Discussion
This may be the wrong thread for this although it does involve the law.
My wife's brother is a vicar, 35 years ago he married a divorced lady with 3 sons and consequently brought them up as if they were his own. Never had children of his own with wife.
Fast forward 30 years and two of the boys seemed to be doing very well, setting up their own companies, earning huge amounts of money and gifting their parents cars and expensive holidays.
then, a couple of months ago my wife and I found out completely by accident that the two lads were in prison serving over 7 years apiece for a very serious fraud involving millions of pounds. ( they were conning members of the public and vulnerable older people ) When we found out they had already been inside for over a year.
Now for the dilemma. The parents have never mentioned this to us or my wife's mother. ( would mention that they live 300 miles from us so we don't see them that often although we do have an annual holiday with them ) But, they are coming to visit next week so should we let on that we know or keep quiet ?
They are obviously very embarrassed by the situation and I feel that if they wanted us to know they would tell us but my wife thinks we should say something as we if we don't it will always be hanging over us.
Your thoughts ?
My wife's brother is a vicar, 35 years ago he married a divorced lady with 3 sons and consequently brought them up as if they were his own. Never had children of his own with wife.
Fast forward 30 years and two of the boys seemed to be doing very well, setting up their own companies, earning huge amounts of money and gifting their parents cars and expensive holidays.
then, a couple of months ago my wife and I found out completely by accident that the two lads were in prison serving over 7 years apiece for a very serious fraud involving millions of pounds. ( they were conning members of the public and vulnerable older people ) When we found out they had already been inside for over a year.
Now for the dilemma. The parents have never mentioned this to us or my wife's mother. ( would mention that they live 300 miles from us so we don't see them that often although we do have an annual holiday with them ) But, they are coming to visit next week so should we let on that we know or keep quiet ?
They are obviously very embarrassed by the situation and I feel that if they wanted us to know they would tell us but my wife thinks we should say something as we if we don't it will always be hanging over us.
Your thoughts ?
Keep schtum - it'll be difficult to stop yourselves alluding to it even if you don't mean to (constantly asking about the boys just so that you don't forget to ask about them, which would be suspicious, that sort of thing!) but you should try.
Who knows - maybe they're planning to fess up while they're staying with you?
Who knows - maybe they're planning to fess up while they're staying with you?
They'd probably think it was strange if you didn't ask how the boys were doing so in your situation I'd ask. They'll either use that as an opportunity to tell you what's been going on or they'll deflect it with an "oh they're fine" type of comment; if they do the former it's all out in the open and you can discuss it and move on, if it's the latter I'd interpret that as meaning they don't want to talk about it and hence I'd steer clear of mentioning the boys again during the visit.
JNW1 said:
They'd probably think it was strange if you didn't ask how the boys were doing so in your situation I'd ask. They'll either use that as an opportunity to tell you what's been going on or they'll deflect it with an "oh they're fine" type of comment; if they do the former it's all out in the open and you can discuss it and move on, if it's the latter I'd interpret that as meaning they don't want to talk about it and hence I'd steer clear of mentioning the boys again during the visit.
^ This, definitely.JNW1 said:
They'd probably think it was strange if you didn't ask how the boys were doing so in your situation I'd ask. They'll either use that as an opportunity to tell you what's been going on or they'll deflect it with an "oh they're fine" type of comment; if they do the former it's all out in the open and you can discuss it and move on, if it's the latter I'd interpret that as meaning they don't want to talk about it and hence I'd steer clear of mentioning the boys again during the visit.
Yes, that probably sounds the best idea. Will see how it goes.PAULJ5555 said:
Ask him what the lord has to say about them conning OAP's. You could offer to all pray for their souls.
Or test how truthful the vicker is when you ask about the boys and what they are up to. Will the vicker lie?????????
I would hope it is enough of a moral dilemma for your BiL the vicar knowing where the money for the gifts came from, no need to add to the embarrasment. Or test how truthful the vicker is when you ask about the boys and what they are up to. Will the vicker lie?????????
thatjagbloke said:
JNW1 said:
They'd probably think it was strange if you didn't ask how the boys were doing so in your situation I'd ask. They'll either use that as an opportunity to tell you what's been going on or they'll deflect it with an "oh they're fine" type of comment; if they do the former it's all out in the open and you can discuss it and move on, if it's the latter I'd interpret that as meaning they don't want to talk about it and hence I'd steer clear of mentioning the boys again during the visit.
Yes, that probably sounds the best idea. Will see how it goes.thatjagbloke said:
JNW1 said:
They'd probably think it was strange if you didn't ask how the boys were doing so in your situation I'd ask. They'll either use that as an opportunity to tell you what's been going on or they'll deflect it with an "oh they're fine" type of comment; if they do the former it's all out in the open and you can discuss it and move on, if it's the latter I'd interpret that as meaning they don't want to talk about it and hence I'd steer clear of mentioning the boys again during the visit.
Yes, that probably sounds the best idea. Will see how it goes.thatjagbloke said:
This may be the wrong thread for this although it does involve the law.
My wife's brother is a vicar, 35 years ago he married a divorced lady with 3 sons and consequently brought them up as if they were his own. Never had children of his own with wife.
Fast forward 30 years and two of the boys seemed to be doing very well, setting up their own companies, earning huge amounts of money and gifting their parents cars and expensive holidays.
then, a couple of months ago my wife and I found out completely by accident that the two lads were in prison serving over 7 years apiece for a very serious fraud involving millions of pounds. ( they were conning members of the public and vulnerable older people ) When we found out they had already been inside for over a year.
Now for the dilemma. The parents have never mentioned this to us or my wife's mother. ( would mention that they live 300 miles from us so we don't see them that often although we do have an annual holiday with them ) But, they are coming to visit next week so should we let on that we know or keep quiet ?
They are obviously very embarrassed by the situation and I feel that if they wanted us to know they would tell us but my wife thinks we should say something as we if we don't it will always be hanging over us.
Your thoughts ?
This wasnt a scam involving solar panels was it?My wife's brother is a vicar, 35 years ago he married a divorced lady with 3 sons and consequently brought them up as if they were his own. Never had children of his own with wife.
Fast forward 30 years and two of the boys seemed to be doing very well, setting up their own companies, earning huge amounts of money and gifting their parents cars and expensive holidays.
then, a couple of months ago my wife and I found out completely by accident that the two lads were in prison serving over 7 years apiece for a very serious fraud involving millions of pounds. ( they were conning members of the public and vulnerable older people ) When we found out they had already been inside for over a year.
Now for the dilemma. The parents have never mentioned this to us or my wife's mother. ( would mention that they live 300 miles from us so we don't see them that often although we do have an annual holiday with them ) But, they are coming to visit next week so should we let on that we know or keep quiet ?
They are obviously very embarrassed by the situation and I feel that if they wanted us to know they would tell us but my wife thinks we should say something as we if we don't it will always be hanging over us.
Your thoughts ?
Gassing Station | Speed, Plod & the Law | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff