Ridiculous words
Discussion
Couldn`t find the "bad use of English" thread, so will kick this off?
My lad and his mates went to a Businesspost depot today for familiarisation course today prior to starting holiday work on Monday. During the talk, the plonker kept referring to the "sortation process". How I kept a straight face I`ll never know. He must be related to George Dubya.
Incidently, how jealous am I? My 16year old will be earning £200 pw for 5 hours work a night and paying no tax as he is a student. At least I will have someone to tap up for a loan!
My lad and his mates went to a Businesspost depot today for familiarisation course today prior to starting holiday work on Monday. During the talk, the plonker kept referring to the "sortation process". How I kept a straight face I`ll never know. He must be related to George Dubya.
Incidently, how jealous am I? My 16year old will be earning £200 pw for 5 hours work a night and paying no tax as he is a student. At least I will have someone to tap up for a loan!
“Going forward” is the in phrase at my place of work and it’s doing my nut in.
A typical email “can you include me on the circulation list going forward”
Whats wrong with “ In future can you include me on the circulation list” or “can you include me on the circulation list from now on”
A typical email “can you include me on the circulation list going forward”
Whats wrong with “ In future can you include me on the circulation list” or “can you include me on the circulation list from now on”
Working very closely with our US comrades I am often subjected to some truly astounding English.
My favourites include “aloo-minum” as apposed to Aluminium.
The pronunciation superfluous as “super-floo-us” cracks me up every time.
My favourites include “aloo-minum” as apposed to Aluminium.
The pronunciation superfluous as “super-floo-us” cracks me up every time.
Some Soldier said:
”We have invaderised, and conquerfied and now we must protecterise”
From Black adder
G...Prince George
E...Blackadder
J...Dr Samuel Johnson
In Prince's House
(knock at door)
G: Enter!
E: Dr. Johnson, Your Highness.
G: Ah, Dr. Johnson! Damn cold day!
J: Indeed it is, sir -- but a very fine one, for I celebrated last night the
encyclopaedic implementation of my pre-meditated orchestration of demotic
Anglo-Saxon.
G: (nods, grinning, then speaks) Nope -- didn't catch any of that.
J: Well, I simply observed, sir, that I'm felicitous, since, during the
course of the penultimate solar sojourn, I terminated my uninterrupted
categorisation of the vocabulary of our post-Norman tongue.
G: Well, I don't know what you're talking about, but it sounds damn saucy,
you lucky thing! I know some fairly liberal-minded girls, but I've
never penultimated any of them in a solar sojourn, or, for that matter,
been given any Norman tongue!
E: I believe, sir, that the Doctor is trying to tell you that he is happy
because he has finished his book. It has, apparently, taken him ten years.
G: Yes, well, I'm a slow reader myself...
J: (places two manuscripts on the table, but picks up the top one)
Here it is, sir: the very cornerstone of English scholarship. This book,
sir, contains every word in our beloved language.
G: Hmm.
E: Every single one, sir?
J: (confidently) Every single word, sir!
E: (to Prince) Oh, well, in that case, sir, I hope you will not object if
I also offer the Doctor my most enthusiastic contrafribblarities.
J: What?
E: `Contrafribblarites', sir? It is a common word down our way.
J: Damn! (writes in the book)
E: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I'm anus-peptic, phrasmotic, even compunctious to have
caused you such pericombobulation.
J: What? What? WHAT?
G: What are you on about, Blackadder? This is all beginning to sound a bit
like dago talk to me.
E: I'm sorry, sir. I merely wished to congratulate the Doctor on not having
left out a single word. (J sneers) Shall I fetch the tea, Your Highness?
G: Yes, yes -- and get that damned fire up here, will you?
E: Certainly, sir. I shall return interphrastically. (exits) (J writes some
more)
G...Prince George
E...Blackadder
J...Dr Samuel Johnson
In Prince's House
(knock at door)
G: Enter!
E: Dr. Johnson, Your Highness.
G: Ah, Dr. Johnson! Damn cold day!
J: Indeed it is, sir -- but a very fine one, for I celebrated last night the
encyclopaedic implementation of my pre-meditated orchestration of demotic
Anglo-Saxon.
G: (nods, grinning, then speaks) Nope -- didn't catch any of that.
J: Well, I simply observed, sir, that I'm felicitous, since, during the
course of the penultimate solar sojourn, I terminated my uninterrupted
categorisation of the vocabulary of our post-Norman tongue.
G: Well, I don't know what you're talking about, but it sounds damn saucy,
you lucky thing! I know some fairly liberal-minded girls, but I've
never penultimated any of them in a solar sojourn, or, for that matter,
been given any Norman tongue!
