Stopping wife’s maintenance
Discussion
Sorry if this has been covered on here but has anyone approached the ex to stop spousal maintenance? She has been with her new boyfriend for over a year and he has his feet right under the table. All the kids have flown the nest but I’m legally bound to keep her (and her boyfriend) until I retire. She is a proud woman so I’m amazed she hasn’t broached the subject herself but then why would anyone turn down money I spose.
Surely even if he stays every weekend this can be classed as co habiting? I also assume the boyfriend is unaware I still pay her - she probably has told him she has had to fend for herself. I can’t imagine any man would have the self respect to let another man pay for a woman who is perfectly able to stand on her own 2 feet?
Surely even if he stays every weekend this can be classed as co habiting? I also assume the boyfriend is unaware I still pay her - she probably has told him she has had to fend for herself. I can’t imagine any man would have the self respect to let another man pay for a woman who is perfectly able to stand on her own 2 feet?
Fasterthanyou2 said:
When she Co habits or I retire
Cohabitation usually has a timescale, eg for 6 months.If her partner works away during the week you could probably argue cohabitation, but if not then he spends more time elsewhere, probably his own home, than with her so you may struggle to argue cohabitation.
Terminator X said:
Fasterthanyou2 said:
When she Co habits or I retire
If she has any sense then the first one will never happen I guess. B/F will only ever stay for a short while (at least from your perspective) and on you go …TX.
I still have 5 years left until I retire. Long enough.
She is the type of the woman that is so proud she would not admit to receiving maintenance. I’d love to know what she has told her new bloke. He probably thinks i haven’t paid a penny since I left. Although if he looks close enough at her lifestyle he might work it out.
She is the type of the woman that is so proud she would not admit to receiving maintenance. I’d love to know what she has told her new bloke. He probably thinks i haven’t paid a penny since I left. Although if he looks close enough at her lifestyle he might work it out.
Fasterthanyou2 said:
I still have 5 years left until I retire. Long enough.
She is the type of the woman that is so proud she would not admit to receiving maintenance. I’d love to know what she has told her new bloke. He probably thinks i haven’t paid a penny since I left. Although if he looks close enough at her lifestyle he might work it out.
He probably won't care. She is the type of the woman that is so proud she would not admit to receiving maintenance. I’d love to know what she has told her new bloke. He probably thinks i haven’t paid a penny since I left. Although if he looks close enough at her lifestyle he might work it out.
I'd be retiring early if it wound me up that much.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
You are right about the can of worms. The thing is if she was reasonable and stopped it I would be happy to build bridges with her for our older kids sake. But for as long as she takes the piss I have no intention of making amends which is a real shame. All I can say is that my children received above and beyond what most kids get - they never ever went without and nor did she as an ex wife. You would think now she has found happiness she might give me a rest now?A friend is going through this at the moment... pretty identical.
He simply stopped paying and she is now taking him to court. He has a counter action running to vary (downwards) the terms of the original Court Order - it'll hit court in a couple of weeks.
He was paying her £1,700 a month and earns around £200k a year. They divorced 3 years ago and he paid maintenance for around 18 months before stopping.
The cohabit thing is not an issue in my mates case - however I would imagine that if the boyfriend has his own property then cohabiting will be difficult to prove.
He simply stopped paying and she is now taking him to court. He has a counter action running to vary (downwards) the terms of the original Court Order - it'll hit court in a couple of weeks.
He was paying her £1,700 a month and earns around £200k a year. They divorced 3 years ago and he paid maintenance for around 18 months before stopping.
The cohabit thing is not an issue in my mates case - however I would imagine that if the boyfriend has his own property then cohabiting will be difficult to prove.
NDA said:
A friend is going through this at the moment... pretty identical.
He simply stopped paying and she is now taking him to court. He has a counter action running to vary (downwards) the terms of the original Court Order - it'll hit court in a couple of weeks.
He was paying her £1,700 a month and earns around £200k a year. They divorced 3 years ago and he paid maintenance for around 18 months before stopping.
The cohabit thing is not an issue in my mates case - however I would imagine that if the boyfriend has his own property then cohabiting will be difficult to prove.
I would prefer not to go to court. I would prefer her to be a human being and say ‘you looked out for me and the kids since you left and now I’ve moved on, the kids are older I am ready for you to stop maintenance which was agreed a long time ago and is now not relevant’ Why would anyone expect another person to help fund their lifestyle just because they was married once?He simply stopped paying and she is now taking him to court. He has a counter action running to vary (downwards) the terms of the original Court Order - it'll hit court in a couple of weeks.
He was paying her £1,700 a month and earns around £200k a year. They divorced 3 years ago and he paid maintenance for around 18 months before stopping.
The cohabit thing is not an issue in my mates case - however I would imagine that if the boyfriend has his own property then cohabiting will be difficult to prove.
Fasterthanyou2 said:
I still have 5 years left until I retire. Long enough.
She is the type of the woman that is so proud she would not admit to receiving maintenance. I’d love to know what she has told her new bloke. He probably thinks i haven’t paid a penny since I left. Although if he looks close enough at her lifestyle he might work it out.
Why don't you just stop paying it. That would require her to take you to court. Then you could see how proud she is?She is the type of the woman that is so proud she would not admit to receiving maintenance. I’d love to know what she has told her new bloke. He probably thinks i haven’t paid a penny since I left. Although if he looks close enough at her lifestyle he might work it out.
julian64 said:
Fasterthanyou2 said:
I still have 5 years left until I retire. Long enough.
She is the type of the woman that is so proud she would not admit to receiving maintenance. I’d love to know what she has told her new bloke. He probably thinks i haven’t paid a penny since I left. Although if he looks close enough at her lifestyle he might work it out.
Why don't you just stop paying it. That would require her to take you to court. Then you could see how proud she is?She is the type of the woman that is so proud she would not admit to receiving maintenance. I’d love to know what she has told her new bloke. He probably thinks i haven’t paid a penny since I left. Although if he looks close enough at her lifestyle he might work it out.
she once wrote to me via solicitors to say I owed her back interest on maintenance payments. She gave me 2 weeks to pay thousands. She had let it accumulate that much before she told me my payments should have increased with baseline inflation and cobbled together some figures. Like a mug I paid her. This is the type of person I’m dealing with. Bare in mind at this point I was paying thousands of pounds a month for her, school fees and anything else to do with the kids. To this day I can’t actually believe she did that. No shame at all.
Fasterthanyou2 said:
I would prefer not to go to court. I would prefer her to be a human being and say ‘you looked out for me and the kids since you left and now I’ve moved on, the kids are older I am ready for you to stop maintenance which was agreed a long time ago and is now not relevant’ Why would anyone expect another person to help fund their lifestyle just because they was married once?
She won't be a human being. She hates you and this is all part of her pleasure.I am seeing this an awful lot amongst my circle of mates who are going through similar stuff.... they provided for 20 years moved on and now being punished by the courts.
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