...surveyor said:
My wife is grumpy, as she has taken a part time job to help pay the bills (I'm grumpy as I would have liked her to take a full time job!)
dibbers006 said:
Whenever you're employed by someone, they are going to string you along and extract every ounce of worth out of you. Whether that is detrimental to your well-being or not is not their concern.
Sorry but I have to disagree and that this is not the general mindset of many modern businesses. There are plenty of studies that show the impact of wellbeing in the workplace and its effect on productivity, the idea like the above is something out of the 70s. I run a team and report in to the board of the company I work at, employee wellbeing and morale is always near the top of the agenda if not top as it drives retention, reduction in costs, effective output etc. amongst many other things.Can totally believe some companies do this, but many do not, you cannot tar 'being employed by someone' in the way above with any credibility.
With regards to the issue at hand, it sounds like your solutions so far have been to heavily impact your personal life be it working on laptop at home to asking your wife to change her lifestyle - whilst keeping the status quo i.e. in a job you dislike and are demotivated by which you are literally working through on attrition alone.
To me it sounds like you are letting this drag out and affect home life without taking affirmative action on the actual job? If it's not a viable future career as pay is too low, what are you doing to change this within the work context rather than the home context?
coldel said:
dibbers006 said:
Whenever you're employed by someone, they are going to string you along and extract every ounce of worth out of you. Whether that is detrimental to your well-being or not is not their concern.
Sorry but I have to disagree and that this is not the general mindset of many modern businesses. There are plenty of studies that show the impact of wellbeing in the workplace and its effect on productivity, the idea like the above is something out of the 70s. I run a team and report in to the board of the company I work at, employee wellbeing and morale is always near the top of the agenda if not top as it drives retention, reduction in costs, effective output etc. amongst many other things.Can totally believe some companies do this, but many do not, you cannot tar 'being employed by someone' in the way above with any credibility.
Both my current and previous companies were taken over by American public companies. The only thing they care about is share price, they absolutely could not give a toss about employee morale.
In the last 6 months, many of my colleagues have been working into the night and weekends. We have have several people signed off for stress, including one this week (good, competent managers). We have had several people leave without having a new job lined up simply because they can't take it anymore.
The previous company wasn't quite that bad - but almost.
davek_964 said:
I think there are plenty of companies that still do it - in my experience, it's also far more likely if it's an American company.
Both my current and previous companies were taken over by American public companies. The only thing they care about is share price, they absolutely could not give a toss about employee morale.
In the last 6 months, many of my colleagues have been working into the night and weekends. We have have several people signed off for stress, including one this week (good, competent managers). We have had several people leave without having a new job lined up simply because they can't take it anymore.
The previous company wasn't quite that bad - but almost.
Yep like I said can imagine companies still do it, but to tar all companies in the way of saying being employed by anyone means they will work every ounce out of you with no regard for your well-being is factually incorrect. Both my current and previous companies were taken over by American public companies. The only thing they care about is share price, they absolutely could not give a toss about employee morale.
In the last 6 months, many of my colleagues have been working into the night and weekends. We have have several people signed off for stress, including one this week (good, competent managers). We have had several people leave without having a new job lined up simply because they can't take it anymore.
The previous company wasn't quite that bad - but almost.
Jasandjules said:
Not being funny at all and whilst it may sound flippant - Leave and go back to what you were doing before.
exactly my sentiments - your present employer clearly isn't valuing you if they've backpedalled on your initial agreement - so in the words of william wordworth - 'fukum'Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff