Discussion
d. I have to get up half an hour before I go to sleep.Silent fireworks, that's what's needed: https://dogtime.com/trending/33475-town-italy-swit...
When you seem them advertised they always have such preposterously exaggerated names and descriptions..
Dominator!! = 10 seconds of pretty colours and few whistles.
The Exterminator! = 5 seconds and £25 for a few bangs and some silvery sparkles..
Pillar of Fire!! = Grossly over packaged golden fizzing cone with 1/4 filling that farts for 15 seconds and scorches the block paving.
Wheel of death!! = Rotating fence singer, that won't turn as the nail is too tight, so burns away at one section of your trelise for 7 seconds while you try and flick it round with your only unburn finger after the earlier incident with the sparklers.
If firework vendors were required to give actual honest descriptions and names to their products things would be a lot different..
Here are some new ones..
1) The Big Disappointment. A box the size of bournemouth for £60 that last 3 seconds..
2) The complete waste of money. The same box as above but with different wrapping paper and £10 more expensive.
3) You've been conned. The knock off rocket box that was banned by trading standards as they fly into your neighbours greenhouse.
4) Council ghetto inferno.. The Sky TV wallers and benefits scroungers special have better fireworks than Edinburgh on new years eve. All paid for with our money and starting on 31/10 and ending sometime on 8/11....
Dominator!! = 10 seconds of pretty colours and few whistles.
The Exterminator! = 5 seconds and £25 for a few bangs and some silvery sparkles..
Pillar of Fire!! = Grossly over packaged golden fizzing cone with 1/4 filling that farts for 15 seconds and scorches the block paving.
Wheel of death!! = Rotating fence singer, that won't turn as the nail is too tight, so burns away at one section of your trelise for 7 seconds while you try and flick it round with your only unburn finger after the earlier incident with the sparklers.
If firework vendors were required to give actual honest descriptions and names to their products things would be a lot different..
Here are some new ones..
1) The Big Disappointment. A box the size of bournemouth for £60 that last 3 seconds..
2) The complete waste of money. The same box as above but with different wrapping paper and £10 more expensive.
3) You've been conned. The knock off rocket box that was banned by trading standards as they fly into your neighbours greenhouse.
4) Council ghetto inferno.. The Sky TV wallers and benefits scroungers special have better fireworks than Edinburgh on new years eve. All paid for with our money and starting on 31/10 and ending sometime on 8/11....
peterperkins said:
When you seem them advertised they always have such preposterously exaggerated names and descriptions..
Dominator!! = 10 seconds of pretty colours and few whistles.
The Exterminator! = 5 seconds and £25 for a few bangs and some silvery sparkles..
Pillar of Fire!! = Grossly over packaged golden fizzing cone with 1/4 filling that farts for 15 seconds and scorches the block paving.
Wheel of death!! = Rotating fence singer, that won't turn as the nail is too tight, so burns away at one section of your trelise for 7 seconds while you try and flick it round with your only unburn finger after the earlier incident with the sparklers.
If firework vendors were required to give actual honest descriptions and names to their products things would be a lot different..
Here are some new ones..
1) The Big Disappointment. A box the size of bournemouth for £60 that last 3 seconds..
2) The complete waste of money. The same box as above but with different wrapping paper and £10 more expensive.
3) You've been conned. The knock off rocket box that was banned by trading standards as they fly into your neighbours greenhouse.
4) Council ghetto inferno.. The Sky TV wallers and benefits scroungers special have better fireworks than Edinburgh on new years eve. All paid for with our money and starting on 31/10 and ending sometime on 8/11....
The Fizzle - never more than a glow.Dominator!! = 10 seconds of pretty colours and few whistles.
The Exterminator! = 5 seconds and £25 for a few bangs and some silvery sparkles..
Pillar of Fire!! = Grossly over packaged golden fizzing cone with 1/4 filling that farts for 15 seconds and scorches the block paving.
Wheel of death!! = Rotating fence singer, that won't turn as the nail is too tight, so burns away at one section of your trelise for 7 seconds while you try and flick it round with your only unburn finger after the earlier incident with the sparklers.
If firework vendors were required to give actual honest descriptions and names to their products things would be a lot different..
Here are some new ones..
1) The Big Disappointment. A box the size of bournemouth for £60 that last 3 seconds..
2) The complete waste of money. The same box as above but with different wrapping paper and £10 more expensive.
3) You've been conned. The knock off rocket box that was banned by trading standards as they fly into your neighbours greenhouse.
4) Council ghetto inferno.. The Sky TV wallers and benefits scroungers special have better fireworks than Edinburgh on new years eve. All paid for with our money and starting on 31/10 and ending sometime on 8/11....
The Damp Squid - lot of smoke but it really does smell of cephalopod.
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