Anyone else here go to boarding school?
Discussion
What did you think of it? I boarded for three years and on the whole, found it a very unpleasant experience. There were genuine plus points though. The friendships formed were intense and genuine, given that we were all thrown into the same set of odd circumstances. I think overall, I would say that if I had the opportunity to relive my life, I would leave boarding school part intact, as it is so much a part of me today.
One thing I can say is that now I can deal with most challenging situations because nothing can really come close to the feeling of being dropped off in the dead of winter in the dark, at a genuinely imposing and scary looking Victorian building, and having your parents drive off into the distance.
One thing I can say is that now I can deal with most challenging situations because nothing can really come close to the feeling of being dropped off in the dead of winter in the dark, at a genuinely imposing and scary looking Victorian building, and having your parents drive off into the distance.
Yes . Prep school in 1971 . Then to another before moving to the senior school
Much the same . Makes you very independent . But I still want to batter any nonce priests I see . It was going on all around . But lucky for me I only received the violent punishment stuff . Other kids would be “done in the bum “ often .
Much the same . Makes you very independent . But I still want to batter any nonce priests I see . It was going on all around . But lucky for me I only received the violent punishment stuff . Other kids would be “done in the bum “ often .
paulguitar said:
One thing I can say is that now I can deal with most challenging situations because nothing can really come close to the feeling of being dropped off in the dead of winter in the dark, at a genuinely imposing and scary looking Victorian building, and having your parents drive off into the distance.
Dropped off at the school gates, eee, you were lucky, I were sent on a BR Sunday night Derby Lightweight bogvan from Sheffield to Barnsley and when I got off train I 'ad to lick the road all the way to school.I quite liked it tbh for a few of years. I don't think I'd have done as well as normal school. I went to my Dad's Alma mater that my Grandad was Head at for a time (not when my Dad was there). But at 14 I returned to the local grammar. The worst thing was now, no one knew me and trying to get friendships with people four years ago at junior school I'd sat next to was hard. Plus there were these things called "girls" which I was a bit behind on (habit of school fags).
So suddenly felt a bit out of it "back in society", long and short ended up with a massive fight with the school bully and got a scrimshaw of respect from quite a few of the year even though I got pummelled.
1st GF was a lass who'd been at private school likewise for a few years and had the same "not-belogingness" and a few partners in life have also had that same shared experience. Very nearly FUBARed in my hall of residence at uni when I mistook male "come on" behaviour as being similar to that at boarding school, now imagine if you have just tried to bum one of your other eight male flatmates in your first year at uni, living in the flat for another eight months until the end of the year.........
So good academically, probably pulling me out early meant I didn't get fully developed socially and may still have scars with emotional attachment?
My father tried VERY hard to send me to one aged 8-9 ish. There was no way in hell I was going to put up with it so it didn't happen. If they had forced me I would've absconded every single day until they gave up.
He was sent to a bunch that resemble Dracula's castle. It no doubt destroyed the ability for him to have a healthy relationship with anyone or anything.
He was sent to a bunch that resemble Dracula's castle. It no doubt destroyed the ability for him to have a healthy relationship with anyone or anything.
Boarding school from 7-16 years of age. Two schools. I'll echo the comment another poster made about making the pupil independent. Had some great times, and a few bad. I remained unmolested by paedophile teachers thankfully, and I don't know of anyone from the two schools I was at who was.
StanleyT said:
Dropped off at the school gates, eee, you were lucky, I were sent on a BR Sunday night Derby Lightweight bogvan from Sheffield to Barnsley and when I got off train I 'ad to lick the road all the way to school.
School? You were lucky to have a school. We had to board in a lake!Etc…
Puggit said:
Only 3 years? 10 here. Parents were moving house around Europe once a year, so got sent back home.
I knew musician called Paul. You don't have double barrelled surname by any chance?
Yeah, I only boarded for three years, but I was in prep school as a day-boy from 6-13.I knew musician called Paul. You don't have double barrelled surname by any chance?
Just the single barrel name I’m afraid.
Eachandeveryday said:
Yes . Prep school in 1971 . Then to another before moving to the senior school
Much the same . Makes you very independent . But I still want to batter any nonce priests I see . It was going on all around . But lucky for me I only received the violent punishment stuff . Other kids would be “done in the bum “ often .