E: I believe, sir, that the Doctor is trying to tell you that he is happy
because he has finished his book. It has, apparently, taken him ten years.
G: Yes, well, I'm a slow reader myself...
J: (places two manuscripts on the table, but picks up the top one)
Here it is, sir: the very cornerstone of English scholarship. This book,
sir, contains every word in our beloved language.
G: Hmm.
E: Every single one, sir?
J: (confidently) Every single word, sir!
E: (to Prince) Oh, well, in that case, sir, I hope you will not object if
I also offer the Doctor my most enthusiastic contrafribblarities.
J: What?
E: `Contrafribblarites', sir? It is a common word down our way.
J: Damn! (writes in the book)
E: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I'm anus-peptic, phrasmotic, even compunctious to have
caused you such pericombobulation.
J: What? What? WHAT?
G: What are you on about, Blackadder? This is all beginning to sound a bit
like dago talk to me.
E: I'm sorry, sir. I merely wished to congratulate the Doctor on not having
left out a single word. (J sneers) Shall I fetch the tea, Your Highness?
G: Yes, yes -- and get that damned fire up here, will you?
E: Certainly, sir. I shall return interphrastically. (exits) (J writes some
more)
Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars?
What about those long and boring conference calls?
Here's a way to change all of that.
1. Before (or during if you're the unprepared type) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. i find that 5"x 5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns-five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.
2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
* synergy
* strategic fit
* core competencies
* best practice
* bottom line
* revisit
* expeditious
* to tell you the truth or "the truth is"
* 24/7
* out of the loop
* benchmark
* value-added
* proactive
* win-win
* think outside the box
* fast track
* result-driven
* empower (or empowerment)
* knowledge base
* at the end of the day
* touch base
* mindset
* client focus(ed)
* paradigm
* game plan
* leverage
3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.
4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLS
T!"
>> Edited by WingChunDave on Friday 20th May 08:32
What about those long and boring conference calls?
Here's a way to change all of that.
1. Before (or during if you're the unprepared type) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. i find that 5"x 5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns-five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.
2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:
* synergy
* strategic fit
* core competencies
* best practice
* bottom line
* revisit
* expeditious
* to tell you the truth or "the truth is"
* 24/7
* out of the loop
* benchmark
* value-added
* proactive
* win-win
* think outside the box
* fast track
* result-driven
* empower (or empowerment)
* knowledge base
* at the end of the day
* touch base
* mindset
* client focus(ed)
* paradigm
* game plan
* leverage
3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.
4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLS
T!" >> Edited by WingChunDave on Friday 20th May 08:32
next time you're in Pizza Hut, look over to where they cut the pizzas before sending them out. there should be a laminated card above it for staff reference which has three illustrations showing "acceptable levels of doneness". doneness?
also, some time ago, a friend was watching an American cop documentary where the word 'burglarized' was used a fair bit along with one cop stating that the "felon had been apprehended and was found to be carrying burglarious instruments". Burglarious? did he just make that up on the spot?
also, some time ago, a friend was watching an American cop documentary where the word 'burglarized' was used a fair bit along with one cop stating that the "felon had been apprehended and was found to be carrying burglarious instruments". Burglarious? did he just make that up on the spot?
you forgot 're-inventing the wheel'. and 'reading from the same page'.
i play a game in my head called 'punch the punchline' and in meetings every time one of these Muppet's scores more than a six i allow myself 5 minutes of blissful mental violence, using placards with the slogans written on them.
also vis-a-vis drives me to almost comical levels of rage. as does placing the word scenario randomly into sentences. also people who over use the word random.
example: so i get this random text from my brother.. how random is that?
pedant me: well, if he'd guessed all 11 digits of your telephone number the first time that would be quite random. of course, if he had your number already and he meant the text to go to you, its less random.
i play a game in my head called 'punch the punchline' and in meetings every time one of these Muppet's scores more than a six i allow myself 5 minutes of blissful mental violence, using placards with the slogans written on them.
also vis-a-vis drives me to almost comical levels of rage. as does placing the word scenario randomly into sentences. also people who over use the word random.
example: so i get this random text from my brother.. how random is that?
pedant me: well, if he'd guessed all 11 digits of your telephone number the first time that would be quite random. of course, if he had your number already and he meant the text to go to you, its less random.
hronkwizzpig said:
Working very closely with our US comrades I am often subjected to some truly astounding English.
My favourites include “aloo-minum” as apposed to Aluminium.
The pronunciation superfluous as “super-floo-us” cracks me up every time.
Much as I hate to say it I think you will find that the yanks pronounce it the correct way.
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