Discussion
Thought this might cheer you up
While I was driving down the A41 today, (going a little faster than I should
have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side
with a radar gun laying in wait.
The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic
patronizing smirk, asked: "Runway too short?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And
just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to
two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to
side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the
hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do
with a six-foot arsehole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a
bridge..."
Speeding ticket: £105.00
Penalty Points : 3
Court costs: £45
Look on copper's face: Priceless
**********************************************************************
While I was driving down the A41 today, (going a little faster than I should
have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side
with a radar gun laying in wait.
The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic
patronizing smirk, asked: "Runway too short?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And
just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to
two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to
side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the
hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do
with a six-foot arsehole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a
bridge..."
Speeding ticket: £105.00
Penalty Points : 3
Court costs: £45
Look on copper's face: Priceless
**********************************************************************
Ho Ho Ho
Had a similar experience many years ago. Was stopped for doing 92 in a 60. Bad boy, go to jail do not pass go, do not collect 200 pounds. I was in the scooby at the time and the bib said "Fast cars these, about the same as my T5 Volvo"
I made the mistake of saying "But that's not yours"
End result very similar.
Had a similar experience many years ago. Was stopped for doing 92 in a 60. Bad boy, go to jail do not pass go, do not collect 200 pounds. I was in the scooby at the time and the bib said "Fast cars these, about the same as my T5 Volvo"
I made the mistake of saying "But that's not yours"
End result very similar.
Nicked for speeding in the Griff a couple of summers ago.
I actually tried to speed up the booking process so he didn't notice my out of date tax disc!
On completion of the ticket, he enthused by asking "Go on then, how quick have you had it?" - the cheeky t**t
I replied by saying about 160 on a runway but only 140 on a normal road.
>> Edited by lazyitus on Wednesday 18th May 09:04
I actually tried to speed up the booking process so he didn't notice my out of date tax disc!
On completion of the ticket, he enthused by asking "Go on then, how quick have you had it?" - the cheeky t**t
I replied by saying about 160 on a runway but only 140 on a normal road.
>> Edited by lazyitus on Wednesday 18th May 09:04
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