I was lucky enough not to have been sexually molested by any teachers, or know anyone it happened to. Some were real bullies though, both physically and verbally.Much the same . Makes you very independent . But I still want to batter any nonce priests I see . It was going on all around . But lucky for me I only received the violent punishment stuff . Other kids would be “done in the bum “ often .
I think I had pretty much the good and bad of boarding school.
Boarding school in the UK for 5 years were I was bullied and had became isolated. Looking back I really didn’t help myself as I had always been awkward. But I left with excellent grades and sporting accomplishments but absolutely no self esteem or confidence.
2 years boarding in Switzerland in unique wonderful school that was more concerned with developing you as a person than your grades. My house master actually called my parents once I had been there a month to ask if I was okay because I had never argued with him or expressed my opinion (he would regret that). Long story short straight out of boarding school had the confidence to sit my parents down and told them I wouldn’t be attending uni listing the reasons and what I was going to do instead.
My Dad was blown away by the difference in me. He decided he wanted retire shortly after because I was ready to take over from him. Wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t moved schools.
So all round they can make you or brake you I’m a big believer there is school for everyone just have to find it.
Boarding school in the UK for 5 years were I was bullied and had became isolated. Looking back I really didn’t help myself as I had always been awkward. But I left with excellent grades and sporting accomplishments but absolutely no self esteem or confidence.
2 years boarding in Switzerland in unique wonderful school that was more concerned with developing you as a person than your grades. My house master actually called my parents once I had been there a month to ask if I was okay because I had never argued with him or expressed my opinion (he would regret that). Long story short straight out of boarding school had the confidence to sit my parents down and told them I wouldn’t be attending uni listing the reasons and what I was going to do instead.
My Dad was blown away by the difference in me. He decided he wanted retire shortly after because I was ready to take over from him. Wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t moved schools.
So all round they can make you or brake you I’m a big believer there is school for everyone just have to find it.
Yep. Fortunately it was a mixed school and no child abuse that I ever heard of (although echo above posts re bullying teachers but I think that was just a thing in the 80's).
I left at 14 as I told my parents that I was having too much fun and was never going to pass my exams.
My kids are both state educated and regaling exploits from boarding school seems a million miles away from their lives now
That said, my son has just come back from a school ski trip and I think finally gets that living with your mates 24/7 with lots of girls and rules to be broken is actually great fun
Last year my wife convinced me to watch Season 2 of The Crown on Netflix (bear with me) and out of the blue there was an episode in it called Paterfamilias which explored Prince Philip starting at Gordonstoun. It caught me completely off guard. For all my fun and positive memories, that piece of film instantly brought back the feelings of abandonment and isolation that I'd forgotten/suppressed. If you ever feel the need to share what it felt like to go to boarding school with somebody and/or need/want to face some demons, it is an incredibly powerful watch.
There was a great thread on this topic a year or so ago.
I left at 14 as I told my parents that I was having too much fun and was never going to pass my exams.
My kids are both state educated and regaling exploits from boarding school seems a million miles away from their lives now
That said, my son has just come back from a school ski trip and I think finally gets that living with your mates 24/7 with lots of girls and rules to be broken is actually great fun Last year my wife convinced me to watch Season 2 of The Crown on Netflix (bear with me) and out of the blue there was an episode in it called Paterfamilias which explored Prince Philip starting at Gordonstoun. It caught me completely off guard. For all my fun and positive memories, that piece of film instantly brought back the feelings of abandonment and isolation that I'd forgotten/suppressed. If you ever feel the need to share what it felt like to go to boarding school with somebody and/or need/want to face some demons, it is an incredibly powerful watch.
There was a great thread on this topic a year or so ago.
Yes. 5 years at a large boys only (now co-ed) boarding school. Loved every minute of it apart from the first year when adjusting to life away from home and the somewhat spartan conditions was inevitably difficult.
That said I'd make 2 points. There are obviously good and bad boarding schools but there are also boarding schools to which some kids are very well suited and others not at all. Many of them are pretty isolated and I was lucky that mine was not as I am not a country boy. Had I been, I would possibly not have enjoyed it as much. The second point is that many boarding schools (especially larger ones with say 600+ pupils) are incredibly Balkanised and the experience you have is determined more by which house you find yourself in than the school itself. I was again very lucky that I was in a house that suited my temperament, that was incredibly civilised by the standards of your typical public school 40 odd years ago, and that was run by a housemaster who did not tolerate any bullying or the general savagery that could infect those kind of places back then.
Bottom line was I learned independence, resilience, the ability to get on with people whether I liked them or not, and of course the most important quality of all that we learned at places like that...never, ever, ever show anyone your true feelings!
That said I'd make 2 points. There are obviously good and bad boarding schools but there are also boarding schools to which some kids are very well suited and others not at all. Many of them are pretty isolated and I was lucky that mine was not as I am not a country boy. Had I been, I would possibly not have enjoyed it as much. The second point is that many boarding schools (especially larger ones with say 600+ pupils) are incredibly Balkanised and the experience you have is determined more by which house you find yourself in than the school itself. I was again very lucky that I was in a house that suited my temperament, that was incredibly civilised by the standards of your typical public school 40 odd years ago, and that was run by a housemaster who did not tolerate any bullying or the general savagery that could infect those kind of places back then.
Bottom line was I learned independence, resilience, the ability to get on with people whether I liked them or not, and of course the most important quality of all that we learned at places like that...never, ever, ever show anyone your true feelings!
I did National Service.
It was noticeable that the young men who had been to public school found USB (Unit Selection Board) and WOSB (War Office Selection Board) which were the stepping stones to becoming an officer, much easier than men who had been to grammar school.
They had an easy self confidence.
It was noticeable that the young men who had been to public school found USB (Unit Selection Board) and WOSB (War Office Selection Board) which were the stepping stones to becoming an officer, much easier than men who had been to grammar school.
They had an easy self confidence.
Two years at a BFES boarding school in Germany after five years at a leading grammar school in the London suburbs. Probably not so bad if you were a forces child but I wasn't, my Dad was a civilian attached to the forces and I'd been used to a civilian lifestyle. I tolerated rather than enjoyed being there; it demotivated me and demoralised me.
ETA - what really pissed me off was that on passing the 11+ I took an entrance exam to a public school and was offered a place. Unfortunately it coincided with another posting but in the UK rather than abroad as my Dad had expected. That wasn't so bad as we moved to Middlesex. My school there was excellent, I was in the rugby and athletics teams and did well academically but I would have still preferred to have gone to that public school in Wiltshire...
ETA - what really pissed me off was that on passing the 11+ I took an entrance exam to a public school and was offered a place. Unfortunately it coincided with another posting but in the UK rather than abroad as my Dad had expected. That wasn't so bad as we moved to Middlesex. My school there was excellent, I was in the rugby and athletics teams and did well academically but I would have still preferred to have gone to that public school in Wiltshire...
Edited by Riley Blue on Wednesday 27th February 10:14
Year and a half at an Irish boarding school run by a religious order. Fascinating stuff, tough in parts but basically ok. No bumming anywhere, there was one priest who was inclined to touch the hands of his pupils occasionally but that was it.
Corporal punishment was still used but wasn't particularly common.
Corporal punishment was still used but wasn't particularly common.
day pupil at a boarding school- I'd say the mix was 1/3 boarders, 2/3's day.
try this though- school was 6 days a week !
Imagine chapel at 8.30 am on a Saturday and then double A level French at 9.05 am, at 18 with a banging hangover.
It did feel like I practically lived there though- long days, all the sports- might as well have boarded but glad I didn't. I liked coming home
A lot of the boarders had parents in the forces or were foreign- like son's of African royals, fair few chinese also. It was good though.
I went from being an utter genius in state primary school to fairly average, academically in a private school ! Just shows the intake !
Best thing I ever did when I started there, was, at night, 3 lads set upon me as I was coming back from swimming club.
somehow, weedy me, seriously hurt the biggest- maybe luck more than anything- smashing his head against a stone wall.
Pretty much I got left alone then, as much as you can ever be in a very male, bullying, private school environment, full of traditions.
try this though- school was 6 days a week !
Imagine chapel at 8.30 am on a Saturday and then double A level French at 9.05 am, at 18 with a banging hangover.
It did feel like I practically lived there though- long days, all the sports- might as well have boarded but glad I didn't. I liked coming home
A lot of the boarders had parents in the forces or were foreign- like son's of African royals, fair few chinese also. It was good though.
I went from being an utter genius in state primary school to fairly average, academically in a private school ! Just shows the intake !
Best thing I ever did when I started there, was, at night, 3 lads set upon me as I was coming back from swimming club.
somehow, weedy me, seriously hurt the biggest- maybe luck more than anything- smashing his head against a stone wall.
Pretty much I got left alone then, as much as you can ever be in a very male, bullying, private school environment, full of traditions.
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